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Intuition, the invisible action a collection of all actions practiced. After years of practice this is what I have come to understand as intuition. I observed that when I practice a technique whether it works or not my body and mind remembers it. That is each and every moment of practice I have ever done. Overtime, I think I have practiced a certain technique thousands of times and each time collecting information that is evaluated by both my mind and body. The purpose here than is the next time I do the technique all that information will and does come into play. It floods both mind and body instantaneously into action, without the slightest thought. A process of which is completely devoid of all that conscious and analytical stuff that goes on in the forefront of our minds.
When I don't interrupt my intuitive process with my forefront thoughts of judgment and all those things, I am freer to act and discover. As an Observer rather than an actively committing self-evaluation, I allow all that stored information to flow freely and come into play in a heat-beat. And I like that.
The biggest pothole to my intuition of course is my own active judgmental stuff hijacking my intuition. Once that is done, the doubt monster takes over and finishes me off to where I completely stop, shut down. Resulting in me having to slump off to a corner diseased with self-doubt, and nursing a wounded ego. You should see it, I mentally do beautiful wazas on myself. My mental Aikido is
Yep, that's me. I am an average guy and there isn't anything special about me when it comes to Aikido. I didn't study under anyone famous or well known and stuff. And those I seek to train with in Aikido are those I think can teach me something. I can say it has been a success.
I believe, no matter how long I have or will train that I will always be a student. I can always learn from everyone, and I do.
I have had my share of dry periods between training and Sensei's. It has been good and bad. But nothing is perfect and you do the best you can do. No experience is a wasted one if you take the perspective of learning from it, that there is always something to learn from it.
I read a lot about O'Sensei's life and his writings. Both are at times rewarding and disappointing. O'Sensei is a person of interest to me; his vision for Aikido training, his life, and his views. I wish, I was able to train with and under him. In this way, I would be able to touch Aikido in its original form and intent.
I started Aikido as a result of being bullied, and found a different reason to study Aikido as a result of Aikido. I wanted to kick butt to get revenge, and found that such a path, as a result of Aikido, is a disasterious and petty path. Therefore, my skill in technique is less important than the development of my character and what I learn from Aikido. As I see it, we are all chasing O'Sensei, some people are further behind than others, some are closer then others, a