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I missed four classes in a row due to illness and two events I couldn't miss. Yesterday's class was my first one back after the break.
For whatever reason, I'm always a bit nervous about going back to the dojo after a break. This time, I'm also nervous about starting grad school in a week or so. But, thankfully, as soon as we knelt to bow in, I quickly shed my nervousness and had a great class.
It's strange, this reaction I have. In many ways, it's physiological, manifesting itself as an upset stomach. Often I have the physical symptoms before I realize that I'm nervous or stressed. Logically, I know that I don't have anything to be worried about -- that I've been training for a number of years now, and I know what to expect. But emotionally, I still get nervous. Some of it is a holdover, I'm sure, from the insecurity I've felt in the past about not being able to keep up with the rest of the class. Now, though, I find it much easier to keep up and I do pretty well physically -- this is due to my weight loss and the experience I've accumulated during my training. I'm both lighter and more efficient.
In any event, it was very gratifying to be able to drop right back into place and have a good class; even after a week and a half off.