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I decided to take a leap. This year is MY year. It is MY shot. I have been hoping and looking forward to this since last year. What is it I'm speaking of? Only the Birankai version of aikido heaven, also known as Summer Camp!!!
This year, it is in Portland, which is less then five hours away from my front door. No plane ticket necessary. An added bonus, considering it hasn't been anywhere near here in a long time. Of course, I have the foot issue going on, but I have more or less accepted that to be a daily part of my life for the time being.
The only problem is that my bank account is lacking funds for the trip. Sure, I had the funds. I've had the funds several times throughout the past year. Each time, something came up and I had to dig into my stash of hidden away acorns. I needed new tires, my brother, who lives on the opposite side of the country, got married (YAY!) and then… I clunked down some cash for an in stock iaito that just seemed meant for me.
So now my little carved out space in my tree trunk, where the acorns were once stashed, is now home to nothing but darkness… and cobwebs. Now what? Well, I decided to ask about a scholarship, but turns out that wouldn't work either. They offered to front the entire amount and I could repay them over the next few months, which seemed like a great idea, until I figured out that I don't even afford that. Now what? Well, I told them that I just couldn't afford to go. ….
I later found out that someone was willing to donate $100 towards my summer camp fees, which was incredibly kind and generous, but that still left me in the hole. They also offered to maybe open up an anonymous donation fund in my name, but that didn't quite seem fair to the others. Dang it…. I knew that me buying that iaito would come back to bite me in the ass. Who knew iaito's had teeth….
I was pretty bummed about it for a while, but I think I have more or less moved on. Sure, I will be upset once everyone goes away for a week of fun and frolic, but just because I can't go doesn't mean everyone else should suffer with me. Inevitably, they will bring back some things to implement in class, so I will still get a tiny taste of what I missed. Not to mention, I probably wouldn't be able to go all out and train for as many hours a day as I would like because my foot can only handle four hours a week at the moment.
Which reminds me, I FINALLY got an appointment with the ortho. I sent my stuff over there on May 2nd and waited, waited and waited some more. I finally called them back last week and complained. Without really saying so, they eluded to the fact that they lost my paperwork! They told me the soonest they could get me in was July 27th. That kind of pissed me off, but at the same time, I've been waiting for two months, what's another month? By the time I get in there, I will have had the injury for over nine months.
I'm not really sure what to expect. Truthfully, I think that's a good thing. Whenever I have expectations with doctors, I always end up disappointed. Or at least this has been the case with my foot. The only thing I am fairly certain about is that I will walk out of there after spending more money on appointments and possibly an MRI. At this point, I almost hope that something is wrong. I don't want to be some crazy person who is just a baby and over reacts to things. I don't want to spend all this money to find out that I have something that "just takes time to heal."
Then again, paying for this may help give me peace of mind. Knowing that the pain is just pain and that me causing pain doesn't necessarily make the injury worse or take a leap backwards in the healing process will really help put me at ease. Who knows. I just wonder what can be seen or done to something so far after the injury. Maybe I did have a severe injury, but nine months down the road it is bound to have healed a bit.
They want me to bring in my x-rays from the podiatrist, so I have to go pick them up next week. Hopefully, they find them adequate so I don't have to pay for more x-rays. I will be sure to blog about what I learn. My only question is, do I take it easy until the appointment so as to minimize or eliminate any inflammation and aggravation or do I push my foot until then so I go in there with something to talk about instead of "Well, when I did this before, it hurt, but I stopped doing all those things and now I am more or less okay, provided I don't live my life…."