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In General
Feeling Back to Normal Again
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#100
02-18-2004 10:58 PM |
...and thank goodness. 
I spoke to an older friend of mine at work yesterday about how things have been going, practicing for the Gokkyu test. She's an energy healer and a former Shodan in Judo, and had some insightful things to say --- rather, she helped point me in the right direction.
"This isn't about being perfect," she said. "this is about where you are right now." And she's right. I realized that I needed to stop nitpicking and just let myself do what I naturally do, to the best of my ability. "My body instinctively knows how to move when I'm completely focused," I said. She then told me that I already know for myself the answer that I seek. "So what do you need to do?" she asked me. I paused and thought for a moment. Then it occured to me. All of a sudden, it seemed so simple. I couldn't believe that I hadn't noticed it before. "I need to breathe. I got all pent up yesterday during the test run-through because I stopped paying attention to my breathing."
So I did. We ran through my test first tonight. And guess what? It worked! It no longer felt as labourous or clumsy as before. It felt so...free. And a couple of times, when things didn't happen with uke quite the way you'd normally expect, I laughed. It was great!
For the rest of the night, I worked on Katatedori Koshinage [note to self: remember to touch the floor with your free hand] with my Sempais (who practiced Shomenuchi Gokkyo in Suwari Waza on me --- aka "ouch, that's nasty!") and Katatedori Shihonage with our newest student.
Countdown:
Two more days to test time...and it's no longer me feeling like, "let's just get this bloody thing over with" --- I'm actually starting to look forward to it.
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