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Being honest is one of the hardest things to do, it seems. It's so simple, just tell the truth, but how many times do we find ourselves not telling the truth? Do we even know what the truth is? This can get pretty deep....
Your friend doesn't look very good with her new hair cut, but instead of telling her the truth, you tell her it looks good...and you justify it with, it's all a matter of perspective.
Your boss asks you if you called that client, you haven't, but you tell him you have, you excuse yourself and call him right away. You justify it with, I'm about to do it....
Your daughter asks you to buy her a pair of jeans, and you tell her you don't have any money (but you do, you just don't want to spend your last $100.00 on her pair of jeans....)
In a wonderful book that I like to read every once in a while is says: "He grants a treasure of common sense to the honest. He is a shield to those who walk with integrity." Proverbs 2:7
I've been thinking about that pretty hard, and really paying attention to when I am honest and catching myself when I am not.
On the mat, it's much easier to catch myself, because honesty is much easier to see. Am I honestly putting effort, strength, power into my attack? Am I aiming at my target? Am I just throwing myself, afraid that I may get injured? What's driving me?
I think honesty must come from the attacker, uke, in order for the nage to truly progress and learn Aikido. Doesn't that sound like common sense
OK, so I was trying to work out why a technique didn't work very well with me when someone was attacking. And, I just couldn't figure it out, so naturally, I blamed my attacker. He's not attacking me correctly, so it's not working.
Can you believe that! I actually started blaming my attacker, on why I couldn't get the technique.
Well, isn't that just a natural why to react to situations. I mean, think about it, don't we do that all the time. How hard would it be if we were always blaming ourselves. Don't you think it'd be a bit depressing?
It's not my fault I'm poor. It's not my fault I can't find a job. It's not my fault I'm getting a divorce. It's not my fault I split the coffee all over me and burned myself.....and on and on it goes. Isn't that why we get married, so that we can blame our partner for everything!
I've seen how instructors manipulate their students into making them look like they've actually "got" the technique. It's so disappointing, and at times, physically painful.
If iron sharpens iron, then it's all of us together that need to work on this. We accept where we are, and are held accountable for it.
So, I was demonstrating a technique the other day, and my uke, in front of the whole class, made sure that everyone knew that I got the technique wrong.....what in the world did I do.......I thanked him and said out loud, "well, that surely didn't work, I need to try it a different way."