AikiWeb: The Source for Aikido Information AikiWeb's principal purpose is to serve the Internet community as a repository and dissemination point for aikido information.
Hello and thank you for visiting AikiWeb, the
world's most active online Aikido community! This site is home to
over 22,000 aikido practitioners from around the world and covers a
wide range of aikido topics including techniques, philosophy, history,
humor, beginner issues, the marketplace, and more.
If you wish to join in the discussions or use the other advanced
features available, you will need to register first. Registration is
absolutely free and takes only a few minutes to complete so sign up today!
II have been doing a lot of soul searching lately, and have concluded that I will no longer post my journal on a public forum. I think that for me the posting on a public forum is only making my struggle with my ego more difficult. With all the literature I have been reading on Budo, Zen Buddhism, and Aikido Philosophy I can't help but think that posting my journal on a public forum is saying "Hey look at me. Look what I'm doing"! That I think is a big part of my problem with following this way. I try too hard to gain recognition and praise, where what I really need to do is just strive to be the best I can be without worrying about what others think whether it be good or bad.
I have come to realize that every time I make an accomplishment I have a need for someone, actually everyone, to know about it. I now see how egotistical this is and I need to take steps to stop this. I'm pretty sure this bragging has caused a rift in some important relation ships in my life. So my goal now is to try and move away from the me/I focus and start training towards the we/us focus. I just wish I didn't have to struggle through this alone. But then again it's probably best this way as the need for a mentor to tell me whether I'm diminishing my ego or not is just another desire to get a pat on the back.
So to those that did read my journals I apologize. I do find my journals helpful to me, and I will continue to journal, but I am now questioning why I need to publicize them.