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Tonight i took my 4th Kue test, I should be happy and exceted, but I not! I can't say that any test has gone as plyned , but this one I not even postive that I actuly did some of teques at all. I mean on pervious test I sure I messed up, but not like this and not like you could not even reconise what the teque was. I so , epicaly failyed, onmy difense I siad I was not readdy, but I did it anyway, out of trust in sisay and another sutdent whom siad I coould do it. I gess they were wrong! I feel like I let them down more then my self , becaue I already at lest was nto sure, I gess it just conformed it. Sisay , I don't think has ever not passed anyone, and so I am sure I passed. However, if you look at that fact that he went up to the mom of the other testy and siad she did assume and when my dad came to get me he siad nothing, I must not have done all that well. I feel like if accept the award and belt that he says he will send to me, It would be lie. However , I dear not say that to him becaue I was told along time ago that if you question the belt level then you question sisay, and I addmire him and trust him too much to go disrepecting intealy him. I feel like it more like school he is just doing it because he "has" to or something not like earned it. I know some of the stuff but not nearly as well as I should and I defently failed tonignt. I felt sick to my stumic for the rest of the night , still do. I gess I know now the asnwer to my last blog.. I jsut dont want it to be so. Today was so good, I felt conccnoed kinda agin, oh well. I just tryed of trying when I gess I relly am geting nowhere!