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This poem and others are available in my books, Nothing Works: Meditations on Aikido, Buddhism, the Tao, Zen, and other inconsequential things....and, Nothing Special, and Nothing Matters..., available thru Amazon.com, in print and Kindle editions and Barnes & Noble websites.....Also available as an e-book via Smashwords.com. Try this link: www.nothing-works.com for the full array of options.
After Aikido class
We all go to a coffee shop
(Some have tea!)
We are mostly too old to
Care to go to a bar…
And, sweat cooling
We all discuss the class
Techniques, successes, failures
General pain and suffering
And then usually move
On to other subjects
(Religion, Politics, War, Logic,
Math, Science, Stupidity, etc.
all the common ailments
of Humankind)
A long-time class tradition
An open invitation
Sometimes outsiders join us
Old café denizens creeping out
Of the dark recesses of the coffee shop
Drawn to our charisma!
Calling us Sensei, Ninja Master…-
Who are we to disabuse them
And crush their souls?
But, then, Joseph starts talking
And we are all brought down to Earth
Still, we miss him when
He is gone and like him
So, we smile and nod our heads
(Sometimes slapping his)
And let the Aikido universe spin on
With cup o'tea in hand
I exist in a world that
Is not as it seems
It is so easy to get lost
Wandering
I long to see past the illusion
Past misleading thoughts
I seek the hidden principles
The true reality behind it all
To find my true self
And finally become conscious
I fart and stand up, stretching
From my lotus position
Am I conscious, yet?
How would I know?
The greatest barrier to consciousness is the belief
that one is already conscious.
~ P.D. Ouspensky
How many times are you going
to read all this stuff?
I mean, you always read stuff.
When does it end?
Are you that much smarter, now?
And you are always doing those weird things,
you know, martial arts and meditation stuff.
Well, I could say it is a process.
I am ignorant.
I am trying to learn how to BE
So, I read and read.
I study
I practice.
Yeah, I get that.
But, when does it end?
Think of it as a ladder, or,
if you are older, like me, an escalator.
One day I will no longer need to climb.
I will just sit
Just sit and be still
Bypassing all the learning
Bypassing all the processes
Actually trying to unlearn all my learning
To be unwise, as it were
And, BE there -- actually, be HERE
That's it?
That's what all this is about?
Well, yes and no.
What?!
Don't give me that mystical mumbo-jumbo.
I'm not trying to, but it's hard to explain.
Being-in-the-world is just the beginning.
It is merely a transition
To what?
Well, I'm sure when I reach that place
I will not have the words to explain it.
It is a non-verbal state, after all.
But, but….
Exactly…
Perhaps then, we both could just sit
and converse in silence, and be unwise
together
They say that death and sacrifice
Are necessary for life and well-being
That apoptosis - the falling leaves
Of programmed cell death
Lead to a harmonious life
Till?
Master
Please take me to the far shore
I cannot reach it alone
The Promised Land beckons
Please, help me!
Movement gives the illusion of progress
Am I progressing, Master?
I chant
I breathe in the incense
I purge myself
I meditate
Wait till the last sentient creature
In the universe is enlightened?
What?
That's a really long time!
How do I know I've reached Buddhahood?
In whatever I do?
But, but…
I have to break myself?
How do I do that?
Hard work?
But, but…
Can't you just give me the
Magic mantra?
Master?
That sadness of being human Mono no aware
The reality of life
Reflecting back on all the years
All the lost years
If I could go back to my youth
And explain, caution
Be kind, be gentle, be human
To yourself and others
I told someone once
That I didn't think people
Become fully human
Till they are at least forty
But, I don't suppose some people
Ever become fully human
Regardless of their age
Tears of things past
A weary perspective
That gives me pause
But little comfort