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Being a good ok means riding the fine line between attacking to strongly and being to nice.
Somehow attacking strongly for a lot of people seems to mean that they have to attack full force and speed (and thus are no longer able to handle the breakfalling part of ukemi). How to learn people that a good attack is one that follows through. Most bad attacks you get are from people that hold back, change the speed midway or change the direction of the atack to a deliberate miss. In unarmed practise it sucks and is quite enoying, they dont offer anything to work with. But with weapons I fear these partners. Quite often the safety within the exercises lies within the certainty about what your partner is doing. I have been hit more often by people that tried to miss me than I have been hit by people that (within the context of the exercise) realy tried to wack me.