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I seem to have hit my learning plateau this week. Frustration grinds at me , roughing up my spirit and tearing my moods to pieces. Why are things so hard? It seems the simplest of techniques provides me with nothing but confusion and frustration. I cried today. I couldn't stop crying. I was so worked up, so mad at my self.
Perhaps its just been a bad day for me?
I'm trying desperately to keep a positive attitude, even as I feel my spirit grow heavy.
I feel stupid.
I feel useless.
I feel like the waves of the sea as the storm gathers.
But I will not run away. I will go to Aikido in Denver, see a different point of view. I will go back to aikido the week after next.
I will not run away .
I will wash away the bad with my tears.
I will wake up tomorrow and smile. I'm going home… I'm finally seeing those I love.