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ikkainogakusei's Blog Blog Tools Rate This Blog
Creation Date: 02-12-2003 09:07 PM
ikkainogakusei
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Status: Public
Entries: 17
Comments: 33
Views: 21,401

In General What We Say Vs. What We Do Entry Tools Rate This Entry
  #17 New 03-27-2004 03:14 PM
I've had a few moments of challenge lately which inspire me to reasses my idea of theory versus practice. In the lightest sense we are all...or at least many of us are in the habit of attempting to act in a harmonious manner with our fellow aikidoka and posasibly our fellow human beings. I feel like I practice this but have come across a few people who are pushing the edge of my harmonious capabilities. One of whom tends to hold people hostage with his pontifications even to the extent of making himself and his captive late for class, for the sake of what seems to me to be pointless blather. How do I blend with this? How do I politely cut him off and say 'you need to train now' and at the same time make it an awase instead an irimi. I understand that irimi sometimes is applicable, but sometimes it's a shortcut.

In a more serious example, I've had a few friends who have trained in aikido for years and never been in an altercation, but recently it seems that a few have had this come to pass. One friend stepped in to a bar fight that he wasn't invloved in with the plan of stopping it. Rather than attempting to cool it down he met physical assertion with physical assertion, without even knowing what was going on. Philosophically, it seems to be outside his repetoire of actions, yet he chose that path.

Many of us are not exposed to extremes, possibly even those which are beyond a mere bar fight, but we still hold these tennets of nonviolence aloft as the only option. Truly, if a relative, a friend, or even (I am a bit embarrassed to say) my dog were in peril I am not sure if I would be thoroughly aiki. Could this be my confidence in aikido? No, I think it is more about emotional knee jerk, which though I have been in extremes before and not lost the moral high ground, I can't say that I can overcome every situation.
Views: 1117 | Comments: 3


RSS Feed 3 Responses to "What We Say Vs. What We Do"
#3 12-18-2004 09:52 AM
John Boswell Says:
Kelly is right about needing to end off a conversation. Often times, and this is a pyschological issue, people will talk on and on because they are never fully and truly acknowledged. Over a long period of time with no proper acknowledgement, they will develope the pattern of going on ceaselessly and will talk your ears off. My handlilng for such a person is to really listen and then interject with something like: "Exactlly! You're saying XYZ and I totally agree/disagree with that." If you agree, you just reaffirm what they said and that you do agree and now you have to go or... if you disagree, then you tell them "I never thought about it like that and would like to think about it some more. Let's talk about this again after I've given it some consideration." Then you thank that person for their time, that you will let them "...get back to what you (he or she) was doing and catch up with them later. People just want to be noticed and appreciated. You see similar behavior from older people who are desperate for attention. Well, the aiki thing to do would be to give them attention, but ration it out so they know not to expect a prolonged audience everytime... but rather a brief encounter that they can count on tomorrow or the next day.... but not a month or two down the road. Just my 2 cents. Good luck with this!
#2 04-02-2004 03:44 PM
Kelly Allen Says:
BTW In relation to this topic check out "Aikido in Every Day Life, Giving in to get your own way" by Terry Dobson and Victor Miller. I am about half way through the book and it makes alot of sense.
#1 03-28-2004 12:09 AM
Kelly Allen Says:
I have a neighbor that recently moved in across the back lane who has a habit of taking people captive in this way. Despite this very bad habit he is a very pleasant person. I have quickly learned to be accertive in a friendly way to him so that if I need to go he can't continue the conversation. I think he understands his bad habit as it doesn't seem to offend him that I abruptly break him off if I need to be somewhere else. My poor wife almost has anxiety attacks when she sees him tooling around his garage in the back lane and she needs to go somewhere. I don't blame her but you can't control others behavior you can only control your own. If that means abruptly ending a conversation without being, or feeling rude, so be it.
 




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