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Matthew's Blog Blog Tools Rate This Blog
Creation Date: 02-19-2008 11:49 AM
mathewjgano
Offline
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My cyber sounding board...
Blog Info
Status: Public
Entries: 95 (Private: 17)
Comments: 52
Views: 90,407

In General Macro in steam of consciousness Entry Tools Rate This Entry
  #12 New 09-17-2011 12:24 AM
I'm sitting here bouncing on my exercise ball with my 2-month old son, watching the Daily Show and contemplating the fate of the world. You know, small stuff. After reading about nuclear disasters, watching a show on megaquakes, and watching politicians whip people into mindless sound-bite derived frenzies, it's hard not to worry about the fate of my two sons. Then I think about all the huge dreams I had as a younger man and compare them with the "lesser" realities I made happen (despite having had a lot of support), it becomes easy to get discouraged; to become a fatalist; to see 2012 as some doomsday period.
Life is complicated; life is simple. It's unfathomable in any real depth, and I sincerely believe we're just a bunch of big-brained (neurotic) apes slapping labels on things so our minds can feel like we have it figured out...at least, figured out enough...long enough for us to build a new tool with which to break more nuts to stuff in our gullets.
And this is where my idealism tends to kick in. I look at the roughly 11,000 years of history we've scraped together out of the sands of deserts (a blink's worth on the whole); I look at the astounding level of tool development we've acquired in the last 100 years, let alone the curve seen in the last 30; I see how my 2-year old learns things I thought he wasn't paying attention to and my 2-month old smiles at me almost every time I say hi (it's not gas!); I see people building themselves up and the (corny as it may sound) majesty of the learning process by which people become more than they once were. All these things combine together to form an answer to a question I have no words for.
And so, while my Aikido training is paltry, my income a joke, and my career yet to be "quite" figured out (among other things more or less important), I'm happy and greatful for the chance to enjoy the ride; to feel the exertion of my self to the point of tiredness and know that I'm alive.
Gambatte.
...and now to share more than I like with a bunch of people I don't know...
Take care, you all.
Matthew J Gano
Views: 851 | Comments: 4


RSS Feed 4 Responses to "Macro in steam of consciousness"
#4 09-18-2011 10:40 PM
mathewjgano Says:
Thanks, Carina! I'm seeing that on a small scale already! Seeing those first smiles and other milestones really reminds us how "old" our 2-year old is by comparison. I hold the little one and he's so light and then I pick up the older one and he feels soooo big and heavy, but it wasn't that long ago that he felt small and light too.
#3 09-18-2011 02:32 AM
Hi Matthew, Thanks for a great post.Enjoy small things, most of all the daily life with your little son, the children grow so fast, for me it is like yesterday when I was doing the same as you now, and now the oldest is 22. And when you get there you will realize,and I hope you will still be practicing, that Aikido is one of the important things of your life, that you are living applying Aiki principles. Best Carina
#2 09-17-2011 02:14 PM
mathewjgano Says:
Thank you, Graham!
#1 09-17-2011 07:42 AM
Beautiful.
 




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