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I see aikido as primarily a process of self-discovery; a pursuit of my relationship to the universe, my own spirit and my fellow human beings. As such, my understanding of aikido grows from within me as a result of continuous training and contemplation. My growth and maturity as a person and as a student of aikido are so intertwined as to be indistinguishable. The study of aikido is a process of maturation wherein my life experience helps shape my aikido development and vice versa.
As an instructor, I find it difficult to express what is going on inside of me as I continue to grow as a student. It is only recently that I have begun to relate to my students my process of learning and discovery as divorced from the transmission of the form of my aikido.