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Is it all in the mind? No...but most of it is. As someone, whose name I've forgotten, once said, "whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right".
The destructive power of those little voices that tell you you're not quite good/funny/attractive enough is awesome. They can destroy everything from a breakfall to a relationship. (or should that be the other way round in priority on an Aikido Site!? )
Heading towards my thirties things are getting better. Thanks go to jf for reminding me how lucky I am...