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<blogEntries>
<blogEntry id="2856">
	<title><![CDATA[Improvement?]]></title>
	<body><![CDATA[Last Friday I was asked to do several jiyu waza's.  This usually, IME, means I've screwed up the first so Sensei wants me to try to improve.  Oh well.

Then, after class Sensei approaches me outside in the parking lot - an unusual move for him, though not unheard of.  He asks me if I've been doing anything special in my life, particularly as it pertains to Aikido.  He says he's noticed considerable improvement in my Aikido.  A really huge difference.

Right, so, back when I got my nidan, he told me he expected me to be ready for my sandan in about half the time it normally takes (1.5 years as opposed to 3).  It's been almost two years.

Then, one of his top students who knows him better than anyone else on the planet had told me several weeks ago that he thinks Sensei is waiting for me to ask for it.  Like I'm basically ready and that I'm the one who needs to realize this.

I'm not one to argue with my instructor's judgement (mostly), but I certainly don't feel ready.  I feel, well, like I've got a long way to go.  In some ways, Sandan is a bigger deal than shodan ever could be.  Aside from it just being a higher rank, there's the expectation that a sandan should pretty much have mastery of the art.  A sandan is at the point where any learning is up to the student.  No teacher required anymore.

Then I remembered this:

http://www.aikiweb.com/forums/blog.php?do=showentry&e=2601

So, I'm left wondering.  Was his approaching me a subtle hint?  Like, "Come on, Michael, get over your stupid self-doubt already!" sort of thing?

I don't know, but I'm still hanging on to my self doubt for a bit.

I realized recently, though, that my greatest fear is to become as arrogant as people occasionally perceive me to be.  It's one thing to have people see me that way because I try to be confident and decisive, but it's another to actually be that arrogant and see it in myself.

So, maybe I need to set some kind of milestone for myself.  Something that I can say, "I did this, so maybe it's time to ask Sensei about my sandan".  But, the thing is, it isn't the rank I want, it's being worthy of the rank.  It's feeling like I really am that good.

I don't.  Not yet.]]></body>
	<date>01-09-2007</date>
</blogEntry>

<blogEntry id="2839">
	<title><![CDATA[First Annual Roll-A-Thon]]></title>
	<body><![CDATA[So, there was this guy on a Yahoo! Aikido group who was doing a a roll-a-thon to benefit a sick friend of his.  I thought this was a great idea.  Then it occured to me that one of the biggest events in Rio Vista every year is the Relay for Life, a benefit for the American Cancer Society.  Hard on the heals of that I remembered thinking that I needed to do some kind of charity event at the dojo.  It's not important why, this is just something I really believe in.

So, we had a roll-a-thon this weekend.  My plan is to have one every year.  Or even twice a year.  It was fairly successful, I thought.

Seven kids showed up to roll.

My plan was to have them roll for a total of 30 minutes each in ten minute shifts.  That way they'd have ten minutes to catch their breath and get over any dizziness.  I estimated that each one would be able to do between 20-50 rolls over that thirty minutes.

Silly me.

They averaged 175 rolls in the first ten minutes.  Yes, they slowed down for the second ten minutes and not one of them went for the third ten minutes.  One white belt who could only manage one session and has never done much at all physical before Aikido still managed a total of 98 rolls in ten minutes.

Two of these kids exceeded 400 rolls with one at 440, the other (my son!) at 428.  These two had pledges of $.50 per roll from various people.  It's a dime next time, guaranteed.

Am I proud of these kids?  Absolutely!  But I was in shock for most of the rest of Saturday.

On the whole, Aerosmith on Sunday night was a welcome celebration.]]></body>
	<date>12-19-2006</date>
</blogEntry>

<blogEntry id="2779">
	<title><![CDATA[Fish, promotions, mats...]]></title>
	<body><![CDATA[...it's time to go to Reno.

Every year we do a demonstration at the Bass Festival (http://www.bassfestival.com) in Rio Vista.  This year was no exception.  We did our demonstration in front of the music stage in between bands, packed up our mats and went back to the dojo...

...where we then had a shodan presentation for one of my students.  He's leaving for a trip to Japan next week, so it's a good time for him to be ready.  And he was.  It's always tempting to compare presentations, especially with them being so close together (my first student to get her black belt gave her presentation this summer), but it would be apples and oranges.  The best I can say is both were excellent and both reflected the personality of the person.

But a shodan presentation during the Bass Festival attracted some attention.  We got people in to watch.  It didn't hurt that Erick's technical presentations and his randori were impressive to watch.  Of course I'll be reviewing the video tape looking for mistakes to correct (it's my job, right? :) ), but he did a great job.

Then this Saturday we had a children's promotion.  Once again, it was really great.  To really understand my pleasure in this you need to know that as late as last Monday there were five kids whose promotion was in question.  I do all the testing before the day of the promotion.  Monday was their last chance to test in time for the promotion.  Apparently my pointing this out to them the previous Thursday really [i]focused their attention[/i].

Okay, they're kids, so they're going to have issues with focus sometimes.  Nonetheless, it was more than a little gratifying to see them buckle down and get it.  Yesterday's class had an atmosphere of seriousness that I've been trying to get back to since we moved in to the new building.

And the weekends before that we were building our new mat.  1000 square feet.  Up from our old 480 square feet.  It's so spaceyouss.  For the record: canvas is much better to roll on than carpet.  And it's easier to clean.

But all of this adds up to work.  So I'm off to Reno this weekend for some...

...[URL=http://www.aikiweb.com/seminars/show_us_seminars.html?state=NV]AIKIDO!!!![/URL]

My wife says I like pain.]]></body>
	<date>10-24-2006</date>
</blogEntry>

<blogEntry id="2743">
	<title><![CDATA[Serious Martial Artists]]></title>
	<body><![CDATA[[b][u]AKA, Thugs[/u][/b]

Since starting a dojo, I've had several people come in with claims of prior training who, when they actually got on the mat, were just looking to start a fight.  Their training was clearly all about competition and, well, fighting.

It always follows the same scenario:

[list]
[*]"I came to try out Aikido.  I have some training in [i]foo bar do[/i] which is a little harder, but I want to see what this art is about.
[*]They come out on the mat with us and we start to work on kata practice.
[*]I demonstrate a technique from an attack.
[*]This person pairs off with one of my students (always a senior one, these days, I've learned from repeated occurances of this scenario) and they begin to "practice".
[*]I come over and break up the ensuing conflict.  Sometimes, if I think it's worth it, I try working with the "new student" for a bit, but not often.  Most often this person just wants to pick a fight.
[*]They get frustrated because they don't perceive what we're doing as "real".  What this really means is that it isn't UFC level competition.
[/list]

I generally try to direct them to a local BJJ dojo I know about where these kinds of attitudes get adjusted very quickly.  I'd be more inclined to spend the time with them if I could do so without alienating my other students.

These people never actually sign up, though, and I feel vaguely like they were just trying to waste my time.  Worse, they were wasting my students' time.

I don't teach fighting, I teach Aikido.

[b][u]But then there are those...[/u][/b]

...who are serious.

I had a guy stop by last night while I was working on creating dressing rooms.  This dojo building stuff is real work.  I had just smashed my thumb with a hammer (something it's been years since I've done) and was sitting on a bench "icing" it with an unopened soda can.

He has a couple of kids I hope will sign up for Aikido.   During our chat it turned out that he had some training in Jiu Jitsu during his recent time in the military.  My son had been hanging out, so I had shown him a bit of what we teach the kids.  My visitor wanted to test himself against me (first difference between him and others like this: it was about testing himself, not about testing me, still I was skeptical...).

So, with some reluctance I got on the mat with him and we played a bit.  He showed me a nikkyo he'd learned in the military.  It was good and I let him have it even though there was a tiny opening in it (honestly, I was in "teacher mode" at that point; I barely noticed the opening because I was looking for other issues).  But then I had him do it again, this time I took the opening and dropped him with a kote gaeshi (second difference: once I had the kote gaeshi on him, he went down knowing there was no hope of resistance without getting into a stupid fight).

Then I showed him the pin.  He tapped out as soon as the pin was on (third difference: he could [i]tell[/i] when the  pin was on).

[b][u]This is the way[/u][/b]

If it had gotten into a full-blown fight, he and I were pretty evenly matched and his training was about hurting people.  He showed me a technique he'd learned which was clearly designed to break a person's wrist.  It was interesting, but not useful in my training.  A full-blown fight would have been ugly and (DUH!) unproductive.

But it didn't get into a full-blown fight.  Because he had an attitude of wanting to learn.  I was able to learn from him - even in this short exchange - and he, I think, learned from me.  Certainly he was impressed enough that he wants to get his kids into training.  He's even talking about training himself.

[b][u]Money, money, money[/u][/b]

His wife came in a few minutes later with questions about cost.

Oh well.

We actually are fairly cheap, so maybe it'll be okay.  But as cheap as we are, we're not free and this is a problem for families sometimes.

[b][u]Almost made up for the hammer incident[/u][/b]

If every "challenge" I faced was like this guy, I wouldn't even mind the ones where I was outmatched.  Because I'd learn something then.  

And that could make up for smashing my finger.

I might still mind the ones where I totally outmatched the other guy, though, but probably not.  (It's interesting how the instances where I clealy outmatch the challenger are the most likely to irritate me.)]]></body>
	<date>09-18-2006</date>
</blogEntry>

<blogEntry id="2724">
	<title><![CDATA[Bureaucrats, hobgoblins and paint]]></title>
	<body><![CDATA[[b]Two steps forward, three steps back[/b]

My lease is done on my old space as of Friday.  Tomorrow will be the last class I hold there.  No classes over the weekend or on Monday and then...

...well...

...we're [i]supposed[/i] to be having classes in the new space.  If the city allows it.  Apparently they need to be sure we're an appropriate business for the space.  It's possible that they would prefer we turned it into a little antique boutique to replace the one that burned down two doors away from us*.

Probably it will be okay, but a fire inspection is definitely in order.

[b]Two steps forward, that would be one step of progress, right?[/b]

The fire department did their inspection this morning and we did okay.  There are some issues with the electrical work, but the electrician is already working on those, so it should be corrected by tomorrow.

[b]One step back, two steps forward[/b]

The electrician should have been done by now.  Why isn't he?

Well...

...his biggest customer (always follow the money...) has been keeping him really busy.  This customer has also been snarling traffic on the Rio Vista Bridge by making sure it's up at least 50% of the time lately.  Okay, maybe not 50%, but often, okay.

So...

...he hired some young adults to do some of the grunt work for him.  They took his money, but no work got done.  The rest of the story is not fit for public consumption.  The upshot is that he's got someone else in there doing the work now and it'll be done this week.

[b]One step forward, two steps back[/b]

Ordered the foam for the mats.  It'll take up to six weeks for it to ship.  That doesn't mean it will take six weeks to get here, that means it may take six weeks before it leaves the manufacturing plant.  Which would be okay if I'd been able to order it a month ago.  Which I couldn't.  Because someone at a loan company was being difficult.  And petty.

So, we'll be using the old mats for a while.

[b]Waiting on the next step[/b]

Canvas.  We need canvas.  I've got no less than three suppliers interested, two of whom are working on quotes for me.  So far, one of them is [i]only[/i] three times as much as the other one.  But the quotes are not finalized yet.

[b]The adventure continues...[/b]

Everybody who's seen the paint job loves it.  Blue with white trim.  A nice, meditative blue.  It really does make the place more pleasant to be in.

[u]Footnote[/u]

*For the record, this was really a sad situation.  This lady has had here business there for years.  She's a wonderful person.  The store had a very special charm that would be impossible to duplicate.  Part of its charm came from how long it had been there.  Someone from a nearby bar was smoking in the doorway after hours, though, and their cigarette butt rolled under the door igniting a superheated fire that destroyed the business and nearly destroyed the building.]]></body>
	<date>08-30-2006</date>
</blogEntry>

<blogEntry id="2699">
	<title><![CDATA[New Space.]]></title>
	<body><![CDATA[I signed the paperwork and got the keys this morning.

Handed over a fat check.

Going from sharing a space with a dance studio to 3000 sq feet of dedicated space.  The mat wil be at 1000 sq feet.  We'll have proper dressing rooms.  I'll have an office.  There will be a lobby.  There are windows in the front.  There will be no mirrors on the mat.  I can put up signs.

But it's going to be expensive.

Still, I think my business will grow now.  Visibility matters.  Presence matters.  My ongoing lack of visibility has created the impression that I have no presence. 

Well, I'm fixing that now.]]></body>
	<date>07-25-2006</date>
</blogEntry>

<blogEntry id="2692">
	<title><![CDATA[New Skirt]]></title>
	<body><![CDATA[Well, it's all over but the shouting.

It was a great presentation.

Now I guess I really have to get serious about my next dan rank.  She'll catch up if I'm not careful.  :-D]]></body>
	<date>07-17-2006</date>
</blogEntry>

<blogEntry id="2679">
	<title><![CDATA[The Very First One!!!!]]></title>
	<body><![CDATA[July 15, 2006.

A day for me to remember.

This is the day when I can officially call myself a Teacher of Aikido.

That's when the first of my students to earn her shodan gives her shodan presentation.

The way things are done in our school, it's pretty much a done deal.  We would not have set the date if I didn't plan on awarding the rank.  Sure, she has a couple of things to work on between now and then - not least of which is her presentation - but I have no doubt she'll do it.

I think this may be a bigger deal than my own shodan was.  At least to me.

It made me consider the good and bad of the last three years of teaching:

[list=0]
[*]Good: I have some very dedicated and talented students.
[*]Bad: I was a pretty green teacher when I fell into this dojocho role.
[*]Good: I've learned a lot and I believe I'm a much better dojocho - and teacher - than I was back then.
[*]Bad: In the process of learning I chased away a lot of good students.
[*]Good: I'm solidly established in the community.
[*]Bad: I need to do a better job of outreach.
[/list]

But, mostly, I'm happy that my student has earned her shodan.  And I have another one due in about three months.  Will he make it? I believe so, but he's not done yet.  Plus a junior shodan (different from adult shodan, but still an accomplishment) within six months.

This year is going to be a great ride.]]></body>
	<date>07-05-2006</date>
</blogEntry>

<blogEntry id="2631">
	<title><![CDATA[Aikido Hedonism]]></title>
	<body><![CDATA[I had an interesting realization this morning.  It came as a result of something I was doing last night in my regular classes.  I have some students who've reached a point in their training where I can no longer put off teaching them high (break) falls.  So, I was taking them through the steps I went through to learn them:

[list=1]
[*]Lay on the mat slapping right and left alternating.  The idea is to slap hard and learn to hit the mat as hard as you can without it being painful.  This isn't about toughening up your arm, it's about hitting the right way with your arm actually flat.  It sounds easy, but some people really struggle at this point.
[*]Throw yourself from side to side with your feet and slap as you land.  This is hard work and I discovered it's nearly as good as situps for making the muscles in your stomach tired.
[*]Forward roll with a slap. Instead of finishing the roll and coming up, slap the mat and stop.
[*]Backward roll with a slap.  Roll back and slap.
[/list]

Then comes the real challenge.  I hadn't done it in years, I realized, and I wasn't sure I still could.  But, I tried.  I threw myself forward into...

...a pretty respectable high fall.  It didn't hurt nearly as much as I feared.  My landing was a bit rusty, but mostly together.  I did it a few more times to demonstrate the point even though I knew none of my students were ready for that step.  They just
needed to see where these exercises were going.  That's really why I kept doing it.

Right.

I'm lying now and I was lying then.

Only I didn't realize it was a lie until this morning.

Here's the thing:

When I was younger (teens, early twenties) I loved to do high falls just because it was fun and [i]I could[/i].  No macho proving anything, no practical effort to protect myself.  Nope, it just felt good.  I was lighter and younger then and they didn't hurt.

They hurt a little bit now.

But they're [i]still fun![/i]  I realized last night that the pain came from being out of practice more than from being older or fatter.  And what a rush!  A little practice and the pain will stop.  I might get lighter as a result of the exercise as well.

So what else about Aikido do I do just because it feels good?  A lot of things, when I think about it:

[list=1]
[*]Wrist stretches.  Most people who know my are surprised to find that I can bend my wrists nearly double.  I've been accused of being double-jointed.  No such luck.  I've just been doing wrist stretches for so many years that it's really affected the limberness of my wrists.  Why do I do them?  To make my wrists more limber?  Well that's nice, but no.  I do them because they feel good.
[*]Several versions of kokyu nage.  If you asked me why these throws feel good I could not begin to tell you.  But they do.  Both as nage and uke.  Personally, though, I think we are dealing with kokyu manifest.
[*]Sankyo pin.  Having someone do this pin on you may be the best shoulder stretch ever invented.  I just lay there and let them stretch as far as I can.  I can just feel the muscles in my back relax and go "Aaaaahhhhhh!!!!!'.  Pain I didn't even realize I was experiencing goes away.
[/list]

And I'm betting I could ad to this list pretty much daily for the next several months if I really wanted to.  But I shouldn't think it necessary.

I'd bet I'm not alone in this.  In fact, I know that I'm not.  The realization this morning - for me - was how completely hedonistic I am in my practice of Aikido.  I also realized that the things which have always felt good are the things I've become good at.  Not a coincidence, I'm sure.

So, once again with feeling:

    "Discipline is not the enemy of fun!" - Dan Matlock

And it's corollary:

    "Fun is not the enemy of Aikido!"    - Me
]]></body>
	<date>05-16-2006</date>
</blogEntry>

<blogEntry id="2601">
	<title><![CDATA[Nobody can really teach you anything...]]></title>
	<body><![CDATA[Coming from another teacher I'd take this as a criticism.  Some teachers would mean this as "you are unteachable".  But, from this teacher I know it means that anything I learn from here on out is up to me.  My personal study is more important than what I am taught.

Sounds great, doesn't it?  Wow, [b]I've Arrived[/b]!!  I'm so cool I don't even need a teacher to learn!!

So, how come this feels like a huge letdown?

Maybe it's because this doesn't really mean I have nothing to learn from anyone, it's just that going to class and going through the motions isn't going to be enough anymore.  Or that it means that the really hard work has now begun.  Or that I don't 100% agree with his assesment.

There are so many holes in my training.  There is no doubt that I've accomplished a lot in the last five years that I've been steadily training.  It even appears that I accomplished more in the intervening years when I'd stopped training than I would have expected.  Apparently, I can learn on my own pretty well.

But I learn what I know how to learn.

There has to be some kind of foundation, something for me to practice and refine.

Most of the "holes" in my training are holes because there is no foundation.  So I have to find ways to build that foundation.  One of these holes, weapons training, turns out to be relatively easy to work on.  Others are harder.

Meanwhile, I need to find ways to keep my regular training going and improve on the stuff I do know.  All this while keeping up my teaching.

I guess the real truth is that I don't need [b]a[/b] teacher, I need several of them.  But even then, it's all up to me to integrate what I'm learning and become my own aikidoka.

It's an exciting place to be in my training.  It also scares the tar out of me.  If I succeed I get to take all the credit.  If I fail I have no one to blame but myself.
]]></body>
	<date>04-17-2006</date>
</blogEntry>

<blogEntry id="2546">
	<title><![CDATA[Student exceeds the teacher?]]></title>
	<body><![CDATA[I suppose I should be gratified, and I am.  But faintly disturbed as well.

I have two fairly senior students.  Both are dedicated practitioners of Aikido.  The other day I had them doing a Jiyu Waza in which my instructions were to not think of each other as uke or nage, but simply do their best to throw each other.  I was looking for them to challenge each other and do so without getting into the spirit of competition.

They were [b]really[/b] good!  I watched, they did the Jiyu Waza.  They challenged each other.  The pushed their own limits.  They threw each other around.  They smiled the whole time.  The achieved a level that I knew I was incapable of.

Hang on.

I can't do what they just did.

It is, in fact, a limitation in my Aikido which has been bugging me for almost a year now.  I've been working on it, but I've also been nursing a knee injury which has prevented me from working on much of anything.

Still...

They did that better than I could.

Certainly, there are some things about Aikido - a lot of them - that I understand and can do better than either of them.  But in this one area, they've both surpassed me.  And I taught them how to do that.

How'd I do that?

I minded of an old expression whose attribution I've long since forgotten:

"The faults we recognize in others are often a reflection of our own self-knowledge".

I wonder if this is why these two are so good at something that I'm struggling with.  Because I can spot when they are struggling with it because of my own personal struggles.  On the one hand this would be comforting.  Of course they will exceed me here.  On the other hand, what does this say about my own personal development?

Maybe now that my knee is finally (mostly) healed I need to get serious about fixing this problem.

Okay, but I know I can't do that with my students.  It's too easy when I'm throwing them around, even if they don't just take the falls for me.  I know them too well.  I know their reactions.  I can anticipate anything they will do.  It's something I've realized is inevitably going to happen with a teacher and his students.

I guess this means I need to find some other black belts to play with.  Yep, that's it.  What a good excuse to increase my training schedule!

(Now, if I could just stop getting injured and sick long enough to actually do that. :) )]]></body>
	<date>03-15-2006</date>
</blogEntry>

<blogEntry id="2529">
	<title><![CDATA[But this is a martial art, right?]]></title>
	<body><![CDATA[I got a call from a prospective student yesterday.  I wouldn't like to give the impression that this guy was being difficult, he wasn't.  But he asked a question I get all too often:

"Is this one of those soft art schools?  I want something real."

[b][u]Define Real[/u][/b]

This question always causes me grief.  The definition of "real" is slippery at best.

[i][u]Self Defense[/u][/i]

I have students who've defended themselves using Aikido.  I've defended myself using Aikido.  I've been in situations where my attitude caused people not to attack me and I attribute this to my Aikido training.

Is that real?

[i][u]Fighting[/u][/i]

Didn't I talk about this before?  Maybe, but here it is again.

Aikido isn't about fighting.  At best it's about resolving the conflict so that everybody walks away friends.  That isn't always possible, but at least it's possible that everyone walks away alive and relatively unhurt.  The other guy may be fighting, but I'm not.

Is that real?

[i][u]Competition[/u][/i]

Competitions are set up to follow certain rules and last for a certain amount of time either determined by chronology or points or some other arbitrary measurement.  The competitive mindset screws up any chance of using Aikido effectively, at least for me.

So, competition, is that real?

[b][u]Real life on the mat[/u][/b]

Can you duplicate real life conflict on the mat?  I don't think so.  People would get hurt or killed.  You lose more students that way.

So how does this prepare you for "real life" conflict?  Does it?

Well, it must, or at least the evidence suggests as much.  People have used it effectively.  More than once.  But how does that happen?

[i][u]Movement Training[/u][/i]

First of all, a lot of the training is learning how to move your body in effective ways.  This has value in itself.  I've seen many people just freeze or flail their arms around innefectually in the face of any attack.  With a very little training they start to just move in more effective ways.


[i][u]Attitude Training[/u][/i]

Also, there is the whole thing that you can learn to be confident that you [b]can[/b] handle the situation.  Just being able to address the situation without panic or mental defeat means you are more likely to defend yourself than allow yourself to be beat up.

This is only the beginning, though.  A confident attitude will often cause people to reconsider their aggression before they attack.  Sometimes this is simple fear, but more often they take your confidence as a good reason to question their own position.  If you react with fear or aggression, they have no reason to question whether they are right.  As soon as they question their own motives, they often back down either deciding they had it wrong or that it isn't worth the conflict regardless.  This has happened to me far more often than having to resolve a physical conflict using Aikido.

What's more, that confidence and non-combatitive attitude will help in non-martial situations as well.  Meetings with obstinate co-workers can go a lot more smoothly if you start with the right attitude.  Entering and helping someone to understand your own position, or even making the effort to understand their position usually works better than hostile confrontation.  Even when confrontation is needed, hostility isn't.

[i][u]Making the decision[/u][/i]

People who are faced with a physical conflict who don't defend themselves often have never thought about what they would do if they were placed in such a position.  It's not a case of being unwilling or uninterested, they just don't believe it will ever matter.  Sometimes the single most important thing people do when they start training is to decide that they [b]will[/b] defend themselves beyond throwing their hands up in an attempt to ward off their attacker.

Of course, there are also the pathological cases where someone believes that defending themselves will only make things worse.  And sometimes it will.   But allowing yourself to be beat on repeatedly because you are afraid the problem will get worse isn't the right answer either.  Maybe Aikido can help with that, although I think there may be other issues which need addressing there.

[b][u]Yep, this is a "soft" art[/u][/b]

If you want to learn how to beat people up, there's a local dojo for another art where they frequently brag about teaching people to do just that.  They're rough and tough and people get injured there a lot.  Nobody who trains there is over the age of 40.

Me, I'll stick to something that works for me, has worked for me and doesn't lead to broken bones - mine or the other guys.


[i]Edited because one of the comments I got made me realize I'd left out some stuff I'd meant to say.[/i]]]></body>
	<date>03-01-2006</date>
</blogEntry>

<blogEntry id="2518">
	<title><![CDATA[Aikido Faith]]></title>
	<body><![CDATA[I teach in a community where religion plays a major role in the lives of many of its residents.  As a result, I've been forced to consider the relationship between religion and Aikido on a level where I'd rather not have had to go.  Still, it's been an interesting journey.

I left a dojo years ago partly because of the emphasis they placed on Zen training.  A lot of people argue about whether Zen is religion, but Zen is rooted in Buddhism and Buddhism is religion even if it isn't in the same vain as some other religions.  It isn't that I have a problem with Zen, but I don't subscribe to it and it isn't what Aikido is about to me.

Later, in a discussion on Aikido-L I discovered I have a bit of a chip on my shoulder about the whole Zen-Aikido connection some people feel compelled to make.

In addition, there have been way too many discussions on the forums here about Aikido and religion.  So I've spent a lot of time thinking about it.   More than I wanted to.

So, the issue comes down to two things in my experience:

1) Is Aikido Religion.  This one is easy for me to answer.  No.  But the issue of the spirituality of Aikido eventually surfaces.  To me, the short answer is that your faith must be a factor in your training, but I, as a teacher, cannot impose my faith on you.  If I had established the dojo as a faith-based dojo things would be different.  But it's a secular dojo, so your religion is your business as far as I'm concerned.

2) Idolatry.  The Shomen looks like an idol being worshipped to many religious people.  This is not so easily addressed.  For one thing, I've known people in Aikido who are every bit as guilty of that sort of idolatry as the religious types are concerned about.  So I can't say it never happens.

But, is that what I encourage?

No.

Even the picture of O'Sensei isn't about worship.  It is about respect and gratitude.  Maybe part of the discipline learned in Aikido is learning to be respectful and grateful without being worshipful.

The question always gets asked, "What about the bowing in ceremony?"

It's just a promise.  A promise to train in sincerity.  To follow the rules of etiquette and safety.  To help fellow students train in sincerity and safety.  To learn and help others learn.  It is a solemn and important promise, but it's just a promise after all.  The shomen provides a focus, but it isn't the object of the promise.  The instructor and your fellow students are the object of the promise.

It's interesting how sensitive some of the most deeply religious people can be about this.  But, not all of them, or even most of them are.  Some of those who are very sensitive on this subject seem unsure of their own faith.  I don't know how to help them, or even if I should try.
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	<date>02-21-2006</date>
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<blogEntry id="2491">
	<title><![CDATA[Kill, kill, kill -- NOT!]]></title>
	<body><![CDATA[I wrote the following in private blog I maintain and realized it's as good a place as any to start an Aikido blog.  Entries here are likely to be infrequent and mostly of the me-on-my-soapbox nature.  I hope someone gets something worthwhile out of them besides me.  Mostly, though, I just feel the need to say it.

So, this is the first pontification:

A big part of my reason for training in Aikido - as opposed to other arts - is the non-violence that is inherent in its foundations.

First of all, I am not naturally a violent person.  But I learned to be violent in a way which is pretty appalling on sober reflection.  As a result it's very easy for me to become violent very quickly.  But, because my nature doesn't support it, it's very hard for me to live with later.

So, Aikido has given me tools to work against the violence I've learned.

But, that's just me.

I frequently run into people who not only don't understand the value of non-violence, the actively oppose it.  They truly believe that the way to a better world is by perpetuating a level of violent confrontation that is difficult for me to even understand.  They teach this to their children.  They get very angry when I point out the problems with this approach.

Recently:

[B][U]Teaching our children to fight[/U][/B]

I have a co-worker who was talking about teaching his daughter to hit hard in defending herself.  I pointed out that I have students and former students who have defended themselves and not gotten into trouble with school because [b]they[/b] didn't become violent.  I pointed out that she was vulnerable to being kicked out of school for using her ability to hit.  He replied that he would have no problem changing her school in that case.  So I asked what I thought was the obvious question: isn't it better just to avoid the hassle.  She shouldn't have to change schools because someone attacked her.  If she can defend herself in a way which avoids being a part of the fight, she gets to be safe and still stay in school.  He didn't buy it.

[B][U]The source of the bully[/U][/B]

Then he tells me the story of his daughter knocking people down and beating on them for fun.  Isn't that just being a bully?  My reply was that this was an excellent reason all by itself for kids to learn to defend themselves without violence.

[B][U]Why bother?[/U][/B]

Of course I will not convince him.  That really isn't my purpose.  But there were other people listening to the story.  I hope they will think about my points and take them to heart.  Maybe they won't.  But I find myself increasingly unable to tolerate people advocating violence. Maybe I'm being intolerant by doing so, but is it reasonable to let it slide? [b]Is it okay to just allow advocates of violence to go unchallenged?[/b]

I can't believe it is. I believe we have a responsibility to express ourselves if we truly believe that non-violence is a [b]Good Idea[/b].]]></body>
	<date>02-09-2006</date>
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