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<blogEntry id="3419">
	<title><![CDATA[Get out of the way]]></title>
	<body><![CDATA[Get out of the way

The last bit of any technique which ends with uke falling: get out of the way.  Take shomenuchi kotegaishe for example.  Get off line, steppin to about 90 of uke’s line. Blend brushing nearest hand down uke’s arm to his wrist, draw him down into slightly over extended forward.  Keep his center in front of yours, tenkon: he is depending  on you  for balance.  Maintain your own extension to keep his wrist, elbow, shoulder locked.   Cut across and down  uke’s center , just when he starts to move, get out of the way by stepping forward foot back and turning hips.

If you do everything right, but you don’t get out of the way, well, it’s not a throw.  Gravity can’t act on uke because you’re blocking the way.  

There’s an interesting analogy there.  

Seems like the whole idea, or at least a primal concept of aikido is to take uke’s balance such that gravity has its way.  Thus, uke really throws himself, I only facilitate the process.  In fact, when we add dynamic movement to technique – which we are now doing more of towards the end of class – uke’s own momentum and off-balanced-ness (not sure how else to phrase that) puts most, if not all, the intensity on the joint lock or the projection.

So often in life I need to get out of the way.  Sometimes it’s an issue of letting someone else do it.  This is more like training with a friend at the dojo.  My son needs to clean the kitchen himself, his own way; if I stay in the way and do it, he will never learn.  Other adults in my son’s Cub Scout pack need to take responsibility for activities:  if I do it all, they won’t have ownership, I’ll burn out, and the pack will suffer for it.   In order to attain my goal of strengthening the other, I have to get out of the way.

However, Budo is not so much about conflict with the outside world, as it is about conflict within oneself.  So when I encounter the garbage in my own heart – fear of failure, perfectionism, apathy, selfishness – how does this principle apply.  Get out of the way: unbalance your opponent and let greater forces have their way.

I think the writer of Hebrews has something to add to this discussion.  He wrote that we should be diligent to enter into God’s rest.  Now, the context of all this is explaining the significance of Jesus identity, death and resurrection to an audience who thought in terms of the revelation of Moses and the prophets whom God had sent beforehand.    The two references made to rest in that context are: 1) God rested on the 7th day, having fully completed the work of creation.  2) God provided a place of rest – the promised land—for the children of Israel which they initially refused to enter.    By this parallelism, the writer effectively equates :  1) Jesus’ finished work of atonement on the cross with God’s finished work of creation;   2) the option each individual has to accept or reject that provision with the choice the children of Israel had to enter Cannan.

To my mind, entering into this rest is a lot like getting out of the way.  I stop trying to muscle things thru, and instead rely on an outside force which is always present, always dependable (gravity).   In terms of who I am, how I make sense of this world, what to do about death  -- I have already gotten out of the way and accepted Jesus’ finished work to apply.  But the writer of Hebrews goes on (and this is where those stupid chapter breaks or paragraph headings really hinder a thoughtful reading).  He says “THEREFORE … let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.” 
 
My time of need is when I am being attacked.  When my fear of failure paralyzes me.  When my insecurity drives me away from relationships.  When my selfishness  denies others what God would provide thru me.  When my enemy accuses me of hypocrisy and deceit.   No doubt about it, this is the time I need to struggle and overcome.  Aikido suggests I should apply the knowledge I have and then GET OUT OF THE WAY.  

Is this passivisim?  Not at all.  Getting out of the way so that uke can fall is a very deliberate action.  You have to discern where  how to move, and then effectively do so.  Getting out of the way spiritually, ie – entering God’s rest in order to receive mercy and find grace – is also a deliberate choice of direction and movement.  We first fix out attention on Jesus and then move in the direction of grace.]]></body>
	<date>01-18-2009</date>
</blogEntry>

<blogEntry id="3394">
	<title><![CDATA[animal or mineral?]]></title>
	<body><![CDATA[Sensei seems to have been doing a lot of reflection on his goals as a teacher, lately.  Our classes have gone from being  a series of 4 to 6 inter-related techniques down to 2 or maybe 3 with a lot of attention to detail, blending, technique.  It doesn't feel as physically demanding (although my fitness has come a long way this year, so maybe it's more a function of that), but it's harder too.  
Sometimes I feel like a stone with water pouring over it.  I get wet, but nothing sinks in.  I have to let go of frustration and move slowly, not out-pace my ability to feel uke's balance, to lead and stay close, keep control, move uke around my center.

Cross hand grab.  Lead with the fingers, roll palm up (heaven), take uke's balance.  Step in close, cut down to center.  Roll the ball between the hands as hips turn back across uke's center.  Uke falls.

Cross hand grab.  Lead with fingers, roll palm up (heaven), take uke's balance.  Step in close, cut down to center.  Slide in a bit continue the circle, start uke moving THEN tenkon. Spiral uke down to pin with center.  

This is what we did for most of the class.  Right hand, until we got it at least once, left hand the same, switch.  And it was a good class.  I learned a lot:  that I do know something, that there is a lot I have to master.  So much of everything else will fall into place when this becomes smooth.

Maybe, then it's not so bad to be a rock under the waterfall.  Maybe I can never hope to be a sponge, just a rock.  A rock that shows up and sits under the waterfall, day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year-  until the water has shaped me.]]></body>
	<date>12-09-2008</date>
</blogEntry>

<blogEntry id="3387">
	<title><![CDATA[evasion and blending]]></title>
	<body><![CDATA[&#8195;
Learning a martial art means not only shaping physical behaviors, but also changing mental and emotional reactions.  Apart from any kind of training, my first, most natural reaction to sudden conflict is fear; sometimes causing me to freeze, sometimes to lash out, sometimes to run away.  The success of any of these reactions is mostly dependant on luck, so any martial art must also address mental and emotional condition in the first moments before contact is even made between combatants.  In my experience of Aikido, two particular concepts are taught that address our need for successful resolution of conflict; evasion and blending.    Evading an attack is an obvious goal to any seeking training;  not getting hit is a good goal.  Blending seems much riskier, even counter-intuitive.  Technique-wise, it  certainly takes long years of  diligent training to master.   So before going too far down that path, it seems a good question to consider:  what is the difference between evading and blending, and is blending a superior approach?

Learning to evade an attack is not necessarily an easy thing.    Being able to react without fear, flinching or panic to a weapon swinging with speed and force at your body, particularly your face, is not natural.  It takes time to learn timing, to be able to judge the direction and speed of a strike.  You can't move the same way to evade a round-house and a straight in punch.  As for the panic factor, well, it takes more than a couple of good bruises to learn that getting hit (at least by your training partner) isn't as bad as you thought it would be; you survive and dust yourself off and get back in again.   Fear gives way to determination that you won't get caught again.  Panic becomes a reason to breathe and focus.  The limitation of evasion as an end goal is that it leaves your opponent free to continue the attack.  Odds are good that even if you manage to get out of the way for the first five minutes, eventually you will make a mistake and uke will connect.  Anyone who has practiced randori knows this as a fact.  This leads to the conclusion that evasion is just the beginning, not the end of our training.  

 "Blending" in English at least, communicates the idea of a kind of union between two separate things.  I tend to think of musical metaphors,  as if I am tuning my body to match uke's .  Like evasion, one has to be sensitive to uke's intent, timing and the direction of her force.  However, in blending, one has to take in uke's energy/intent to one's center -- grounding into a pin, or extending into a throw.  This always seems to necessitate close physical contact with uke.  Becoming the center of her balance, controlling her posture, supporting her balance until the time for a pin or throw comes around.  If I hold nage far from my center, at arm's length so to speak, I cannot control her center.  So as nage, I accept the momentum and force that uke offers in her attack.  I stay close, lead uke to give up her center and substitute my own .   Then when I take away my support, uke falls.  In fact, the stronger the attack, the more energy is at my disposal for a hard throw.  

So while evading an attack is an important skill, it is only a starting point.  In fact, learning to blend involves unlearning many of the evasion reactions that have become ingrained over the initial phases of training.  One may conclude that the entire evasion phase is largely a time to learn to overcome the fear and panic of being under attack.   I am coming to realize that I have only  very rudimentary understanding of blending.  The way I touch uke in Nikkyo can be blending only if I touch in a way that is non-threatening;    accepting uke, offering no threat to resist, yet taking control of the center.    Every point of contact is a opportunity to instill calm.  I think this is very analogous to how  a parent holds a child who is in the middle of a tantrum.  The child is irrational, seeking to lash out.  The parent must exert control, yet not instill fear or escalate the tantrum.   This is a much more subtle art.  The physical technique in this case is really only a vessel, the content has to come from the heart.]]></body>
	<date>11-20-2008</date>
</blogEntry>

<blogEntry id="3378">
	<title><![CDATA[The weakest part of the body]]></title>
	<body><![CDATA[*warning: christian content :D *

[B]Katatatori Nikkyo[/B]:  offer target, palm down.  Trap hand and adjust center slightly offline, along uke's forward shoulder.  Reconnect center with Uke's center, Polishing  the mirror clockwise, at a 15 degree ascension off horizontal, brushing uke's forearms with fingertips. [B]LEAD WITH FINGERTIPS [/B]Roll Uke's forearm to center.  Look for sweet bend in wrist, forearm parallel to floor.  If projecting or moving to tekon, put Nikkyo on just enough to kink out hip.  Otherwise continue to roll to center, moving out of the way so Uke has room to fall.

So last night the entire key for me was to lead from my fingertips instead of pushing with my wrist.  The latter leads to total failure of Nikkyo.  A few times I managed to lead with my fingertips, and a huge difference was felt by both myself and Uke.  Why is it so difficult to do that?   I often feel like I'm trying to dial in a radio station, but the tuning knob moves too fast and I keep whizzing past the station.    Kokyuho is the same thing.  In swariwaza, sweep the mat with your fingertips, and uke cannot resist.  Try to force uke's hands to the mat and we'll be there all night trying to make THAT work (ugh).
For some reason I am compelled to reflect on Pauls comments about the Body of Christ.  In 2 Cor 12 he writes: 
[INDENT]"18 But our bodies have many parts, and God has put each part just where he wants it. 19 How strange a body would be if it had only one part! 20 Yes, there are many parts, but only one body. 21 The eye can never say to the hand, "I don't need you." The head can't say to the feet, "I don't need you." 
 22 In fact, some parts of the body that seem weakest and least important are actually the most necessary. 23 And the parts we regard as less honorable are those we clothe with the greatest care. So we carefully protect those parts that should not be seen, 24 while the more honorable parts do not require this special care. So God has put the body together such that extra honor and care are given to those parts that have less dignity. 25 This makes for harmony among the members, so that all the members care for each other. 26 If one part suffers, all the parts suffer with it, and if one part is honored, all the parts are glad. 
 27 All of you together are Christ's body, and each of you is a part of it. [/INDENT]
You know, fingertips do seem like one of the weakest parts of the body.   They can't grasp anything strongly, they are inconstant danger from getting pinched or bashed.  In fact, if coercion thru pain is a goal, the fingertips are most often the target as one of the weakest links in the body.   So on a very primal level, if I want to influence uke strongly, my fingertips are the last part of my body that I would expect to be useful.  
I'm not sure exactly what implication this has for the Body of Christ.  It's always dangerous to extend a metaphor past its intended boundaries.   The body is an illustration of the concept that each Christian in the local gathering of believers (ekklesia: church) has a specific role or ministry, and a particular combination of natural talents and spiritual gifts to carry it out.  Paul's emphasis is that all members of the body are necessary, and that God arranges the body so that extra honor and protection to those that need it in order for the members to live in harmony and take care of each other.  
Perhaps the thing to think  about is how we treat a brother or sister in the body who are sensitive but usually active serving others, yet easily hurt.  If they were fingertips, we'd wear gloves while doing yard work, or working in rough circumstances.  Perhaps instead of telling people to "suck it up" we ought to be more protective and supportive so that they can be part of the action.  Then when we are in situations that require sensitivity and finesse, our "fingertips" will be functional, not scared, calloused and nub (or even chopped-off).  
In Aikido, my physical metaphor for spiritual life, it's all about staying calm and centered, and trusting technique instead of strength.  And I think Paul would say, it's the same with our lives in Christ.  Stay calm (trust in God), centered (abide in Christ), and walk in love, not power.
[INDENT]1 If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn't love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God's secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn't love others, I would be nothing. 3 If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it;[a] but if I didn't love others, I would have gained nothing. 
 4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. 
 8 Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages[b] and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever!
So, lead with my fingertips.  Learn to touch uke in such a way as to not threaten, but still protect myself and control the encounter.[/INDENT]  
Calm.  
Center.  
Blend.  
Breathe.
Lead with your fingertips.]]></body>
	<date>11-07-2008</date>
</blogEntry>

<blogEntry id="3371">
	<title><![CDATA[speedbumps...]]></title>
	<body><![CDATA[Well, I suppose I am in a training "trough" as opposed to a "peak" this month.  

It seems like my rolls are lumpy, I keep forgetting to tuck my chin on back fall, and I thump my knees when practicing shikko.

It all started in September, when the yudansha started leaning on me when I took too long to complete shionage. It's kind of humiliating to be used as a leaning post :crazy:  Perhaps I lost my center when I started to get frustrated about that, because everything just started to go south after that.  

Part of me gets that this is the end of the beginning and the percursor to REALLY beginning.  I have a lot of the vocabulary, I know how things "should" go, I can see and feel more about how things go.  But I can't reliably pull things off on a consistant basis.  Yet.

We just spent two classes this week on iikyo.  Part of me feels like a kid with a broken toy.  :blush:  It isn't working.  I know it's time to quit at the end of class, but I can't help wishing I could spend just 30 more min, but then knowing that it's more a matter of letting what we practiced in class "sink in" doing what I can at home to "walk thru" the technique, and then coming to the next class with a fresh body and a mind clear of frustrations/expectations.

On the upside, I'm acting as sempai for class a few times a month when Brian isn't there.  Thursday we were projecting a throw from iikyo, almost a kitieinage throw.  I swear, it's the first time I wish I had taken a breakfall -- Sensei converts 100% of my momentum plus his into ikkyo.  *tski - :eek:  WHUMP :dead: *

After writing this, and thinking about the last couple of weeks, I suppose I'd have to say that the biggest speedbump I'm hitting is my ego.  :blush: 

:ai: 
:ki: 
:do:]]></body>
	<date>11-01-2008</date>
</blogEntry>

<blogEntry id="3368">
	<title><![CDATA[Training snapshot: day 4]]></title>
	<body><![CDATA[So, today started out as walk the dog, but it was so nice out and I really did feel like stretching my legs a bit.  The dog walk turned into my workout.

1 mi "interval" training: mostly walk, some: jog, high step, run.
2 sets sit-ups: 15 crunch, 15 left, 15 right, 15 reverse
2 sets 15 45-degree-angle push ups
a bit of tsai subaki and hapkunundo
1 mi walk/jog

Class last night was good.  Looks like we have a new student.  Practicing yoga yesterday reminded me to be patient with myself, and as I was driving to the dojo, I started thinking and praying about that old catichism question: what is the chief end of man? response: to know God and enjoy Him forever.  

Reminded me that the "chief" end of Aikido (for me anyway) is not about rank or even achieving mastery.  After all, there's no guarentee that I'll ever "get anywhere"  - the old, "you could get hit by a bus tomorrow" thing.    The chief end for me is to enjoy the integration of mind and body.  

OK, that sounds really aikikai.  No offense, Aikikai is an honerable style, but it's not mine.   I am studying a "harder" form, and I love the physicality of it; the martial effectiveness brings it on like a force of nature.]]></body>
	<date>10-24-2008</date>
</blogEntry>

<blogEntry id="3366">
	<title><![CDATA[Training snapshot: day 3]]></title>
	<body><![CDATA[Ok, well it looks like day 3 is a "down" day.  Between working hard with Erica Tesday and being "demo" uke that night in class, I am still sore.

Training today consists of about 45 min midday stretching and trying some yoga:  Sun salute, gate, boat, bharadvaja's pose 1, locust, camel, plow.

Class tonight, too.

I suppose I shouldn't be too dissappointed, after all I'm doing ALOT more than I was this time last year.  At 45, I'm just not going to change my body as quickly as I could at 25.]]></body>
	<date>10-23-2008</date>
</blogEntry>

<blogEntry id="3364">
	<title><![CDATA[Training snapshot: day 2]]></title>
	<body><![CDATA[today is cardio:

swimming: 1K total, in sets of 100 m, free style, cruise 

my cruise now is about 3min, so that's about 35 min worth of swimming.

So last night I was senior student, and "demo uke".  The swimming has given me enough conditioning to end the class without becoming a mouth-breather.  :D  At sea-level.  Denver is going to require a bit more, I suspect. :crazy:]]></body>
	<date>10-22-2008</date>
</blogEntry>

<blogEntry id="3363">
	<title><![CDATA[Training snapshot: day 1]]></title>
	<body><![CDATA[ok, back to the origional purpose of this blog; to keep focused.  I promised myself I would post a week of workouts, just to have a benchmark.  But I asked myself, can I stay honest and actually DO what I posted.  So, I'll post 6 consecutive days, starting with today and use that as a snapshot for my workout records.

So today:
am -- strength training with Erica:
free leg press: (45 lbs, 15 reps) x 3
1 leg stand up: (12 each leg) x 2
Nitro incline press: (20 lbs, 12 reps) x3
push ups (knees): 10, pos., 5 negatives
nitro shoulder press: (20 lbs, 12 reps) x3
knee raises: 12 x3
back extension: 15 x2
reverse crunch: 12 x 2 

pm: Aikido class]]></body>
	<date>10-21-2008</date>
</blogEntry>

<blogEntry id="3338">
	<title><![CDATA[By Grace Alone]]></title>
	<body><![CDATA[Med -- I couldn't help myself.  I liked your poem so much I had to try my hand at it.  This is not meant to be in competiton with, or a rebuttle to yours -- just an exploration of my aikido.

:ai: Harmony with Love
Submit my will, my desires,
to the Lover of my soul.
Grace, all sufficient, balances everything.

:ki: Creator's Breath, Starwind
Co-mingled with my breath.
Inhale: I am made brighter than any star.
Exhale: Your grace offered to the world.

:do: Revelation in Mercy
Each step faithfully guided.
My blindness diminished by Light.
My legs strengthened by Grace.

The Wind lifts my wings to flight
Following the path older than stars.
All obstacles naught  but refining fire:
Love restores my harmony.  I am home.]]></body>
	<date>09-11-2008</date>
</blogEntry>

<blogEntry id="3331">
	<title><![CDATA[Prescott Fall Aikido Bridge Camp]]></title>
	<body><![CDATA[Well, just back from fall camp.  Things must have gone well, because I'm only wearing one brace (left knee) ;) .    The folks from Arizona Aikido did a great job setting everything up.  And the weather couldn't have been better.

The experience of training with so many different people was great, but what did I take away?  I guess time will tell, has MY aikido changed?  Have I made progress that I wouldn't have realized if I had stayed home?

Everything was basics, something everyone, yudansha and mudansha can relate to and integrate more deeply into their aikido.  From Sakakibara Sensei, I learned, "First your body moves, then your hand."  We worked from static with only ki to keep uke connected.  Next year I'm definitly going for the full camp (arrive thursday pm, train a full day Friday) .  As I look back on it,  think I was too excited and full of my own strength to really get the most out of his class.  Veneziano Sensei spoke alot about finding the spiral in uke and following it.  And if you think that might lead to a soft a twirly class, think again because, man, that lady runs a TOUGH class :D .  In weapons in the afternoon, she taught a Bo kata adjusted for Jo, which I've already mostly forgotten :blush: .  Well, I'll search for it on the web, maybe someone's posted the moves.  During that class, most eveyone was in the main hall taking Sodeman Sensei's ukemi class.  I probably should have been there too (ukemi is where I really do need to focus on improving), but I just couldn't resist the idea of playing with weapons with Veneziano Sensei :o .    Ikeda Sensei taught twice on Saturday, -- bokken in the morning, on the mat in the afternoon.  Now I'm a relative newbie, I knew a bit of Ikeda's reputation (didn't recognize him when I came to dinner Friday, feeling kinda mortified by that...) and now I know why people speak of him that way.  He is a very gifted teacher.  He speaks with quiet authority, but with passion and encouragement, and it always feels like he's speaking directly to YOU.   So, Ikeda Senesi, what did I lean from you this weekend?  I learned that I must value static training (which, it's true I do tend to dis it) because it reveals where my technique is weak; where I use strength or momentum to compensate for MY weakness.  I will remember that without technique it all comes down to a wrestling match, which (being female) I generally won't win.  I will remember to make every time perfect.  Every cut, every tenkon, every waza -- whether I am practicing with someone my junior or my senior.  Oh yes, and change myself.  Change myself to take uke's balance, not change uke, or my circumstances. It's going to take a long time to learn to move my center/ki/one point the way he does (if ever... BIG if ever).  But change myself -- I can remember that in many different areas of life.  "That's Budo," he said. 

So now I'm feeling spent, sore, and wish I were on the mat.  It's always hard for me to leave the mountain top and return to everyday life.   I wish I could study Bokken that way every day... sigh.  I guess I'm going to have to look harder for a training partner.

I'm making plans to go again next year, and stay for the entire camp.   What will I do differently next time...  I need to be more agressive at finding a training partner on the mat.  Plop down next to my chosen uke (one of the yudansha of course) and make eye contact after we rei before he/she can get away ;) .  Sort of an extension of the principle of controling the encounter before uke moves :D .I would prefer to bring someone from my home dojo too, but that's not really in my control.  I wonder if I should consider what burning question I would like to hear answered/explained/demonstrated and make a nusience of myself with the senior teachers.  I AM hungry.  I just struggle with insecurity/pride.  Insecurity in that I don't feel important enough to take up their time.  Pride in that I don't want to be percieved as an annioying pest.  I guess I'm going to have to decide if I am hungry enough to risk humiliation and rejection. :crazy:  I have a suspicion that THAT's part of Budo too.]]></body>
	<date>09-08-2008</date>
</blogEntry>

<blogEntry id="3323">
	<title><![CDATA[Living with Martial Intent]]></title>
	<body><![CDATA[So this morning (Sunday), I was at the park with Sensei and another senior student, for a "study group".  Both of them are studying Kyu Shu (spelling?) and get together to practice outside of class once a month.  They invited me (YES :D  , another opportunity to train!) so there I am, too.  It's very interesting, and adds another layer on Aikido in terms of atemi and precision in blending and directing energy.  

At the end of our session, I managed to end up face down in the grass, basically pinned, unbeknownst to us, my right hand smack on top of an ant's nest.  Hmmm, I thought, the grass is itchier than ususal, I look over and my hand is covered. :eek:   

So as I was driving home with my hand shoved into a large carryout cup filled with ice :uch:  , I was thinking about WHY do I do this.  Not really doubting my own commitment, but wondering how I can possibly explain why to someone else.  
I don't expect that I will ever run into a situation where I need MA to survive.  I mean, it could happen, but physical conflict isn't part of my job, as it would be for a police officer, for example.   There are many reasons why I am addicted to Aikido, but the reason that supplies the most drive to my commitment is that I find a reflection of my spiritual life in the physical discipline of Aikido. 

And that led me to start thinking about the idea of [B]martial intent[/B].   We'd been talking about that a lot this morning, because many of the pressure points we'd been practicing striking are a bit under a set of muscles.  You have to strike with intent in order for uke to even tell whether you are hitting the right spot with the right angle etc…or not.   Without martial intent, nothing really works. 

So I wondered, do I apply martial intent in my prayer?  Do I just fluff along when I pray, or do I bring my mind, my will my attention to bear on the issue, am I seeking the Lord with a fierceness of spirit?  I am thinking of the times when Jesus left the distractions of the crowd to pray.   Or am I alert to the issues of spiritual warfare and able to intervene decisively when a martial response is called for?  As Paul wrote, "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.   I think there's a principle here; that many of the powers and forces that we wage battle against cannot me touched by fluffy prayer, but only by prayer with martial intent.  This bears some more thinking on, and I feel like I only just understand a tiny bit on this…

And this leads to another issue; ministry.  Not that I'm suggesting that we should approach ministry with martial intent; that would communicate the wrong message (ya think?).  But intent, that's a key ingredient.  Ministry doesn't just happen.  You don't just fall out of bed and bam, you've taught a spiritual truth.  You have to study with the intent of being edifying -- the teacher asks, what do they need to know, and how can I communicate it to them.  Or walk past someone and oops, you encouraged them.  You have to invest, spend time listening, thinking, praying; all the time thinking, Lord, how can I strengthen their faith, how can I lift up their spirit?  And then when you're together, you have to focus your attention and spirit outside yourself, listening to them, to the Holy Spirit.   Intentionality.  As people  fully committed to  following Jesus, taking seriously his only command (love one another as I have loved you), we can't afford to be spacey, because not only will we get sucker-punched by the enemy, [I]but we also will fail to have any noticeable effect in our ministry. [/I]]]></body>
	<date>08-24-2008</date>
</blogEntry>

<blogEntry id="3314">
	<title><![CDATA[I like my noodles with broth...]]></title>
	<body><![CDATA[It's odd to be a senior student while I still haven't earned any rank in my new dojo.  We have a new crop of students, most of whom have n MA experience at all.  

Class was very satisfying in one sense:  Sensei used me as demo uke.  And there was even another black belt in the class.  WOW, I am still sore.  But I feel good in that I think my ukemi is continuing to improve.  It was really fun to be tossed around (you know you're an aikido addict when you bounce up and say  "do it again, do it again!")  I'm trying to track down the name of the last technique we studied :  two hand grab, tenkon, lead low, then circle arm counter-wise, give uke a bit of support with free hand in small of back then take it away and arimi with another piviot (pivot on front, kick back foot back and around).  Sweet.  Very fun one that.

On the other hand I had to deal with alot of plain noodles.  Noodle arms are impossible to do static starts with.  :yuck:  I've been more threatened by static cling...  The new students... well no energy to work with.  Plus I  suspect two of the new men were avoiding partnering with me.  Well, I'll give them the benifit of the doubt.  I'll be sure to plop down next to them tonight.  evileyes 

Last week I did my favorite trick of failing to move, and sure enough, the punch to the "face" landed about a foot left of my left shoulder and about 6 inches short.  :confused:  Ah I love messing with their pointy heads.  Com'on HIT ME!  :D 

At any rate, I focused on being a sensitive training uke; matching their ability and using the opportunity to focus on smoothing out my rolls.

Oh yeah, the last technique I practiced with the other yudansha, that's probably why I had so much fun with it...]]></body>
	<date>08-14-2008</date>
</blogEntry>

<blogEntry id="3250">
	<title><![CDATA[notes on a &quot;20 year technique&quot;]]></title>
	<body><![CDATA[Just some notes...

katataitori yikyo iriminage

offer thumb down, palm out
sweep up across my body, pin uke's hand to the streetlamp.  :confused: 

Step in, don't lower pinned hand, control uke's head (cup jaw).  my center even with uke's forward hip, keep uke close. :blush: 

pivot on back foot, same time sweep pinned hand down to ground, still in front of my center.  If I miss that mark, keep turning -- don't let uke get past my center.  :hypno: 

Turn hips back to direction uke was facing origionally and project, roll ki over uke like a wave.  evileyes 

wash, rinse, repeat.]]></body>
	<date>06-26-2008</date>
</blogEntry>

<blogEntry id="3246">
	<title><![CDATA[Walking thru my center...]]></title>
	<body><![CDATA[Warning:  Christian Content.

I've been thinking a lot about why I am addicted to aikido.  Why does it draw me back again? Why am I willling to shake up my life, aquire an ever-changing collection of bruises, sore and strained muscles, and mystify/dismay my christian friends by investing my time in attempting to master this art?

I think what I am coming to, at least in part, is a realization that Aikido offers me a time of meditation that is physical and dynamic.  On the mat, I am completely focused on the present.  My mind is so much more focused, and I leave the dojo often with a clearer mental attitude.

Also, I live so much in my head, that I often treat my body as if it were not part of ME.  This is also, I think, a consequence of being a cancer surivor.  I still don't trust my body very much -- often it feels like its out to get me.  Ok that sounds psychotic, but it's kind of true.  Aikido brings me to a place of joy in my physical body;   a kind of reconcilliation... 

 John 15:5 (The Message)
The Message (MSG) 
 5-8"I am the Vine, you are the branches. When you're joined with me and I with you, the relation intimate and organic, the harvest is sure to be abundant. Separated, you can't produce a thing. Anyone who separates from me is deadwood, gathered up and thrown on the bonfire. But if you make yourselves at home with me and my words are at home in you, you can be sure that whatever you ask will be listened to and acted upon. This is how my Father shows who he is—when you produce grapes, when you mature as my disciples. 

And now, the Aikido version…
Jesus says, "I am the Center, you are the body.  When you extend and move thru me, and I thru you, the relationship intimate and organic, the result is sure to be dynamic and powerful.  Separated, you can't do a thing.  Anyone who separates from me will lose balance and control, destroyed by the forces set against them.  But if you cherish me as you center, and your thoughts sound in harmony with my words, you can be sure that whatever you ask will be listened to and acted upon.  This is how my Father shows who he is -- when you are dynamically effective without resorting to your own strength, when you mature as my disciples."]]></body>
	<date>06-24-2008</date>
</blogEntry>

<blogEntry id="3237">
	<title><![CDATA[Feet, follow the center!]]></title>
	<body><![CDATA[Uke does not like being pulled.  Uke likes being invited.  Feet, do not move until the center needs you to move. 

Uke grabs.  Look! A penny! (Feet, wait for the center to move). Big yawn and point at the gound over there!  Uke, please fall there!

Center, Fluid.  Don't stop before Uke is down, don;t let him stand up completly.

Lots of work on keeping my center and capturing Uke's balance.

Sometimes ki flows thru finger tips, sometimes back up thru elbows and then back out  fingertips (big yawn and point over there).

I have no clue what the japanese is for these movements,,, (sigh).

DH is waiting for me... more contemplating later...]]></body>
	<date>06-17-2008</date>
</blogEntry>

<blogEntry id="3217">
	<title><![CDATA[Ikkyo, Nikkyo, and Kokkyo]]></title>
	<body><![CDATA[Capture the center, lead low, cut down with extension, but don't give up your center.

I have a feeling this is going to become my mantra...

Ikiyo was familiar (Katatedori Ikkyo omote).  Nikkyo (start with Katatedori Ikkyo then shift to nikkyo) felt really strange until I realized I could also do it resting uke's knuckles on my coller, then it was a piece of cake.  I guess I had always practiced it that way in years gone by.  Kokkyo (uke grabbs one hand with both hands)-- I have to say it is way easier with a jo.  Empty handed, I know it's the same, but I have a harder time taking uke's balance.
  
And the associated pins (excepting Kokkyu, of course).  Take out the slack, THEN apply torque from MY center -- DO NOT LEAN OUT OF BALANCE!

Ok, so the good thing about being the only student who shows up for class -- you get to train one-on one with sensei. :cool: 

The bad thing about being the only student who shows up for class -- you get to train one-on-one with sensei. :dead:  

'course, it's all good -- I learned alot!]]></body>
	<date>06-04-2008</date>
</blogEntry>

<blogEntry id="3210">
	<title><![CDATA[A little knowledge...]]></title>
	<body><![CDATA[You know the saying: "A little knowledge is a dangerous thing."

Huh.  I recall the last time I re-started in Aikido after a few years absence I managed to pull my groin muscles the first week or so.  :blush: This time I thought I'd be smarter and get in some conditioning before I started.  Not smart enough I guess.  This time it's my left hamstring.  (sound of hand smacking forehead) :yuck:  "doh!"

Enough knowledge to have a strong attack and take a fall decently, but not enough to know better and hold back until I'm really back into decent ukemi.  It was the forward roll out of a shomenuchi  kitenage (spelling?) that did me in.  

Oh well.  Now I have to go it slow for a couple weeks.   I know, I know,       ...patience.  This is not my forte, so I guess this is a good opportunity to learn more and practice that particular virtue.

On the bright side, I have a new "fashion accessory" --  a brand new neoprene thigh wrap! :cool:]]></body>
	<date>05-21-2008</date>
</blogEntry>

<blogEntry id="3208">
	<title><![CDATA[Ice is your friend]]></title>
	<body><![CDATA[First time in a dojo in many years, and I have to say, it felt real good!

I'm back at home now, enjoying a beer and applying ice to both wrists... and grinning like a maniac. :D  BTW, wine bottle chillers are great for wrists.

It's interesting; I'm having trouble with ikiyo (we were practicing katatatori ikiyo), but nikiyo seemed to come back to me much more clearly.  I really need to focus on ki direction and capturing uke's center; I focus too much on the externals.  Intellectually, I know better;  on the mat, I forget.

Kinetic memory is odd,eh?  

Forward rolls were not too lumpy, but my back rolls were pathetic.  Guess I need to move the furniture in my living room and spend some time rolling around :p . 

I can't wait to get back on the mat.  I wonder if I'll have time to go Thursday after my daughter's end of the year band concert...

PS. day after analysis: clearly I need to spend more attention conditioning my getting off the mat muscle groups...:uch:]]></body>
	<date>05-14-2008</date>
</blogEntry>

<blogEntry id="3205">
	<title><![CDATA[My Inner earth-bender]]></title>
	<body><![CDATA[I've noticed an interesting effect of spending 45 min practicing suburi and kengi /bo gi.  I feel as if my center has a direct connection to the earth, like I have a gyroscope embedded in me.  It fades after an hour or two, but for a while I feel as if no-one could catch me off-center, even while I'm making toast in the kitchen.  

Also, I've been doing some reading.  I know enough not to study "how-to" manuels -- like i need to teach myself more bad habits.  I'll learn techniques from sensei at the dojo.  But I do hang out at the used bookstore, and check all my favorite spots regularly -- cooking, SF, martial arts, camping...  Found a copy of [I]Aikido for Life[/I], by Gaku Homma and have been thourougly enjoying it.  Lots to think about.]]></body>
	<date>05-07-2008</date>
</blogEntry>

<blogEntry id="3195">
	<title><![CDATA[Baby steps]]></title>
	<body><![CDATA[I started from scratch 5 weeks ago: a 45 year-old sedentary woman.  (:p Ok that’s a kind of nice way of saying old and fat.  But, as I am not dead yet, and I may have to live with this body for a few more decades, I guess I’d better get serious about getting the best out of it that I can.)  I had dropped enough weight to be back in my BMI zone, though at the upper end.     
So, to the daily walk with my pup, I added 20 Min of stretching every day (as per my chiro’s rec), something active 3x a week, a basic strength routine 2x (thank you SELF mag), and training with a Shodan friend of mine on Bokken and Jo about once per week (when we could work it out for a Sat or Sun afternoon) – 100 shomen + kengi and jogi; about 1.5 hrs.

To these basics, so far I have worked up to:  stretching routine from Aikido with intensity 3x a week; crunches, up to 38 front, 20 each side and 10 lower, every other day; 1hr of BASIC &#61514; yoga 2x a week;  working solo with Bokken and Jo 2x a week, 500 shomen, 10 ea of Bokken kengi #1 ,#2, and Jogi #1.  Pup and I are starting to jog a bit and do a couple of wind sprints (she’s out of shape, too).  And by the way, my back is soooo much better.

My goal is by the end of this summer (ambitious because of interruptions from family vacations and heat of desert) all above, jog/sprint  10 min mi , crunches to total 100, shomen to 1k and add front and back rolls and knee walking.
Wow, :freaky: I read that again and it DOES look pretty ambitious.  But this time around, I’m much more aware of MY responsibilities in training.  I will go to Dojo to learn, not to get into condition. To the best of my ability, I will be a sponge as a student, and a reliable worker as a member of the dojo.  And I hope to make some good friends along the way!  Did I mention I dream about going to camp in Colorado in the summer of ’09?

Ok?  Get ready for the posts where I winge….:eek:]]></body>
	<date>04-29-2008</date>
</blogEntry>


</blogEntries>