View Full Version : moral dialemma

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10-09-2005, 06:50 PM
ok ... a guy whose been a bud of mine for years but i havent sopke to in months bumped in to me at a shop the other day ...
we got chattin and arranged to meet in a pub for a catch up ...
once in said pub he announed he was getting married .... all well and good .... hes 36 wiv 5 kids ... getting married is kewl!
until he said that his fiancee is 16!

so im soooooo shocked .... he says to me ... i want u at the wedding! ...
i tried talking to him ..... i think its wrong! .... but on other hand hes my mate ....
so what do I do?
do i put aside my moral objections and go?
or stick to my guns and steer clear of said wedding?

come on peeps .... help!

em x
aka dory!

Ron Tisdale
10-09-2005, 07:49 PM
36. 5 kids. marrying a 16 yo.

Steer clear. Wish him well and move on.


Neil Mick
10-10-2005, 12:50 AM
Yeah. What Ron said.

Listen to your moral objections, on this one. Don't go.

10-10-2005, 01:56 AM
dont spose u guyts goyt Oprahs number???

10-10-2005, 02:32 AM
ok ... a guy whose been a bud of mine for years but i havent sopke to in months...

.... but on other hand hes my mate ....

I don't know about you and I certainly don't know what kind of bonds tie you two together, however, by what you tell us, you're not exactly soul-mates who can't stay apart very long. It seems you can do without him and I'm guessing it's the other way around also. ;)

That alone (for me) is reason enough to kindly refuse the invitation. If there are moral issues attached, well, there's reason squared not to go.

Perhaps you should make up an excuse (with grace and diplomacy) not to go. You can refrain from giving him a cermon. That's reserved for one's best friends not any and every mate who you happen to bump into after months of no contact.

That's what I'd do. But seeing I know nothing about either of you, I'm probably wrong anyway.

Relax, breathe, focus. Answer will come. :D

10-10-2005, 06:46 AM
ok so the father of my eldest 2 sons was 16 years older than me, when you find love you find love (hopefully legal ages here)if you feel its wrong to go to this guys wedding emmsy then don't go but wish him well in his married life and move on

Anat Amitay
10-10-2005, 10:25 AM
you should do what you feel is right, because non of us can tell you what is the right thing to do....
I know it's an answer without an answer, sorry.
I have my beliefs that with all due respect, a 16 year old does not know a ___ thing about true love and the bond of marriage, but the world is different in every generation...
I guess here it would be settled by the fact that one can't marry so young (I think 18 is the limit) and I think there's sense in that.
As for you- you need to decide if your morals allow you to be "a part" of this or not. If you respect him as a person and believe he is truely in love and is not doing all this as some kind of sick prank, than trust him to be doing the right thing (as much as it seems wrong). If you don't trust him, decide if you want to be part of this show or not, and if not, wish him best of luck and wriggle your way out of attending (as was mentioned above by others).
There is no definit answer here, but I hope you find a way to act you will feel good with, whatever it will be.
My two "agorot" (cents)

Mark Uttech
10-10-2005, 11:22 AM
Good grief!

10-11-2005, 03:57 PM
I think you should get your friend to say the words 'mid-life crisis' then tell him not to ruin a teenager's teenage years.

He's had his.

James Davis
10-11-2005, 04:09 PM
You don't necessarily have to give him your blessing if you don't agree with what he's doing. Just send him a gift and wish them the best of luck. As for your attending the wedding... maybe you have some other plans that you forgot about? ;)