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Roy
08-18-2005, 03:10 PM
One day you may be walking along a secluded path, then out of nowhere, a sumo pops out from behind a bush, Wham!! Bam!! you have fallen victim :uch:
Statistics show that 60% of US citizens are obese. Therefor, their is a growing threat of being attacked by sumo. Don't kid yourself by thinking you could out run them, for indeed they are shockingly swift! So, ask yourself this, will your Aikido prepare you for such a threat? If pinned, how will you escape such girth? Should you carry a cattle prod just in case? And finally, what techniques might you use during such an altercation?
Please share all your thoughts and solutions, for it may make all the difference in preparing a "combat ready" Aikidoka :grr:

deepsoup
08-18-2005, 03:14 PM
Throw the doughnut one way, run the other.

Mashu
08-18-2005, 04:04 PM
Aikido technique as usual but make sure your ma ai is at the proper orbit or you'll get pulled in by their gravitational field.

guest89893
08-18-2005, 04:43 PM
One day you may be walking along a secluded path, then out of nowhere, a sumo pops out from behind a bush, :

Roy, if you are surprised by a sumo popping or jumping out of a bush. You deserve to get your butt whipped.

The reason 60% of Americans are over weight is they can't walk two extra feet to get to a store to buy the donuts let alone "pop" out of a bush an attack someone. Like deepsoup wrote throw the donut and run (heck just walk fast & you'll still get away) the other way.

Gene

Mashu
08-18-2005, 04:49 PM
If pinned, how will you escape such girth? Should you carry a cattle prod just in case?

A cattle prod would just make them mad. As a last resort If you are pinned try to reach into their fat rolls and remove any remotes or small pets that got lost in there. Hopefully you'll receive mercy like in that Aesop fable about Androcles and the lion with the thorn in it's paw.

mj
08-18-2005, 05:04 PM
... And finally, what techniques might you use during such an altercation?
Please share all your thoughts and solutions, for it may make all the difference in preparing a "combat ready" Aikidoka :grr:
Start shouting in Arabic.

Mashu
08-18-2005, 05:08 PM
Start shouting in Arabic.

Bad idea. They might think you're a bomber and smother you in a heroic gesture to save any bystanders.

xuzen
08-18-2005, 10:49 PM
One day you may be walking along a secluded path, then out of nowhere, a sumo pops out from behind a bush, Wham!! Bam!! you have fallen victim :uch:
Statistics show that 60% of US citizens are obese. Therefor, their is a growing threat of being attacked by sumo. Don't kid yourself by thinking you could out run them, for indeed they are shockingly swift! So, ask yourself this, will your Aikido prepare you for such a threat? If pinned, how will you escape such girth? Should you carry a cattle prod just in case? And finally, what techniques might you use during such an altercation?
Please share all your thoughts and solutions, for it may make all the difference in preparing a "combat ready" Aikidoka :grr:

Wow 60%! In my country, it is officially 20% and our Health Minister is already raising the alarm bell and launching a crusade against obesity.

Roy, Sumo as in real sumo-tori are athlete. They jog, they train to fight ala sumo, they stretch, they lift weights etc... basically they train hard like any professional athletes. I think it is incorrect to equate obese people as sumo-tori.

I have a book on sumo, and funny enough some of their official techniques look like judo techniques. They are also allowed to strike their opponent (not with fist, but with their palm). I think they are tough customers to deal with should for any reason you have to face them in an altercation. Real sumo (not the 60% that you talk about)...

If you take a look at the previous Pizza Parlour altercation thread.. the guy who threw the right hook was huge and probably in the 60% category that you speak of...

Boon.

Roy
08-18-2005, 11:18 PM
Xu,

Don't take this thread too seriously ;) I agree that sumo are true Ma's.

NixNa
08-18-2005, 11:32 PM
Roflol ! Boon, like they say over here in our countries... "relak man ! relak man!" ("relax" in the pronouncation of the local tone)

Lyle Bogin
08-19-2005, 11:02 AM
The statistics vary depending on whom you ask, but 60% is an seriously inflated number. It seems like various states hover between 15-30%

Canada comes in between 10-20%.

http://www.cdc.gov/nccdphp/dnpa/obesity/trend/maps/

About canada:

http://www.cmaj.ca/cgi/content/full/166/8/1039

Roy
08-19-2005, 01:33 PM
Lyle Bogin,

OK, I stand corrected :), Relak man, Relak man :D

NixNa
08-19-2005, 01:38 PM
LOL dudddddeeee .... u need the local singaporean and malaysian accent, like that: relaaakkk lah relakkkk man!

Ron Tisdale
08-19-2005, 01:40 PM
As a last resort If you are pinned try to reach into their fat rolls and remove any remotes or small pets that got lost in there.

I'm sorry, but reading that just sent a shiver down my spine. EEEeeeeeewwwww.....I'm NOT reaching into ANYONE'S FOLDS....

Ron ( :crazy: )

markwalsh
08-19-2005, 01:47 PM
Fatness is unacceptable and the best defense is offense - Attack fat people first in the bakery. Note: be sure to chase them out so they loose a few pounds and there's no line when you buy a celebratory cake after.

Have we reached the limits of good taste yet :D ?

BTW - If you have glandular problem/ medical condition that leads to obesity, I sincerely apologize for this whole thread...and I'll see you at the bakery later fatty.

akiy
08-19-2005, 01:59 PM
This thread has gotten distasteful. Thread closed.

-- Jun