View Full Version : Dojo search tutorial
11-04-2004, 02:43 PM
After so many questions on this topic (including mine), in response to Jun's "template" and also to express (partially correct) my own experience I would like to present the "Dojo search tutorial".
1. Open your browser and go to Yahoo
2. Type "a dojo that will make me smart, strong and sexy"
3. Click on several links with "mature content"
4. If you still remember what was your initial intention, go to Google and type "good dojo"
5. Click on the first link in the list
6. On the opened page, click the first link
7. On the opened Aikiweb site you can do it two ways: the short way - by going to the forum and asking direct question, or the long way - jump to step 14.
8. Since we already surfed those "mature content" websites and want to cut it short, choose the easy way.
9. To do that, you have to register. Click to "Register" link and choose a cool nickname like "Spongebob", "AngJolie" or "Godzilla".
10. Ask direct question in the "General" forum.
11. Read Jun's template.
12. Ignore it completely and wait for 30 more minutes.
13. Read indirect answers to your direct question, reread Jun's template and thank everybody for their politically correct responses.
14. Click "dojo search" link and make a list of dojos in your driving distance (500 miles)
15. Pack your bag with your teenage old karate gi. Don't worry if you can't fit inside it and sleeves are short enough to reveal your elbows and knees (you won't need it anyway). Make sure to leave at home your whatever-color-it-is old belt. Instead of white belt you can use toilet paper by folding it 3 times. Scotch tape will also work perfectly.
16. Drive to the first dojo and watch a class. Smile. Ask questions.
17. Drive home and stop thinking "what the hell was that?"
18. Drive to the same dojo and watch a class. Smile. Do not ask questions.
19. Drive home and stop thinking "what the hell was that?"
20. Drive to the same dojo and watch a class. Smile back.
21. Drive home and stop thinking "what are they smiling at?"
22. Swear not to return to that dojo ever.
23. Correct your driving distance to 5 min drivetime.
24. Drive to second dojo and watch a class. Smile.
25. Drive home and stop thinking "what is the difference?"
26. Drive to third dojo and watch a class. Smile.
27. Drive home and stop thinking "why are they doing it differently?"
28. Drive to the first dojo and join the introductory class. Wipe out that stupid smile!
29. Drive home and read a lecture to your spouse about the value of sport. Ignore her smiles and be serious.
30. Drive to the first dojo and join it.
31. Keep smiling!
11-05-2004, 05:09 AM
I believe it will be very useful for those planning to start, but i have a question: in step 15 do i have to fold the Scotch tape too?
11-05-2004, 12:53 PM
It's up to you man. Both will work, but if you do not fold it you don't have to learn how to tie your belt.
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