Worst MA Movies

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[Erik]

Inspired by the coming release of "Exit Wounds" and Mr. Seagal's bountiful resume. I'm curious what you think are the worst MA movies of all time?

My personal worst is the Chuck Norris movie "The Octagon" where we hear his thoughts during the entire movie. I just can't bear to watch it.

Others?

[andrew]

Jackie Chan. "Eagle Shadow Fist." The great man said he pitied anybody who sat through the whole thing....


andrew

[BC]

My vote is "The Last Dragon" from the eighties. Truly awful...

[lt-rentaroo]

Hello,

Hmmm, the worst martial art movie I've suffered through has to be "Gymkata". Nothing worse than a gymnastics person trying to perform martial arts techniques. The movie was actually funny becuase every time the "good guy" encountered a "bad guy" there was always some sort of makeshift piece of gymnastics equipment (pommel horse, parallel bars, rings, etc.) available for use. At least I didn't waste any money renting it, I watched it on TV.

Of course, the movie "Ghost Dog - Spirit of the Samurai", with Forest Whitaker playing a modern day hitman / ronin was also quite possibly the worst movie I've ever rented. Do yourself a favor and don't waste your money on it.

[Edited by lt-rentaroo on March 7, 2001 at 11:43am]

[cbrf4zr2]

From my personal point of view, anything with Jean-Claude Van Damme.

Honestly, who does the splits when throwing a punch? Of all of his, I think the worst was Knock Off (I think - they all seem the same)

[NYFE Man]

BC wrote:
My vote is "The Last Dragon" from the eighties. Truly awful...


Hold on, hold on, hold on! That movie is a CLASSIC!

One of my teachers is one of the three workers at the fortune cookie company (Hu Yi, Lu Yi and Du Yi -- he was Lu!). And the final showdown with Sho-Nuff the Shogun of Harlem? What's not to love!

[Kenn]

Yeah, I gotta agree, Last Dragon kicked ass! come one, funk and martial arts in the same movie...lol

Also, how can you badmouth the Octagon, great movie, one of if not the best Chuck films.

Since this is an Aikido forum I'd like ot recommend Stevie's Hard to Kill, wakes up out of a coma to kick some ass, paaaaallleeaassee.

I also saw a really bad Jackie Chan movie called Spiritual Kung Fu, thinking it was about the spiritual aspects of the martial arts, I thought, cool, ....ghosts running around hitting Jackie, horrible...

Peace all, Kenn

[adamk]

Yeah hard to kill was hard to swallow. He excaped while pushing himself around on a hospital bed with a broom stick!!!

[cbrf4zr2]

Yeah...Hard to Kill was pretty bad, and you can take that to the bank...the blood bank!

[DiNalt]

cbrf4zr2 wrote:
Yeah...Hard to Kill was pretty bad, and you can take that to the bank...the blood bank!

Has anyone else noticed that in the end of Terminator 2, when Arnold punches T-1000 in the head and his hand gets um... captured, the T-1000 uses a kotegaeshi/sankyo variation ?

More interestingly... why the hell did it work ? Heh.

[adamk]

DiNalt wrote:


Has anyone else noticed that in the end of Terminator 2, when Arnold punches T-1000 in the head and his hand gets um... captured, the T-1000 uses a kotegaeshi/sankyo variation ?

More interestingly... why the hell did it work ? Heh.

Yeah I noticed that too. Are you asking how it worked cuz robots are real?
Well if we are going to pretend that really happened I'd say it worked because the terminator was designed after a human skeleton. Man I feel like a dork.

More T2 stuff. Ever notice that Arnolds FATBOY in the movie has foot pegs located conveniently under the gas tank. Where no other motorcycle has foot pegs. sure was lucky for the terminator to steal the one bike that would have foot pegs in the exact place the John character would need them if he rode infront of arnold on the bike. I noticed that a while ago and now I have trouble ignoring it when I watch the movie.

peace
adam

[Sam]

cbrf4zr2 wrote:
From my personal point of view, anything with Jean-Claude Van Damme.

Honestly, who does the splits when throwing a punch? Of all of his, I think the worst was Knock Off (I think - they all seem the same)


Yup, have to agree with this one....
What is the name of that one where he is teaching a karate class to a bunch of people in pastel colour gis, whilst wearing all spandex??

[andrew]

Sam wrote:
[BYup, have to agree with this one....
What is the name of that one where he is teaching a karate class to a bunch of people in pastel colour gis, whilst wearing all spandex?? [/B]

"Double Impact." YeSSSS! Double the Van Dammage (Best movie catchphrase ever.), incredibly gratuitous sex scene, and that tough looking Chinese actor. Where's your problem?

andrew

PS Gymkata must surely rock, if only cos that guy won an Olympic medal for gymnastics...

[andrew]

I meant to say hilariously gratuitous sex scene.

anderew

[lt-rentaroo]

Hello,

The gymnist from the movie "Gymkata" may have won a gold medal for olympic gymnastics, but he was a terrible actor and martial artist. But then, I'm certainly not an expert actor either or a gymnist and I don't consider myself a martial arts expert either (not by any stretch of the imagination). I guess the movie wasn't too bad, just odd how all those pieces of gymnastics equipment kept popping up. Have a good day!

[andrew]

lt-rentaroo wrote:
But then, I'm certainly not an expert actor either or a gymnist and I don't consider myself a martial arts expert either (not by any stretch of the imagination). I guess the movie wasn't too bad,

You miss the point. I'm sure it was hideous. But I'm sure it has an immense watchability. Not all bad films are fun to watch...

andrew

[Moomin]

I was going to nominate the Mortal Kombat films, but then I remembered that I really like them! However, on a similar video game conversion theme, one that was truly dreadful was Street Fighter, with diminutive Ausie popster Kylie Minogue (?) and that media tart Van Damme again. Not even slightly humurous.

[lt-rentaroo]

Andrew,

I understand what you mean, I've seen a few films that were pretty bad, but fun to watch. Some of the old "Kung Fu Theater" movies were pretty cheesey, but fun to watch. On a side question, has anyone seen the movie "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon". I thought it was a pretty good movie and you stop noticing the subtitles after about five minutes. Some of the scenes involving the use of wires to support the actors were a little silly, but done very well.

[andrew]

lt-rentaroo wrote:
On a side question, has anyone seen the movie "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon".


That kind of wire work is usually tedious, but for once there was decent camerawork involved which made it good to watch. That film was very..... em.... sad and moving? Hard to define, certainly.

I bought a Jackie Chan movie once in which he didn't actually appear. (Fight choreographer). Some scenes were apparently out of order. Most of it was pretty tedious.
The film was saved by the fact that the dubbing was hilarious and obviously tongue in cheek. I lost count of how many times somebody said "You B*st*rd" for no reason.
"Master, I must fight Ded Lee Foe, please help"
"Heh, you B*st*rd!! He'll kill you for sure...... unless....."


andrew

[andrew]

Ahem. And it was called 36 crazy fists.
andrew

[Magma]

Gymkata and Knock Off get my votes. The first is so silly it's stupid, and the second was painful enough that I still haven't lived down recommending to my friends that we catch it when it was in the theaters.

Two things:
1) Double Impact, I don't think Van Damme is teaching martial arts in the health club. I think he is talking about muscles and flexability and used that moment for an ego stroke. "Look what I can do"
2) Jackie Chan's Operation: Condor, I think this is the one that just seemed like the plot was written in a bunch of small segments, and it didn't matter if the money ran out after any segment, they were just going to end it when they had no more money. Which is how the end strikes me. "What, we have no more money? Let's end it!"

[Dajo251]

In response to a post Way Back I have to say I enjoyed Ghost dog it entertained me and secondly I wish to say that any Van Dammn movie is aful but most of all Knock off it left me with one question "WHY"?

[paul spawforth]

Street fighter the movie is probably the worst martial arts film i have ever seen, closely followed by hard to kill which was boring as hell! by the way my favourites are.. blade, which kicks ass!!! and there is some ace fighting in the matrix, and also the first 5 minutes of nico is quite good.

Paul.

[Erik]

paul spawforth wrote:
Street fighter the movie is probably the worst martial arts film i have ever seen, closely followed by hard to kill which was boring as hell! by the way my favourites are.. blade, which kicks ass!!! and there is some ace fighting in the matrix, and also the first 5 minutes of nico is quite good.

Paul.

If you watch Blade closely you will notice a very distinct change in how the swords are handled by Deacon Frost and his stunt double. It's quite significant and I'm amazed they left it in the movie. Otherwise, I enjoyed this one as well.

I'd forgotten about Ghost Dog. The only movie where the star looked more bored than the audience.

Don't forget the street fighter series with Sonny Chiba. I've never actually rented one but the preview looked how should I put it, "terrible!".

[Kenn]

Sonny Chiba's Street Fighter, the first one was great, the others sucked.

Peace, Kenn

[AikiBiker]

Kenn I have to respectfully disagree with you.

The first Street Fighter movie with Sonny Chiba was really bad too. Very, very bad, It is painful to me just to think about even. Yes, very very bad.

Later

[Sam]

Has anybody seen a film called 'Shogun Assasins'?
Man that film was wild!

[sceptoor]

I've seen some really bad martial arts films in my time, so here's a list.

I agree with all of the above mentioned films with Van Damme.

ANY and I mean ANY Cynthia Rothrock film.

"Blood Moon". This is one of the worst movies I've ever seen. The stunt doubles are as obvious as the ones in "I'm Gonna Get You Sucka!!". You know, where the Mom is always following her son around protecting him, and when she fights, you can see the wig and mustache*LOL*. Same thing with Blood Moon, only it isn't on purpose, it's just plain incompetence.

Mark Dacascus is another victim of the low budget film, but somehow still entertains us with his skills. I'll watch his films for the fight scenes, although some fight scenes are pretty cheesy, but other than that, his movies blow chunks. Also, they use those annoying cable effects which seem to ruin the movies.

Don "the Dragon" Wilson is yet another victim. His films are as bad as Rothrock's and share the same narcissistic attitude. Both artists are really good in their respective arts, but they are both bad actors, pretty ugly and usually play lead characters that think they're hot. It doesn't work, and the writers do their best to come up with one liners like, "Seeya, wouldn't wanna be ya!!" after killing the bad guy in the climactic scene.

Jet Li is a superb martial artist, but needs to get rid of the cables and stuff. I think the cables really hinder his true ability and his career.

Chuck Norris movies are old and dated, but classic.

"American Ninja". All of them.

"Bloodsport". All of them.

Jackie Chan's movies are kind of lame yes, but most are of the "Kung Fu Theater" genre. His american released movies like "Rumble in the Bronx" and "Supercop" have great fight scenes, but all movies after that blow. :D

[cbrf4zr2]

How about that Chuck Norris movie with the kid from SeaQuest...I forget what it's called, but it was bad. And I think the "evil" Sensei from "The Karate Kid" was in it too, playing the same role as he did in KK.

[Magma]

That was "Sidekicks" I think... suitably horrible to fit this library we are building.

You know, when it comes down to it, every film that takes its seriousness from the martial arts or from the main character's bad-ass fighting ability immediately has an entire inning's worth of strikes against it. That's just silly, and we know it's just a movie.

Movies that take themselves seriously as movies first, and then include good martial arts... those movies are the classics. I can point to movies like the Matrix and Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon for this. Yes, the wires hurt the fight scenes of CTHD, but CTHD didn't have to rely on the martial arts to carry the movie. They were just extra. The real story was happening between the people.

[Kenn]

AikiBiker wrote:
Kenn I have to respectfully disagree with you.

The first Street Fighter movie with Sonny Chiba was really bad too. Very, very bad, It is painful to me just to think about even. Yes, very very bad.

Later

I must respectfully disagree with YOU, although the plot isn't all that wonderful, (I defy you to find a martial arts movie with one that is), the fight scenes in this movie are great because they aren't the typical, 1,000 hits and blocks type scenes, it's straight, to the point Karate.

We all have our own opinions, mine just happen to be right, and your wrong..:-)

Peace, Kenn

[Travis Baker]

Street Fighter... scary stuff.

I have to agree that Blade was awesome... still my favorite movie. Wesley Snipes is just badass. What did everyone think of Art of War?

-Travis Baker

[Arunabha Sengupta]

I would say Jet Li's My Father - A Hero.
Van Damme's Black Eagle is also a long drawn out, boring flick.

[Steve Speicher]

What'd everyone think of Art of War?


I just saw this movie the other day, and I enjoyed it very much. Good plot and story, entertaining. Didn't contain terribly many 'fight' scenes (as in drawn out ones), one at the beginning and one at the end. I thought they were well done, overall very good watch in my opinion.

[Jim ashby]

Most of you will be too young to remember this one but "the legend of the seven golden vampires" a mixed horror/MA movie is the very very worst film ever made, not only in the MA genre.
Have fun.

[Arunabha Sengupta]

I have recently seen Universal Soldier -The Return starring Van Damme. I revise my earlier opinion. This is by far the worst.

[sceptoor]

I just recently saw a good part of "Bloodsport III", and I turned it off right after the scene where he was camping or something and started a campfire by projecting his Ki towards the twigs by hovering his hand above them. The fight scenes were alright though.