View Full Version : Inconsiderate people
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06-09-2004, 03:33 AM
I have a day at work and I am just writing/babling about how inconsiderate people can be. I work as a shopkeeper at a high street chemist. Rush hour can be pretty say, rush. I have notice that people are less able to tolerate people. It was lunch time, and some of my co-workers were out on lunch, another was on Medical Leave so we were understaff. Whilst I was serving a customer, who was asking many questions, another lady barge in and demanded immediate attention. She was rather unhappy when we were unable to render her immediate assistance.
I was wondering, what has happen to common courtesy? In aikido, I can still feel that we show respect, consideration and above all compassion in our dojo. Whether the fellow practitioner is a complete ass@$%& outside the dojo is anybody's guess. But then as long the person wears a gi and he steps into the dojo, that person is by tradition compulsed to show the bushido virtues.
I am wondering, if that lady has done aikido or something similar to this, maybe we would have less of such negative emotion.
I started this thread just for trivial discussion sake. Anyone wishes to comment? It would brighten my day considerably.
06-09-2004, 03:57 AM
You have to understand, she was going through her Vicodin withdrawal.
06-09-2004, 04:21 AM
ha ha ha, Alek, she looks more like constipated.
06-09-2004, 04:26 AM
Grrr, pet hate of mine. It's a result of todays society, it's not good and it's getting worse, good manners and courtesy are severely lacking. I just wrote a big long rant and got it out of my system (until the drive home ;)) so deleted the post :).
06-09-2004, 02:31 PM
IMHO, inconsiderate people are just coming from a very hurt and fearful place. They are misguided in their thinking that it all about them and what they want. They are often frustrated because the world doesn't do what they want it to. Just like you are frustrated because the world doesn't show the consideration you think it should. These people and their pain provide a great means to practice the art of peace in our lifes. Thank them for the opportunity to train.
06-09-2004, 03:03 PM
Absolutley! Make sure you thank them. The moment they finish their tirade actually verbalize an enthusiastic "THANK YOU!!!"
Get some misty eyes goin and offer a hug. Especially if your both men and the fella happens to be a Nascar fan. They love hugs.
The response is hilarious.
06-09-2004, 03:59 PM
Thank you Lynn for stating that objectively.
Subjectively- it is too easy for me to BE that kind of demanding angry person. And as Lynn says. some of us come from a very fearful place and these behavioral habiots are exceedingly dificult to break. I am so thankful to have found Aikido; in the very short time i have been training i have become a great deal more "diplomatic" in my dealings with the world. Not all the time, i still get verbal at times, but what a difference from 3 years ago!
Just blend with these people as best as you can. And know its not personal, really.
06-09-2004, 10:55 PM
Here's the approach I like : SURPRISE them. (Like throwing uke off balance, now that I come to think of it.)
If somebody comes on aggressive, angry, etc. then (a) they believe that this approach will work to help make them happy--and it may well have worked for them in the past; and (b) they expect you to respond in kind. As Marc notes, doing something they don't anticipate is fun--and, I would add, potentially enlightening for both parties.
06-10-2004, 02:08 AM
Thanks for the replies. My personal favourite is to act dumb and pretend that they are from a different planet. Add an additional expression of exclaimation; that their behaviour is very interesting for scientific phychiatric studies. It is non-verbal sarcasm.
I have split up the off-topic posts regarding "Postmodernism" into [ur="http://www.aikiweb.com/forums/showthread.php?t=5811"]this thread[/url].
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