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11-27-2003, 03:52 AM
Like most IT geeks, I suffer from an inability to socialize, I have debated the perceived reasons and factors which contribute to this malady a million times but I am still drawing a blank, so I think I shall do the only thing left for me.

Now suicide is somewhat pase and overplayed, mostly employed by rockstars and celebrities who cannot handle the pressures of being famous, good looking and desireable.

I being neither rich nor famous nor good looking need to be original, so I have decided to kill myself by throwing myself totally into the study of Aikido.

I have been doing it rather diligently for about a year now, about 3 classes a week give or take. The option is open to me to go to 6 classes a week so that will be my first step. I also seem to be holding back in my attacks, well, no more.

The reasoning behind this is that Aikido will either kill me, as in fall and break my neck and die or it will cripple me, taking my suffering into fresh and new dimensions or it will cure me (ha ha yeah right) and I will be able to get over whatever is bothering me.

Any tips and caveats to look out for in this new endeavour of mine?

ChristianBoddum
11-27-2003, 05:42 AM
Maybe your ego will get killed ,

which is good !

enjoy !

JJF
11-27-2003, 07:44 AM
This will be good for you. Nothing beats all those silly thoughts out of a person as well as a load of koshinage and nikyo's... Go for it.

Get over the pondering with a good pounding.

tedehara
11-27-2003, 07:59 AM
Whether you are on the mat or off, you will carry your problems with you. Only until you face your troubles and do something about them, will your situation change.

If you are doing Aikido for the wrong reasons, it will be wrong Aikido. No matter how technically "Good" you become, it will still be wrong Aikido.

happysod
11-27-2003, 08:20 AM
Ted "If you are doing Aikido for the wrong reasons, it will be wrong Aikido" - as a matter of interest, what are the right reasons? I could understand you viewing others reasons for practice as "inappropriate" to how *you* want to see aikido practiced, but wrong??

Bronson
11-27-2003, 08:28 AM
The reasoning behind this is that Aikido will either kill me, as in fall and break my neck and die or it will cripple me, taking my suffering into fresh and new dimensions or it will cure me (ha ha yeah right) and I will be able to get over whatever is bothering me.
Aikido will do none of those things...you will. Aikido will only be the tool you use to do them. Take responsibility for your life. If it's good you made it good, if it's bad you made it bad and only you can change it.

Bronson

tedehara
11-27-2003, 08:39 AM
Ted "If you are doing Aikido for the wrong reasons, it will be wrong Aikido" - as a matter of interest, what are the right reasons? I could understand you viewing others reasons for practice as "inappropriate" to how *you* want to see aikido practiced, but wrong??You should know for yourself, what is correct for you. You are the world expert on yourself, since no one else can say what your true feelings are.

Tentative observations can be made by others. The original poster wants to do Aikido in lieu of suicide. Would you say this is a correct motivation for practicing Aikido? I would say "No". Practicing a martial art with that motive will probably lead to injury for either himself or others. It's an accident waiting to happen.

What are the right reasons for practicing? I think we all have our own set of right reasons. Perhaps a right reason for one person is a wrong reason for another.

happysod
11-27-2003, 08:46 AM
Ted, "You are the world expert on yourself, since no one else can say what your true feelings are" - you're just anti-psychiatrist here aren't you...

Seriously, the reason I took issue with your choice of words (i.e. wrong) is that I don't believe there are any right or wrong reasons for taking up aikido (misguided, yes, wrong, no), now how you conduct yourself within the dojo is another matter, which is where our viewpoints may coincide.

fvhale
11-27-2003, 08:54 AM
Dear Mr. Anonymous,

Disclaimer: I am not a psychiatrist, psychotherapist or licensed counselor. If you are seriously considering suicide, please immediately seek professional assistance in your community. It is not a joking matter.

Now if your problem is just the IT-geek-can't-a-date-on-Friday kind of thing, then I have a suggestion. Rather than doubling the amount of time you spend in aikido from 3 to 6 classes a week, do something different with your available time and energy. Obviously doing 3 aikido classes a week for a year did not change much. Doing 6 classes a week probably won't change much. (Is there a pattern here?) Do something different. Take a tango class. Take an art class. Taka a Japanese class. Learn to surf. Hang with some slightly less geeky folk.

Just my 2 cents.

Peace,

Frank

tedehara
11-27-2003, 09:22 AM
Ted, "You are the world expert on yourself, since no one else can say what your true feelings are" - you're just anti-psychiatrist here aren't you...

Seriously, the reason I took issue with your choice of words (i.e. wrong) is that I don't believe there are any right or wrong reasons for taking up aikido (misguided, yes, wrong, no), now how you conduct yourself within the dojo is another matter, which is where our viewpoints may coincide.When I used the words right or wrong, I'm using it in a relative, subjective manner. I'm not using it in an absolute, Biblical manner.

It's part of the baggage that goes with words.

I thought a psychiatrist helped you to uncover what your true feelings are. A psychiatrist without a patient is unemployed.

deepsoup
11-27-2003, 10:34 AM
Now if your problem is just the IT-geek-can't-a-date-on-Friday kind of thing, then I have a suggestion. Rather than doubling the amount of time you spend in aikido from 3 to 6 classes a week, do something different with your available time and energy. Obviously doing 3 aikido classes a week for a year did not change much. Doing 6 classes a week probably won't change much. (Is there a pattern here?) Do something different. Take a tango class. Take an art class. Taka a Japanese class. Learn to surf. Hang with some slightly less geeky folk.
Excellent advice, I'd like to add a hearty "ME TOO!" to this. It's obviously going to be scarier to get into something new than it is to double your training, all the more reason to go do it!

Sean

x

Jeanne Shepard
11-27-2003, 11:52 AM
Learn to dance!

Learn to dance!

Learn to dance!!!

Jeanne

Unregistered
11-27-2003, 02:07 PM
That was how I began Aikido. I figured if I didn't die I would become a better person. So I say go for it!

You'll be a better tori in the long run and you'll also have a very prolific tequinical understanding of both sides of the coin, and IMO, You'll become a better teacher because 75% of learning tori is being Uke! bravo

Colin Karl
11-27-2003, 02:22 PM
Ok I was just checking to see if I could post, I tried a while back to register and for some reason it didn't work,but anyways going all out in aikido wouldn't be a bad thing, you will do a lot better than if you hesitate.

siwilson
11-27-2003, 04:50 PM
When I first read this I thought Troll or just taking the p**s!!!

First - if someone is serious about suicide, they kill themselves, not talk about it.

Anyway, I probably should not even post this, as I could be responding to a Troll!!!

Whatever!

siwilson
11-27-2003, 04:55 PM
If you are doing Aikido for the wrong reasons, it will be wrong Aikido.
Are there wrong reasons?

Is there wrong Aikido?

Later Ted says you should know yourself, but Aikido is a way to find yourself!

I don't think there are wrong reasons if they are true to you - that you gain something from it.

Bushi
11-27-2003, 06:03 PM
Something to think about--

"Heaven and earth will pass away, but MY words will never pass away"

--Matthew 24:35, the Bible.

I'm not trying to tell you to do anything, I was just reading through here and that popped up in my head. think about it... i hope you find what you're looking for...

L. Camejo
11-27-2003, 07:01 PM
Of course there is the possibility that Aikido will help you learn to channel and focus your mind and inner energy to the degree where you break the "IT Geek" mode and enter the "IT Professional" mode by learning to view yourself differently, allowing you to utilise your abilities in IT to your social advantage.

Often all it takes is a bit of getting over yourself, stopping the whining and getting out there and facing life. Honest self evaluation combined with an equally honest and systematic method of changing those parts of yourself that stunt/hinder/block your energy tend to aid one to create a program of self improvement, and when we improve ourselves our perception of self changes.

I think some more mental/spiritual Aikido training, even meditation classes may help. This thread was interesting to me, I have stood exactly where you are now some time ago and that was the same time I walked into an Aikido dojo and began to understand that if I project negativity at life, it is what I will get out of it.

Hope this helps. Suicide solves nothing, you only carry the baggage somewhere else. The place and time to change the tide is here and now.

L.C.:ai::ki:

Suru
11-27-2003, 09:05 PM
First - if someone is serious about suicide, they kill themselves, not talk about it.
This is nonsense. Many suicidal people begin talking about it, hoping (thinking hope but not feeling hope) that there may be another alternative. Suicidal people may have exhausted all internal methods of finding a way to live happily. Some of them begin turning to others for ideas and guidance.

If depression is the case, there are hundreds of anti-depressants on the market that work. Find one with a suitable array of side-effects and try it out. When I have been in the dumps, they have certainly worked for me. They do not solve the whole problem, however, and trying an art like Aikido is an excellent move.

If you are depressed, seek help from a psychiatrist. I know it's scary walking into that office for the first time, so it will take bravery on your part to make this step. Know that most psychiatrists truly care, and that these days the stigma of mental illness is fading fast.

I wish you the best,

Drew

PeterR
11-27-2003, 09:46 PM
Is it just me but I thought the first post was and was meant to be funny.

It sure wasn't a cry fro help - he's already found it.

happysod
11-28-2003, 05:15 AM
Peter, humour on aikiweb, surely you jest. Incidently, you call doing aikido "finding help" - are you nuts?

philipsmith
11-28-2003, 05:26 AM
Surely this post was "tongue in cheek"

Why is everyone being so pretentious about it?

Nick Simpson
11-28-2003, 05:52 PM
Id agree, it is funny, just very black and sort of subtle.

Esteban Martinez
11-28-2003, 07:04 PM
My teacher said once to me that the dojo was neither a gym nor a church. What he meant was that the dojo is simply that a dojo. A place to train. I tell you now that a dojo is not a hospital or a phychiatrist. If you need help go to a professional.

Good Luck

Suru
11-28-2003, 10:53 PM
My teacher said once to me that the dojo was neither a gym nor a church. What he meant was that the dojo is simply that a dojo. A place to train. I tell you now that a dojo is not a hospital or a phychiatrist. If you need help go to a professional.

Good Luck
I'm going to assume this thread is not a joke, since I'm dubious that it is. Esteban gave great advice. Almost all professionals take their job (getting you feeling better) very seriously. Take care.

Drew

Kelly Allen
11-30-2003, 01:48 AM
Well anonymous posted a few days ago and has not posted again. Maybe he's shihonaged himself to death already.

Nick Simpson
11-30-2003, 10:24 AM
Interesting mental imagery that conjures up, how would you shionage yourself to death?

PeterR
11-30-2003, 05:44 PM
Interesting mental imagery that conjures up, how would you shionage yourself to death?
From what I understand a number of deaths in Aikido were from Shihonage. Not too hard to imagine doing too many, too hard and ....

Nick Simpson
11-30-2003, 07:37 PM
yep, but how would you perform shionage on yourself???

PeterR
11-30-2003, 07:58 PM
yep, but how would you perform shionage on yourself???
Desparation is the source of innovation - but yes I see your point.

Technically speaking all Shihonage means is a four direction throw and therefore could (and does) describe a whole range of techniques not just the classic one we tend to use. So ---- picturing some fool throwing himself into the four walls of a room.

Nick Simpson
11-30-2003, 08:27 PM
It would be interesting to watch, you could place bets on which of the four corners they would die in (sorry, im very sick).

Thalib
11-30-2003, 09:50 PM
You guys are mean... ;p

Unregistered
11-30-2003, 11:23 PM
Some people are replying as if the first post was a joke, and some people are replying as if the first post was serious. While the serious replies might be funny to a person who posted a joke about suicide, the "haha" replies might not be funny at all to a person who wrote in seriousness about being suicidal. It is hard to say, reading that post. So...

Err on the side of caution?

And yeah, antidepressants work, at least on most people. There is no need to go around feeling like offing yourself. If it's that bad, get help. Aikido will help, but you might also need "help" help.

Nick Simpson
12-05-2003, 07:59 AM
Yeah, ok, I made a couple of sick jokes but I didnt really mean it and I wouldnt have posted them if I wasnt sure that this is a joke/troll/rant/whatever.

Im pretty sure that it is in a light hearted tone, even if the original poster is actually considering suicide. Reads more like they are just venting some of their ideas in a slightly daft way, much like having a conversation with someone but your really talking to yourself, so you can sort out your thoughts.

And if they are actually pursuing this path of suicide through aikido then theres not much that I can say or do to stop them, telling someone to get help from a shrink isnt going to do much good. We dont know who this person is or have any real indepth views into their circumstances, so what kind of practical help can we offer? People have already voiced their opinions on whether this is a good choice or a bad one and I think someone gave a helpline number or link or something, thats about it. Like most everything in life, suicide is a choice you make, you think about it and then you either do it or you dont. Looking on the bright side, it should hopefully take a long time for this individual to be killed in practice, perhaps several years before he recieves the fateful koshinage and breakfalls incorrectly. Hopefully they have the time to think some more and find a different direction for their frustrations.

At least they arent going to grab a gun and blow their brains out straight away and then regret it, so to speak. Sorry if I've rambled, but i wanted to explain myself.

PeaceHeather
04-26-2004, 12:30 PM
Si Wilson (siwilson) wrote:
First - if someone is serious about suicide, they kill themselves, not talk about it.

Then Drew said:
This is nonsense. Many suicidal people begin talking about it, hoping (thinking hope but not feeling hope) that there may be another alternative. Suicidal people may have exhausted all internal methods of finding a way to live happily. Some of them begin turning to others for ideas and guidance.

I have known a couple people whose jobs were to deal with mentally or emotionally disturbed or ill people, and they both said something similar to what Si Wilson did. That's not to mean that they're not seriously *considering* suicide... My friend Don worked in the psychiatric ward of a hospital for a while, so I'll just paraphrase something he said on the topic:

"The ones who talked about killing themselves we didn't worry about, because they were either just saying it for attention, or hadn't yet made up their minds one way or the other about whether they were going to actually do it. The ones we worried about were the ones who *stopped* talking about it -- because they'd made their decision."

So, someone posting here to the web, in a very public forum, about committing suicide, is probably either being tongue-in-cheek, or is looking for help as you said -- searching for alternatives, for people to convince him that there are other options. A person who is actually going to commit suicide probably isn't going to post about it -- if anything, they'll mention it to a close friend or two, not an entire crowd of strangers, which is what this forum most resembles.

Make sense?
Heather

SeiserL
04-27-2004, 07:04 AM
IMHO, when we are at our best, happy and creative, we are not very busy in our minds. When we are at our worse, depressed and suicidal, we are overloaded in the mind. It is the mind and its comparative self-judgment that creates most problems.

Aikido is excellent, but it is not psychotherapy.

Don't try to figure it all out alone. None of us have seen our own faces without a mirror.