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minasaek
12-04-2000, 04:43 PM
A friend of mine is doing aikido for several years and he told about it so now i am taking some courses too.But i have noticed that he behaves in a deal of superiority to the others .In fact he is always calm and doesn't let common daily problems get to him...i find it difficult and perhaps fake this behaviour of his because i cannot believe people can get life calmness by practicing Aikido, eventhough ipractice myself for months now.
what do you believe?
please tell me , because he is getting me very nervous with this calmness and "superiority" to all deals and problems he face...:)

Perhaps some opinions would clear my thoughts...thanks!


MHNAS

We all can be better if we just try it!

Nick
12-04-2000, 07:14 PM
Aikido doesn't teach you how to deal with problems in a calm manner, it teaches you to better know yourself and realize what's important in life, so that those details seem inconsequential. I'm coming up on a year of training, and looking back, I've become much more slow to anger, calm, basically a better all around person than I was a year ago, and I believe Aikido had a pivotal role. I only hope I can continue to progress as I continue on this strange journey called life...

Nick

Richard Harnack
12-04-2000, 09:22 PM
There are those people who seem to literally embody the calmness we train in Aikido. They are quite irritating to be around, particularly when they seem able to glide through problems we find throw us for a loop. Consequently we, because of our own inadequacies, impute to them a "superior" attitude, they do not assume one themselves.

Then there are those people who are struggling to maintain a semblance of calmness by repressing their negative emotions. Such as the desire of the parent to throttle their teenager when said teen wrecks the family auto. These people are more common.

Calmness is something which requires practice and the ability to shift one's perspective. When our 16 year old daughter totalled her mother's car (she rolled it on the freeway with five other kids in it, not one bruise because all wore seat belts), she called me first. I picked her up, looked at her mother's car, gave her a hugh and told her it was good she was alive. I then called my wife and told her that our daughter had been involved in an accident and was all right -- and by the way your car is now junk. As my wife later explained to our daughter, it was good that I was there, since her first, second and third inclinations were to wring her neck.

The problem is that I am easily disturbed by silly things, which my wife finds amusing. So there you have it, in major tragedies, I am the calm one. In life's minor irritations, my wife is much better. Her calmness in such bothers me on occasion because I feel the innate husbandly suspicion that she is superior. :)

crystalwizard
12-04-2000, 10:03 PM
When I was younger and had small children under foot it became necessary to get a grip on my incredible temper so i didn't kill or abuse them. Not something that was at all easy to do and at the time I hadn't even heard the term Aikido let alone practiced it.

One of the things I found helped me alot was to constantly ask myself if what was happening was going to matter in 6 months..in 2 years...in 10 years..
Helped me get perspective on how serious the situation was.
The other thing I found real effective was to force myself to keep my abdomin relaxed. Try this the next time you are tense. Concentrate on feeling relaxed through your entire abdomin. it's just about impossible to get emotionaly upset if you are actively trying to relax that part of your body. And that makes it a lot eaiser for you to react calmly to what is going on around you.

aikilouis
12-05-2000, 01:20 PM
Aikido does not give superiority. It helps me find my place in life. It's a challenging activity that makes me reconsider my priorities in my environment (other people), personal values, and makes me more humble. And I need it.
Sorry if I didn't express myself very clearly, but English is not my mother tongue.

LR Joseph

tarik
12-05-2000, 02:19 PM
minasaek wrote:
But i have noticed that he behaves in a deal of superiority to the others.


Is this purely his calmness, or is there something else that bothers you about his attitude?

In fact he is always calm and doesn't let common daily problems get to him...i find it difficult and perhaps fake this behaviour of his because i cannot believe people can get life calmness by practicing Aikido

My personal experience contradicts yours. I wouldn't say I got it only from practicing Aikido, but Aikido and HOW I have practiced are certainly a big part of it. It's there if one is interested in it.

I do happen to think that calmness is a superior way to handle problems, but I don't think that makes me superior.