Getting shouted at, again

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[john2054]

I don't like it, i don't want it, and i sure as hell don't deserve it.

To whom it may concern,

if you choose to shout at me in your club

i reserve the right not to attend

i think for far too long there are much too many people in the world of martial arts, and indeed the world in general, with far too big egos, and far too little skill.

If you really think you are that much better than me, that you can shout at me, why not demonstrate it in practice by your skills on the mats, and at home, rather than by shouting at me. Which may well serve to 'put me in my place', but damn it, you sure like seem a bully in doing so.

I'm sorry to have to share this on here, but you know i don't deserve it, if my dad wants to shout at me, fair play to him. And the same for any other member of my family. But for a martial arts instructor, i'm sorry but you don't have that right or privilege.

They should be grateful for me choosing to attend their classes, and bring the years of experience i have, in karate Judo randori, and now Aikido to the mats. Instead i yet again find the curse of those of have stepped outside the box, hanging round my neck.

I don't have to put up with it. My piano teacher doesn't shout at me. My daughter doesn't. And i'll be damned if a black belt will neither.

Rant over.

[Riai Maori]

For every action there is a reaction. So far you have explained the reaction. What was your action or actions that caused this reaction?

[john2054]

nice truism. falls down here though i'm afraid

the universe is much bigger than you can possibly imagine

it isn't always possible to connect causes to effects.

only the ignorant eye would believe as much

in fact i have done a lot for that club, indeed all of them

and they were in the wrong.

[Walter Martindale]

What was the shouting about?
When I was a judo blue-belt (2nd kyu if I remember) I yelled out "Shut the F___ up" at the dojo sensei and the guy I regarded as my sempai, because I got tired of the shouting from them about opportunities I was missing - among other things. I told them I was tired of getting crapped on, basically. They explained that junior guys don't shout back at senior guys, not to use that language in the dojo, and that they're yelling at me because they thought I was getting relatively good and they viewed it as encouragement.

So - what type of yelling were receiving - supportive? Harsh criticism of your technique? - might help respondents understand.

[lbb]

nice truism. falls down here though i'm afraid

the universe is much bigger than you can possibly imagine

it isn't always possible to connect causes to effects.

only the ignorant eye would believe as much

in fact i have done a lot for that club, indeed all of them

and they were in the wrong.

You are telling your story and no one can tell you different. So why tell it here? No, we don't know that you were "in the right". Believe what you want to believe, but don't ask us to validate your version of events as the truth.

[fatebass21]

John,

If I recall you posted about starting at a new dojo recently following problems at a previous dojo. Are there now similar problems at the new dojo? Just tying to understand the timeline that way the 'common denominator' can be identified and addressed.

Also, you mentioned your mental health is now in control.

I see previous posts about whether you should have even started this thread, but perhaps you know the reasons for these struggles and why you posted here.

Help us help you out...

[john2054]

What was the shouting about?
When I was a judo blue-belt (2nd kyu if I remember) I yelled out "Shut the F___ up" at the dojo sensei and the guy I regarded as my sempai, because I got tired of the shouting from them about opportunities I was missing - among other things. I told them I was tired of getting crapped on, basically. They explained that junior guys don't shout back at senior guys, not to use that language in the dojo, and that they're yelling at me because they thought I was getting relatively good and they viewed it as encouragement.

So - what type of yelling were receiving - supportive? Harsh criticism of your technique? - might help respondents understand.
I wasn't shouting. They probably wouldn't want me discussing it on here, to be honest with you.

You are telling your story and no one can tell you different. So why tell it here? No, we don't know that you were "in the right". Believe what you want to believe, but don't ask us to validate your version of events as the truth. i have a family, a wife and a step daughter. That gives me some credibility.

John,

If I recall you posted about starting at a new dojo recently following problems at a previous dojo. Are there now similar problems at the new dojo? Just tying to understand the timeline that way the 'common denominator' can be identified and addressed.

Also, you mentioned your mental health is now in control.

I see previous posts about whether you should have even started this thread, but perhaps you know the reasons for these struggles and why you posted here.

Help us help you out...
I think i will follow the old Sensei's advice i had at my old club, and quit Aikido altogether. At least, i don't like it how all of the wolves pounce, at the first smell of blood.

[Demetrio Cereijo]

i think for far too long there are much too many people in the world of martial arts, and indeed the world in general, with far too big egos, and far too little skill.
For sure.

BTW, how is the BJJ going?

[fatebass21]

Good luck John

[john2054]

For sure.

BTW, how is the BJJ going?

I ordered and received the video box set, and then we did the first lesson in the park, and no more. Damn it.

[john2054]

Good luck John

Thanks Chris...:triangle:

[SeiserL]

I tend not to like being yelled at or being unappreciated.
I have learned to just bow-out and walk-away.

[Walter Martindale]

Sounds like an unfortunate situation in the dojo from which you are leaving. IMO the only shouting that should happen at a dojo are "GOOD!!" (or equivalent) or "STOP!!" (or equivalent), when someone does something well, or when someone does something outright dangerous - respectively. Kiai is a completely other thing.

If you're being shouted at for anything else, it's a good place from which to take your leave. Sorry to see (from your other thread/post) that you're leaving aikido.

Not knowing your situation (and it's your right to keep it to yourself), while the above may be quite shallow, I feel it's the basis of appropriate dojo behaviour. You're paying (or, you were paying) a fee, the dojo owes you "best practices," or at the very least their best efforts.

[dps]

I don't like it, i don't want it, and i sure as hell don't deserve it.

To whom it may concern,

if you choose to shout at me in your club

i reserve the right not to attend

i think for far too long there are much too many people in the world of martial arts, and indeed the world in general, with far too big egos, and far too little skill.

Amen brother. You are paying then you are the boss, not sensei or other students.

dps

[john2054]

Sounds like an unfortunate situation in the dojo from which you are leaving. IMO the only shouting that should happen at a dojo are "GOOD!!" (or equivalent) or "STOP!!" (or equivalent), when someone does something well, or when someone does something outright dangerous - respectively. Kiai is a completely other thing.

If you're being shouted at for anything else, it's a good place from which to take your leave. Sorry to see (from your other thread/post) that you're leaving aikido.

Not knowing your situation (and it's your right to keep it to yourself), while the above may be quite shallow, I feel it's the basis of appropriate dojo behaviour. You're paying (or, you were paying) a fee, the dojo owes you "best practices," or at the very least their best efforts.

It's not that thanks. I think maybe i over reacted. But i really felt the world getting on top of me, in recent years...