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Mary Eastland
07-29-2014, 10:19 AM
Is it easier to blame some one else rather than take responsibly for how we feel?

Not in the long run because it is a lie. Lies cause tension in the body and contribute to rigid thinking.

Stiff mind, stiff body.

Relax the mind and the body relaxes. Relax the body and the mind relaxes.

Uke grabs, holds tight and doesn't move like we think they should. We can feel how we feel and chuckle at the need to blame.

Then we can relax and do our best with the technique that we are learning. We can ask for help if we need it. Blaming another or ourselves is not an effective training tool. It distracts us from what we can change: our bodies, minds and spirits. :)

Mark Uttech
08-09-2014, 06:37 AM
Grabs and holds are distractions from our freedom of movement. I have found that people do grab you in awkward situations, sometimes to stop your movement, but also sometimes to stop their own stumbling or falling movement. Tenkan and Irimi are tailormade training tools for this type of life situation and it remains an unpredictable part of your life, so you can never say that you have learned it and mastered it and can set it aside for some other thing. My two cents.
In gassho,
Mark

SteliosPapadakis
08-09-2014, 11:55 AM
Grabs and holds are distractions from our freedom of movement. I have found that people do grab you in awkward situations, sometimes to stop your movement, but also sometimes to stop their own stumbling or falling movement. Tenkan and Irimi are tailormade training tools for this type of life situation and it remains an unpredictable part of your life, so you can never say that you have learned it and mastered it and can set it aside for some other thing. My two cents.
In gassho,
Mark

While reading this, I was thinking of long term relationships... how true! :(

Keith Larman
08-09-2014, 04:15 PM
"Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering."

- Yoda

:eek:

James Sawers
08-09-2014, 09:11 PM
"Ignorance leads to fear, fear leads to lies, lies lead to suffering"

- James Darwin (but, I think he got this from Buddha)

kewms
08-09-2014, 10:13 PM
Sometimes, uke is wrong.

Or at least not moving in a way that facilitates his own training.

It is not a lie, it is not "blaming" to point this out.

Katherine

Mary Eastland
08-09-2014, 11:03 PM
Uke is never wrong. Uke can't make nage feel anything. Only nage can feel what nage feels.

kewms
08-10-2014, 12:13 AM
Uke is never wrong.

I used to say that, too. I no longer think it's true. Ukemi is a skill, and as such getting it "right" requires just as much practice and training as nage waza.

Uke can do things that are potentially dangerous, to himself or to those around him. Uke can do things that are martially stupid. Uke can do things that subvert the technique being practiced, meaning that nage's best response will be something different.

To say that uke is never wrong denies uke the opportunity to learn.

Katherine

Mary Eastland
08-10-2014, 07:14 AM
Good point, Katherine.

I see I need to be more specific. When I am training and I am nage my uke is my uke. I accept them as they are at that moment. Since Ron would be teaching if I am training I do not make corrections for uke. I wait for him to see what he wants to correct or not correct in each instance. Except of course if uke is doing something that is potentially dangerous to either of us or the rest of the class. Or if they are brand new and just have no clue.

When I am teaching I make corrections in my class for uke and nage.

Janet Rosen
08-10-2014, 11:47 AM
Every dojo culture is different. In many, a senior student partnered with a junior student is expected to provide, not a lecture, but some guidance.
I personally when in my "home dojo" very happy to accept feedback from any partner because 1) Sensei cannot be watching every body at every moment and 2) my partner and I are directly feeling what is going on. So if my partner is junior and is delivering off target attacks, or rooting after the attack (making it not only harder for me to train but even more important setting himself up to be hurt as uke) I DO say something - again, brief, not a lecture! And if someone my junior has something pertinent they felt, like "you gave me back my center there" I am happy to know it - again I may have been aware of it but not exactly where it happened and Sensei cannot be everywhere. We learn and grow together.

Again, each dojo does have its own culture and norms.

kewms
08-10-2014, 11:50 AM
That all sounds very reasonable. Different situation, different training agreements.

My comments were inspired by a situation I ran into recently where my partner was unconsciously anticipating what I was about to do, and responding before I actually did it. Which caused the planned technique to not work, but also left him overcommitted to a particular course of action. With a large experience difference between us, I guess I could have just flattened him repeatedly. But by explaining what was going on, I gave him the opportunity to learn how to take more dynamic ukemi, and myself the opportunity to actually work on the specified technique.

I agree with your core point, though. If, instead, I had mentally declared him a "bad uke" and decided to force the specified technique regardless, things wouldn't have turned out so well. It probably wouldn't have worked, for starters, as he is very strong. And even if it did, the escalating tension wouldn't have helped either of us learn.

Katherine

lbb
08-11-2014, 09:06 AM
Uke is never wrong..

Yes, and neither is the customer :rolleyes:

Diana Frese
08-28-2014, 02:07 PM
hi mary i was just thinking of you after reading Linda Eskin's column she mentioned in her blog which I happened to find this afternoon looking for some inspiration organizing the household in the midst of repairs. My husband is off on another job and it is time to think about the human dynamics of projects undertaken with friends, one of whom is a former student of mine. Your thread is peirfect for this, also the comments, many from writers I have liked and respected for years. Thanks, you all! I hope to do better with things around here when they come back...

Currawong
08-29-2014, 08:19 AM
I was contemplating the thought recently about maintaining our one-point (such advice is written on a sign in the toilet in the mens' change rooms here, amusingly) and it occurred to me that one could lose it emotionally as well as physically, as when I realised how to maintain it in my daily life, a lot of tension disappeared.

I had realised more completely that it was the reason I have been -- I was going to say "doing some techniques badly" -- doing poorly in some aspects of my Aikido and I feel it is related to internal fear and tension. This is my self-reflection on this topic.