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View Full Version : Attitude is your Aptitude.


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gcsr
05-06-2014, 12:15 PM
I don't know if any of you guys and gals have seen or had the pleasure of seeing this but here is my incite on something going on their is a student at my dojo will call Mr.White cause he's a white belt and other guys in the dojo will can Green belts.. Well Mr.White has to work on techniques with the greenbelts and he must take guidance from the Dan Grades, well to make a long story short this guy has a crummy attitude and does not work well with others and has been training for about 8 months with us and has remained at white.. The flip side of the story is we also have another "White-belt" and he has already made it to his greenbelt in three months. Now this guy is a quick study and a pleasure to do techniques with now my question would be to my friends here do you think it makes a difference in promotion or is it that he realy has not grasped how to flow and do techniques.

Everyone's input on this is welcomed.:triangle: :square: :circle:

kewms
05-06-2014, 12:53 PM
I think that would be a question for your instructor. None of us can see Mr. White's technique.

Probably his bad attitude has contributed to his lack of progress, either directly ("I'm not promoting you until you shape up") or indirectly ("You'll never learn anything with that attitude."). Eight months without what is usually a pretty routine promotion does suggest that the dojo is quietly encouraging him to leave.

But, again, this is really a question for your instructor.

Katherine

gcsr
05-06-2014, 01:12 PM
That is what I was thinking. Katherine he seems to COMPLAIN alot.

I've been in it for minimal time now only 1yr and 6 months and I've know from the get go that thier would be soreness and aches at my age but this guy/girl is 10 years younger than me and seems to complain alot.

But as you said maybe I'm just not seeing the real picture..

kewms
05-06-2014, 02:09 PM
Some people are just complainers. And in some settings, complaining is more socially acceptable than it is in most dojos.

If, after eight months, he's still actually sore all the time (as opposed to just whining), there's a good chance he needs to spend more time stretching and otherwise paying attention to his off-mat recovery. Not that it sounds like he'd be all that open to being told so.

Katherine

gcsr
05-06-2014, 02:24 PM
U see that's what I was thinking Sore all the time? Hmmmmm Wierd huh?

lbb
05-06-2014, 03:10 PM
"... first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye."

It's a mistake to judge someone else by their rank and how long they took to get there (or how long they've been there). It's a bad habit that will negatively affect your own training if you indulge in it.

gcsr
05-06-2014, 04:16 PM
Ah also a good point do not judge I see the error of my ways now.. to learn one must step besides himself or herself?

Janet Rosen
05-07-2014, 11:04 AM
I don't know about complaining but I do know that it took me over a year to do my first ranking and longer periods for future ones...some of us are slow learners and that's the way it is.

Meanwhile this guy is showing up, right? Even though he probably gets some negative feedback about his attitude. So there is something he finds beneficial in showing up and training. Maybe he is slowly learning something besides techniques that he needs to learn?

I can't say because, even if I were on the mat with him, I can't read minds. Just suggesting a few things that come to my mind.

lbb
05-07-2014, 01:42 PM
It took me over a year just because of timing. It's 60 hours (= days of training), which I'm sure I had within six months (I honestly didn't keep track), but there wasn't anyone else ready to test, so it ended up being a year and about four months. I didn't mind, because rank didn't affect anything -- I went to the same classes the day after the test as I went to the day before the test, I wore the same belt, sat in the same line, practiced the same techniques.

Joe Ricard
05-07-2014, 01:57 PM
My whole family is studying Aikido. However for my Wife it is more of a social event and that is just fine because everyonce in awhile she learns or remembers something. So the reason Mr. White is what he is may be just that he is there for friendship or company.

Don't run him off but rather include

gcsr
05-07-2014, 02:16 PM
Alot of good examples I want to walk in his shoes to try to understand what is bothering him but when I try to make head way he acts even crazzier well I'll try some of these approaches and see what happens.

lbb
05-07-2014, 04:12 PM
Alot of good examples I want to walk in his shoes to try to understand what is bothering him but when I try to make head way he acts even crazzier well I'll try some of these approaches and see what happens.

Maybe, instead of trying to understand him, it would work better to just step back and let him be. I don't mean ignore him, I mean accept that you don't have to understand him. You don't have to "get" his motivation, his issues, or his limitations, whatever they may be. You don't have to "walk in his shoes" (and maybe it's overreaching to presume that that's even possible, if you get my meaning). To be a good partner, I think you just have to accept that his reasons are sufficient for him -- and he's the only person they need to satisfy, no?

Janet Rosen
05-08-2014, 11:37 AM
Maybe, instead of trying to understand him, it would work better to just step back and let him be. I don't mean ignore him, I mean accept that you don't have to understand him. You don't have to "get" his motivation, his issues, or his limitations, whatever they may be. You don't have to "walk in his shoes" (and maybe it's overreaching to presume that that's even possible, if you get my meaning). To be a good partner, I think you just have to accept that his reasons are sufficient for him -- and he's the only person they need to satisfy, no?

Yep

fatebass21
12-09-2014, 07:02 PM
Don't run him off but rather include

I agree with Joe here.

In fact, I wonder if what everyone thinks is complaining is possibly a recurring injury. He may feel as though he is just sore but perhaps there is really something going on.

I wonder if you approach him and show concern and ask if he has looked into his recurring soreness with his physician; would this work to turn his attitude around? :circle: :square: :triangle: