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View Full Version : Best Techniques for the Zombie Apocolypse


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Richard Stevens
10-30-2012, 09:43 AM
In the spirit of Halloween I was curious exactly what everyone's go-to technique would be when faced with a single zombie or even a hoarde. Undead randori! :drool:

My favorite techniques, which I've lovingly nicknamed mean-nikkyo, wouldn't get the desired response so I'm thinking something along the lines of aikinage would be appropriate. Of course breaking out the shinken would be first priority. :disgust:

chillzATL
10-30-2012, 10:14 AM
well, you didn't state if said zombie's are the classic shamblers or those new-fangled runners. Of course, everyone knows shamblers are the only real zombies, but it's best not to assume.

If it's just one, outwalk it and save your energy.

if it's a group, shamblers have worse balance than the typical aikidoka and also attack far more woodenly. You can just grab one by the arm and sliing it into the group. Chances are good they'll topple over and you can walk on, rinse and repeat as needed.

note: Careful with atemi to the face. A scraped knuckle on a tooth might as well be a bite. It's not worth the risk when pain and distraction aren't going to help.

note 2: Cardio, cardio, cardio.

phitruong
10-30-2012, 10:16 AM
before you talk about techniques you need to know the zombie rules. you can find the list of rules here http://www.zombielandrules.com/

since zombies don't feel pain, therefore, all those pain compliant techniques won't work. empty hand techniques would just delay the inevitable of you get eaten. so break out the shiken and go to town. don't forget the double tap rule. you see this problem in many movies when folks don't follow the double tap rule, and ended up with the bad guys getting up and shoot you in the back. of course aikido folks will get eaten first, because of the harmony and loving toward your attacker attitude. :)

Mark Harrington
10-30-2012, 11:00 AM
There's a book of zombie stories that has a story about aikidoka. It involves katanas and other bladed weapons. Keeping range on a zombie is important when a scratch or bite is fatal.

Rob Watson
10-30-2012, 02:35 PM
Lot's of fat slow friends who will no doubt run interference while one makes a getaway. And guns, lots of guns - and even more ammo. And fences on top of thick stone walls with a deep moat with fast moving water filled with sharks with fricken laser beams - and many mastif/irish wolf hound mix dogs. And spam (killing zombies makes one peckish).

ChrisHein
10-30-2012, 02:44 PM
All Buki waza!

Chonin
10-30-2012, 03:14 PM
Jo staff + giant size Hershey's Dark Chocolate bar= Move like a beam of light; Fly like lightning, Strike like thunder, Whirl in circles around a stable center.

phitruong
10-30-2012, 06:35 PM
All Buki waza!

including kabuki? i am no actor, but wouldn't the zombie hate it just as much as normal folks? :)

GMaroda
10-30-2012, 11:14 PM
The best technique against zombies? Headgroin! Headgroin! Headgroin!

http://.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D_7a3z5lUzaY&ei=UqWQUL-WOani0gG2z4GIBw&usg=AFQjCNFw6Y7nIvHa1nKt0Jj5t6tqlsLDTQ

Ameri-do-te is truly the ultimate martial art. Everything else is bull....

Neal Earhart
10-31-2012, 10:24 AM
Kotetsu + Kesa or Gyaku Kesa giri = Headless zombie

Rinse and repeat on the hoards...

:) :crazy: :grr:

Rob Watson
10-31-2012, 12:02 PM
Or one of these set about neck high.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0IOTgSisueg&feature=related

phitruong
10-31-2012, 08:08 PM
Or one of these set about neck high.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0IOTgSisueg&feature=related

ooohhhh i want one of those. can you mount some sort of flame thrower on it?

Malicat
11-01-2012, 08:02 PM
In the spirit of Halloween I was curious exactly what everyone's go-to technique would be when faced with a single zombie or even a hoarde. Undead randori! :drool:

As always, Master Ken has the answer!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_7a3z5lUzaY&feature=bf_next&list=PL0D483ACB23E84EE2

--Ashley

OwlMatt
11-03-2012, 01:29 AM
I think you'd have to stick to techniques that keep your distance from the zombie's bite. That means iriminage is probably out, as is any kind of kokyunage that has nage sticking his hand in uke's face.

Richard Stevens
11-09-2012, 08:18 AM
You could always keep a pair of those big Ono Ha Ittoryu kote. In all seriousness I proposed a Zombie Apocalypse mitigation plan as the subject of my master's dissertation. For some reason they thought it wasn't a good idea...

Rob Watson
11-09-2012, 03:40 PM
I proposed a Zombie Apocalypse mitigation plan as the subject of my master's dissertation. For some reason they thought it wasn't a good idea...

Wait, they think it is a good idea just to hang out with zombies? Talk about disconnected from reality!

Krystal Locke
11-10-2012, 09:58 AM
You could always keep a pair of those big Ono Ha Ittoryu kote. In all seriousness I proposed a Zombie Apocalypse mitigation plan as the subject of my master's dissertation. For some reason they thought it wasn't a good idea...

The CDC did much the same. That is some awesome. http://emergency.cdc.gov/socialmedia/zombies.asp

I'd like to remind the folk in the compound that while I am old, fat, not into breeding and do not have huge stockpiles of ammo, I do know how to make both biodiesel and ethanol from common household items.

Krystal Locke
11-15-2012, 01:48 AM
And why did nobody tell me about this gem?

http://asianwiki.com/Yoroi:_The_Samurai_Zombie

phitruong
11-15-2012, 09:50 AM
And why did nobody tell me about this gem?

http://asianwiki.com/Yoroi:_The_Samurai_Zombie

i see your samurai zombie and raise you one ninja zombie http://www.ninjazombiesfilm.com/

however, pirate zombie trumped them all http://www.tomsmithonline.com/lyrics/zombie_pirates_in_love.htm :D

lars beyer
11-16-2012, 12:03 PM
my favourite weapon would be this !

https://www.tvbgone.com/cfe_tvbg_main.php

:D

lars beyer
11-16-2012, 12:14 PM
my favourite weapon would be this !

https://www.tvbgone.com/cfe_tvbg_main.php

:D

“You can use TV-B-Gone® to control access to television for philosophical or practical reasons, or simply to have fun!“
—Mitch Altman, Inventor of TV-B-Gone®

RuteMendes
11-23-2012, 01:23 PM
Aikido for a zombie apocalypse? ahah Well, I guess the best technique for a yellow belt like me would be the "RunForYourLifes-nage" yeah xD ahahah
Now, seriously, maybe Kokyu Nage? Or something with bukiwaza... i don't know! Anything except Iriminage o.O too much contact with a zombie!

Neal Earhart
11-23-2012, 04:07 PM
Now we need techniques for the impending Space Alien invasion....

Nick Hentschel
11-30-2012, 03:41 PM
Aikido vs. zombies would be a first-rate exercise in RUN-dori, I think!

I'd rather use Kyudo: at least I could put an arrow in their brains.