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guest1234567
02-15-2011, 04:18 AM
When I go in our dojo early after bowing to the photo of O'Sensei before we begin our class I greet all the collegues, some of them with two kisses in both cheecks. When they pass a test we also congratulate them with two kisses. When we go to a seminar we greet the collegues we know with kisses and when we meet new ones do the same. I kissed Ch. Tissier when I saw him in Malaga after going to 2 of his seminars before. We everytime kiss Frank Noel Sensei when we see him again and when we say good bye. I think it is a good custom in Spain and in most of latin countries in Argentina too, but there we use only one kiss.I asked a friend of Gran Canaria who lives in Kobe, Japan about japanese customs, he told me it would be very strange if I would do so in Japan, although they would understand because I'm not japanese. I think it is good to express the feelings.
I wonder how it is in your countries?

grondahl
02-15-2011, 04:47 AM
Do you think that cultures that doesn´t kiss people when they greet dont express the same feelings?

. I think it is good to express the feelings.
I wonder how it is in your countries?

guest1234567
02-15-2011, 04:57 AM
Do you think that cultures that doesn´t kiss people when they greet dont express the same feelings?

Maybe, I don't know, I'm used to that since childhood, for me the other form is very cold. I also use that with my children, when we speak by phone I cannot kiss them but can say that I love them. I like this warm form a lot.

Eva Antonia
02-15-2011, 05:10 AM
Hi,

in Belgium there is also the custom to kiss people on one cheek when greeting. But one of our teachers tells us NOT to do that on the tatami, that would be impolite. The other kisses on the tatami...

For me it doesn't matter. I can as well live with a kiss, an embrace, a handshake or a bow. Whatever is locally accepted. That's for aikidokas or colleagues...with my kids, obviously, I'd feel very sad if there were no kisses or embraces!

Best regards,

Eva

guest1234567
02-15-2011, 05:24 AM
Hi Eva,
I like your countrymen a lot, they always give 3 kisses:)
About the northern countries, people change when the live in Spain, they almost inmediately take our customs. I have a swedish collegue, who is just like a canarian:)

Demetrio Cereijo
02-15-2011, 05:34 AM
I'm thinking of Brezhnev meeting Tissier...:D

guest1234567
02-15-2011, 06:08 AM
I'm thinking of Brezhnev meeting Tissier...:D

Better Putin who does Judo:D
By the way I found an interesting article about unexpressed feelings
http://www.positive-way.com/newpage3.htm

Mary Eastland
02-15-2011, 08:39 AM
I was raised and still live in the Berkshires of New England. We are not big kissers. I shake hands when I meet someone or want to congratulate them.
I notice that people from the city (new York or Boston) and Long Island seem to be more about kissing.
Interesting.
Mary

Hellis
02-15-2011, 09:46 AM
When I go in our dojo early after bowing to the photo of O'Sensei before we begin our class I greet all the collegues, some of them with two kisses in both cheecks. When they pass a test we also congratulate them with two kisses. When we go to a seminar we greet the collegues we know with kisses and when we meet new ones do the same. I kissed Ch. Tissier when I saw him in Malaga after going to 2 of his seminars before. We everytime kiss Frank Noel Sensei when we see him again and when we say good bye. I think it is a good custom in Spain and in most of latin countries in Argentina too, but there we use only one kiss.I asked a friend of Gran Canaria who lives in Kobe, Japan about japanese customs, he told me it would be very strange if I would do so in Japan, although they would understand because I'm not japanese. I think it is good to express the feelings.
I wonder how it is in your countries?

Hope that does not catch on here :yuck:

I will keep a sponge and towell ready just in case:)

Henry Ellis
http://aikido-books.blogspot.com/

guest1234567
02-15-2011, 09:56 AM
I was raised and still live in the Berkshires of New England. We are not big kissers. I shake hands when I meet someone or want to congratulate them.
I notice that people from the city (new York or Boston) and Long Island seem to be more about kissing.
Interesting.
Mary

Thanks Mary, The people from the citys are taking our good costums:)

guest1234567
02-15-2011, 09:57 AM
Hope that does not catch on here :yuck:

I will keep a sponge and towell ready just in case:)

Henry Ellis
http://aikido-books.blogspot.com/

:D :D then better do not come here, because if you would, I'd tell every female collegue of the dojo to give you three kisses:D

Demetrio Cereijo
02-15-2011, 10:01 AM
Thanks Mary, The people from the citys are taking our good costums:)
Why do you qualify them as 'good'?

Hellis
02-15-2011, 10:02 AM
:D :D then better not come here, because if you would, I'd tell every female collegue of the dojo to give you three kisses:D

Carina

I am already packing :) x

Henry Ellis
http://aikido-books.blogspot.com/

lbb
02-15-2011, 10:12 AM
I was raised and still live in the Berkshires of New England. We are not big kissers. I shake hands when I meet someone or want to congratulate them.
I notice that people from the city (new York or Boston) and Long Island seem to be more about kissing.

I don't, and I've lived in both places and I work in Boston now. I never see people in Boston kiss in greeting unless they're very close friends, and even then it's unusual...sort of like it's a European affectation perhaps.

guest1234567
02-15-2011, 10:17 AM
Why do you qualify them as 'good'?

I should say they are good for me:)
Demetrio for you the offer I did to Henry is no valid. If you came to our dojo you would receive from all of us many iriminages, or any other throw technik you like:D

Janet Rosen
02-15-2011, 10:21 AM
I don't, and I've lived in both places and I work in Boston now. I never see people in Boston kiss in greeting unless they're very close friends, and even then it's unusual...sort of like it's a European affectation perhaps.

Depends on which urban subculture you are part of. In the arts, more common. In some ethnic communities, more common. But usually NOT the double or triple kiss, so I 've never seen it as European.
Most of my older E Coast friends, like me, are kissers; here in Calif a simple hug is much more common. In the dojo, we bow.

guest1234567
02-15-2011, 10:29 AM
A hug is also nice Janet, it is warm.. We give a hug to encourage somebody who needs it

Demetrio Cereijo
02-15-2011, 10:51 AM
If you came to our dojo you would receive from all of us many iriminages, or any other throw technik you like:D

I'll pull guard. If done right no can defense :)

Dave de Vos
02-15-2011, 12:04 PM
It depends a bit. Close relatives kiss hello and goodbye. Friends and coworkers may be kissed when congratulating. We kiss three times on the cheek. And men don't kiss men.

guest1234567
02-15-2011, 12:17 PM
Yes I know Dave, I work with many dutch men and women together, all the reps taking care of our tourists..

ninjaqutie
02-15-2011, 03:35 PM
I don't kiss anyone as a greeting and if I don't know you, you aren't getting a hug either. Call me cold or whatever, but that is just too personal for me. I will shake hands though. If I get to know you a bit, then a hug or kiss may be warranted upon a greeting, but other then that... no touchie please.

I have been in the awkward situation of being hugged and kissed by a stranger and though I didn't take offense to it, I didn't exactly welcome the gesture. I can usually tell if it is made with sincerity, so it is hard for me to really be offended by it.

To each their own I guess. As for people in NYC being kissers, all of my friends in NY aren't big kissers. I imagine it depends on your circle though. If your family or area you live in tends to be oriented towards a certain ethnicity, then I can easily see this happening.

In my family/friend circle gestures like that are reserved for good friends and family. I have no problem hugging a dojo-mate if they passed an exam (if I have known them for any length at all).

guest1234567
02-15-2011, 04:42 PM
It is ok Ashley it is just what you get used since childhood, what you learn at home, at school. I grow up in Argentina and are now living almost 30 years in Spain, here it is strange if you don't greet somebody with a kiss, for you it is the other way.

Hellis
02-15-2011, 05:01 PM
Carina

When I read your posts, I smile sometimes at your exuberance for Aikido and life, with respect, you have almost a childlike enthusiasm
for all things.. There are few on here that I bother to reply to, or would care to meet.... If ever I get the chance to get some sun on these old bones in Gran Canaria I will visit your dojo.

Henry Ellis
http://aikido-books.blogspot.com/

guest1234567
02-15-2011, 05:06 PM
Thank a lot Henry, you'll be very welcome:) Yes I like aikido very much and enjoy it a lot with our nice group. Next saturday the 19th we'll have a free open door aikido training in the evening, the 3 teacher of our group will do a part, it sure will be very interesting..

Hellis
02-15-2011, 05:15 PM
Thank a lot Henry, you'll be very welcome:) Yes I like aikido very much and enjoy it a lot with our nice group. Next saturday the 19th we'll have a free open door aikido training in the evening, the 3 teacher of our group will do a part, it sure will be very interesting..

Carina

Keep that door open.

I am going to Albuquerque New Mexico USA soon, to work on my
next book, and possibly my last.
I can assure you that I would love to visit Gran Canaria again and collect all those kisses from your female students as promised.:)

Take care

Henry Ellis
http://aikido-books.blogspot.com/

guest1234567
02-15-2011, 05:23 PM
:):):)

Tenyu
02-15-2011, 05:26 PM
I spent my senior year of high school in Zaragoza and I really liked the direct display of affection. I found it much easier to get used to then the hugs which are common here.

guest1234567
02-15-2011, 05:32 PM
Yes, it is. With 18 I went for the first time to Germany, I found a good job, but after 18 month I left and went home to Argentina, even I lived with my aunt, but I missed the easy and warm relation. So I understand what you felt in Zaragoza.

Carsten Möllering
02-16-2011, 06:15 AM
... I missed the easy and warm relation.
Do you really think that "easy and warm relations" depend on the customs of kissing, or hugging?

And, on the other hand, when visiting countries with this custom I experienced the kissing of people I didn't know as just a formal "ritual" just like shaking hands or bowing. There is nothing more in it. It's just another distance ...

at last:
Here where I live, kissing when greeting is only done by members of the "fancy-schmancy scene" (never heard this word in english. My dictionary gave it: trendy types, in-types ... Know what I mean?)
So kissing when greeting can have the connotation of superficiality here.
(If you are not french ... The spanish, portugese or italian people living here don't do it. Only the french. Don't know why? Just my personal experience.)

phitruong
02-16-2011, 06:23 AM
so any country that has custom such as this?

(from Meet the Spartans)

Messenger: You just kissed me!
Leonidas: That is how men great each other in Sparta: high-fives for the women [high-fives Margo] and open-mouthed tongue kisses for the men!

just want to know so i can prepare meself if i travel through :D

guest1234567
02-16-2011, 06:42 AM
Do you really think that "easy and warm relations" depend on the customs of kissing, or hugging?

And, on the other hand, when visiting countries with this custom I experienced the kissing of people I didn't know as just a formal "ritual" just like shaking hands or bowing. There is nothing more in it. It's just another distance ...

at last:
Here where I live, kissing when greeting is only done by members of the "fancy-schmancy scene" (never heard this word in english. My dictionary gave it: trendy types, in-types ... Know what I mean?)
So kissing when greeting can have the connotation of superficiality here.
(If you are not french ... The spanish, portugese or italian people living here don't do it. Only the french. Don't know why? Just my personal experience.)

Hi Carsten,
My mother is german and my father was, so nothing against Germany, but it was the first time that anybody said "Sie" to me, in english that difference doesn't exist, but that put you on distance, in Argentina or Spain we also have TU or USTED, but we say USTED very few times, many people doesn't like that because it makes you somehow old... And also the weather in Germany, for a 21 year old is was really sad...

Demetrio Cereijo
02-16-2011, 06:43 AM
So I understand what you felt in Zaragoza.
What I felt in ZGZ was a public water supply with the most horrible taste ever.

guest1234567
02-16-2011, 06:52 AM
What I felt in ZGZ was a public water supply with the most horrible taste ever.

Demetrio here in Gran Canaria we only drink water from a bottle, we have no water..

guest1234567
02-16-2011, 06:55 AM
And Carsten yes sometimes it is kind of ritual, but not always...
It is just how you get used to. For me shaking hands or bowing it seems very cold, and more if you do to children.

NeilWebb
02-16-2011, 06:55 AM
Love this topic, it's always been something that's fascinated me!! Here in the UK, there's no real formal customs for greeting people, and therefore it can be a bit of a minefield. For example, sometimes if you move towards someone to greet them you can see the confusion and uncertainty in their face, then you go to shake their hand and the hand is really unenthusiastic.

Personally, for close friends I have these rules, for chaps, a handshake and hug, and for ladies a hug and a kiss on the cheek. For those you don't know well, I would normally just stick to a handshake.

I have to admit I like the Spanish/French greeting style, however I do find it colder without the hug. I'v hugged in france while doing the kissing thing, and you get a very strange look! LOL!!

Thanks for posting this topic, I could go on for hours about it!!

guest1234567
02-16-2011, 06:57 AM
Thanks Neil:)

Janet Rosen
02-16-2011, 09:27 AM
What I felt in ZGZ was a public water supply with the most horrible taste ever.

Sure you weren't in New Jersey? :-)

lbb
02-16-2011, 09:45 AM
My mother is german and my father was, so nothing against Germany, but it was the first time that anybody said "Sie" to me, in english that difference doesn't exist, but that put you on distance, in Argentina or Spain we also have TU or USTED, but we say USTED very few times, many people doesn't like that because it makes you somehow old...

...and if you ever go to Korea, you will find that even very close friends will always use the equivalent of "Miss" or "Ms." when speaking to you, even if they are close enough to use your first name (which in Korean society is very close indeed). I don't think it means what you seem to think it means, though.

guest1234567
02-16-2011, 09:57 AM
Of course Mary, for you it might mean one thing and for me another. Not long ago in Spain and Latinamerica children had to call their parents you like usted, so Mr or Mrs. Things and costums change. I only am talking about what I think and what I like.

C. David Henderson
02-16-2011, 09:57 AM
Nobel Prize laureate and zen monk Thich Nhat Hanh, who most people would agree comes across as a warm and loving person, has talked about his initial discomfort when he came to the United States in 1966 and Corretta Scott King (the wife of fellow laureate Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.) gave him a warm hug in greeting. Later, after becoming comfortable with the custom, he created what he called "hugging meditation."

It's easy to misunderstand another culture's unspoken rules about personal space and touching by reading into them the messages or intentions or personal qualities of one's own, in my opinion.

guest1234567
02-16-2011, 10:07 AM
Nobel Prize laureate and zen monk Thich Nhat Hanh, who most people would agree comes across as a warm and loving person, has talked about his initial discomfort when he came to the United States in 1966 and Corretta Scott King (the wife of fellow laureate Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.) gave him a warm hug in greeting. Later, after becoming comfortable with the custom, he created what he called "hugging meditation."

It's easy to misunderstand another culture's unspoken rules about personal space and touching by reading into them the messages or intentions or personal qualities of one's own, in my opinion.
Thanks Charles, the same as I said to Mary " I only am talking about what I think and what I like." and if I go to another country I'd do just what they are used to...I wouldn't kiss or give a hug to anybody who doesn't like it.
I'm talking about that I like our costum and feel very happy living in a country like Spain :) I don't think I would move to any place where people are different..

Demetrio Cereijo
02-16-2011, 10:20 AM
I'm talking about that I like our costum and feel very happy living in a country like Spain :) I don't think I would move to any place where people are different..
Well, I've travelled a bit around Spain and in some places I've felt as I were in a totally different country from my own.

I believe there is 'Spain' and there is 'reconquered lands" :D

Carsten Möllering
02-16-2011, 10:36 AM
.. I like our costum ...
Maybe this is the feeling everybody has about the customs of his or her country?
Being at home doesn't only mean the landscape.

guest1234567
02-16-2011, 10:38 AM
Maybe this is the feeling everybody has about the customs of his or her country?
Being at home doesn't only mean the landscape.

For me it means first the family, but also the weather and the sea, I lived almost all my live beside the sea.

C. David Henderson
02-16-2011, 10:39 AM
Well, as I never tire of saying, please address me as David.

And you're surely entitled to you feelings and thoughts.

I personally enjoyed visiting Espana both times I had the opportunity to.

Still, let me ask you -- if the point of this thread is to celebrate some perceived features of "Spanish" culture (even if for understandable reasons) why do you see this a spiritual topic and not an open discussion?

Was it not your thesis in the OP that it is good to physically express these emotions? Did you not ask what folks do in other countries?

Why retreat behind "that's just my opinion" when you get responses to your question suggesting you look beneath appearances?

It seems to preclude a meaningful exchange.

guest1234567
02-16-2011, 10:40 AM
Well, I've travelled a bit around Spain and in some places I've felt as I were in a totally different country from my own.

I believe there is 'Spain' and there is 'reconquered lands" :D

Demetrio if you come to Playa del Inglés, you could think that you are in England, Ireland, Germany, Nederlands or Norway depending in what part you are and what bar you are visiting:D

guest1234567
02-16-2011, 10:48 AM
Well, as I never tire of saying, please address me as David.

And you're surely entitled to you feelings and thoughts.

I personally enjoyed visiting Espana both times I had the opportunity to.

Still, let me ask you -- if the point of this thread is to celebrate some perceived features of "Spanish" culture (even if for understandable reasons) why do you see this a spiritual topic and not an open discussion?

Was it not your thesis in the OP that it is good to physically express these emotions? Did you not ask what folks do in other countries?

Why retreat behind "that's just my opinion" when you get responses to your question suggesting you look beneath appearances?

It seems to preclude a meaningful exchange.
Sorry David, I'm not so used to this forum to distinguish what post belongs to what item. Tell Jun to put it wherever he likes, I don't care.
Yes I think it is always good to express emotions good or bad, it is not good to keep them inside.
And I agree with you that it is easy to misunderstand another culture's unspoken rules about personal space and touching by reading into them the messages or intentions or personal qualities of one's own. Everybody costums deserves respect.

AsimHanif
02-16-2011, 10:53 AM
Quote:
Mary Eastland wrote:
I was raised and still live in the Berkshires of New England. We are not big kissers. I shake hands when I meet someone or want to congratulate them.
I notice that people from the city (new York or Boston) and Long Island seem to be more about kissing.

I'm from The Bronx so we usually just give a head nod:-)

C. David Henderson
02-16-2011, 10:58 AM
I would suggest to you a spectrum of colors may lie between "expressing" emotions and "keeping them inside," which may be illuminated in the nuances of other cultures in ways that cast new light on what it is to be human.

Respecting others' customs and trying to understand the human experience as expressed through another's culture are really not the same thing.

In the trying to understand there may lie something "spiritual;" in the former I sense only pitying forbearance to announce a judgment privately held.

guest1234567
02-16-2011, 11:49 AM
David it is more simple than that, I just asked how it is in the country of everyone in this forum and almost everybody understood that and replyed.
Thanks anyway...

C. David Henderson
02-16-2011, 12:17 PM
Well, that's not really all of what you said or what you meant, but that's all right. I also went back and counted five people who questioned your premises, but that's all right too.

Its your thread, carry on.

guest1234567
02-16-2011, 12:50 PM
But what do you think I meant? Maybe so it is easier for me to reply. Do clear questions..

Diana Frese
02-16-2011, 03:19 PM
Not to interrupt, Carina, but there is a friend of mine with whom I still talk on the phone, and I haven't been to Boston in thirty years.

I met her at a summer camp and her teacher's teacher was Kanai Sensei so also her teacher at seminars and camps. He was famous for handshakes, that must be what he picked up from American culture. He was also famous for hanmi, which I tried to learn, to keep balance since I am rather tall.

Chiba Sensei wrote in an article that Kanai Sensei, whom he called "Hanbei" would sometimres appear suddenly and he did when I was showing Ginny the Kanai Sensei handshake (in Aikido style hanmi)

"What that?' he asked with an amused expression on his face (he still had an accent at the time) Maybe he thought we were practicing on our own outside of class.

What could I say, we couldn't lie to him.

"The Kanai Sensei handshake."

"Uh oh," I thought, he's gonna be mad at us for mimicking him.

"That's funny" he chuckled, and disappeared again leaving us speechless amazed at what had just happened.

So later when I had students I passed it on to them.

I hope this fits into your question about learning different customs!

guest1234567
02-16-2011, 03:28 PM
I like that a lot, thanks Diana.

Carsten Möllering
02-17-2011, 01:48 AM
For me it means ...
What I tried to say:
You are used to kissing and to let people very near (I mean literally the space, the centimeters ...) from being a child on. You learned it this way and so you are famliar with it and you like it. Because you are famliar.

I learned that kissing someone has a completely different meaning. I learned to feel comfortable with another distance when greeting someone. So I am familiar with an like this different custom. And because of having experienced this all my life, I know how to judge it. I am able to feel the warm relation in it and I can easily get to someone even not coming him or her near in centimeters.

Same with "Sie" and "Du". I know this from being a child. And it doesn't hinder anything when meeting another person. I just know how to deal with it without thinking about I. I can feel the other person right through.

But: I can not "feel" the other person when he or she comes near like when kissing for greeting or when using "du/tu ..." I have to remember myself: This is not a friend who is near. This is just someone I just met. Behaving like a dear friend is just a custom in this country. ....

note: In northern Germany there often is no "Sie" but just the "Du" like in Scandinavia.
In the Netherlands (u) or France (vous) there is the equivalent "Sie" at least for strangers. And in the US I experienced with "Sir" something we have no real expression for in German. (I think.)

It's all just about what we know in a deep sense and what we are used to.
Endo sensei last week called exactly this our jail/prison. ;-)

guest1234567
02-17-2011, 01:53 AM
Yes, Carsten, that is nicely said, thas is also what I wanted to explain, it is always what we are used to. Even when people move to another country, like here to Spain they get very fast used to our costum.

Carsten Möllering
02-17-2011, 03:50 AM
Even when people move to another country, like here to Spain they get very fast used to our costum.
Same here.

We have a little spanish community here in my hometown. And they also acclimate fast.

Well but this is natural because if you don't respect the customs of the community you live in, you simply send the wrong signals. You are just not understood and con not express yourself in the right way.
So the spanish people who live an work here just shake hands when meeting. Or nod.

I think it is always good to express emotions good or bad, it is not good to keep them inside.This is a different point.
Well, you can express emotions in very different ways - if you want to. And as I said: I can "read" people who live here.
And they usually can "read" my emotions.
I can not read the emotions behind certain costums, which are connected to love, friendship, family and so on in my context. But are used in other cultures also in different oder just "normal" contexts.

But: Whether it is desirable at all to express emotions or not is a question in its own right, I think. And there are different answers in different cultures for different reasons.

For you it may be desirable to express your emotions directly. I don't like this and I become nearly suspicious when someone does in a "normal" context.

Maybe I don't get your questions or statements right because I assume that people are a little bit informed about different costums in different countries. So I am looking for the question behind the question ... ;-)

Demetrio Cereijo
02-17-2011, 04:29 AM
So I am looking for the question behind the question ... ;-)

Is the 'spanish' way of expressing feelings culturally superior and more benefitial than the ways you calvinist heathens heretic tall & blonde people use?

(joking of course)

Carsten Möllering
02-17-2011, 04:46 AM
you calvinist heathens heretic ooops, I'm lutheran. So only heretic but not heathen.
Only very few calvinists round here.

tall & blonde people ...
Is 1.68 m really tall in Spain?

Must be a nice country ...

Demetrio Cereijo
02-17-2011, 05:29 AM
Is 1.68 m really tall in Spain?

Slighty over average (because I'm 1.65 and I define what is average)
:)

Must be a nice country ...
Something between Portugal and France :D

guest1234567
02-17-2011, 05:54 AM
Yes Carsten I know that people get used to the costums in the country they move to generally .
I began the thread with our costums in the dojo, but it got to costums in general. With your costums in Germany do you do something together outside the dojo, like traveling together to a seminar outside your city, go out together for dinner, make a BBQ or play bowling together, something more than just have a drink in the bar beside the dojo after training?
And about beeing tall Demetrio and you, average size used to be by that. Now the young people are taller than that, maybe something between 1,70-1,75m

Carsten Möllering
02-17-2011, 06:50 AM
With your costums in Germany do you do something together outside the dojo, like ... something more than just have a drink in the bar beside the dojo after training?
One of my dohai is my closest friend and we meet outside the dojo for different activities. (E.g. I did his wedding ceremony :) )
Some others of the students are also friends and meet outside the dojo.

But besides that, the people usually just come to train. Everyone has his or her own familiy, friends, job ...
We meet to train. Just that.
Even "having a drink in the bar beside the dojo after training" is very seldom.
There are few opportunities like birthday parties or something like that and then it's mostly the elder ones, who know each other for ten or fifteen years, who atcually follow the inivitation.

Sounds harsh maybe, but aikido for most of us is not a "social activity".
Although: When someone needs the others everyone helps. Hard to describe. We are not friends, but know each other very well and often for a long time.

So there are very few social activities besides the training. But nobody misses them because the people are comming to train and not to meet people.
(There are even people who don't want the other students to know their email address.)

Demetrio Cereijo
02-17-2011, 07:06 AM
And about beeing tall Demetrio and you, average size used to be by that. Now the young people are taller than that, maybe something between 1,70-1,75m

The young people are wrong. I say average is 1.65. It's how I build my reality what really counts.

guest1234567
02-17-2011, 07:13 AM
One of my dohai is my closest friend and we meet outside the dojo for different activities. (E.g. I did his wedding ceremony :) )
Some others of the students are also friends and meet outside the dojo.

But besides that, the people usually just come to train. Everyone has his or her own familiy, friends, job ...
We meet to train. Just that.
Even "having a drink in the bar beside the dojo after training" is very seldom.
There are few opportunities like birthday parties or something like that and then it's mostly the elder ones, who know each other for ten or fifteen years, who atcually follow the inivitation.

Sounds harsh maybe, but aikido for most of us is not a "social activity".
Although: When someone needs the others everyone helps. Hard to describe. We are not friends, but know each other very well and often for a long time.

So there are very few social activities besides the training. But nobody misses them because the people are comming to train and not to meet people.
(There are even people who don't want the other students to know their email address.)

It is ok Carsten, I'm thinking that we are an exception thanks to our great teacher, he is also an exception as teacher an human beeing, we are very lucky.

guest1234567
02-17-2011, 07:16 AM
The young people are wrong. I say average is 1.65. It's how I build my reality what really counts.

Ok Demetrio I don't know actually the average in Spain, but I know more people who are taller than that than shorter.. It is just that when you were a child didn't exist the Petit Suisse:D

Carsten Möllering
02-17-2011, 07:51 AM
... I'm thinking that we are an exception thanks to our great teacher, ...
What do you mean with exception here?
I don't understand?

... we are very lucky.
I hope, you are lucky with your teacher?
But what has this to do with my answer?

Maybe meeting people, making friends and spending time together also outside the dojo ist something you expect or you are looking for when doing aikido? And maybe your teachers gives you that?

Maybe you don't imagine that other people are looking for something different when doing aikido?

Our dojo now exists for nearly 29 years. And some of us have accompanied nearly 20 of them. Without a special teacher. But just coming together, practicing, learning, going to seminars ... But not meeting often outside the dojo.
Just practicing together. ...

guest1234567
02-17-2011, 08:02 AM
We are also practicing together, our teacher is there since aprox 15 years and some of the nidan are with him from beginning. Exception because we learn a lot, because every class is a great one, because this saturday we'll have an open free aikido meeting, because we travel together, because we celebrate every birthday together, because we always have a Christmas dinner together, because when the nidan got their grade they made a barbeque and so on... I don't think there are many dojos like that...
And the most important our teacher can deal with everybody of us and don't let anybody forget his humility inside the dojo...

Demetrio Cereijo
02-17-2011, 08:18 AM
It is just that when you were a child didn't exist the Petit Suisse:D

I'm not 160 years old.:rolleyes:

guest1234567
02-17-2011, 08:22 AM
Then if it also existed in Galizia, but you didn't get it as child, otherwise you'd be a bit taller :)

Diana Frese
02-17-2011, 09:44 AM
Back in NY TK Lee was kind of the hospitality director, (second only to Sensei ) He liked Japanese food, but he said if we were really hungry we should go to Chinatown. If he liked the restaurant he would just say, eleven people, ten dishes and they would bring whatever the chef sent and it was very good.

Lee always kidded around about being Chinese, he was proud of it but had a sense of humor. He gave everyone a set of chopsticks and said if you don't reach, you starve.

One day the Central New York dojo showed up and Lee wasn't there. I had some shrimp and stuff in my six floor walkup in Little Italy (near Chinatown) I was having a little dinner for my friend Valerie and her friend and was planning to make tempura. (Also Lee's recipe, to not forget to put ice in the water when you make the batter) On Sunday. This was Saturday. I invited the Syracuse dojo and it was great fun, and they validated my cooking.

For Valerie and her friend, I just re-bought and had the Sunday dinner as planned, but out of the blue that was some dojo party with people I had never met before on Saturday. Ariff still teases my former student from my Stamford Y dojo at the summer camps that her former teacher fed his students.

I'm still crazy about the Aikido techniques years later, though I rarely get to practice, but events like that are unforgettable and build great friendships.

guest1234567
02-17-2011, 09:52 AM
Thanks Diana for sharing that with us. In our dojo it is the same, I always have to take photos and then they are all waiting to put them in facebook and in my blog. As aikido is not popular and never is in the newspaper, they are all asking if I already put everything in the blog so they can show it to their friends who doesn't do aikido.

Carsten Möllering
02-18-2011, 03:40 AM
So the "social activities" seem to be a very important part of what you want to get ouf of doing aikido?

guest1234567
02-18-2011, 03:54 AM
Carsten, I do aikido to relax after working the whole day in my job and home, so beside I train my body and relax my mind I like to enjoy what I'm doing. So we train very hard but always have something to laugh and afterwards we share something more. The success of people staying in the dojo and more people coming and registere and stay (in our island we are now the dojo with the most aikidokas) shows you that it is a good thing.

Carsten Möllering
02-18-2011, 04:55 AM
... that it is a good thing.
I don't question this!

It obviously seems to be the very right and good thing for you and for a lot of other persons. And I think it to be very important to find the places in life which are "right" or "good" for oneself.

I just asked because this aspect never has been important to me. And has not for the most people I trained with.
Coming together not only for practice but also in our spare time or leisure time was nearly never the aim of the members of those dojo or clubs where I practiced.
Sometimes it "just happens". But coming together in our leisure time is not part of our "feeling" or our self-conception.

Maybe this wouldn't fit for you. For us it works very good.
(... also the biggest place for aikido in our small town ... Even with our different concept. ;))

guest1234567
02-18-2011, 05:06 AM
Yes Carsten, when I began to train in that dojo, it was not my aim, I just liked to continue with my aikidotraining, and step by step all this good things happened.