winter thoughts

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[Mary Eastland]

The other day the sun made long blue shadows on the fresh white snow. Today we have a wintry mix. The light is even and duller, no shadows, just soft hues of grey, brown, green and blue accented by white snow.
Ukes are like that. Each day, each uke brings new opportunities to relax, blend and explore. Assumptions can be acknowledged and then let go. When resistance is met I relax more, I turn or enter as I blend and down they go. Each time I choose to stay with, to let my center return, to be committed to my uke, my practice, my growing centered feeling. I watch. I notice. I feel. I continue. No matter what my mind might think, my center knows better.
Mary

[niall]

Beautiful post, Mary. Thank you.

[Shadowfax]

That's a nice way to look at things Mary. I need to rediscover how to see the beauty and good in winter myself. Anymore I just find it very depressing and tiring. Like randori that has gone on for far too long.:sorry:

[lbb]

I like this. Winter is a good metaphor for any situation (or broadly defined class of situations) that doesn't always go just as we'd like. I don't believe that it's necessary, or even desirable, to try and convince yourself that you like it when things go this way...that strikes me as drinking the Pollyanna-flavored koolade. It's sane to say, "Hey, I don't like this," when in fact you don't. But having said that, it's a mistake to dwell on it. That's how small irritations and inconveniences get built up in our minds into a major grievance, that occupies your mind and saps your energy and blocks your vision so that you can't see the good that is there.

Not every winter day is a bluebird day; not every session on the mat is an epiphany. Some days it's just the literal or metaphorical equivalent of digging out your car. There's nothing wrong with that. Better to just pick up the shovel and get to work, than fume over the fact that you live in a world where cars need to be dug out if you ever hope to get anywhere in them.

[guest1234567]

Yes it is a great post, I saw it this afternoon and thought about our winter with tourists going to the beach.
But lbbs reply made me think that sometimes we go through a winter in our life, we live quietly, reflecting, recovering from any physical or mental injuries,disappointments, sadness, in that time we mature and grow up and when spring comes we'll enjoy again everything..

[Aikido-Sensei]

Winter.. great time for aikido - the dojo is closed and worm :)
aikidoka smells less stinky.. :D
the rain outside brings me the feeling from an old Japanese movie... :cool:

i love the smell after the rain..

[graham christian]

The other day the sun made long blue shadows on the fresh white snow. Today we have a wintry mix. The light is even and duller, no shadows, just soft hues of grey, brown, green and blue accented by white snow.
Ukes are like that. Each day, each uke brings new opportunities to relax, blend and explore. Assumptions can be acknowledged and then let go. When resistance is met I relax more, I turn or enter as I blend and down they go. Each time I choose to stay with, to let my center return, to be committed to my uke, my practice, my growing centered feeling. I watch. I notice. I feel. I continue. No matter what my mind might think, my center knows better.
Mary

PERFECT!

[guest1234567]

Reading again more carefully your post the second paragraph past the beautiful description of your winter I realized the great description of connection with uke, leaving just fluid your center. After a few years practicing you can really enjoy aikido that way.
thank you very much Mary..

[Mary Eastland]

The long blue shadows are back, stretched out long and lonely on snow broken by tiny squirrel tracks. The sun shines on snow sparkles still clinging to the evergreens. Melancholy dances in my soul.
Yesterday in our small child and parent class I watched a young girl fight for her composure when technique touched a sensitive spot. She struggled to not cry. We let her be yet still included her. Soon she suggested a rowdy game of “steal the tail” to finish class. We ended sweaty and laughing. Seeing her pain, reminds me of the cruelty of the world. Providing space for healing, however small, seems important.
Mary

[guest1234567]

Very nice description of the winter again Mary.
And about the young girl I imagine her how she fighted with herself and after that forgeting all her pain with the funny game:)
Of course it is very important, it would be good if more people would think like you.. that is the wonder of aikido:)

[Mark Uttech]

Onegaishimasu, the only wintry thoughts I have about practice is how important it is to really warm up and how susceptible one is to injury in the cold.

In gassho
Mark

[Mary Eastland]

Slowly drifting snow is changed to faery dust sparkling thought the trees by the wan January sun. My mood has shifted as easily to peace and joy and contentment. I can’t change the world or fix a sad child. I can come from a place of love consistently for myself and others. It wasn’t always so. My training has changed my perception of what is and what can be. Plain snow can turn to sparkles in a moment of quiet.
I just got back inside from an hour of shoveling show. Who needs the gym? Faery dust gets really heavy on the ground. ;o) The dojo is ready for class tomorrow morning.
Mary

[Mary Eastland]

Pink is not a color I expect to see in the winter pallet, yet there it was on the mountain top and the cloud. The cold gray sky accented the light and darker pink above. As long as I keep my expectations low and my hopes high I can be surprised daily.
Today in class we worked on exaggerating our posture, opening our chests and exposing our hearts. During freestyle I noticed one student’s posture stayed more open than usual. High hopes.
Mary

[guest1234567]

Beautiful when the clouds are pink, I like to take photos of that, all the colours of clouds.
It is good to open the chest, very positive for posture and inside growth

[lbb]

My winter thoughts du jour: spring can't come soon enough.

-14 at 7:30 in the morning, and that's not celsius.

[Mary Eastland]

The snow is barely visible yet it is falling steadily again. The trees are all outlined with white from the burly knots to the tiniest needle on the huge evergreens that surround our house. Gray sky, purple mountain, silent snow, muted white outlined greens and browns make it seem like I am alone in a quiet world.
Tonight the dojo will be warm and filled with good folks. I love the feeling of days we have class. I do winter one day at a time. I can get though another day. Soon will be the January thaw…and then spring and then July when I feel young again on the mat in the warmth of summer.
Mary

[niall]

Thanks, Mary. I like the idea of this thread. It's like a vertical blog with everything connected. Summer still seems so far away.

[Diana Frese]

Revisiting this thread because I like it, suddenly a memory from years ago in Swampscott, Mass. I was visiting a friend I had met at summer camp a couple of years previously.

I'm not sure if it was her clock or her mother's but the clock was late, therefore so were we. We only realized it when we got to the dojo and class had already started.

I think it was snowy, I'm sure it was beautiful, a crescent shaped
beach beautiful in any weather, but I think that day we were just
conscious of being late but wanting to practice anyway.

Oh wow, I know that technique, and I joined in, with the instructor's permission and forgot to warm up. Well, my shoulder wasn't too bad as a result but bad enough to be a lesson in itself.

This is just a winter's tale answering one of the posts on this excellent thread.

Now I'll go back and read the ones I may have missed. Thanks, friends, it's nice to have company on a snowy day!

[DH]

Very nice Mary
Have you noticed the blue hues and shades of grey under the full moon these days under the sky we share.
I got all decked out in my winter gear and laid out in it the other night with my dog. I have no city glare out here so I get a beautiful sky view.
Good job
Dan

[Mary Eastland]

The mountain is the color of old blue jeans, the sky so light a gray it is pearly, almost white but not. The trees are dull gray and brown, no flirty sunlight to make the colors dance. A quiet cold surrounds me, am I lonely or peaceful?
A lone crow just flew overhead. Ki exercises felt dreamlike this morning. I had better get to the grocery store before I sit for the whole morning just because I don’t want to scrape the snow off my car or hear the crunch of snow under my feet. Acceptance doesn’t mean I have to love something…acceptance means I see what is real right now…the feeling will shift as I keep moving.

[guest1234567]

Beautiful again, yes acceptance is the main thing to feel good, to accept the coldness, the rain, the snow as well as the hotness, dampness or dryness of every season..
And acceptance in the contact with every uke.

[Mary Eastland]

Thank you, Carina...and yes, acceptance of every uke turns to compassion for me after I let go of ego about how something should look or feel.
Mary

[graham christian]

Love it Mary and may I also add on a poetic note as acceptance turns to compassion......

Then perception turns to non-resistance,

Reality turns to humility,

And I enjoy understanding harmony.

Given from Hara. G.

[Mary Eastland]

What color is a shadow? Purple, absence of white, bluish black? It depends who is looking at it. The mountain looks black, the hot ball of fire is directly in front of me making me squint and shy away. Long thick shadows cover the snow that still looks fresh save for small animal tracks. All is well.
Shomen attack can make people squint and shy away…yet they are safer if they enter or turn…
What color is Ki? Is it red or deep blue? It must depend on who is feeling it. Mine feels deep and dark and good. My center got shook up in the last couple of weeks by events of the past. It is part of the process…before my ki deepens it scatters and percolates then it settles and becomes more dependable. I stay with the process…the feelings shift on and off the mat. All is well.
Mary

[guest1234567]

Thanks Mary for the nice description of the landscape.
Shomen attack should be observed and acccepted raising the arm at the same time as uke. There is no time to squint and shy away.
On the mat is no place for nothing else besides ukes attack, our center and the contact

[phitruong]

before my ki deepens it scatters and percolates then it settles and becomes more dependable. I stay with the process…
Mary

my ki is in the percolator at the moment. soon it will need cream and sugar to complete the journey. :)

[Hebrew Hammer]

Bravo Mary, quite poetic and martial at the same time. How Samurai of you. I love winter and the cold, it is indeed beautiful, especially in the mountains around Lake Tahoe. Winter to me is invigorating, crisp...more so than the summer. But I'm a gloom kind of guy. :D

[Mark Freeman]

Summer still seems so far away.

Said the man in the Northern Hemisphere! ;)

Cold blue skyed crisp winter days, beautiful to behold.

Where I live it tends to be mild, damp, grey and mizzley, so when the clear days do come along, we appreciate them all the more.

[lbb]

Blue sky? What's that?

'nother couple feet coming tomorrow...

[Janet Rosen]

Some kind of cherry or plum down the street is in full bloom here...spring's a coming.

[Mary Eastland]

Thanks Mary for the nice description of the landscape.
Shomen attack should be observed and acccepted raising the arm at the same time as uke. There is no time to squint and shy away.
On the mat is no place for nothing else besides ukes attack, our center and the contact

I agree, Carina, there is no time to squint and shy away...and yet many of us do until we can do it different. Training is process...we all have to begin training where we are and progress from there.
best,
Mary

[guest1234567]

Of course Mary I forgot, but when I see our newbies, they doesn't seem to squint or shy away:)
And of course beeing on the mat I have no time for other thoughts than the things I must do there

[Mary Eastland]

I see no mountain today. I see suggestion of a light blue shape behind filmy white. The black and brown of tree trunks and limbs contrast in the gray of the winter rain. I trust the mountain is still there though I can't see it.
Saturday's class was like that. A flashback triggered PTSD…I feel nauseous and teary and the beginnings of a migraine. I step out of class to eat a banana and to remind myself that what happened was in the past. This day I am safe. I can feel my feet on the floor. I take deep breathes.
Ron encouraged me to come back to class after a gentle hug. I finished class trusting in the process. Classes that feel the worst usually offer breakthrough. Sunday's class was focused on two beginners. In giving, I find my mountain again. It is always there.
Mary

[guest1234567]

Hi Mary,
Pls remember that after each storm and black clouds the sun will shine again. One must pass through moments like that to enjoy life again and realize how beautiful it really is and be grateful for that.
A big hug
Carina

[lbb]

Hi Mary,
Pls remember that after each storm and black clouds the sun will shine again.

Clearly you've never been to New England.

[guest1234567]

No, the closest from there I have been was in Ohio and Toronto...
But even I wrote that in figurative sense..

[mathewjgano]

As a Puget Sound native I always picture the blue sky and bright sun warming the top of, well, clouds. With that in mind, it's always sunny in the day time...and at night there are always stars shining.
...and Mt. Rainier is always there somewhere!http://vulcan.wr.usgs.gov/Imgs/Jpg/Rainier/Images/Rainier84_mount_rainier_and_tacoma_08-20-84_med.jpg

[guest1234567]

As a Puget Sound native I always picture the blue sky and bright sun warming the top of, well, clouds. With that in mind, it's always sunny in the day time...and at night there are always stars shining.
...and Mt. Rainier is always there somewhere!http://vulcan.wr.usgs.gov/Imgs/Jpg/Rainier/Images/Rainier84_mount_rainier_and_tacoma_08-20-84_med.jpg

Very optimistic thoughts, always happy:)

[Mary Eastland]

There are sparkles in the air today, the faeries must be flying. The mountain is strong and deep blue. I can see the cold. The wind chime is blowing. I believe there are tinkles and can hear them in my mind.
Last night 2 women showed up for class despite the weather. We did a whole class on ki development. The exercise that freaked me out on Saturday was more comfortable last night. I could find my center and move despite the invasive posture of the tester. Progress comes to those who train and train. Who said that? :cool:
Mary

[Mary Eastland]

Does the air always sparkle when it is cold and sunny? This morning looking out at my mountain and yard I was moved to tears by the beauty I live in. Hard choices have brought me to this life. It is totally worth every single thing I have not gotten to be right here, right now.
I may never be rich or famous yet I am rich and known and loved by some. That is enough and “Enough is as good as a feast”.
I am excited about our seminar on Sunday and happy to train tommorow.
Mary

[guest1234567]

Hi Mary,
Reading the beautiful dokas of O'Sensei, this one reminds me of this thread:
In the self-mind standing always
In the very center of it I do live
The stance (kamae) of Love is
"The Way of the Mountain Echo" (yamabiko).

- Morihei Ueshiba

[Mary Eastland]

The sun was out sometimes today. Sometimes it was so foggy the earth and the sky seemed to meet and blend. What was really nice was that it was 63 degrees. In February. After being negative 18 last week.
Our driveway is a long sheet of ice. I worked on the entry to the dojo with an edger this afternoon. I chipped away like mad for a few minutes until I was exhausted. I stopped to catch my breath…this was not going as I had planned. The ice was hard, the water from the snow on the roof was dripping down my neck and I was hot and sweaty after 3 minutes work. I pulled my hood up to stop the water dripping, put on some gloves and let the edger drop down on the ice from my center, then lifted and dropped it again. It was so easy. The ice broke up better and I was not at all tired. I let it happen just like I let uke lose balance and fall. I worked for several more minutes and got so much more done. But the really cool part was that my frustration vanished as my center was restored and the job became fun. I got to play outside in the sunshine with ice as my partner.
Mary

[guest1234567]

Thanks Mary, very nice again,always thinking aikido makes easier our daily life:)

[Mary Eastland]

It snowed today. The wind blew white waves across the barren corn fields. Sun played with our heads by shining brightly, calling us out to play. Shocking briskness greeted us as we hurried to the car tricked by yesterday’s tease.
In class this morning I felt roily. I wanted to argue and explain. We don’t. So I quieted and trained. My center returned. I was still confused but not frustrated. So much depends on the willingness to commit to myself over and over. Wanting to blame and rationalize only distract from the truth. It’s not you. It’s me. I can change one class at a time. Patience please, with the process. Spring always comes.
Mary

[Mary Eastland]

We found spring on Tuesday...it's in North Carolina...we saw a blooming pink Japanese cherry tree and daffodils and dogwood. It was 65 degrees and sunny. We are headed back to the Berkshires, three feet of snow, 3 degrees and a major renovation to the dojo finished. There is no place like home. Maybe some spring hitched onto the car and we are hauling it back with us. ;o)

[lbb]

One hopes. I'm sick of frostbite and shoveling.

[Walter Martindale]

Spring - has sprung on Vancouver Island. However it isn't even a rumour here on the Canadian Prairie - 2 March, Minus 20C...

[guest1234567]

Hi Mary, Instead of describing my place I'll put you the video of last sundays 4 hours walk, by the way the walk is good for strenghten the legs to add to aikido, the music is also from here, the first one with the timple, an instrument like a little guitar.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ovScV_9ha8

[Mary Eastland]

That is beautiful, Carina...thank you.
Mary

[Tony Wagstaffe]

Brass monkeys....:D

[Mary Eastland]

Trapped…I know I am not, but I feel that way. Trapped by the ice, the snow, by March, by winter, by giving my cross country skies away when I started Menopause. I gave away my skates too. I thought I would never want to skate again. I never wanted to dry off either after my showers. That is changing. Next year I will buy new skies. I dry off after every shower with little thought of resentment that next time I will just have to dry off again. I am not going to buy new skates. It hurts too much when I fall. The ice is very hard.

I am feeling less trapped since we came back from our speedy trip to North Carolina. We were back on the mat today. Very achy, breaky, whiney, yet there. Each fall was noticed. The mat seeming much harder than last week. I only missed 2 classes. It seemed like weeks off and hard to get jump started. Tomorrow will be better. The ice is broken and Advil helps ease the aches and pains.

My bokken fluttered the wrong way because Ron said my wrists were stiff. Of course I think he is wrong...it is my stiff shoulders. I listen anyway and relax my wrist and my shoulders relax too. It is so good to act open-minded. Then he says I am turning the wrong way. "I can't be'" I think, "I have been doing it this way for 5 minutes." He demonstrates again. Sure enough I am doing it my own way not wrong just backwards. How gentle and compassionate I am as I correct myself and turn the right way again and again relaxing my wrist and then my shoulders as the bokken arrives just a split second after my hips and all that relaxation. It is very hard to be sarcastic when one is centered.

I told the little story to class about the couple that travels with Ron and me. His negative mind is Erving and mine is Mildred. We sent them off together for a trip to Alaska but noticed that part way through Virginia they were on their way to North Carolina with us uninvited. I suggested that I throw them out into the Chesapeake Bay. Ron agreed. So I blew them off my hand out the open window to float crankily down on the choppy waters of the bay of Chesapeake.

During class I suggested that Erik think of a name for his inner critic…he said the first name he could think of was Fred, so off Fred went to sit on a rock behind the dojo until Erik let's him back in his mind room. Dora sent Lucy out to sit with Fred. Anne just kept practicing. She doesn't say much, at least out loud. Class got smoother after that. The technique was difficult. A tenkan after a slight irimi and the big relaxed sweep of the arm while uke grabbed with both arms taking a wide ride and then falling softly on the mat. If uke got all their weight on nage's arm and nage tried to lift, nage couldn't move and the mind can get belligerent wanting to blame uke. By relaxing more and moving what we can…which is ourselves, nage sweeps and turns and uke follows and falls under the draping arm. I watch the opportunity to blame my uke pass as I take direction from Ron and move as he suggests. All uke's weight disappears like Mildred and Erving disappearing into the Chesapeake Bay.

[Mary Eastland]

My children’s and adult’s aikido class is a long time in coming. It is a dream I have held for a long time. Aikido is all about communication and connection. What better place for parents and kids to hang out together than in our aikido dojo?

Right now my class is small and super fun.
I have 3 kids and 2 parents. Eric has 2 daughters, Emma and Paige and Naomi has a son Jesse. I just finished class. We were all laughing very hard as we ran and connected and stopped and started and tried to catch and get away.

Class started with a breathing exercise, and then we did some warm-ups with our stick. Then we all threw our sticks on the floor several times to see what happens when you drop your stick. You pick it up, of course. Next we did two different exercises where we hit and defended with our sticks. Then Erik did a leading and following exercise with our sticks. Then we did a throw based on the leading and following exercise and the earlier stick exercise. Unconsciously everyone seemed to get the connection because we all did very well with the throw.

Next we did back rolls. Erik worked with Jesse and I worked with Paige. Naomi sat with Emma because Emma is four and had had enough. Both Paige and Jesse felt very successful with their back rolls. They have been working very hard on their rolls and showed much improvement. Paige could go over both shoulders and Jesse could go over one much more easily than before.

We then did an exercise where you use your voice to defend yourself. When approached you say loudly “stay back” or “no” or “leave me alone”. Each person plays both attacker and defender roles. Then we did a kokyu nage where you put pointer and middle finger in the soft spot of ukes throat. If they don’t stop moving forward they gag themselves. The kids cracked up over that and when we settled down we practiced pulling nage along with us and nage escaping anyway they could. We were quite effective and had a grand time.

Lastly we played elbow tag. This game is the most fun. You must be able to run and giggle at the same time. Emma had rejoined us by now. So we had six. We ran and sweated and had a lot of joy. The last thing we did was check out. I said “who is going first?” All three of the children’s hands shot up. Jess liked that he did good back rolls and had a lot of fun with the stick. Emma liked the back rolls and the stick. Paige liked that she could do back rolls on both sides without hurting her neck. Naomi liked that the kids did such good back rolls. She had a general good time and really appreciated how Erik helped Jesse with his rolls. Erik liked the stick work and had a good time and I liked the whole darn class. Aikido is good for kids and for adults and for me. I love providing the space for parents to play and learn with their children. I feel blessed to be able to share this martial art that I love with my children’s and adult’s class. I can’t wait till next week.

[Mark Freeman]

Hi Mary,

Enjoyed your class description, it remined me of when I first started my kids and adult group up just over 10 years ago. There are two parent and child pairs that were with me then, still practicing now. And one pair that have been with me for about 6 years. It's been brilliant to see them all on their shared journey. What a great way to spend time with one of your kids eh?

I had 2 of my own start with me when they were younger, but who both went on to find other passions in music and dance.

good luck with building and maintaining the class.

regards

Mark

[Mary Eastland]

Thanks for the encouragement, Mark. I taught children's classes in the past...I wanted this to be different. I love that some of your students are still with you. Ron and I have 4 offspring between us. They have all trained a little but none wanted to keep on...Maybe one of our grand boys will?!?
Best,
Mary

[Mary Eastland]

Yesterday Ron and I practiced a short jo kata with spatulas in the living room. He was resistance at first but why not? The flippies were a little weird yet when we demonstrated before the class it worked just like I knew it would.
During Ki exercises yesterday we did a ki testing where first we tested for one point traditionally at the shoulder. Then we grabbed our partner’s arm; ryote tori, pulling gently, consciously helping them establish and develop the centered feeling. Then the puller dropped their partner’s arm randomly. If the partner was not centered and was cheating just a little it was revealed by their loss of balance.
I could feel the pull from the arm going down my legs as I focused on my center. Practicing centering is such an interesting way to experience our bodies. The head mind is quieted as we rely on our centered feeling, 2 inches below the belly button. I feel plugged in, in question and open to subtle direction. I love it!

[Diana Frese]

Hello again Mary, I always read your threads with interest. The centering exercise reminded me of a comment my husband makes from time to time. He is from another martial art and he says that it is the centering which impresses him about people who have worked on that aspect of Aikido. It's hard for me to put it into words but I know what he means. It's that the arms, etc. are connected to the hips, or, of course the one point, there is a very solid feeling if you try to budge someone. People from other martial arts are often surprised by this.

[Mary Eastland]

I understand what you are saying, Diana. I, too, am pleasantly surprised how it works every times I let it.
Mary

[Diana Frese]

Hi again, Mary, did you suspect someone from this area would post today on Winter Thoughts? Well, last week I was raking the lawn and moving old flower pots and stuff, you know I'm always saying Chuck and I are going to practice Aikido outdoors this spring... and here it is one of the scenes you mentioned at the start of the thread. Hope you all aren't having trouble driving, and thanks for teaching me to look even deeper into the snow scenes and notice the colors of the trees and the shadows and the sky...
Your thread on what is your dojo like is a winner too, people keep posting and I love reading it. Thanks again!

[Mary Eastland]

Thanks, Diana. Your encouragment and positive attitude is like a fresh spring breeze.

Mary

[Mary Eastland]

Snow falling. Snow blowing. It's another new day. Yesterday’s promise of spring is hidden behind a veil of flowing, blowing white. Yet the daffodils wait patiently ready to bloom with a little caress of sunshine. I enter into my day at though it is my uke. Paying close attention to what is through my center.
I went visiting last week to another dojo. It has been many years since I have been out and about. Things got shook up and are gently falling back into place. I appreciate Marc and George’s warm welcome and willingness to share. I am interested to see how this integrates into what I feel.
All is well.
Mary

[Mary Eastland]

Sunshine today…what options it brings. A walk? Sweep the kitchen? It is such a luxury to have these choices. Many people do not.
I think first I will get the mail and then what?
Mary

[Diana Frese]

Great to greet the day with an open mind and see what happens.
Some days are like that, you are a wise person to do that.