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trademark8806
03-19-2010, 12:02 PM
I was wordring if you guys thogut it a good idea to bring food in to your dojo? Wether it was for after class , like shring with the group or for your self.
I also wondr it it was common for your group to offten partake in sharing of food after class, like going out to eat or something? Do belive this brings your guys closser together?
On a slightly difrent note, I also wonderin if it was better to have a "frined" relnship with your fellow members or to keep you distance, what do you guys think?

Russ Q
03-19-2010, 01:10 PM
Hi Tara,

We often enjoyed tea and fruit after class (mostly on weekends) at my home dojo. This was a chance to relax with sensei and "shoot the shit". It's somehow nice to be sipping tea with your teacher and/or sempai as you settle after class - kinda intimate in a way.....

As for friendships in the dojo: of course you can make friends. My personal experience has been to keep in mind aikido will be a lifelong practice. Therefore I develop dojo friendships slowly.....and mostly within the spectrum of the dojo (social events etc.). To each their own though.

Cheers,

Russ

Adam Huss
03-19-2010, 01:21 PM
We occasionally do socials after seminars. We have a seminar coming up in may where we will order pizza or Chinese food after the Friday night class and have a social event (Sat. night being the mandatory 'going out for sushi' event).

As for friends: it's pretty hard to train with people for ten years..someone who obviously has a similar, yet unique, interest as you and not become friends. Now as far as dojo relationships go...that is a pretty big slippery slope. They usually end with one of the two people leaving the dojo...or marriage.

mickeygelum
03-19-2010, 01:24 PM
Greetings Ms Marsh,

I have a kitchen in my dojo...and I am a hanshi in the culinary arts..:D

There is nothing more satisfying and intimate as a meal shared amongst friends and family...:ai:

Train well,

Mickey

trademark8806
03-19-2010, 01:54 PM
We occasionally do socials after seminars. We have a seminar coming up in may where we will order pizza or Chinese food after the Friday night class and have a social event (Sat. night being the mandatory 'going out for sushi' event).

As for friends: it's pretty hard to train with people for ten years..someone who obviously has a similar, yet unique, interest as you and not become friends. Now as far as dojo relationships go...that is a pretty big slippery slope. They usually end with one of the two people leaving the dojo...or marriage.

I was mostly refuring to friend ship in genral nor the other way.

Rob Watson
03-19-2010, 02:25 PM
we will order pizza or Chinese food

We are strongly urged to bring home cooked food for our visitors after seminars.

The uchideshi (live in students) often have few options besides cooking in the dojo (there are some local eateries close by but money is tight). Any extra food is heartily welcomed unless it is my (in)famous wild mushroom succotash...

Usually folks have busy lives to get back to after training, so few, if any 'hang out' after class. Any lingerers are usually looking for some jiyukeiko (free practice) not snacks.

Long timers will get together 'offline'.

Last year we had some troubles with local low lifes commiting break ins so folks were ask to lock up and move along. Things have settled down quite a bit of late. I'm certain sensei would encourage folks to 'socialize' if they want (best to ask first).

ninjaqutie
03-19-2010, 04:23 PM
No food in our dojo unless we are having a social gathering, in which a tarp is laid down and covers all the mats. Water or a sports drink is allowed inside, but is kept in the back of the room and isn't allowed on the mats either. You can however eat downstairs anytime you want. :)

David Maidment
03-19-2010, 05:21 PM
We have a Chinese restaurant about ten feet away from our dojo, so there have been occasions when we've gathered around a plate of greasy food off the mat.

A small group of us usually go out to a local pub after training, but a lot of people also just clear off and go home. There are a couple of people I train with who I've also become really good friends with in 'real life', as it were.

Adam Huss
03-19-2010, 07:08 PM
No food in our dojo unless we are having a social gathering, in which a tarp is laid down and covers all the mats. Water or a sports drink is allowed inside, but is kept in the back of the room and isn't allowed on the mats either. You can however eat downstairs anytime you want. :)

Right, people don't bring snacks into the dojo for after class, but after a seminar we may have have food brought in (vice everyone going out every night after a seminar...which happens for the bigger ones). We usually set up tables (not on the mat) as we have a pretty decent amount of room.

We also usually have pizza, homemade beer, and sake after O'Soji.

Ketsan
03-19-2010, 07:32 PM
I was wordring if you guys thogut it a good idea to bring food in to your dojo? Wether it was for after class , like shring with the group or for your self.
I also wondr it it was common for your group to offten partake in sharing of food after class, like going out to eat or something? Do belive this brings your guys closser together?
On a slightly difrent note, I also wonderin if it was better to have a "frined" relnship with your fellow members or to keep you distance, what do you guys think?

There's kinda two groups in our dojo and the two groups get on really well; there's a real family feeling to our dojo.

The three seniors and a few other people from the dojo basically live in each others pockets. We're very tight knit, we all went to sixth form college and university together, we train together, in some cases work and live together. Of course that means we all drink together after training and on weekends and such. We often play paintball together. Feels like being in a small, ill disciplined, badly structured but still very dedicated army unit sometimes. :D

I think this works really well, I'm closer to my dojo than I am to my family, I see them more often, have more in common with them etc. Communication can often be, rather frank, without anyone taking any offense. Which helps; people will turn around to me and tell me that what I'm doing isn't throwing them and I do the same for them.
They're the only people in the world I can say what I like as bluntly as I like and it's taken calmly and vice versa.

If I have a problem, no matter what it is I spit it out and it gets sorted. My Aikido friends can read me like a book, I can't hide anything from them. If somethings wrong, if my depression is kicking in, I know for a fact that I can hide it from my family but the moment I step in the dojo someone will take one look at me and ask me what's wrong.

If Aikido is about connection there's tons of Aikido where I train. I once joked that we are like a disfunctional family and someone said "actually we function better than most families" and I think he was right. That's not to say we don't have friction and issues but we just deal with it.

So I say get as close to the people you train with as you can. I think one thing O-Sensei was getting at is that as humans we've become very detached from each other and that this is very unhealthy. I think we're fortunate in that we daily place ourselves in the hands of others on a physical level and if you can get to the stage where you can do the same on a psychological level the rewards are immense.

I no longer have friends that do not train, but when friends of mine who used not to train started training I found that the relationship almost immediately became much deeper and much more solid.

As for the food thing I think people should share a meal wherever possible. I think there's something deeply significant about sharing a meal.

trademark8806
03-20-2010, 12:00 AM
There's kinda two groups in our dojo and the two groups get on really well; there's a real family feeling to our dojo.

The three seniors and a few other people from the dojo basically live in each others pockets. We're very tight knit, we all went to sixth form college and university together, we train together, in some cases work and live together. Of course that means we all drink together after training and on weekends and such. We often play paintball together. Feels like being in a small, ill disciplined, badly structured but still very dedicated army unit sometimes. :D

I think this works really well, I'm closer to my dojo than I am to my family, I see them more often, have more in common with them etc. Communication can often be, rather frank, without anyone taking any offense. Which helps; people will turn around to me and tell me that what I'm doing isn't throwing them and I do the same for them.
They're the only people in the world I can say what I like as bluntly as I like and it's taken calmly and vice versa.

If I have a problem, no matter what it is I spit it out and it gets sorted. My Aikido friends can read me like a book, I can't hide anything from them. If somethings wrong, if my depression is kicking in, I know for a fact that I can hide it from my family but the moment I step in the dojo someone will take one look at me and ask me what's wrong.

If Aikido is about connection there's tons of Aikido where I train. I once joked that we are like a disfunctional family and someone said "actually we function better than most families" and I think he was right. That's not to say we don't have friction and issues but we just deal with it.

So I say get as close to the people you train with as you can. I think one thing O-Sensei was getting at is that as humans we've become very detached from each other and that this is very unhealthy. I think we're fortunate in that we daily place ourselves in the hands of others on a physical level and if you can get to the stage where you can do the same on a psychological level the rewards are immense.

I no longer have friends that do not train, but when friends of mine who used not to train started training I found that the relationship almost immediately became much deeper and much more solid.

As for the food thing I think people should share a meal wherever possible. I think there's something deeply significant about sharing a meal.

It is intresting that you talk of the conection alomost on deepter level to your Aido people( akiy or whatever they are called). I worte in my blog that I feel connced more to aikido parternes and to aikido I suppose then I do to many other people. Some told me that Aikdo in of its self lends its self to this and Like you were saying, its a trust things and deeper almost. In my short time I noticed this as well.

Linda Eskin
03-20-2010, 12:04 AM
People have brought homemade treats in (like brownies or cookies) to share after class. Very informal - not particularly hanging out, like "hey, there's a plate of cookies on the desk. Please have one." Sometimes people have also brought home grown fruits or vegetables for everyone to take a few home.

I would suggest that you ask first about bringing food, just in case there's a "no food in the dojo" rule or something. But I'm guessing it would be welcomed. :)

People do get together in groups to go out after class sometimes, and we usually go out as a big group after tests. We also have a big Spring picnic, and few potlucks throughout the year.

There are all sorts of friendships at our dojo, from just being friendly on the mat, to hanging out on weekends, to married couples.

Amassus
03-20-2010, 12:33 AM
We will go out after a shodan grading to celebrate at a nearby eatery. Sometimes someone will bring in home-made food but this is more rare.

As for friendships? I'm not that social myself so tend to come to the dojo, train, then go home again. I have a young family they are foremost in my mind.

I have made friends at the dojo but they have since stopped training and were my seniors before I entered the club. I also have a good relationship with my sensei outside of the training.

trademark8806
03-20-2010, 01:15 AM
Hi Tara,

We often enjoyed tea and fruit after class (mostly on weekends) at my home dojo. This was a chance to relax with sensei and "shoot the shit". It's somehow nice to be sipping tea with your teacher and/or sempai as you settle after class - kinda intimate in a way.....

As for friendships in the dojo: of course you can make friends. My personal experience has been to keep in mind aikido will be a lifelong practice. Therefore I develop dojo friendships slowly.....and mostly within the spectrum of the dojo (social events etc.). To each their own though.

Cheers,

Russ
ty for replying, so aikido is a more like club then a class or more like a orgnization.

trademark8806
03-20-2010, 01:16 AM
We have a Chinese restaurant about ten feet away from our dojo, so there have been occasions when we've gathered around a plate of greasy food off the mat.

A small group of us usually go out to a local pub after training, but a lot of people also just clear off and go home. There are a couple of people I train with who I've also become really good friends with in 'real life', as it were.
Is Aikido not realy life?

trademark8806
03-20-2010, 01:18 AM
ty all for replying and giving your thoughts to my questions.

David Maidment
03-20-2010, 06:18 AM
Is Aikido not realy life?

Sure. It's my whole life. But other people seem to view it as just some spare-time hobby of mine that I might do to get away from the 'real world' (and in that respect it works very well).

What I mean to say is that there are people at the dojo who I can spend time with and not have the conversation have to be about Aikido. That I do find a rarity; I get on well with almost everyone at the dojo, but with most of them the bond is over Aikido -- I don't think half of us would really be friends if we met in the work place or out and about.

Russ Q
03-20-2010, 09:50 AM
ty for replying, so aikido is a more like club then a class or more like a orgnization

Didn't say that....:-) In our dojo it is almost exclusively about the training but there are social elements. Some folks enjoy the social aspect (maybe too much....but that's another thread) and some folks don't bother with it at all....depends.

lbb
03-20-2010, 08:01 PM
ty for replying, so aikido is a more like club then a class or more like a orgnization.

What you're asking about isn't "aikido", but the social milieu of dojos, and that isn't "more like" or "less like" anything -- each dojo is different.

Anidan
03-21-2010, 07:14 PM
In our dojo after class most of us go for coffee at the nearby cafe. The first time I joined the coffee group I was a little nervous; I was still suffering the 'sensei is so much more than just a person' newbieness. I discovered to my delight that we have a real live human teaching us and that the dan grades were fun people teasing each other about all sorts of things. (And they're so much less imposing in jeans and t-shirts than keikogi and hakama!)

We have such close physical contact with our training partners, I think it's a good thing to get to know them as people outside the dojo too. I'm not saying do everything together, but finding out who else loves Dr Who or has children etc can add to your experience.

DonMagee
03-29-2010, 06:54 AM
I think far to often people worry about "proper dojo etiquette" in terms of "what would the historical teachers of old do" and not from a "what is comfortable and will allow us to enjoy our training" point of view.

If eating as a group or having a pizza part after a class is what your group would find enjoyable, I say go for it. Far to often I here people say "They would never do this in X". Who cares, your not in X. Your where you are.