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View Full Version : a matt-acognitive effort, or, interpersonal communication-ing


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mathewjgano
08-29-2008, 04:25 PM
If I stop responding directly to a poster, it pretty much means that I have nothing left good/constructive to say, or I think he/she is full of crap. That is how I handle it.
So I've been thinking for a while these days how I might better help the various conversations I've tried to take part in here on Aikiweb. I've acquired the sense that I'm not usually very useful to the kinds of things folks here seem to be trying to talk about...and maybe I'm simply looking too much to others to validate my interactions here. Still, this quote reminded me about the many times I've posted remarks expecting to get a response, yet didn't. I post knowing what I say likely contains something completely ignorant, but hoping I'll get constructive criticism. I love food for thought and this forum has been a great place for that (thank you all by the way:D ).
Ok, all that insecure mumbojumbo aside:
Does anyone have any suggestions as to how I might be more productive to the topics I've taken part in? Remember, I'm asking for opinions here, so please feel free to be as brutally honest as you care to be. evileyes
Furthermore, I'd like to expand this thread to include things people have noticed about other people/interactions besides myself (no names please, I'm volunteering, others aren't). What do you think we could do to make these topics more productive? We'll always have trolls and the like, but aside from them, what would help facilitate communication here on Aikiweb?
Take care,
Matt

SeiserL
08-31-2008, 08:29 AM
IMHO, if you stop feeding the stray cats, they quit coming around. Unfortunately, many people like to rescue stray cats.

Serenity prayer often comes to mind. Converse with those who will listen, shut up when people won't, and wisdom is knowing the difference.

I get a lot of of reading the ideas of people I don't necessarily converse with, even if I read to know what I disagree with.

Always keep it polite and to the point. Don't take it personally.

mathewjgano
09-02-2008, 07:13 PM
IMHO, if you stop feeding the stray cats, they quit coming around. Unfortunately, many people like to rescue stray cats.

Serenity prayer often comes to mind. Converse with those who will listen, shut up when people won't, and wisdom is knowing the difference.

I get a lot of of reading the ideas of people I don't necessarily converse with, even if I read to know what I disagree with.

Always keep it polite and to the point. Don't take it personally.

Great advice! Thank you for posting, Lynn. I always enjoy reading your perspective on things.
Take care,
Matt

Buck
09-02-2008, 10:01 PM
IMHO, if you stop feeding the stray cats, they quit coming around. Unfortunately, many people like to rescue stray cats.

Serenity prayer often comes to mind. Converse with those who will listen, shut up when people won't, and wisdom is knowing the difference.

I get a lot of of reading the ideas of people I don't necessarily converse with, even if I read to know what I disagree with.

Always keep it polite and to the point. Don't take it personally.

Maybe I am a stray cat, not intentionally, maybe I have been feeding them, not intentionally. Either way, it is good to have a mirror to look into. :sorry:

Kevin Leavitt
09-02-2008, 10:22 PM
Matt,

There are alot of people out there that will read your post and not make any comments at all. I have run into them at Seminars and events and they come up to you and say "oh, your THAT Kevin Leavitt". Bracing for the worst, I usually get some good feedback that they like what I post.

There are alot of people out there that read post, but never post. Doesn't necessarily mean that what you have to post is meaningless.

You probably never hear from the guys that think your FOS.
Yeah, I wonder sometimes too and wish someone would tell me that.

I try to imagine post 10 years later and going back and reading them with the perspective of time. I hope to not write something that I will look back on and go Seesh!

Anyway, Some of my Aikido-L post from way back in the day are probably in that vain!

:)

mathewjgano
09-03-2008, 02:59 PM
Matt,

There are alot of people out there that will read your post and not make any comments at all. I have run into them at Seminars and events and they come up to you and say "oh, your THAT Kevin Leavitt". Bracing for the worst, I usually get some good feedback that they like what I post.

There are alot of people out there that read post, but never post. Doesn't necessarily mean that what you have to post is meaningless.

You probably never hear from the guys that think your FOS.
Yeah, I wonder sometimes too and wish someone would tell me that.

I try to imagine post 10 years later and going back and reading them with the perspective of time. I hope to not write something that I will look back on and go Seesh!

Anyway, Some of my Aikido-L post from way back in the day are probably in that vain!

:)
Thanks Kevin. Good points. I particularly know what you mean about not writing something you'll wish you didn't. I've already had the joy of experiencing some of that:cool:...er...:rolleyes: .
The main reason I'm doing this thread is that, considering all the recent rhetoric about passive aggressives and cultural issues within Aikido (and subsequently why topics often veer off course), I'm curious how others view my little contribution to this community here online. I'm not really looking for validation per se, but I'm always curious for feedback and what better way than to ask directly?

Hebrew Hammer
09-04-2008, 08:38 PM
Hey Matt,
Sometimes its not just what you say in your posts...maybe you're not asking enough questions...in any social group, you have to become a 'made man/woman' so to speak. One way to make hay is to sollicit other's points of view and then add you're two cents worth. Thats one way to get some validation/interaction without feeling like an outsider.

With my limited experiences in a couple martial arts forums, they have their own group dynamics and you'll notice a select group of posters dominating not only the majority of posts but the prevailing opinion of the forum. Martial arts forums are, oddly enough, filled with big egos and even bigger personalities and in some cases Martial legends. This can be certainly intimidating. Aikido by nature, I think allows for more diversity but some of those other rules still apply. You might also try interacting via PM's and remember that there are many lurkers out there who dont' want to take or make time to reply. Other people don't get involved with the politics of things and only participate in the stylistic or technical aspects of the art(s).

Hang in there dude...nobody's called you an idiot...yet!!! :P

PS I agree with Kevin...sooner or later we all make a post we regret.

gdandscompserv
09-04-2008, 09:51 PM
http://redwing.hutman.net/~mreed/
:D