Zen humour

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[Jim ashby]

I was told that there were no Zen jokes. I think I've found one.
Q.What's red... and at the same time invisible?
A. No tomatoes.
My brother told me this one and I nearly spilt my beer (a crime in my Dojo). Anyone got any more?
Have fun.

[deepsoup]

Originally posted by Jim ashby
I was told that there were no Zen jokes. I think I've found one.
Q.What's red... and at the same time invisible?
A. No tomatoes.
My brother told me this one and I nearly spilt my beer (a crime in my Dojo). Anyone got any more?
Have fun.

Its a bit of a cliche, but..

Have you heard the one about the Zen buddhist who goes up to a hot-dog seller and says, "Make me one with everything"?

Sean
x

[Arianah]

What do you get when you cross a Zen Buddhist with a Druid?

Someone who worships a tree that isn't there.

Well, I thought it was funny!

Arianah

[Arianah]

Am I wrong or should this thread be in humor?

Arianah

[tedehara]

Originally posted by Arianah
Am I wrong or should this thread be in humor?

Arianah

YES you are wrong. This thread should not be in humour. :D

[deepsoup]

Another poor koan:

If a man speaks in the forest, and there isn't a woman there to hear him, is he still wrong?

Sean
x

[Arianah]

Originally posted by deepsoup
If a man speaks in the forest, and there isn't a woman there to hear him, is he still wrong?

Always. ;)

Arianah

[ranZ]

here's one about Ikkyu, the smartest young monk in the temple.

One day Ikkyu dropped his master's favourite tea cup and it was shattered. Afraid that the master might be angry he quickly thought of an excuse. Just in the nick of time because he heard footsteps of his master coming. Before the master entered his room, Ikkyu came up to him and ask "Master, why do people die". The master replied "Well, dying is part of life. Everything in the world must die someday."
"Everything?" asked Ikkyu. "Yes, everything."
"So we musn't be angry or upset if somebody dies then?" asked Ikkyu again. "Yes that is correct" said the master.

And then Ikkyu presented the broken teacup, "Master, your teacup has suffered the irreversible death today."

....

[j0nharris]

So the hot dog vendor gives the Zen Buddhist his dog, and the Buddhist asks for change.
The hot dog vendor looks at him for a moment, and says, "Change comes from within!!"

-jon

[mj]

Originally posted by deepsoup
Another poor koan:

If a man speaks in the forest, and there isn't a woman there to hear him, is he still wrong?

Sean
x

Oh wow....
That is one of the funniest things I've ever heard.

Oh...that hurts :D :D :D

[Chocolateuke]

not zen more of a hindu or buddits joke but here it is ( no offence to anyone here ok)

the devil and God are walking together down the street and a peice of paper rolles near them. God picks it up and reads the peice of paper which says "religion". the devil looks at God and says i'll orginize that for you.

I like the change comes from within one!

[kung fu hamster]

I always liked this one:

Q. Does a cow have Buddha nature?

A. Mu. Mu.

:p

[kung fu hamster]

I like these too...

Six wise, blind elephants were discussing what humans were like. Failing to agree, they decided to determine what humans were like by direct experience.

The first wise, blind elephant felt the human, and declared, "Humans are flat."

The other wise, blind elephants, after similarly feeling the human, agreed.

=============================================

"Thank God I'm a Buddhist."

- Ivan

;)