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08-20-2007, 11:30 AM
I found this while surfing the net.



Aikido Definitions
Aikido: The way of blending energy. The Aikidoka (one who practices Aikido) attempts to become one with the mat by being thrown into it repeatedly in the hope that s/he will merge with the mat. This usually doesn't happen, so the process must be repeated. Frequently.

Matte: "te" = hand, "mat" is obvious, so "mat" "te" is the art of hand-stands and walking on hands. Sometimes this results in unsuccessful blending with the mat which causes the Aikidoka to have to blend with the mat while wearing a cast. This is much harder, as the cast prevents the Aikidoka from reaching the mat.

Kiai-do: Dyslexic Aikido. Also known as "drunken Aikido", this is usually practised in bars, accompained by much shouting.

Ukemi: The art of hurling yourself at the Earth for no good reason.

Slapping out: This is the sign of an unsuccesful blending with the mat. The Aikidoka is so frustrated at not blending with the mat that s/he will hit the mat in a futile attempt to blend. It is futile because all Aikidoka know that true blending with the mat only occurs at high speed.

Nage-waza: The art of helping others to blend with the mat - the other part of what Aikidoka study.

Randori: Mispronunciation of "runned away". This is the optimal method of blending with multiple attackers.

Shodan(male): A male who is so adept at blending (and helping others to blend) that he can wear a skirt to class and nobody in class will laugh at him because he might help them learn to blend with the mat. At high velocity.

Hakama: What shodans call a skirt so they don't have to teach quite as many people to blend with the mat (see Shodan(male)).

Atemi: What you use to convince uke that your Aikido is strong enough to deal with their attack.

Shihans: Can't live with 'em; can't throw 'em.

Alternative Technique Definitions
Ikkyo: Grab their arm, affect their center.

Nikkyo: Grab their arm differently, affect their center.

Sankyo: Grab their arm differently, affect their center.

Yonkyo: Grab their arm differently, inflict pain, affect their center.

Gokyo: Grab their arm differently but a lot like Ikkyo, affect their center.

Rokkyo: A confection made with almond paste. If you eat too much it will affect your center.

Irimi nage: Don't grab their arm, affect their center.

Shihonage: Kotegaeshi on steroids.

Kotegaeshi: Sankyo on the wrong hand.

Kaiten nage: Sankyo while rotating the z axis to the xy plane. Countergrab their arm, affect their center. Alternately known as "cheap date waza".

Tenchi nage: Iriminage on both sides at the same time.

Koshi nage: Iriminage for those with ADS (Altitude Deficit Syndrome).

You know you're hooked on Aikido when...
1.The first word out of your parrot's mouth is 'KIAI!' and you teach your cat how to do mae ukemi.

2. You have more bruises than a roller derby queen, and you still go back for more.

3. You shut the refrigerator door with a shomen-uchi.

4. You shop for clothes based on whether you can practice in them.

5. The only clothes you'll wear are gis.

6. You actually crave a beach workout.

7. The books on your night stand are by authors like Morihei Ueshiba, Morihito Saito and Miyamoto Musashi.

8. The Twelve Days of Christmas becomes: one iaito, two bokken, three gi's, four rolls of adhesive tape...
...twelve cases of Tiger Balm.

9. You look for a place to live based on the amount of practice space it provides.

10. You refuse to wear shoes.

Oh, and I'm from Aikido Shinju-Kai of Aikikai Singapore. 5th Kyu. Heh.. still got lots to learn yet =)

===agatsu masakatsu katsuhayabi===

Tee. =)

08-20-2007, 12:26 PM
oh my goodness the laughter
dad is giving me funny looks from the other side of the sitting room as i randomly laugh at the monitor, i'll have to remember some of those

08-20-2007, 09:54 PM
Shomenouchi, when I think when someone does a strong shomenuchi.

08-24-2007, 05:17 PM
Thankfully i'm alone when I read this, otherwise I'd have to explain it away as something random. I noticed you don't have a common one I've been intrduced to:
Shoemunuchi: strike from above, normally using footwear removed for training purposes.

jennifer paige smith
08-25-2007, 11:31 AM
Hey, speaking of Rollerderby Queens www.santacruzrollergirls.com/

I'm teaching a team of rollerderby girls aikido and also how to fall without "crackin' z noggin' ". One girl during practice , when I described moving energy as a constant state of change that we blend with(ruthless paraphrase, sorry) , said "that sounds like life itself". I knew I was doing something right.
Now, if we can just get that atemi thing under control.......