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gdandscompserv
04-24-2007, 11:22 AM
Friday, April 20, 2007. It was the break between the two parts of our science test and I was talking to my friends in the quad. There was a bit of a circle which I noticed some of my friends by and also Kenny Dotson, Austin Hughes, and Clayton Clark and their little gang of friends were part of this circle. I asked my friend and he told me that those kids were planning to jump a Charles Bratton. The bell rang and Charles Bratton had already gone to his classroom. This gang of Austin's was quite disappointed because they had been quite psyched to jump Charles. I was kicking a pine cone to my friend Rodrigo Zamora, he kicked it back and I returned it. I ran up to him, grabbed his shoulders, and shook him a bit, saying: "Rodrigo where you been man? Haven't seen you in a while." This was the point at which Clayton, Austin, and Kenny said that I had pushed him and knocked him down. Clayton then approached me and said, "You wanna' fuck with Rodrigo? Then you gotta' fuck with all of us!" He began pushing me several times. I told him Rodrigo was my friend but he didn't listen to a word of it. Kenny moved him aside and began his pushing of me. He pushed me several times as I repeated I didn't want to fight, I had no problem with them, and that Rodrigo is my friend. He pushed me several times and on the last push I had taken an Aikido stance I know of so as not to be pushed back. He put his hand down as if he were done with me. I then turned to the office to tell of this little incident. Austin Hughes was behind me and pushed me. I stumbled and right when I turned around Kenny Dotson gave me a left hook which knocked me to the ground. I was unconcious for a moment but I'm told that James Dunham, a very, very good friend of mine, stepped in as Kenny kept throwing punches at me. He took two to the face as some other kid broke it up. He told me he had no intention at all of fighting Kenny. Just to stop him from hurting me.
Kenny, Austin, Clayton and their little gang then ran away as the teachers came to stop all of this which had already happened. I was escorted to the office along with James. James and I both had cuts in our lips. His was a deep gash due to his teeth and mine was a long series of gashes due to my braces. Top and bottom of my right cheeck was shredded to pieces. I sat in the office for the remainder of testing so as not to disturb my class. I was interrogated and went through the procedures which are usually taken after a fight. I wrote down my statement still quite dazed from being knocked out. I'm sure I made it as accurate as possible though. I was heading to Trevithick's room to get my things. As I got my backpack and headed to Ms. Weaver's for my first period math class, Austin passed me. I looked at him and he said, "You got knocked out like a bitch!" I maintained my composure as much as I could and continued the day with no serious problems from anybody. Except the frustration of being told I was knocked out and having to tell the tale time and time again.

Monday, April 23, 2007. It was lunch time and I had just got my lunch from the cart. I was heading back to my group of friends and Austin was looking at me and heading straight for me. He approached me and flexed a bit. Trying to get me to flinch at his "awesomeness" I suppose. I responded with my instinct of taking an Aikido stance and was ready to defend myself. I knew if Austin wanted to do anything about this whole situation, he wouldn't be satisfied with one knock out punch but also a series of blows while I would be on the ground. I was a bit relieved at the fact that Austin wouldn't want to ruin his day or week by getting suspended for this.

These kids are a group or even gang of kids that seriously need to be broken up. They walk around all day just itching to intimidate littler, weaker kids and start a fight with whoever they think they can take. After the incident with me, a friend of mine asked Austin why he had to be such an asshole all the time. He responded by telling her that if she didn't shutup, he would get her beaten up too. I don't know how this group decides who fights or who gets beaten up, but it was quite obvious to me that there are some kids who are at the top of this. The so called "brains" of this operation. Austin is one of these kids. Using his position of power or popularity to to talk kids into fighting innocent kids who he may not like. During the inicident, he was the main instigator and all throughout it I heard him yelling to Kenny to hit me or to beat my ass. Even when I hit the ground he was still yelling these things. These are a group of kids who are one day going to hurt somebody seriously. All this happened at school with an officer on campus and teachers or hall monitors who were close enough to stop it. I can't imagine what these kids can and most likely would do to somebody off campus in their free time.

Jebediah E Wood

John Kelly
04-24-2007, 11:50 AM
Hi Jebediah,
You are strong, and you will persevere. I respect you for standing your ground and defending yourself. It is the only thing people like these characters will understand. They choose their victims based on who they think looks weak to them, especially those who look or act differently from them. Typically, they prey on the weak, and care most about how their peers see them. It isn't about you, it is about them trying to show how tough they are. It is idiotic and will get them nowhere in life. I won't presume to give you advice. But it sounds like you have a good start on figuring out how to deal with these situations.

I was attacked in high school as well, and fared about as well as you did. It took me many years to understand my feelings and the conflicts it stirred in me. I am a very peaceful person and just could not understand why someone would attack me unprovoked. I was no threat to my opponent. We didn't even know each other. Now I am more confidant that I would fare better than before, but knowing how to fight isn't the source of that confidance-- it is knowing why to fight that changed me the most. I continue to train, and puzzle over what justifies violence, and the more aikido I learn, the more I am confidant of my abililty to avoid it.

Good luck to you and your good friend James. Be true to yourself and stay sharp.

jk

p.s. there is a good thread that addresses intimidation going on right now, check it out.
http://www.aikiweb.com/forums/showthread.php?t=11648

gdandscompserv
04-24-2007, 12:08 PM
I would like to point out that the post originating this thread is a copy of the email my son Jebediah sent to me as a result of my asking him to write down the original incident as well as any successive bullying incident's that occur at his school.
Thank you for that nice post John.

John Kelly
04-24-2007, 12:14 PM
I would like to point out that the post originating this thread is a copy of the email my son Jebediah sent to me as a result of my asking him to write down the original incident as well as any successive bullying incident's that occur at his school.
Thank you for that nice post John.

oooooooooooooooooohhhh, well. (slightly embarased) Good to know... and... you're welcome.
jk

DonMagee
04-24-2007, 12:54 PM
I was always bullied in school, beat up constantly. My parents talked to the parents, teachers and principle, it only made it worse. I hated school, I hated walking home, I hated walking to school. I was always threatened and always looking over my shoulder. I was always told by my martial arts teachers and father to not fight. At the time I thought this ment never fight. The times I tried to fight back with my TKD only made it worse on me because they were older and bigger then me.

One day I snapped, 2 'cool' guys had pushed me and hit me all day in school. I believe this was 6th grade and they were in 7th or 8th grade. I told them that if they ever did it again I would not rest until one of them was in the hospital. Sometime in the afternoon they cornered me and started rabbit punching my ribs and calling me names. I was sweeping the hall at the time as punishment for being constantly tardy to school. I kicked though the end of the mop and started swinging at them till someone (a teacher) pulled the stick from my hands. I had snapped physically and mentally and really believed if I did not end this now, I was going to die. I know that is overly dramatic, but that is how I felt. The conflict ended with one of them taking an ambulance to the hospital just as I promised.

This solved the problem for good. Until I switched to high school I never so much as had another person look at me funny. This caused me to gain confidence, and start getting into sports. Of course being more active made me more popular and by the time I switched schools I could quickly make friends and no longer did I have to worry about people wanting to fight me. I was on team sports, playing in band, and outgoing.

Had I not beat a person half to death with a mop handle, I would probably killed myself in depression or worse. I had isolated myself from everyone and was full of fear. Other kids just a few years afterwards too a different approach and gave up, we all seen those results on tv. I'm glad I was lucky enough to have a will to change my situation instead of blame it on those around me.

Edward
04-24-2007, 01:09 PM
I agree with Don. Jebediah has to learn to stand up for himself sooner or later. Until he does, he will remain the target of the thugs. If he fights back, and looses, at least he won't be on their top list, because they know he won't take it passively like others.

Roman Kremianski
04-24-2007, 01:36 PM
I know a lot of Aikido people say that "fighting" someone within a group would only escalate the situation and will get the rest of the group after, but to be honest, in high school (depends on the high school of course) things usually aren't run like in street gangs. Obviously if you're in a very bad high school where stabbings are not uncommon (these places exist/have existed), things will be different. But generally what I found while training in Aikido through ought half my high school life is that if people see you have some sort of training, they'll be more hesitant to attack you.

(Especially if you happen to floor one of them in front of the others)

Kids in high school are kinda stupid to begin with anyway. ;)
Sorry to hear you got caught with a left hook though.

Don Magee: Have you seen Art of Fighting?

crbateman
04-24-2007, 05:20 PM
Couple rules to live by:

DLGD >> Don't Let your Guard Down (Don't turn away from someone close enough to hit you.)

YCBA >> You Can't Beat them All (Fighting a group might get you some sympathy, but you'll get your butt kicked more times than not)

Then, if put in a position with absolutely no alternative:

TOTL >> Take Out The Leader (No explanation necessary)




There's no shame in NOT fighting. The only one who can truly shame you is YOU. Keep your dignity, protect your head, the other bruises will heal. Those who really matter will respect the fact that you kept your composure, and did not injure another needlessly. Remember that the guy who thinks he's the baddest invariably runs into the guy who really is. The bully will get his eventually.

gdandscompserv
04-24-2007, 07:04 PM
Personally, I am very proud of him. Do you know how rare a truly peace loving individual is? Do I want to train that out of him? I don't think so. It is a rare gem. We both hope that if the situation is severe enough, he will be able to protect himself from harm. That didn't seem necessary to him. He took the high road. Me thinks he might understand more about the spirit of aikido than many of us.
Good job son!
:D
I forgot to tell Clark thanks for the great advise. Those are good tips for all. He was knocked to the concrete with no visible sign of striking his head. Perhaps those ukemi skills contributed to that good fortune.

graham
04-24-2007, 08:22 PM
I'm afraid to say that I was once an Austin.

Contrary to what most well-meaning parents seem to tell their kids, standing up to bullies (who, we are told, are all cowards!) is no guarantee of walking away unscathed. The issue isn't whether or not you fight back, but how you do it.

Ricky, it sounds to me like your son is handling this just right. I think that if it was me I would want to discretely confront Austin on his own and explain that I'm not the kind of kid who responds to intimidation, that there's no reason we can't just forget all this rubbish and carry on, and that if he leaves me alone, I'll leave him alone. Alternatively, maybe he (Austin) wants to really say wants on his mind...

Speaking personally, and with much regret, the only time I ever stopped bullying people was when they didn't let me bully them. They either, a) turned out to be far tougher than I'd thought and beaten me up or b) shamed me with kindness, by refusing to accept my attempts to alienate myself and humiliate them.

I'd suggest giving 'b' a go before 'a'! :-)

Michael Douglas
04-25-2007, 08:53 AM
...
There's no shame in NOT fighting. The only one who can truly shame you is YOU. Keep your dignity, protect your head, the other bruises will heal. Those who really matter will respect the fact that you kept your composure, and did not injure another needlessly. Remember that the guy who thinks he's the baddest invariably runs into the guy who really is. The bully will get his eventually.
I'm sorry but I must disagree with these points.

1...kept your compusure and did not injure another needlessley.
It sounds to me like there is a need to injure the other here.
Don't take it like a punchbag, fight back!

2. ...the guy who thinks he's the baddest ... might run into some fights, some difficult situations, but there is absolutely no foundation in thinking he's going to get his comeuppance eventually.
Give him his now!

And remember : never fight fair.

John Kelly
04-25-2007, 08:53 AM
That sounds really personal, Graham, but if you don't mind I would appreciate hearing more about your experiences with being"shamed with kindness".

And Ricky, you are so right. You have a rare son.

jk

jennifer paige smith
04-25-2007, 09:25 AM
I'm sorry but I must disagree with these points.

1...kept your compusure and did not injure another needlessley.
It sounds to me like there is a need to injure the other here.
Don't take it like a punchbag, fight back!

2. ...the guy who thinks he's the baddest ... might run into some fights, some difficult situations, but there is absolutely no foundation in thinking he's going to get his comeuppance eventually.
Give him his now!

And remember : never fight fair.

Masaka Agatsu/True victory, Self Victory-Morihei O'Sensei

I would agree with these statements if we were talking about street fighting, a topic I can speak of from experience. However, let us not forget to ADD our training to our other wisdoms and be inspired not by winning or losing in conventional means, but by the creative use of time, space, and maybe an atemi. A fighting mind is not necessary to accomplish Agatsu.

A painful byproduct of fighting mind is to have your mind caught up in reaction to someone elses' violence. We surrender our freedom when we become :square: too soon.

I congratulate this young man, and others, for their commitment to strong and flexible interventions in the face of physical violence!!!! And by the way, thanks to your friends, your 'gang of good'.

jen

dps
04-25-2007, 10:01 AM
All this happened at school with an officer on campus and teachers or hall monitors who were close enough to stop it.
If the adults that are in charge don't intervene to stop Clayton and his gang, then how will the gang be discouraged to stop bullying Jebediah?

David

G DiPierro
04-25-2007, 12:44 PM
Personally, I am very proud of him. Do you know how rare a truly peace loving individual is? Do I want to train that out of him? I don't think so. It is a rare gem. We both hope that if the situation is severe enough, he will be able to protect himself from harm. That didn't seem necessary to him. He took the high road. Me thinks he might understand more about the spirit of aikido than many of us.

I would think getting knocked unconscious and having your cheek shredded would be a severe enough situation to warrant taking action to protect yourself. The "spirit of aikido" has nothing to do with allowing others to do physical violence to you, rather just the opposite. Why bother training in a martial art if you cannot or will not use it to defend yourself?

Aiki1
04-25-2007, 02:57 PM
Nothing wrong in defending one's self. In this case, if it were me, I'd have the kid who threw the sucker punch arrested imediately. In my world, if this happened in an adult situation, that's what would happen.

mriehle
04-25-2007, 03:13 PM
sucker punch

I went back and read the original message again and I have to say you nailed it here, Larry.

Anyone - and I mean anyone - can get hit by a sucker punch. That's why it's called a sucker punch. And this was a classic sucker punch. Worse, it was premeditated.

These kids need serious consequences.

But, the next time Jebediah (?) will know to look out for this stunt. If he could have done anything in this original case (which I regard as open to debate) he could have pursued the situation with the first guy (Rodrigo?) until either the guy tried to hit him or walked away.

But that's hindsight, knowing that these kids were planning a sneaky assault. Hindsight is always crystal clear, 20/20.

crbateman
04-25-2007, 04:32 PM
I'm sorry but I must disagree with these points.

1...kept your compusure and did not injure another needlessley.
It sounds to me like there is a need to injure the other here.
Don't take it like a punchbag, fight back!

2. ...the guy who thinks he's the baddest ... might run into some fights, some difficult situations, but there is absolutely no foundation in thinking he's going to get his comeuppance eventually.
Give him his now!

And remember : never fight fair.Are you insane??? We are talking about a child in school here. It is exactly the mindset you are encouraging that gets kids killed every day, and lives ruined if they survive. Shame on you!

John Kelly
04-25-2007, 05:02 PM
Are you insane??? We are talking about a child in school here. It is exactly the mindset you are encouraging that gets kids killed every day, and lives ruined if they survive. Shame on you!

Thank you for that. I've been stressing over how to best respond to that all day.

Peace,
jk

gdandscompserv
04-25-2007, 08:14 PM
Are you insane??? We are talking about a child in school here. It is exactly the mindset you are encouraging that gets kids killed every day, and lives ruined if they survive. Shame on you!
I know this; had he "fought" back, I would be dealing with the juvenile court system rather than the school administration.
Speaking of which, I am sorely disappointed in the principal's response to this incident. She is steadfastly maintaining that this was not a bullying incident and they do not have a bullying problem at the school and therefore there is no need for any type of bullying education program at the school.
:eek:
I do know she was NOT happy when she found out I had posted my son's email in this forum. Even pulled my son out of class to interrogate him about it. He called me. I zoomed over to the school to find out what's going on. She told me that posting it was inappropriate and perhaps illegal.:eek: I got a good chuckle out of that one.

Sometimes I wonder who the bullies are.

I'll be at the next school board meeting expressing my concerns though. I feel obligated. The California public school system is hanging by a thread but I aint giving up yet.

G DiPierro
04-25-2007, 08:59 PM
I know this; had he "fought" back, I would be dealing with the juvenile court system rather than the school administration.
Speaking of which, I am sorely disappointed in the principal's response to this incident. She is steadfastly maintaining that this was not a bullying incident and they do not have a bullying problem at the school and therefore there is no need for any type of bullying education program at the school.

Children are the only general segment of our society that still face the real possibility of physical violence on a daily basis, and a big part of the reason why is that they do not have the same legal protections as adults do. Violence between children is usually just written off as "boys will be boys." For this reason I often think they need effective martial arts training even more than adults do.

Given this, it is unlikely your son would have faced any legal repercussions had he "fought back," unless you mean to imply that by doing so he would have killed his assailants, and I doubt he would have been physically or psychologically capable of this. Even a police officer would not be legally permitted to respond with that level of force in self-defense against an unarmed attack. Of course, if he is training in aikido he should be (at least theoretically) learning to defend himself without "fighting back" anyway.

You are certainly right to insist that the school take action to protect its students, but that is an entirely separate issue from looking at the situation from the perspective of aikido or martial arts. The whole point of martial arts training is to learn to protect oneself before and during an attack, not to seek redress or protection from an external authority after the fact. By then, the damage is already done.

Kevin Beyer
04-25-2007, 09:14 PM
Jeb,

I'm proud of you! You stood up for your ideals in the face of adversity. It surprises me that some of the people on this forum actually tell you to fight back. Standing up to people doesn't necessarily mean fighting back. You may not have to. Aikido isn't about fighting it's about protecting. Whatever anyone says...you did the right thing!

-Kevin

Basia Halliop
04-26-2007, 08:14 AM
A lot of teachers and adults in general have a pretty murky understanding of the difference between conflict and bullying -- they are pretty different and I don't remember seeing all that much overlap when I was in school myself, even when both are just on the verbal level. But if a teacher doesn't even really undestand what each one is and isn't, I don't think they're likely to deal with either particularly well...

Roman Kremianski
04-26-2007, 08:43 AM
Are you insane??? We are talking about a child in school here. It is exactly the mindset you are encouraging that gets kids killed every day, and lives ruined if they survive. Shame on you!

Are you really that convinced that every school yard feud will result in death or serious injury? As I said in my first post, some kids just need a slap reality check. If you'll be going to the same class with a dick, might as well show him you're serious from the start. I don't know how "defeating yourself" has suddenly blurred into "getting freely smacked around". Though I still don't agree with Michael's advice. (No point in injuring the other guy, or fighting unfair.)

School system rules for fights and self defense are ridicules anyway, and have been so for a while.

paw
04-26-2007, 10:17 AM
I must not be understanding something....

Your son was attacked at school, and adults were present and witnessed this, and the attackers not only haven't suffered any repercussions, but continue to threaten others? And the principle is not taking action to insure this doesn't happen again?

If that's essentially what happened, I think you need an attorney to help you vigorously pursue this.

Regards,

Paul

Ron Tisdale
04-26-2007, 10:39 AM
I agree with Paul.

Best to your son, and if he were my son,

a) I'd really stress not turning my back on an aggressor,

b) that adults who are present are to be responsible

c) when they are not, they will deal with me.

That principle needs to see the inside of a woodshed, promptly.

Best,
Ron

gdandscompserv
04-26-2007, 10:49 AM
I must not be understanding something....

Your son was attacked at school, and adults were present and witnessed this, and the attackers not only haven't suffered any repercussions, but continue to threaten others? And the principle is not taking action to insure this doesn't happen again?

If that's essentially what happened, I think you need an attorney to help you vigorously pursue this.

Regards,

Paul
I don't have access to any of the information regarding the other kids involved and the school won't release it to me, so I don't know. I am attempting to go through the "chain of command" to insure that this situation is dealt with fairly and competently. At this point I am fairly disgusted with the school administration. It seems that the principal has a difficult time utilizing email as a form of communication. Makes me wonder what's going on and who the real bullies are.

mriehle
04-26-2007, 11:42 AM
Your son was attacked at school, and adults were present and witnessed this, and the attackers not only haven't suffered any repercussions, but continue to threaten others? And the principle is not taking action to insure this doesn't happen again?


I have a student who has defended himself several times in his school using his Aikido. Every time there were adults present watching the whole thing. Now, my student has not gotten into trouble (it was clear he just defended himself), but the adults did nothing about the incidents either.

Worse, the year after the first incident his teacher told him if he used Aikido again on the school grounds he would be expelled. Add to this the bully who picked on all the kids in school who was essentially given free reign by the school administrators. My students mother came to me to ask advice.

I turned to my student and told him that avoiding conflict was absolutely the right thing to do, but if it became unavoidable he should do what he has to do. Then I turned to his mother and told her that if the school had a problem with this they would have me to deal with and I'd help her find a lawyer.

Ultimately, the school stopped threatening my student for defending himself. Mom apparently had a meeting with school administrators. I don't know what was said (although, I could probably hazard a pretty good guess), but they dropped the whole bit about not being allowed self defense. But they've done nothing to discourage bullying either.

So, I'm not having any difficulty believing that the school is dropping the ball in Jebediah's case. None whatsoever.

mriehle
04-26-2007, 11:46 AM
Makes me wonder what's going on and who the real bullies are.

Way back in the 60's, I went to a school where the teachers not only wouldn't stop the bullies, they'd cheer them on. I really believe that many of my teachers from that school would be up on charges of child abuse in today's environment.

In an odd sort of way, though, it probably did me good in the long run. There was a racial element to the bullying in that school, so I tend not to dismiss the issue the way I otherwise might.

James Davis
04-26-2007, 12:29 PM
I was messed with quite a bit in middle and high school. I didn't "snap", but I did make a concious decision to change the way that I reacted to the bullys. I didn't go crazy, but I did decide to act crazy.

The guys that tormented me for years always did so in a group. Fighting back wasn't really an option.

I hadn't really planned on a confrontation or anything, but the opportunity presented itself when I went grocery shopping with my mom. We were checking out, and one of the geniuses was bagging the groceries. He looked over at me and said, "Hey, what's up James?" like we were lifelong pals. I said, "What? We're f_____g friends now?!" He, my mom, and the cashier all stared at me wide-eyed. I continued, saying "Eric, you and your punk friends have been threatening me and pushing me around for a long time. Your friends aren't here now, and I don't wanna hear anything out of you besides 'paper or plastic'." Nothing further was said that night.

A few days later, in history class, he came up to me and said, "Ted's gonna beat your ass." with a goofy little smile on his face. Ted was huge and scary, and we both knew that I couldn't fight him and win. I didn't look up at Eric, or Ted, from the paper I was working on. I just said "Ted can't play football on one knee." He went back and sat down with Ted, and neither of them ever said anything about it.

I never had any intentions of hurting anybody. I came to the conclusion that I was sick of living in fear, and adjusted my behavior. When I behaved as if I was just as keen for a fight as they were, they left me alone. The last few months of my senior year were much better after I made it seem that I wouldn't be the only one hurt if things got physical.

While this worked for me, I wouldn't necessarily suggest this course of action. I made a lot of people who weren't involved with the conflict uncomfortable. The change in my behavior worried some people that were close to me. I'm an adult now, and every time I think of those days I wish I could call these guys and talk with them, to tell them that I didn't really hate them or wish them harm.

Then again, hindsight's 20/20. School had an entirely different set of rules from the real world. They left me alone, and I got home unhurt.

Franco
04-26-2007, 01:49 PM
There's a difference between "turning the other cheek" and "getting your ass beat". You accomplish the former from a position of strength. You could beat the other guy to the ground, but you choose not to. If you don't have the strength, mental and physical, to fight back, then there can be no "turning the other cheek". You would just be getting beat because there is no other choice.

It seems that many parents, particularly practicing Christians, advice their children not to fight back, as if that were somehow good for their character development, but I don't agree. Children should cultivate their strength (mental, physical, spiritual). It can do no good to advise a child to allow himself to be humiliated for the sake of keeping the peace. Leave that to adults, whose strength is already developed.

Michael Hackett
04-26-2007, 02:04 PM
Your school district and the local school administrators have a duty to protect students on campus, and to and from school. If the principal of your son's school is dismissing your concerns, put them in writing. I suggest that you describe your concerns over the bullying on campus and insist on intervention. Send the letter to the prinicipal by regular mail and by certified mail as well, with a copy to the Chairperson of the local school board. Nothing quite like having a serious complaint documented in writing to move bureaucrats off their duffs.

Here in Oceanside (about two hours away from Barstow) the school board has a "zero tolerance" policy that states even fighting in self-defense is a punishable offense at school and the parties will both be suspended or expelled. This policy is more rigid than the California Education Code which recognizes legitimate self-defense situations.

As I understand your original post, there is nothing to preclude you from filing a report with the Barstow Police either. It may amount to nothing, but could likely end up with juvenile proceedings against the aggressor.

If you feel really stonewalled and stymied by the school administrators, contact your local media. Media scrutiny may also cause the positive changes you desire.

Lastly, as I recall, you have six months from the date of the incident to file a claim against the school district - a step you have to take before filing any legal action in court. That may not hold true for injunctive relief or a writ of mandamus, check with an attorney to be sure. Save that as a last, and very costly, resort, but don't forget the six month period or it could be foreclosed.

gdandscompserv
04-26-2007, 03:04 PM
Michael,
Good advise. The administration is ignoring me at this point. They either deny receiving my emails or just ignore them. I will begin sending documents via certified mail. Here is the latest correspondence from me that the Silver Valley School District superintendent is ignoring:

Mr. Jackson,
I'm concerned.
<snip, Jeb's original email to me>
I posted this in an aikido forum: http://www.aikiweb.com/forums/showthread.php?t=12436, I participate in.
Soon after, Mrs Griggs was apparently sent an anonymous email directing her to this post. She assumed that it was me.
The day she found out about the post (April 24th)Mrs Griggs decided to pull Jeb out of class and interrogate him again.

"I was copying down notes in 2nd period. We were about half way through the period on a Wednesday when a call came. My English teacher told me they wanted me in the office. I gathered my things and headed down. They had me sit down at a table for about 10 minutes before I was called into the Principal's office. Ms. Griggs began talking to me about the incident report I had written the day of the incident. I told her that I was dazed from being knocked out and that I tried to be as accurate as possible. Apparently my wording was not acceptable to them. She asked me to write another one reminding me that on the bottom portion the signature I was to put was me agreeing this statement was true under penalty of law. I felt like she was accusing me of lying, but I went ahead and filled out another with almost exactly the same information. Maybe a few different details but identical in every other way. She called the school officer to come in and go over this with her. He seemed satisfied. But, there was a bit of a dispute over it. They called Rodrigo in, the child I was accused of pushing down. She deliberately asked us both into her office and closed the door. She first asked for my part of the story which I gladly gave. Just as it was written on the two incident reports I mentioned previously. She then asked for Rodrigo's side of it. He was doing well until the part where I was accused of pushing him over. He began to studder and stumble over his words. Ms. Griggs joked with him to try to get him to relax but he simply said he couldn't remember. She then asked us to get up and stand against the door. She marked both of our heights and began looking for a ruler to tell the difference of them. Rodrigo was excused to class and I was excused to the front of the office to sit and wait. During this time the officer asked for another incident report of what happened Monday after the first incident which he told me I should have made him aware of. I gladly supplied him with this remembering that my signature was telling them it was true under penalty of law. I sat back down and waited.

About 2 periods later I was called back into the office. They began asking me why I hadn't told them of the incident on Monday which I just supplied the incident report for. I told them it was my fault and I should have. I however feel that in the past I've been through incidents like this where I do bring every detail to the administration and even school officer's attention. Nothing was done to stop any of it. This is why I didn't feel the need to mention the incident on Monday to them. I felt like I was being picked on and badgered by my own principal and school officer. I asked her why she had measured me and what point she had in this. She said that it would most likely come up later of our my height difference compared to Rodrigo, Kenny, Austin and any others involved. I didn't see this as a serious point which needed but I let that go. I'm not very good with dealing with interrogations, especially when I feel so accused and like I was being shaken down. At this point I asked if I could call me dad. She called him for me and he didn't answer so she left a message. I was excused back out to the couch to wait awhile longer. I called my dad from my phone a few times. I later learned he had been in a meeting. He called me a bit later and I told him what happened and he said he was on his way in. He got there and asked to speak with the principal. They sat down in her office with the school officer. I wasn't part of this conversation so I don't know what went on. It was around the last 10 minutes of 4th period when they called me in. The principal said that sometimes adults disagree on things but she felt they were all on the same page. She asked me what I think should be done with these bullies. I told her that I personally know that I'm not the only one who had been picked on or even hurt by these thugs. That there needs to be some kind of way for these kid to come out into the open without feeling in danger. My dad suggested a bully awareness or prevention program. She sort of shrugged of that comment. She asked if I would like to go home with my dad or stay as the school day was almost over. I was excused back to class at the end of 4th period. I had missed almost all of my school day and made it back in time for lunch and 5th and 6th periods. I saw no point in this whole process except trying to tell differences between stories and manipulating those differences to play to there advantages. I know one thing, me and my father sure got theit attention. Now I also know that if I'm called to the office, I want my father there before I talk to anybody about anything."

Jebediah E Wood.

What was next, his weight? That was a little much for Jebediah. He became quite agitated and asked if he could call his dad. They allowed that and sent him out of the office. I was in a meeting so it took a bit but I got phone messages from both Mrs Griggs and my son. I zoomed over to the school and was ushered into the principal's office. In the room were Mrs. Griggs, Officer Dilbeck, and some unknown woman from another school. Mrs. Griggs introduced her and I thought she had something to do with the investigation so I didn't say anything initially. However, as time went on, I began to think about it and decided to inquire as to her purpose in being in attendance. She replied, "Oh, no reason, I just happen to be in a meeting with Mrs. Griggs when you came in so I'd just thought I'd hang around." My jaw dropped. I was temporarily speechless. I then asked that she leave immediately. Did Mrs. Griggs violate the privacy act on that one? You be the judge.
But I digress. Back to the interrogation. Mrs. Griggs and officer Dilbeck then informed me of their displeasure regarding my posting of my son's email to me. We went back and forth about a few issues, including what seems to me, as her apparent inability to effectively use email as a form of communication. We also talked about mine and Jeb's concern that there is a bullying problem at Silver Valley. Mrs. Griggs is of the opinion that this incident was not a bullying incident, that they do not have a bullying problem and therefore have no need for any type of bullying education program, for which I have volunteered to help with. NO INTEREST. I mean come on, don't we owe it to these kids to error on the side of caution. I like Basia's comment in the aikido forum; "A lot of teachers and adults in general have a pretty murky understanding of the difference between conflict and bullying -- they are pretty different and I don't remember seeing all that much overlap when I was in school myself, even when both are just on the verbal level. But if a teacher doesn't even really undestand what each one is and isn't, I don't think they're likely to deal with either particularly well...

I left highly disappointed.
Sincerely,
Ricky Wood

James Davis
04-26-2007, 04:56 PM
I left highly disappointed.
Sincerely,
Ricky Wood

Yes, but at least you've made every effort to make changes in a cordial, orderly manner. In my opinion, you can take whatever course of action you like, secure in the knowledge that you tried to do it their way.

DonMagee
04-26-2007, 05:30 PM
Michael,
Good advise. The administration is ignoring me at this point. They either deny receiving my emails or just ignore them. I will begin sending documents via certified mail. Here is the latest correspondence from me that the Silver Valley School District superintendent is ignoring:

Mr. Jackson,
I'm concerned.
<snip, Jeb's original email to me>
I posted this in an aikido forum: http://www.aikiweb.com/forums/showthread.php?t=12436, I participate in.
Soon after, Mrs Griggs was apparently sent an anonymous email directing her to this post. She assumed that it was me.
The day she found out about the post (April 24th)Mrs Griggs decided to pull Jeb out of class and interrogate him again.

"I was copying down notes in 2nd period. We were about half way through the period on a Wednesday when a call came. My English teacher told me they wanted me in the office. I gathered my things and headed down. They had me sit down at a table for about 10 minutes before I was called into the Principal's office. Ms. Griggs began talking to me about the incident report I had written the day of the incident. I told her that I was dazed from being knocked out and that I tried to be as accurate as possible. Apparently my wording was not acceptable to them. She asked me to write another one reminding me that on the bottom portion the signature I was to put was me agreeing this statement was true under penalty of law. I felt like she was accusing me of lying, but I went ahead and filled out another with almost exactly the same information. Maybe a few different details but identical in every other way. She called the school officer to come in and go over this with her. He seemed satisfied. But, there was a bit of a dispute over it. They called Rodrigo in, the child I was accused of pushing down. She deliberately asked us both into her office and closed the door. She first asked for my part of the story which I gladly gave. Just as it was written on the two incident reports I mentioned previously. She then asked for Rodrigo's side of it. He was doing well until the part where I was accused of pushing him over. He began to studder and stumble over his words. Ms. Griggs joked with him to try to get him to relax but he simply said he couldn't remember. She then asked us to get up and stand against the door. She marked both of our heights and began looking for a ruler to tell the difference of them. Rodrigo was excused to class and I was excused to the front of the office to sit and wait. During this time the officer asked for another incident report of what happened Monday after the first incident which he told me I should have made him aware of. I gladly supplied him with this remembering that my signature was telling them it was true under penalty of law. I sat back down and waited.

About 2 periods later I was called back into the office. They began asking me why I hadn't told them of the incident on Monday which I just supplied the incident report for. I told them it was my fault and I should have. I however feel that in the past I've been through incidents like this where I do bring every detail to the administration and even school officer's attention. Nothing was done to stop any of it. This is why I didn't feel the need to mention the incident on Monday to them. I felt like I was being picked on and badgered by my own principal and school officer. I asked her why she had measured me and what point she had in this. She said that it would most likely come up later of our my height difference compared to Rodrigo, Kenny, Austin and any others involved. I didn't see this as a serious point which needed but I let that go. I'm not very good with dealing with interrogations, especially when I feel so accused and like I was being shaken down. At this point I asked if I could call me dad. She called him for me and he didn't answer so she left a message. I was excused back out to the couch to wait awhile longer. I called my dad from my phone a few times. I later learned he had been in a meeting. He called me a bit later and I told him what happened and he said he was on his way in. He got there and asked to speak with the principal. They sat down in her office with the school officer. I wasn't part of this conversation so I don't know what went on. It was around the last 10 minutes of 4th period when they called me in. The principal said that sometimes adults disagree on things but she felt they were all on the same page. She asked me what I think should be done with these bullies. I told her that I personally know that I'm not the only one who had been picked on or even hurt by these thugs. That there needs to be some kind of way for these kid to come out into the open without feeling in danger. My dad suggested a bully awareness or prevention program. She sort of shrugged of that comment. She asked if I would like to go home with my dad or stay as the school day was almost over. I was excused back to class at the end of 4th period. I had missed almost all of my school day and made it back in time for lunch and 5th and 6th periods. I saw no point in this whole process except trying to tell differences between stories and manipulating those differences to play to there advantages. I know one thing, me and my father sure got theit attention. Now I also know that if I'm called to the office, I want my father there before I talk to anybody about anything."

Jebediah E Wood.

What was next, his weight? That was a little much for Jebediah. He became quite agitated and asked if he could call his dad. They allowed that and sent him out of the office. I was in a meeting so it took a bit but I got phone messages from both Mrs Griggs and my son. I zoomed over to the school and was ushered into the principal's office. In the room were Mrs. Griggs, Officer Dilbeck, and some unknown woman from another school. Mrs. Griggs introduced her and I thought she had something to do with the investigation so I didn't say anything initially. However, as time went on, I began to think about it and decided to inquire as to her purpose in being in attendance. She replied, "Oh, no reason, I just happen to be in a meeting with Mrs. Griggs when you came in so I'd just thought I'd hang around." My jaw dropped. I was temporarily speechless. I then asked that she leave immediately. Did Mrs. Griggs violate the privacy act on that one? You be the judge.
But I digress. Back to the interrogation. Mrs. Griggs and officer Dilbeck then informed me of their displeasure regarding my posting of my son's email to me. We went back and forth about a few issues, including what seems to me, as her apparent inability to effectively use email as a form of communication. We also talked about mine and Jeb's concern that there is a bullying problem at Silver Valley. Mrs. Griggs is of the opinion that this incident was not a bullying incident, that they do not have a bullying problem and therefore have no need for any type of bullying education program, for which I have volunteered to help with. NO INTEREST. I mean come on, don't we owe it to these kids to error on the side of caution. I like Basia's comment in the aikido forum; "A lot of teachers and adults in general have a pretty murky understanding of the difference between conflict and bullying -- they are pretty different and I don't remember seeing all that much overlap when I was in school myself, even when both are just on the verbal level. But if a teacher doesn't even really undestand what each one is and isn't, I don't think they're likely to deal with either particularly well...

I left highly disappointed.
Sincerely,
Ricky Wood

I would write your local paper. Schools hate bad press. Make vague comments to recent school shootings and take a 'we must protect the children' attitude. Make sure to say the words "Think of the children". You will get a response.

Michael Hackett
04-26-2007, 06:07 PM
Ricky, here's the deal on the certified letter...there is a legal presumption that "a letter mailed is a letter received." By sending both regular mail and certified, even if the intended recipient fails to accept the certified letter, then you can reasonably presume that he received the regular mail letter and can rely on that. Hope that helps some.

maxwelljones
04-26-2007, 06:51 PM
This is infuriating. I am fortunate that I went to a competently run school system, but I find again and again that the majority of school administration in America doesn't give a damn about the quality of the education they're providing or the safety of their students. Violence is *NOT* normal behavior for any age group; "boys will be boys" means absolutely nothing when someone's teeth get smashed out. Following your entirely reasonable complaints, the school has unceremoniously guttered your sun and is now bullying *YOU* to keep you from suing their pants off. Don't let them tell you what's illegal; you need a lawyer to tell you that. They will lie to you endlessly to protect themselves.

This is the way schools are often run today, but it's the worst possible way to run a school. Violence in youth makes violence in adulthood, and for them to permit this to happen then intimidate you to keep your mouth shut is unacceptable. For the sake of your son and his classmates, I think you should pursue this matter in court, if your lawyer thinks you have a case.

Jim ashby
04-27-2007, 02:02 AM
My eldest daughter was bullied by a group of girls for over a year. When it first started I had faith in the school's own system (I was a governor). Once the bullying had got to the point where my daughter was too fearful to open the door (the ringleader would call on us, all smiles and "how are you" etc) I had had enough.
I sued.
The school tried to cover up all of the written history of the bullying.
I had copies.
The Head teacher took "early retirement".
I pursued him through the law PERSONALLY.
The main culprit was finally excluded from school, she is now 20, has 3 kids from 3 different fathers and is an addict. Shame really, her organs would have done a worthwhile human some good otherwise.
My only advice if someone hurts your kids? Escalate way WAY beyond anything they have ever seen before and make it personal.

G DiPierro
04-27-2007, 06:33 AM
My only advice if someone hurts your kids? Escalate way WAY beyond anything they have ever seen before and make it personal.

Philosophically speaking, seeking to exact revenge through legal or administrative means is no better than fighting back with physical violence. Such a strategy will ultimately be worse for the child's development than if he had fought back himself since will not learn anything from it about how to solve his own problems.

It's not surprising that children resort to bullying and violence to deal with conflicts when they see adults on both sides modeling these same reactions. Although adults are not permitted to manifest these behaviors physically and so must instead resort to verbal, legal, and other non-physical means to attempt to hurt and belittle each other, the message about how to experience and respond to conflict nevertheless is clear.

If the spirit of aikido dictates not fighting back in the face of aggression and bullying, then why would this approach not be used in response to the actions of the school's administration?

DonMagee
04-27-2007, 06:38 AM
It is not about just revenge, It is about keeping it from happening to anyone else. Failure to kill the problem will lead to suicides and columbines.

dps
04-27-2007, 08:23 AM
If the spirit of aikido dictates not fighting back in the face of aggression and bullying,

While I advocate not putting yourself in a situation of violence or walking away from a potential threat I do not advocate no response to an attack. Aikido shows us how to deal with conflicts like aggressive behavior and bullying.

The first problem is the school officials and how to get them to do their job of protecting the students.
The second problem is what does Jebediah do? How does Jebediah continue to go to school with the possibility of being attacked again?

David

John Kelly
04-27-2007, 09:00 AM
Aikido is about resolving conflicts in a peaceful manner, not avoiding conflicts or fighting when you have to. Do everything you can, use any means necessary to protect the freedoms of all involved. But try to incorporate the needs of those opposed to you. In this way, harmony is acheived, and resolution is possible. Fighting the system will just cause more conflict and less resolution. It may, in the end, be necessary to take drastic legal action, but make that the last resort. Keep it small, keep it personal. Remember, in this day and age, legal retaliation is common and almost instinctual, so the administration is probably posturing to oppose you there without even considering the situation. If you really want resolution, you will have to coax them out of that posture so they can appreciate the issues from your perspective, or more importantly, the perspective of your son.

I applaud the efforts and suggestions of training the kids to resit bullies, but that would be out of realms of known resources for the administration, and in a time of crisis and conflict, they will never really consider it seriously. Especially coming from someone involved in the issue at hand. Keep that idea and return to it when the immediate conflict is resolved. It is a good idea, but will take considerable effort to sell it to the board before in can be instated, but with the increase in school violence in the news, it should be possible to get the board of eduacation in your area to at least consider it.

DonMagee
04-27-2007, 09:05 AM
While I advocate not putting yourself in a situation of violence or walking away from a potential threat I do not advocate no response to an attack. Aikido shows us how to deal with conflicts like aggressive behavior and bullying.

The first problem is the school officials and how to get them to do their job of protecting the students.
The second problem is what does Jebediah do? How does Jebediah continue to go to school with the possibility of being attacked again?

David

Even more so is how is he going to get an education if he is constantly looking over his shoulder.

dps
04-27-2007, 09:05 AM
Aikido is about resolving conflicts in a peaceful manner, not avoiding conflicts or fighting when you have to. Do everything you can, use any means necessary to protect the freedoms of all involved. But try to incorporate the needs of those opposed to you. In this way, harmony is acheived, and resolution is possible. Fighting the system will just cause more conflict and less resolution. It may, in the end, be necessary to take drastic legal action, but make that the last resort. Keep it small, keep it personal. Remember, in this day and age, legal retaliation is common and almost instinctual, so the administration is probably posturing to oppose you there without even considering the situation. If you really want resolution, you will have to coax them out of that posture so they can appreciate the issues from your perspective, or more importantly, the perspective of your son.

I applaud the efforts and suggestions of training the kids to resit bullies, but that would be out of realms of known resources for the administration, and in a time of crisis and conflict, they will never really consider it seriously. Especially coming from someone involved in the issue at hand. Keep that idea and return to it when the immediate conflict is resolved. It is a good idea, but will take considerable effort to sell it to the board before in can be instated, but with the increase in school violence in the news, it should be possible to get the board of eduacation in your area to at least consider it.

And in the mean time how does Jebediah protect himself from the bullies, specifically if attacked again.

David

John Kelly
04-27-2007, 09:19 AM
And in the mean time how does Jebediah protect himself from the bullies, specifically if attacked again.

David

Just as any of us would do, I imagine. He trys his best to stay aware of potential danger. Avoid it if possible, confront it when necessary. Only Jeb can decide if a conflict requires his own physical response. I would encourage him to continue to train, and meditate on the consequences of violence, both to himself and others. I imagine from his writing, though, that this is not a foreign concept to him. He took a stance to defend himself when the first conflict occured. Then decided to walk away. Clearly, he is experiencing a heathy amount of fear and probably chose correctly. He let his guard down too soon, but only training and experience would have helped him there, and now he has the experience. I doubt he will fall for that one again. My point is, he instinctively assumed a defensive posture, then remained calm enough to walk away. WIth training, he will learn to just be ready to defend himself without acting defense, and he will learn to anticipate sucker punches, but that takes time. Regardless, it sounds like both Jeb and his father are taking their training seriously as a way to resolve physical conflicts, so I did not address it directly. I didn't mean to suggest that Jeb should not defend himself, I was mostly addressing the issue of the use of aikido to resolve the greater, intangible, adult conflict that this altercation has caused.

gdandscompserv
04-27-2007, 10:35 AM
Just came from principal Griggs office. I told her that I didn't feel she was being receptive to the idea of a bullying education/prevention program at Silver Valley High school. She said that elections for the school site council were in the Fall. I replied that I wanted to move forward on this without waiting for elections. I also reminded her of EDUCATION CODE SECTION 51100-51102 which gives me the right as a parent to assist schools in policy making etc. When I informed her that I had sent a certified letter to the Silver Valley Superindentent regarding my concerns, she stood up and announced, "Since you have sent a certified letter I will not speak with you any further without human resources present. This meeting is over!" She then walked to the door and showed me the way out.:eek:
Wow. I just don't know what to say here, other than Aikido training has helped me to remain very calm throughout this situation. Without it I would not be so adept at keeping my composure. This is to my advantage. Hopefully, Principal Griggs and I will eventually come to the understanding that I am not going away, that I am going to participate in my son's education, and I am going to help her make Silver Valley High school a better place.

Here is some snippets from the California Education Code:
1101. (a) Except as provided in subdivision (d), the parents and guardians of pupils enrolled in public schools have the right and should have the opportunity, as mutually supportive and respectful partners in the education of their children within the public schools, to be informed by the school, and to participate in the
education of their children, as follows:
(2) Within a reasonable time of their request, to meet with their
child's teacher or teachers and the principal of the school in which
their child is enrolled.
(3) To volunteer their time and resources for the improvement of school facilities and school programs under the supervision of district employees, including, but not limited to, providing assistance in the classroom with the approval, and under the direct supervision, of the teacher. Although volunteer parents may assist with instruction, primary instructional responsibility shall remain with the teacher.
(7) To have a school environment for their child that is safe and supportive of learning.

On a side note, this is the first time I have EVER been thrown out of a principals office.
:D

Michael Hackett
04-27-2007, 10:56 AM
Apparently you now have Ms. Griggs' attention. Keep extensive notes of all your meetings, conversations, telephone calls and correspondance, just in case the need arises. In the meantime, try and take your own witness to any further meetings with her, since she intends to have an HR representative present. If you get into an area of discussion that is confidential, object to the HR person's presence during that part of the conversation. Under no circumstances should you consider recording your conversations with the school administration covertly. As tempting as that may appear, it would probably be a violation of the California Penal Code and cause you no end of troubles. You have taken the high ground here, so don't surrender it by misadventure.

DonMagee
04-27-2007, 11:58 AM
Again, I think this should be a public affair. You will have much better success with a group of parents, then you by yourself.

gdandscompserv
04-27-2007, 04:31 PM
Apparently you now have Ms. Griggs' attention. Keep extensive notes of all your meetings, conversations, telephone calls and correspondance, just in case the need arises. In the meantime, try and take your own witness to any further meetings with her, since she intends to have an HR representative present. If you get into an area of discussion that is confidential, object to the HR person's presence during that part of the conversation. Under no circumstances should you consider recording your conversations with the school administration covertly. As tempting as that may appear, it would probably be a violation of the California Penal Code and cause you no end of troubles. You have taken the high ground here, so don't surrender it by misadventure.
All very good advise. I like that word, "misadventure." Yeah, definitely no covert recording of any type. I have considered taking my video camera and requesting permission to set it up.lol Somehow I suspect I would have been escorted to the door again so I haven't. And yes, it is being "documented"; real time.:cool: As near as I can tell they are in legal CYA mode. The administration has told me that there appears to be a problem with their email system. Mysteriously they have received none of my 5 or 6 email's. They're "looking into that.";) I dropped off printed copies of them for their edification though.
Michael,
Is getting shown out of the principals office considered misadventure?
:D
Your's and Clark's perspectives have been both constructive and valuable.
Thank you both and every one else. Talking about this here has been very thearaputic for me and my son. I appreciate very much the support both Jebediah and I have received here.
Sincerely,
Ricky Wood

Michael Hackett
04-27-2007, 08:04 PM
Ricky,

No, being shown the door isn't a misadventure. Had you refused to leave or created a disturbance, it would have played directly into her hands. At this stage, you have the popular image of a concerned parent, the parent of a victimized child, although I doubt the school administration would characterize you that way. To them, I suspect you are viewed as a pain in their office chair mating surface.

In my opinion, your best course of action remains to behave as a gentleman, remaining resolute without becoming strident and hostile. Regardless of what you choose to do in terms of calling the police, filing a lawsuit, going to the media, behaving reasonably in a measured and rational way will be to your benefit.

Unfortunately for your son, this could have a splash-back effect on him and he should be "as cautious as a virgin" in his conduct at school from here on in. Sorry that you're going through this..it must be awfully encompassing in your lives at this point and it won't be a lot of fun for your family. Best of luck.

Edward
04-27-2007, 11:17 PM
On a side note, this is the first time I have EVER been thrown out of a principals office.
:D

Better late than never

jennifer paige smith
04-28-2007, 09:24 AM
I can hear you're angry:grr: with the situation, bewildered by political defense:hypno: and appalled at the ignorance of adults:drool: . Just remember, you, as an aikidoka:o , have had the benefit of the best education of any of those people. Maybe you can help them learn, too.

Anyways, I'm very sad for the way your son was hurt :uch: and I know it is painful to let your kids out of your hands and away from your immediate protection only to have them hurt. evileyes

Since this is an Aiki site I'm going to recommend teaching Aikido at the school.

I believe you have seen my program on line. In case you haven't please check out the Santa cruz county office of education web site http://www.santacruz.k12.ca.us/alt_ed/bodymindspirit07.html. I'd be happy to help. I'd even be willing to come to your school district if you thought that would help.

jen

gdandscompserv
04-28-2007, 12:10 PM
Same Silver Valley Unified School District. This happened at the middle school this time.
http://www.desertdispatch.com/onset?db=desertdispatch&id=471&template=article.html
No worries, all is well in the Silver Valley Unified School District.:eek:

mwible
04-28-2007, 04:15 PM
i greatly comend your attitude during this incident.
on the other hand im a rather big guy for my age (17), standing about 6' 1", and i take Tae Kwon Do and Aikido both, so i try to exude an attitude of humility, but also a "u dont want to mess with me" kind of thing. so, no one really messes with me at all.
but to get to the point, i dont think i could let some punk kid push me like that "several" times. maybe once and he'd be fine. but after 2 i think id have to "ago tsuki age" his butt. thats just my personal attitude though. so, again, i comend u for being able to just stand throught that, that takes guts, and some serious self control.
but one thing i dont agree with, is just this: never, ever, turn your back on an aggresor. if u hadnt of turned away, u probably wouldnt have been nocked out, you would have seen it coming and beeen able to react. or atleast, if you are going to turn around and walk away, keep looking out of the corner of your eye for an advance. and be ready if u see it coming. thats just about all i can say.
but i went through a similar expierience with some stupid kids a few months ago. there were about 4 of them and they were all throwing some snow balls at me from a distance, so i just kept walking away from them, but i still kept an eye and an ear out for any of them coming towards my back, sense they started to run after me. i got to the top of a hill and the other side is steep, so i got to the bottom before they did the top, and thats when they stoped. they kept calling after me tho, wanting to fight me. so, i think i can understand what you went through, its hard to reign your first impulses in. but im kind of glad i didnt hurt any of them. next thing i would have known they probably would have been defacing my property, or worse, messing with my family or friends.
-in aiki
-morgan

gdandscompserv
04-28-2007, 04:53 PM
Ricky,

No, being shown the door isn't a misadventure. Had you refused to leave or created a disturbance, it would have played directly into her hands. At this stage, you have the popular image of a concerned parent, the parent of a victimized child, although I doubt the school administration would characterize you that way. To them, I suspect you are viewed as a pain in their office chair mating surface.

In my opinion, your best course of action remains to behave as a gentleman, remaining resolute without becoming strident and hostile. Regardless of what you choose to do in terms of calling the police, filing a lawsuit, going to the media, behaving reasonably in a measured and rational way will be to your benefit.

Unfortunately for your son, this could have a splash-back effect on him and he should be "as cautious as a virgin" in his conduct at school from here on in. Sorry that you're going through this..it must be awfully encompassing in your lives at this point and it won't be a lot of fun for your family. Best of luck.
Once again Michael, you are spot on.
Thank You,
Ricky Wood

jennifer paige smith
04-29-2007, 12:09 PM
Same Silver Valley Unified School District. This happened at the middle school this time.
http://www.desertdispatch.com/onset?db=desertdispatch&id=471&template=article.html
No worries, all is well in the Silver Valley Unified School District.:eek:

Yes, they suck. But,'keep your friends close and your enemies closer'.
The thread is titled THE ART OF PEACE vs. Silver Valley etc.
I'm still intersted in the Art of Peace ( I believe that is a reference to the philosophy and practice of aikido) as it relates to this problem. I'm hearing a shortage of aikido techniques or solutions ( unless there is something productive that I'm overlooking ) being fully discussed and I feel that is what we need to focus on for solutions that are consistent with aiki values and systems.

So, now we've established they suck, what's next.

Have you given any consideration to teaching an aikido program in your school district?

gdandscompserv
04-29-2007, 05:51 PM
Yes, they suck. But,'keep your friends close and your enemies closer'.
The thread is titled THE ART OF PEACE vs. Silver Valley etc.
I'm still intersted in the Art of Peace ( I believe that is a reference to the philosophy and practice of aikido) as it relates to this problem. I'm hearing a shortage of aikido techniques or solutions ( unless there is something productive that I'm overlooking ) being fully discussed and I feel that is what we need to focus on for solutions that are consistent with aiki values and systems.

So, now we've established they suck, what's next.

Have you given any consideration to teaching an aikido program in your school district?
Jennifer,
Just in case you missed it, I was shown the door OUT of the principal's office. I haven't been invited back yet. What do you think the odds are of them letting me teach aikido there?

mriehle
04-30-2007, 12:02 PM
Same Silver Valley Unified School District. [...snip...] No worries, all is well in the Silver Valley Unified School District.:eek:

I've thought for some time that part of the issue is to maintain deniability. You don't want those pesky kids gathering evidence that this kind of thing actually does happen on campus.

James Davis
04-30-2007, 12:15 PM
I've thought for some time that part of the issue is to maintain deniability. You don't want those pesky kids gathering evidence that this kind of thing actually does happen on campus.

I agree. Schools create policies to avoid law suits. Those "zero tolerance" policies prohibiting students from raising a fist to defend themselves really tick me off.

Ron Tisdale
04-30-2007, 12:40 PM
Any policies against video taping the bullying? :D

Best,
Ron

mriehle
04-30-2007, 03:09 PM
Any policies against video taping the bullying? :D


Not yet. But it's only a matter of time.:(

Adman
04-30-2007, 03:56 PM
Those "zero tolerance" policies prohibiting students from raising a fist to defend themselves really tick me off.

What has happened is that the children are being held to a higher standard than to the societal norm. Children with still developing brains, that are still trying to figure out what it means to be a responsible adult (because they are not there yet), are expected to be better (mature) "adults" than the ones making the policies.

An adult in the same situation (especially in the case of self-defense) gets wwwaayyy more latitude by society and the law. On the other hand, if we as adults are attacked and beaten, it is also expected (or hoped) that we would report it to the authorities. Yet, if something happens between "kids"... well then it's just "kids being kids". So, are they kids (and be allowed to "act" like ones), or are they über adults? :confused:

"Zero tolerance" as a policy that is used to merely suspend and ultimately expel students (which is how it's enforced), is not a tool to help students. It is there to aid the school's and district's number crunching.

thanks,
Adam

DonMagee
04-30-2007, 09:06 PM
What has happened is that the children are being held to a higher standard than to the societal norm. Children with still developing brains, that are still trying to figure out what it means to be a responsible adult (because they are not there yet), are expected to be better (mature) "adults" than the ones making the policies.

An adult in the same situation (especially in the case of self-defense) gets wwwaayyy more latitude by society and the law. On the other hand, if we as adults are attacked and beaten, it is also expected (or hoped) that we would report it to the authorities. Yet, if something happens between "kids"... well then it's just "kids being kids". So, are they kids (and be allowed to "act" like ones), or are they über adults? :confused:

"Zero tolerance" as a policy that is used to merely suspend and ultimately expel students (which is how it's enforced), is not a tool to help students. It is there to aid the school's and district's number crunching.

thanks,
Adam

I remember a fight I got into in high school with a kid. He attacked me because his friend told him I said something that I still to this day do not remember saying. I did not throw a punch, I pushed him away until it was broken up. I was suspended for 5 days. The principle said he did not care what the situation was. I informed him that next time, I would make sure I was deserving of that suspension. He told my father I threatened him and said if I said anything like that again I would be reported to the authoritys.

I lost all respect for that man and my punk kid self made it my mission to get under his skin. I was not alone. He built his own personal demons with his own policies.

jennifer paige smith
04-30-2007, 10:07 PM
Jennifer,
Just in case you missed it, I was shown the door OUT of the principal's office. I haven't been invited back yet. What do you think the odds are of them letting me teach aikido there?

Until you calm down, none.

hapkidoike
04-30-2007, 11:24 PM
Until you calm down, none.

Jennifer Smith: Have you read the mans posts? It seems that he is and has behaved in a very calm manner, at least I cannot find evidence to the contrary. If I missed something feel free to point it out.

Edward
04-30-2007, 11:34 PM
Yeah, I keep on hearing art of peace as in turning the other cheek. We always want to understand aikido and peace through our own religion and culture. If Osensei himself were to be bullied like that, his way of achieving peace and harmony, would have been without any doubt, judging by his own past history, in kicking the hell out of the aggressors so that they would never ever think of doing it again, that's how you achieve peace and harmony for the rest of the school.

Yes, they suck. But,'keep your friends close and your enemies closer'.
The thread is titled THE ART OF PEACE vs. Silver Valley etc.
I'm still intersted in the Art of Peace ( I believe that is a reference to the philosophy and practice of aikido) as it relates to this problem. I'm hearing a shortage of aikido techniques or solutions ( unless there is something productive that I'm overlooking ) being fully discussed and I feel that is what we need to focus on for solutions that are consistent with aiki values and systems.

So, now we've established they suck, what's next.

Have you given any consideration to teaching an aikido program in your school district?

gdandscompserv
05-01-2007, 06:30 AM
Until you calm down, none.
I concentrate deeply on my breathing every time I show up at school. This helps me remain quite calm. Haven't lost my temper yet in this situation and don't have any intention of doing so.:cool:

jennifer paige smith
05-01-2007, 10:57 AM
Yeah, I keep on hearing art of peace as in turning the other cheek. We always want to understand aikido and peace through our own religion and culture. If Osensei himself were to be bullied like that, his way of achieving peace and harmony, would have been without any doubt, judging by his own past history, in kicking the hell out of the aggressors so that they would never ever think of doing it again, that's how you achieve peace and harmony for the rest of the school.

I never said turn the other cheek. I was recommending Irimi.
However, I'm into solutions and I'm not into straw man arguments one after the next.
Good Luck to you in whatever method you choose.
I'm on to greener pastures.

jennifer paige smith
05-01-2007, 11:01 AM
Jennifer Smith: Have you read the mans posts? It seems that he is and has behaved in a very calm manner, at least I cannot find evidence to the contrary. If I missed something feel free to point it out.

I take the opening phrase 'just in case you missed it' as aggressive. Maybe that's just me.
Like I said, Good Luck in working this out.

Franco
05-01-2007, 12:45 PM
Yeah, I keep on hearing art of peace as in turning the other cheek. We always want to understand aikido and peace through our own religion and culture. If Osensei himself were to be bullied like that, his way of achieving peace and harmony, would have been without any doubt, judging by his own past history, in kicking the hell out of the aggressors so that they would never ever think of doing it again, that's how you achieve peace and harmony for the rest of the school.
I agree. AIkido is about turning the other cheek just as much as judo is "the gentle way". Go and stand in front of any aikido shihan and try to kick his ass and see what happens.

Ron Tisdale
05-01-2007, 12:52 PM
Jennifer, it's interesting that you attack someone else, then when called on it, you fly away.

Perhaps part of the reason aikidoka get pegged as passive agressive.

Best,
Ron

gdandscompserv
05-01-2007, 02:03 PM
[I take the opening phrase 'just in case you missed it' as aggressive. Maybe that's just me.
Like I said, Good Luck in working this out.
Jennifer,
Perhaps sarcastic but not aggressive. I apologize if I came off that way.
And thank you for your good luck wish. I think I'm gonna need it. As a result of what happened to my son I have been made aware of a difficult problem. Good teacher's BAD admin. His teachers have no problem receiving or replying to my emails and are quite prompt at doing so. I appreciate this. On the other hand, strange as it may seem,;) admin has difficulty receiving and replying to any of my email correspondence.
I would love nothing more than to offer aikido lessons at the school but there is a more pressing problem here. Not only does there appear to exist a bullying problem on a student level, it appears we have a similar problem at the admin level. The teachers are really helpless in such a situation due to the nature of their employment. In fact the only person/s who stand a chance at correcting such problems are parent's through the school board. How many other parent's have been bullied out of the principal's office? I don't know, but I felt like I was. This is a situation that needs to be corrected. We need to create an environment in which the teachers can teach and the students can learn. I am a determined sort by nature so it's not likely that I am going to go away as they are undoubtedly hoping.
Aikido is not something one should demand from our public schools, but competance is.
Besides, if admin wishes to learn aikido they must learn ukemi as well.:D

George S. Ledyard
05-02-2007, 08:50 AM
[
In fact the only person/s who stand a chance at correcting such problems are parent's through the school board. How many other parent's have been bullied out of the principal's office? I don't know, but I felt like I was. This is a situation that needs to be corrected.

I had a family training with me whose son had a similar problem at school. He was accosted on the playground by tow bullies. He basically did a very nice randori, including a koshi, and kept himself safe. He did not hurt the two assailants, except their egos.

His teacher and the admin folks freaked out. They were far more concerned that a ten year old knew how to protect himself than they were that two of their students were bullying him. The two parents went in to talk to the teacher and the principle and made no headway. I even wrote a long letter explaining what Aikido was all about to his teacher. She merely concluded that we ere some sort of cult.

There was no room here for compromise. Fortunately, my students were quite well off, the husband working for Microsft in the early days, so they simply pulled their son out and put him in private school. What do other people, without those resources do? As Saotome Sensei has said, sometimes conflict resolution means the removal of one of the combatants. Change may mean a fight rather than some nice mutual accord. You do what you have to do to protect your children If this is a systemic problem, then there wil be other parents who feel the same way. It is up to them to force change (that's the atemi to the opening). The administrators can change or leave but the parents need to insist on the changes needed. Administrators are inherently conservative. They ar over worked and under paid and they don't like people who cause problems for them. Initiating change often requires some conflict, that's just a fact.

jennifer paige smith
05-02-2007, 11:28 AM
Jennifer, it's interesting that you attack someone else, then when called on it, you fly away.

Perhaps part of the reason aikidoka get pegged as passive agressive.

Best,
Ron

No Flying. No Attack.( sounds like a 9/11 conspiracy). I put my hand to offering a solution to a problem presented online. It is meant to be a suggestion, not a judgement, not anything other than looking for a good outcome for the students (1st) and everyone. I can't possibly take sides, as I wasn't there, I don't know any of the people involved, and I have no investment in this other than a general caring. I have offered to come and help, I have offered my best idea, so far. I consider this active, not passive. The suggestion I proposed worked in a similar situation in this school district where I teach Aikido to kids in gangs.
You don't need to agree with my suggestion. Perhaps you have a better problem solving suggestion for Ricky that you would like to put forward.

However, the greener pastures that call are the students in my high school classes who are interested in changing their violent lives and thoughts. I'm going to ask them to look over this forum and tell me what they think of it all.
I'll be back with some of their wisdom.
Until then , good luck.

Ron Tisdale
05-02-2007, 11:40 AM
Sounds good! ;)

Best,
Ron

jennifer paige smith
05-02-2007, 11:43 AM
[
Jennifer,
Perhaps sarcastic but not aggressive. I apologize if I came off that way.
And thank you for your good luck wish. I think I'm gonna need it. As a result of what happened to my son I have been made aware of a difficult problem. Good teacher's BAD admin. His teachers have no problem receiving or replying to my emails and are quite prompt at doing so. I appreciate this. On the other hand, strange as it may seem,;) admin has difficulty receiving and replying to any of my email correspondence.
I would love nothing more than to offer aikido lessons at the school but there is a more pressing problem here. Not only does there appear to exist a bullying problem on a student level, it appears we have a similar problem at the admin level. The teachers are really helpless in such a situation due to the nature of their employment. In fact the only person/s who stand a chance at correcting such problems are parent's through the school board. How many other parent's have been bullied out of the principal's office? I don't know, but I felt like I was. This is a situation that needs to be corrected. We need to create an environment in which the teachers can teach and the students can learn. I am a determined sort by nature so it's not likely that I am going to go away as they are undoubtedly hoping.
Aikido is not something one should demand from our public schools, but competance is.
Besides, if admin wishes to learn aikido they must learn ukemi as well.:D

Thank you for clarifying your intent. I accept. I hope you hear mine. It is a wish of wellness for you both.

Bronson
05-14-2007, 12:30 PM
Found this article (http://www.smh.com.au/news/national/bullied-teen-awarded-income-for-life/2007/05/14/1178995042035.html) today.

Bronson

mriehle
05-14-2007, 12:55 PM
Thanks, Bronson.

Maybe a few more such stories would get school administrators to take bullying seriously.

gdandscompserv
05-15-2007, 08:43 AM
Yes Bronson thanks. Hopefully, that case will influence the American judicial system.
I see bullying as very "gang-like" in behavoir. Not only is it inherently evil but it forces those around them into "groups" for self preservation. Thus begins severe polorization in our already fragmented society. I really disdain the bully mentality and the impact it has on our society.

jennifer paige smith
05-16-2007, 09:54 AM
Yes Bronson thanks. Hopefully, that case will influence the American judicial system.
I see bullying as very "gang-like" in behavoir. Not only is it inherently evil but it forces those around them into "groups" for self preservation. Thus begins severe polorization in our already fragmented society. I really disdain the bully mentality and the impact it has on our society.

I second the last line in this post wholeheartedly. As an educator, I generally take an inquiry route into issues and problems. I get really curious. Through curiosity and inquiry I have come to identify 'gang behavior' as tribal behavior. Defined roughly: There is an inner circle with it's rites of passages and unique initiations. There is an ethos that is guided by a larger social pattern. There is an inner group consensus that outer people are not allowed to know.. There are many different types of tribes, many different colors (many different dojo..oops, how did that get in there) each one defines itself by power and identity of group. Some more violent than others. IMO our society is currently perpetuating gang/tribal behavior through the acceptance of secretive, hostile, global bullying and we can't expect our kids to be any different unless we are willing to strongly model something different.

Whether you agree with my current position on this issue or not, I think that we can agree that there is a larger(er) problem that needs direct and immediate attention. As a personal choice I'm not going to wait until our judicial branch changes it's current political course to effect change individually. I'm going to teach judicious Aikido in my classes. I know others of you are doing the same.
Let's be the ones to do something powerful and worthy.

From a small seed a giant Oak grows.

Mark Uttech
05-17-2007, 05:25 PM
I've held the ideal/dream/concept of the 'village dojo' for a few years now. This where the village dojo becomes a refuge point. I read something in Aikido Today magazine about the village dojo ideal, where every dojo member trains to become a teacher, open a dojo, and train ten people minimum to shodan. And then those ten would go out and each train ten people to shodan, and the journey toward creating a beautiful world would continue.

In gassho,

Mark

jennifer paige smith
05-20-2007, 11:32 AM
I've held the ideal/dream/concept of the 'village dojo' for a few years now. This where the village dojo becomes a refuge point. I read something in Aikido Today magazine about the village dojo ideal, where every dojo member trains to become a teacher, open a dojo, and train ten people minimum to shodan. And then those ten would go out and each train ten people to shodan, and the journey toward creating a beautiful world would continue.

In gassho,

Mark

I hold this ideal as well, although I have not had the good words to say it as you just have. One of my teachers calls this developing "Good help, I hope." I love the imagery of your post, Mark. Thanks:circle:

Angela Dunn
05-24-2007, 07:02 AM
I have read through this thread and it has, as I am certain it has done with others reading it, brought back memories of my own encounters with school bullies and the people in charge attitudes. In my case I was told, because it happened generally after lessions where over that the school could not do anything even though it was on school grounds.Although I did go through a similar interigation, or should that be an attempt at intimidation, your son did I ended up moving schools as yet again, it was another school where bullying did not exist. It worked out better for me though, all I will say is that life can deal you some harsh blows but can hand out some pretty sweet rewards if you can survive them.

It sounds like your son done everything he could have given the circumstances. Although if he had been knocked unconcious why the hell was he not took to a first aider/hospital or even sent home to be checked over? He should not have been filling out legal documents in that state surely.

Not knowing american school procedure I have to ask out of curiousity, is that not something that is standard procedure when someones been knocked uncouncious, been in a fight etc? Plus a fight like that would have attracted a crowd, where those who witnessed the fight not asked what they saw? I would also be asking why adults did not intervine before people got hurt. Keep a copy of everything,obtain copies of reports made by your son (Which it appears you are doing anyway, and your son should also keep a record of all incodents to.)

I would agree with people who suggested going to the media though, It appears that going through schools procedures is not getting you very far, and that the people in charge need a shock for things to change. Also if it has happened to your son, and it seems that this group of bullies is well known for attacking people and so other parents may well have took similar action to you in the past. You are going to have more success if you can get together with them, I believe in cases such as these strength in numbers definitly is a cliche that applies. I would also see what other legal options are avaliable to you, it may go against the spirit of what people believe in but what happened to your son is in my eyes assult, if it happened in the adult world it would have been investigated, why should it be any diffrent in this case?

I hope that you and your son get your desired result from this.

jennifer paige smith
06-08-2007, 11:13 AM
An update about this post:
The Silver Valley School District has been in contact about providing an Aikido program in their schools. They are interested in providing alternative methods to prevent violence and 'bullying' on their campuses.

Here ia a link to the program that I have been developing in Santa Cruz County. The Orange County Office of Education is implementing this program beginning next year. We are currently providing a Federal Curriculum Guide to School Districts all over the United States.

It should be stated that there was great reistance to this program when we began. Today the school district is funding the program out of their own limited budget and the Juvenille Justice System is also funding this program in interest of violence prevention and youth wellness.

http://www.santacruz.k12.ca.us/alt_ed/.bodymindspirit07.html

dps
06-09-2007, 12:26 AM
http://www.santacruz.k12.ca.us/alt_ed/.bodymindspirit07.html

http://www.santacruz.k12.ca.us/alt_ed/bodymindspirit07.html

David

jennifer paige smith
06-09-2007, 01:17 PM
http://www.santacruz.k12.ca.us/alt_ed/bodymindspirit07.html

David

Thank You:)

Jen

jennifer paige smith
06-09-2007, 01:33 PM
http://www.aikidojournal.com/?id=3380

I meant to include this above.

jen

dps
06-09-2007, 10:38 PM
Thank You:)

Jen
Your Welcome
David

Trish Greene
06-11-2007, 05:07 PM
My son had a problem with a bully last year when he was 12 yo. At the time he had been in Aikido for almost a year. This kid would come up from behind him and shove him to the ground and run off or he would smack him on the back of the head hard enough to get his attention, then run off.

One day, my son saw the bully running aggressively towards him, this time he wasn't taken by surprise. He ended up putting the bully to the ground, just knocking the wind out of him. My son then helped him up off the ground and said "sorry I had to do that to you".

He hasn't been bothered since.

I've been following this thread and I have to agree with all the steps that Ricky had taken so far.

I think the "no tolerance policy" is lacking, it doesn't account for the poor kid that is being picked on. I was one of those kids 20 years ago! I had some chick wait for me in the hallway and proceeded to try to beat the snot out of me. No adults were around and I defended my self. I also got suspended from school. Not fair at all!

jennifer paige smith
06-12-2007, 09:53 AM
My son had a problem with a bully last year when he was 12 yo. At the time he had been in Aikido for almost a year. This kid would come up from behind him and shove him to the ground and run off or he would smack him on the back of the head hard enough to get his attention, then run off.

One day, my son saw the bully running aggressively towards him, this time he wasn't taken by surprise. He ended up putting the bully to the ground, just knocking the wind out of him. My son then helped him up off the ground and said "sorry I had to do that to you".

He hasn't been bothered since.

I've been following this thread and I have to agree with all the steps that Ricky had taken so far.

I think the "no tolerance policy" is lacking, it doesn't account for the poor kid that is being picked on. I was one of those kids 20 years ago! I had some chick wait for me in the hallway and proceeded to try to beat the snot out of me. No adults were around and I defended my self. I also got suspended from school. Not fair at all!

No fair. But good move.

bankai
06-16-2007, 07:19 AM
I second Paul`s thoughts. What the heck is going on in that school?

When I went through high school I weighed less than 90 pounds. I was not able to take the higher ground. But because I stood up to myself I only had to fight once...twice...thrice...but i think that was it. ;-)

If I was injured as badly as your son there would be a few people talking to the police if my parents found out about it.

dalen7
06-27-2007, 04:01 AM
It may not be now, but at some point in time what is being dished out will come back - if the attitude remains the same. (referring to people who 'bully' smaller people.

Ironically about 10 years back something happened that will kind of support my first statement. (what comes around goes around.)

My brother-in-law mistakingly thought he was tougher than me - I guess he was unaware that I could bench 250lbs despite only weighing 140lbs. (i had weight trained all through highschool)

He and I were in a verbal spat (of which I now know, only as of recently, that its useless to even argue a point...if you have to aruge it will more than likely end up in a fight...)

Anyway, he decided to put me in some judo move - of which I escaped and was about to (unknown to him) grab him by the head and smash my knee in his face. (eye for eye tooth for tooth mentality back then I suppose) But there was one other guy with him that I wasnt sure if I could 'take both'. - so I did nothing.

Well the years passed, we both gained the weight, and he even apologized. Upon moving back to Hungary he once again started being overtly opinionated, and seeing that I had a hard time with opinionated people (perhaps as that is what I see in myself) I begin to get caught in the vibe of argumentation.

He once again, (foolishly, as he must have supposed I could not protect myself from 10 years back...he does not realize how close he was to seriously being injured...he did the same judo move. - of course this time I did more of an aikdio move (i had not taken aikdio yet) and went with the flow as to avoid the pain.

To end the whole ordeal, as he would not settle down, and I did not know of aikdio techniques to put him in until he 'chilled' I kicked his face as he was coming at me on the floor. (I usually wear flip flops...it was ironic on that day I had on my doc martin shoes.)

I quickly got up, and really was not sure what to expect from him, and then punched him in the nose. (I have only taken boxing lessons...and am not into the wrestling type stuff he seems to be in.) I think it finally clicked and he said, "enough". Now had I been a bully I would have kept going. But his nose starting to bleed, left.

Now here you have 2 grown adults. What do you learn here?
What did I learn.

- Though i tried to maintain peace and did not want to 'break' him, I had to use force for him to stop.
Had I known aikido I would have been able to end it perhaps without the spilling of blood.

- Even deeper, had I had more of 'peace' inside of me, and allowing others to be. (that means not concerned with peoples mouths running, and just walk away, etc.) then that would have been aikido, I would have avoided any conflict.

That is what my goal is actually...to have a true inner stillness and peace, and realize what is going on around me are 'stories' and not to take them so seriously. The energy will then shift and change, like a dance in an aikido move - but it happens before it comes to a physical level.

As they say, "as above so below, and below above."
If true peace is in me, more than likely I will not experience the need to even need to use aikido.

And as for the lesson for the brother in law...same principles apply.
You could say he learned that he cannot take it for granted to judge someone by their size. You could say his actions caught up with him. Was it a punishment? Or an opportunity to grow out of a 'ego' driven pattern of behavior.

I think it was an opportunity, and those opportunities come again and again. Kind of like the saying, "God disciplines those he loves" - more like the universe allows life to happen to you until you wake up.

And again, there was a lot for me to learn in this to.

Peace

Dalen

gdandscompserv
02-10-2009, 08:28 AM
Interesting thing. While speaking with one of the 11 year old young ladies in my aikido class the topic of her family came up. Her Dad's in jail, not really a surprise there since most of my students are from dysfunctional homes, but you'll never guess who her brother is. He is one of the "bullies" that was involved in the attack on my son. So here I am giving free aikido lessons to the sister of one of the bullies that attacked my son.:D

jennifer paige smith
02-10-2009, 10:28 AM
Interesting thing. While speaking with one of the 11 year old young ladies in my aikido class the topic of her family came up. Her Dad's in jail, not really a surprise there since most of my students are from dysfunctional homes, but you'll never guess who her brother is. He is one of the "bullies" that was involved in the attack on my son. So here I am giving free aikido lessons to the sister of one of the bullies that attacked my son.:D

The dynamic sphere: Where the mountain comes to Mohammed. Cool.