Things People would NEVER Say

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[Taliesin]

1. I think everyone is entitled to their own opinion

Mike Sigman

2. I could be wrong

Mike Sigman


3. Lets not bother analysing the evidence

Neil Mick


4. Of Course it was all about oil

George W Bush


Any more examples gratefully recieved.

[Mashu]

5. Come on, let it all out! You guys are putting me to sleep here.

Jun Akiyama

[Tom Fish]

6. If we hadn't broken the enigma machine we wouldn't be up to our ears in enigmas.
David Chalk

[Neil Mick]

Let's just ignore all that "history" nonsense.
7. Amir Krause

Another political debate? Wow! Count me in!
8. Kevin Leavitt

But permit me now to emote off on a lengthy tangent...
9. Ron Tisdale

Me talk pretty one day.
10. Kevin Wilbanks

[xuzen]

I think my post are too long.
David V.

[DonMagee]

I think we should do more kata!

[Guilty Spark]

Hey do one about me.

[Adam Alexander]

I'm desperate for attention.

Grant Wagar


Hehe:

I'm desperate for attention.

Neil Mick


I don't really know the meaning of passive aggression, but it's a great offense which is an adequate substitute for a rational defense.

Mike Sigman


Something you will hear:

Wow, after twenty years of practicing ___(insert other than Aikido here)____ I finely get what you people meant. I really had my head up my a**.

Any artist outside Aikido.

[happysod]

aikido? well I was drunk so it seemed like a good idea at the time...-Ueshiba

You should never go to the ground in a fight - A. N. Gracie

Judo, not much use for anything - Kano

I thought only faeries had wings - anyone with a brain in a para's bar

Wales? I only go there on holiday for the weather

[Guilty Spark]

Okay how about someone with a sense of ha ha ;)

[MM]

This is easy. You just stick the pointy end into the other guy.
-Musashi

Sticks are for wimps. Give me a naginata any day.
-Gonnosuke

My intercepting hand skill sucks. Where's my gun?
-Bruce Lee

I'm gonna take this bar stool and ram it up your rear cause I'm the meanest SOB here.
-Kwai Chang Caine

I'm too slow to make it past that pussy cat.
-Speedy Gonzales

Why don't we sit down and talk about our differences because I know I've hurt your feelings in the past and I'd love to make sure that I don't trample all over your emotional state ever again so that we don't have to fight.
-Bugs Bunny

We only want conservative articles.
-NY Times, CNN

I have Bush Derangement Syndrome
-pretty much most liberal wackos

I think Hillary would make a great president
-Newt Gingrich

Rosie O'Donnell is beautiful
-Trump

I love Donald Trump.
-Rosie

Kata is useless
-Koryu teacher

Karate sucks. I want to learn Aikido
-Chitose

[Neil Mick]

We admit it. Wmd's did not exist. Our President lied to take us to war.
-- The Bush Faithful Choir

What the poor really need is a just a good hand-out.
--Jean de Rochefort

I hate vanilla; and guns suck.
--John Hogan

Fanatical extremist suicide-bombers have feelings, too!
--Grant Wagar

Let me state this as briefly as I can...
--Terry Dobson

That Bush-guy really has his head up his ***
--Condilezza Rice

Thank God the US invaded Iraq
--Kofi Annan

We must do more to help the victims of Katrina
--George W. Bush

OK, OK, I admit it. I shot the guy because he had a silly look on his face.
--Dick Cheney

Seagal, Seagal, he's our man!! He will do whatever he CAN!!
--Gregory Smith

I love labels...Conservative...Liberal...call me whatever you like!
--Cady Goldfield

[Cady Goldfield]

You're HIRED!
-- Donald Trump

Why the @#$% did I take this gig?! I'd much rather be a classical music host on public radio.
-- Howard Stern

Every morning when I wake up, I thank my lucky stars that I'll have Neil Mick to talk to today!
-- Mike Sigman

Every night when I go to sleep, I thank my lucky stars that I had Mike Sigman to talk to today!
-- Neil Mick

I need to be less verbose in my posts.
-- John Hogan

I need to flesh out my posts with more verbiage.
-- Erick Meade
(I was going to steal Neil's "I'll state this as briefly as I can -- Terry Dobson" line for this... :D)

If I had life to live over again, I'd do it as a blonde, perky cheerleader with a rich daddy, a credit card and no clue about finances.
-- Alan Greenspan


--

[Hogan]

...
I need to be less verbose in my posts.
-- John Hogan...

I think maybe you have me confused with someone else?

[Cady Goldfield]

No. Why? Is that something you would actually say? :p

[Hogan]

No. Why? Is that something you would actually say? :p.

So... wait - now I am confused....

[Janet Rosen]

"What a bunch of assholes"
--Janet Rosen :-)

[Princess Rose]

Gee I wonder if that cute yudansha over there would ever go out with me. Oh my God she like totally smiled at me…
Mike Grant

Hey mike would you like to date my daughter?
Michael Riehle

There is too much snow outside to go to Aikido tonight
Rosemary Wulf :)

[Neil Mick]

Slow is not fine; fast isn't any better, either.
--Ikeda Sensei

Can't we stop all this "give peace a chance/kumbaya" nonsense, and just get down to a nice, good old-fashioned war?
--Mark Freeman

[xuzen]

aikido? well I was drunk so it seemed like a good idea at the time...-Ueshiba

You should never go to the ground in a fight - A. N. Gracie

Judo, not much use for anything - Kano

I thought only faeries had wings - anyone with a brain in a para's bar

Wales? I only go there on holiday for the weather

Thread winner!

Boon.

P/S "I grapple coz I sux at judo" - Helio Gracie

[Neil Mick]

If I had life to live over again, I'd do it as a blonde, perky cheerleader with a rich daddy, a credit card and no clue about finances.
-- Alan Greenspan

(Actually, I think that that's exactly what he'd say...)

[Mike Sigman]

"Though no federal statistics are kept on murders or any other crimes committed by illegal aliens, a number of groups have produced estimates based on data collected from prisons, news reports and independent research.

Twelve Americans are murdered every day by illegal aliens, according to statistics released by Rep. Steve King, R-Iowa. If those numbers are correct, it translates to 4,380 Americans murdered annually by illegal aliens. That’s 21,900 since Sept. 11, 2001.

Total U.S. troop deaths in Iraq as of last week were reported at 2,863. Total U.S. troop deaths in Afghanistan, Pakistan and Uzbekistan during the five years of the Afghan campaign are currently at 289, according to the Department of Defense."
--Neil Mick

;)

Mike "god... I hope he doesn't have a heart-attack" Sigman

[Neil Mick]

"Though no federal statistics are kept on murders or any other crimes committed by illegal aliens, a number of groups have produced estimates based on data collected from prisons, news reports and independent research.

Twelve Americans are murdered every day by illegal aliens, according to statistics released by Rep. Steve King, R-Iowa. If those numbers are correct, it translates to 4,380 Americans murdered annually by illegal aliens. That's 21,900 since Sept. 11, 2001.

No, you're right on that one...those statistics are skewed, and I try not to use skewed statistical data.

Total U.S. troop deaths in Iraq as of last week were reported at 2,863. Total U.S. troop deaths in Afghanistan, Pakistan and Uzbekistan during the five years of the Afghan campaign are currently at 289, according to the Department of Defense."
--Neil Mick

Not quite sure why I wouldn't say this, but oh well.

I mean, I can talk about the ratio of deaths due to automobile accidents compared to soldier deaths in Iraq...does it mean anything?

Mike "god... I hope he doesn't have a heart-attack" Sigman

You have weird and overblown notions of the effect of your posts, upon me. But, there's only one rational response....*shrug* (too bad there are no "shrug" emoticons...)

[Mike Sigman]

No, you're right on that one...those statistics are skewed, and I try not to use skewed statistical data.
Actually, my post was a direct parody of the "sig" you used for so long about the Iraqi deaths. The one the Johns Hopkins anti-war boys did; the one which so famously damaged the reputation of "The Lancet" because the stats and sampling didn't stand up. Bzzzzzt.

Mike

[Neil Mick]

Actually, my post was a direct parody of the "sig" you used for so long about the Iraqi deaths. The one the Johns Hopkins anti-war boys did; the one which so famously damaged the reputation of "The Lancet" because the stats and sampling didn't stand up. Bzzzzzt.

Mike

Oh, fer pity's sake...look at the thead title. It's supposed to be...humorous...hello?

Instead of diverting the thread with a stupid flyby remark, you COULD always start up a new thread on the topic of the Lancet study, since you're so sure it's been disproven. You wouldn't be the first to try and disprove it with sketchy and partisan stabs, and I'm sure you won't be the last, either.

But then, of course, you know you'd get slammed...again (with you on the other end, patently denying what's in front of your nose, as usual).

P.S. How's that hunt for those anti-Semitic comments I made, going? Any luck yet?

[Taliesin]

Ian Hurst (Or any other Englishman)

I wish we had Welsh weather.

[Mike Sigman]

Oh, fer pity's sake...look at the thead title. It's supposed to be...humorous...hello? Wait a minute... are you suggesting that comments similarly attributed to you are not humorous unless they conform to your standards?
Instead of diverting the thread with a stupid flyby remark, you COULD always start up a new thread on the topic of the Lancet study, since you're so sure it's been disproven. You wouldn't be the first to try and disprove it with sketchy and partisan stabs, and I'm sure you won't be the last, either.

But then, of course, you know you'd get slammed...again (with you on the other end, patently denying what's in front of your nose, as usual).

P.S. How's that hunt for those anti-Semitic comments I made, going? Any luck yet? Well, hold on, Neil. You need to understand that the only reason I said I didn't want to debate anymore with you is simply because you have the worst case of Confirmation Bias in your arguments of anyone I've ever seen. I'll let you look it up. Even with the liberal Washingtop Post on record, having openly indicated that Wilson got caught in fibs (Cheny sent him? He gave the wrong appraisal in the New York Times editorial) you continue to insist on an absurd interpretation, just as you do in all of your arguments.

The second indicator is watching what you do when asked direct questions or in the direct questions you ask. You almost always use the known tactic that is watched for in lying... you go for the famous "tangential answer". It's the sort of trick that Justin Smith uses when Cady tries to tell him that he'd doing inappropriate forum behavior. The same sort of tangential shift is seen when you ask questions... "where did I slander Jews?". No one has accused you of "slandering Jews", Neil.

If you want to have have good conversations, be honest and be factual. Even people who feel the same as you about aspects of politics and history are often forced to avoid association because of your untruthful hyperbole.

My comments about the Lancet publications (both of them in regard to the self-proclaimed anti-war activists from Johns Hopkins) were absolutely correct. YOU used false statistics, deliberately and knowingly. The humour is in your decrying someone for using false statistics. ;)

Regards,

Mike Sigman

[Guilty Spark]

It's about that time for someone to accuse the other of hating america ;)

[Mark Freeman]

"Zose English, zey are so much better lovers zan us"

Any Frenchman

[Neil Mick]

You need to understand that the only reason I said I didn't want to debate anymore with you is simply because you have the worst case of Confirmation Bias in your arguments of anyone I've ever seen.

Blah blah blah. Really, Mike, I don't care what your "reasons" are for not debating me (as, everyone knows the real reason). The only thing I care about is that you honor a certain element of reciprocity here (for once) and give me the same respect that you ask me to give to you.

Until then, you can expect me to reveal to the reader how hypocritical, racist and erroneous your posts usually are.

No one has accused you of "slandering Jews", Neil.

Oh, gods, you are so easy. I got these after only checking this very thread after a few seconds:

Your rants are purely anti-American and anti-Jew... very trendy; very California; very Santa Cruz.

I.e..... where is the balance in your discussions? We already know you hate the Jooz.

So when I point it out that you're anti-American (and anti-Jew) you do the only thing you can do

And on and on and...

No Mike, if you want to get technical: you weren't accusing me of slandering the Jews--you were accusing me of something worse, as well as unprovable. You were accusing me of actually hating the Jews. And since you cannot possibly know what I am thinking or why, based simply on my posts here: I'd say that your charges are beyond specious, and enter into abusive country.

But I suppose that this latest exercise in mendacity just means that you've thrown in the towel in the prospect of finding ANY post of mine that you could call anti-Jewish. Ah well, to be expected.

If you want to have have good conversations, be honest and be factual

Please, Mike, the whole of aikiweb is calling on you to SAY THIS IN FRONT OF A MIRROR. You might be doing a good job of fooling yourself, but most of the rest of us here are gifted with adult faculties, and adult reading levels. Anyone who follows the threads knows who leaves out significant portions of the truth, and who doesn't.

Even people who feel the same as you about aspects of politics and history are often forced to avoid association because of your untruthful hyperbole.

You see, Mike, I don't need to feel secure in myself by labelling others. You should try it sometime. I don't need to go around and try to stereotype ppl, or box them into categories, because I don't understand them.

My comments about the Lancet publications (both of them in regard to the self-proclaimed anti-war activists from Johns Hopkins) were absolutely correct.

Because you said so, of course. If you're so right, then start up a new thread (instead of slinging baseless claims, per your usual fare), instead of your usual baseless blather, and weak attempts at thread diversion.

YOU used false statistics, deliberately and knowingly. The humour is in your decrying someone for using false statistics. ;)

Regards,

Mike Sigman

The humor (and the sadness) is in one man who thinks he's some sort of "moral policeman" on AW, just because he derides everyone who disagrees with him and habitually calls these ppl "Jew-haters," and "anti-US."

It's about that time for someone to accuse the other of hating america ;)

Nah, I'll leave the name-calling in Mikey's court, where it usually resides.

The main reason I even call him anti-American is that he's anti-at-least-ONE-American...me. ;)

We return you now to your program, and apologize for the interruption. :cool:

[Neil Mick]

*OK, I admit it, I was wrong.
*The Arabs have good reasons to be angry.
*Thank you for showing me the errors in my posts. I am humbled by all my previous errors; but all the same I realize that making mistakes are a common element of being human.

--Mike Sigman

[Cady Goldfield]

Guess I'll just dust off a couple of the "Things people would NEVER say" items I posted the other day...

Every morning when I wake up, I thank my lucky stars that I'll have Neil Mick to talk to today!
-- Mike Sigman

Every night when I go to sleep, I thank my lucky stars that I had Mike Sigman to talk to today!
-- Neil Mick

:D

[Mark Freeman]

"Far be it from me to not want to prove my point"

Cady Goldfield

[Cady Goldfield]

"Zose English, zey are so much better lovers zan us"

Any Frenchman

"Those bloody French. Their foul cuisine can't hold a candle to our fine English cooking!"

Any Englishman

[Neil Mick]

Guess I'll just dust off a couple of the "Things people would NEVER say" items I posted the other day...

Every morning when I wake up, I thank my lucky stars that I'll have Neil Mick to talk to today!
-- Mike Sigman

Every night when I go to sleep, I thank my lucky stars that I had Mike Sigman to talk to today!
-- Neil Mick

:D

Yeah, we saw it the first time. The first time it was mildly funny...the second time, it was getting old.

Now here we are on time no. 3. :rolleyes:

I'll just tell the joke once, no one likes a repeat-offender. :p
--Cady Goldfield

[Cady Goldfield]

Think of it more as a reminder... ;)
What you two are posting here is not the subject of this thread. That one would be the WWIII one, one thread down, to the left...er...right...er...left :p

[Neil Mick]

Think of it more as a reminder... ;)
What you two are posting here is not the subject of this thread. That one would be the WWIII one, one thread down, to the left...er...right...er...left :p

Perhaps you missed this remark, addressed to Mike...?

Oh, fer pity's sake...look at the thead title. It's supposed to be...humorous...hello?

Instead of diverting the thread with a stupid flyby remark, you COULD always start up a new thread on the topic of the Lancet study, since you're so sure it's been disproven.

I don't appreciate the diversion, any more than you. It's one of Mike's signature ploys.

I appreciate even less, is prepeatedly being compared as the exact opposite of Mike, whose racist posts are discussed elsewhere.

If you've got something to say, Cody: say it straight...don't try and slide it underneath an overrepeated joke. It's hard enough to glean some of the posters' intentions behind their posts, as it is.

[Cady Goldfield]

Unfortunately, your squib about this being a "humorous" thread was followed by a lengthy diatribe you posted at 3:35p.m. today, about totally unrelated topics.

So okay, I'll say it straight:
This thread was supposed to be a humorous, lighthearted one about things people (celebrities, forum members, political figures, et al.) would never say. You're brawling like you're in a saloon. Take it outside. Sheesh. :crazy:

[Cady Goldfield]

"Why, I would LOVE to come back and redecorate the women's penitentiary!"

-- Martha Stewart

[Mark Freeman]

"Be careful guys, I'm going to lull you into a false sense of security"

Borat.

[Cady Goldfield]

"Kazahkstan is run by leetle gearls and exports inferior grade potassium!"

-- Borat

[Neil Mick]

Unfortunately, your squib about this being a "humorous" thread was followed by a lengthy diatribe you posted at 3:35p.m. today, about totally unrelated topics.

OK, Mr. Divergent-who-never-hijacks-a-thread :p ...that one is going to come back to haunt you, one day... :uch:

[Cady Goldfield]

"What? ME hijack a thread? Never!"

-- (Ms.) Cady Goldfield

[Neil Mick]

"What? ME hijack a thread? Never!"

-- (Ms.) Cady Goldfield

Hmm...now, that's a recursive conundrum. So, if someone quotes a person in a thread called "Things People would NEVER Say:" what about when a person quotes himself??

ISN'T HE THEREBY SAYING IT, BY QUOTING HIMSELF NOT SAYING IT??

Gad, man, you'll have me up half the night! :hypno: :hypno:

[Cady Goldfield]

"Oh, of course I've known all along that Cady Goldfield is a woman, not a man."

-- Neil Mick

[Mike Sigman]

Oh god.... so many potentially great one-liners going to waste right here. ;)

Mike

[Cady Goldfield]

"I've always been one to keep potentially inflammatory one-liners to myself, and I will continue to do so."

-- Mike Sigman

:D

[Guilty Spark]

This thread was supposed to be a humorous, lighthearted one about things people (celebrities, forum members, political figures, et al.)

My friend, I think it was apparent to EVERYONE just exactly how this thread would pan out. Passive agressive-ish attacks on one another.
The shift from snipes against politicians and celebrities to snipes against forum members could be counted in what, minutes? :)

[Amir Krause]

Yeah, we saw it the first time. The first time it was mildly funny...the second time, it was getting old.

Now here we are on time no. 3. :rolleyes:

Neil Mick regarding any joke about him :rolleyes:

[Ron Tisdale]

Oh lighten up and enjoy the humor! :) I think someone had me spot on!

Best,
Ron

[happysod]

Martial artists always know how to take a joke - any casual reader of ma boards

I contribute greatly to aikiwebs expanding knowlege of aikido and Ueshiba - Ian Hurst

Shodokan aikido - it's just judo for wusses - (Peter, Larry et al)

Yoshinkan really misses the point of aikido - Boon, Ron

I think your aikido is great and I enjoyed the video link you provided - Szzzschg%^&644nnnn

Ki? Jin? It's all a complete load of Eastern Hokum, just hit the weights and spar if you really want to learn how to fight - Mike

I failed all my trigonometry tests - Eric

[Ron Tisdale]

Let the weight from your crotch be in your hands... :D

Justin...

[Mike Sigman]

I dunno.... I really hate for that one to become trivialized, no matter how much fun it is to exhibit it. Sort of like little boys getting excited talking about "poo poo". ;)

It's a critical point in developing internal strength. But, whatever... play with it. The people who will learn will learn and the others... c'est la vie. ;)

Mike

[Ron Tisdale]

Hey Mike,

No offense...of course. I just love the way Justin is fascinated by it. And you are quite correct...it's exactly like scatological humor... :D

Best,
Ron

[Steve Mullen]

"If you guys are getting tired we can slow down and take it nice and gentle, i don't want anyone to get out of breath here"

-My sensei (Mr Cassidy) on the build up to gradings

[Ed Stansfield]

"No more wine for me, thanks."

- Bernard Black (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bernard_Black)

[Neil Mick]

"Thank God for Karl Rove...I was wondering when to take that long-awaited vacation."
--Valerie Plame

[Ed Stansfield]

"No need to shout, I heard you the first time"
- my mother

"Actually, I remember telling you this story before"
- my father

:sorry:

[James Davis]

"No chance. She's not pretty enough."

Bill Clinton

[Luc X Saroufim]

"Our initial feasibility assessment states clearly that...." - George Bush

"We won!" - Hassan Nasrallah, Ehud Olmert, George Bush

[David Orange]

Hmmm....this is a very serious situation. I need to think this through very carefully and plan how I'm going to handle it, get the best possible minds to critique my plan and listen to what they say before I fly off the handle and do something stupid and ruinous for the nation....

You know who!

[Hogan]

Hmmm....this is a very serious situation. I need to think this through very carefully and plan how I'm going to handle it, get the best possible minds to critique my plan and listen to what they say before I fly off the handle and do something stupid and ruinous for the nation....

You know who!

Yes, I do - that would be ANY democrat....

[Neil Mick]

"Are you attempting to bribe me, sir???"
--Tom DeLay

[David Orange]

Yes, I do - that would be ANY democrat....

Right. Dream on.

"W" means "Who".

As in You Know Who.

[David Orange]

"I could do that, and it would be very profitable for my friends, but it would be wrong, so forget it."

W.

[Neil Mick]

"And, who better to hunt down sexual predators...than a sexual predator?"
--Mark Foley

[Taliesin]

The England Team need all the consideranble help the Referee is committed to giving them

Any Rugby Fan

[Neil Mick]

Thank God W is President.
--Molly Ivans (R.I.P. Molly! We barely knew ye!)