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Michael Meister
11-02-2006, 01:05 AM
or is it just incompatible with the old world?

Often, when I talk to my English mates, they mention, that they get serious philosophical answer on posts in this humor section, mainly by US Americans, though the original post was only meant to be fun.

So are we different? If you do feel the need to answer seriously, please do it at least in a satirical way ;)

Lee Mulgrew
11-02-2006, 03:50 AM
or is it just incompatible with the old world?

Often, when I talk to my English mates, they mention, that they get serious philosophical answer on posts in this humor section, mainly by US Americans, though the original post was only meant to be fun.

So are we different? If you do feel the need to answer seriously, please do it at least in a satirical way ;)

the problem arises because all Americans are either power mad plastic surgery junkies, rednecks or street hoodlums where as we Brits tend be tea drinking snobs in bowler hats or cockney street urchins selling our wares or sweeping chimney's! As a foreigner in our green and pleasant land I can forgive your ignorance of these matters as you are obviously not as wise as us Brits (we once ruled the world you know..... well, some of it anyway!) :D :p

happysod
11-02-2006, 05:06 AM
I blame the parents myself

Keith Gotschall
11-02-2006, 07:09 AM
Being an american in the UK, I find that half of the time I am still trying to work out what has been said, still working out the accent, the different language, etc. and then the topic has moved on!
Of course I can't claim such an excuse when I am reading!

To prove your point, a serious reply. The sense of humor is different, entirely. But we do get it and enjoy it. :)




Finish the joke- ...an aikidoka walks into a bar and........

Kyudos
11-02-2006, 07:19 AM
..... says 'Ouch!' ....?

RampantWolf
11-02-2006, 07:20 AM
Finish the joke- ...an aikidoka walks into a bar and........
...Orders a pint?

chris w
11-02-2006, 07:22 AM
you brits need to remember one thing, we kicked your ass in world war 2 and we'll do it again!

MM
11-02-2006, 07:37 AM
Finish the joke- ...an aikidoka walks into a bar and........

Must have been a fluffy bunny aikidoka because he failed miserably to blend with the bar. ;)

===

An aikidoka walks into a bar and the bartender says, "I'm sorry, I can't serve you here unless you are wearing a tie."

The man says, "Okay, I'll be right back," and goes to his car to find anything he can use for a tie. All he finds is a set of jumper cables, so he ties them around his neck, goes back in and asks, "How's this?"

The bartender replies, "Well, okay, but don't start anything."

===
(not an aikidoka joke, but ...)

A Scotsman is sitting in a bar in Cuba and is minding his business when a man with a large black beard walks in. The man goes to the bar and orders a shot of whisky. The bartender serves him, the man drinks the whisky then starts walking out the door. The bartender says, "Hey aren't you going to pay for that?" The man says, "Excuse me, Castro's Army." The bartender says, "Alright then" and the man leaves.

A few minutes later another man with a large black beard walks in. The man goes to the bar and orders a shot of whisky. The bartender serves him, the man drinks the whisky then starts walking out the door. The bartender says, "Hey aren't you going to pay for that?" The man says, "Excuse me, Castro's Army." The bartender says "Alright then" and the man leaves.

The Scotsman gets an idea and walks up to the bar and orders a shot of whisky. He drinks the whisky then starts walking out the door. The bartender says, "Hey aren't you going to pay for that?" The Scotsman says, "Excuse me, Castro's Army." The bartender says, "Hey where is your big black beard?" The Scotsman thinks quickly. He lifts his Kilt and says, "Secret Service!"

MikeLogan
11-02-2006, 07:56 AM
One of the best sources of humor between cultures of any sort is the language foibles.
You will not likely find of chain of stores called "Fanny Farmer" in Britain, now will you? It's a chocolatier.

On another note, our instructor is a Brit, and he finds us to be incredibly funny, I swear. Not funny 'ha-ha' per se, but more like funny looking.


Anyhow, to wreck myself and be serious, you should include some links to a few of these threads wherein some 'Murican is a touch too up on themselves.

At any rate, I'm not one to say that Britain has no sense of humour, nor cuisine.

Their cooking is a joke in itself!! ... Zing!

JMCavazos
11-02-2006, 08:25 AM
Of Course, you have to say something funny!

vjw
11-02-2006, 08:39 AM
At any rate, I'm not one to say that Britain has no sense of humour, nor cuisine.

Their cooking is a joke in itself!! ... Zing!

Must be why we imported McDonald's into Britain!
Lets see if I can cook up something to test your sense of humour next time you turn up for class evileyes

MikeLogan
11-02-2006, 08:40 AM
Though, I completely forgot about american beer. There, that's our joke to the world.

mike.

MikeLogan
11-02-2006, 09:03 AM
Are you suggesting this might be a good time for another 'out of town' interview? Heh. My ankle is sore for some odd reason, but without doubt we'll be there Friday night. Cheers.

Erick Mead
11-02-2006, 10:35 AM
As a foreigner in our green and pleasant land I can forgive your ignorance of these matters as you are obviously not as wise as us Brits (we once ruled the world you know..... well, some of it anyway!) :D :p I coulda swore y'all ruled that part where the sun never sets ... I forget where that is, exactly. Probably right next door to that place where it doesn't shine at all ...

(I would have used satire, but Doug & Dinsdale cornered the market a looong time ago ...) Lend us the claw hammer will ya -- these nails are really starting to muss my hair ...

Eric Webber
11-02-2006, 11:08 AM
I blame the parents myself

Where as an American would blame whomever his shrink told him to blame...

Eric Webber
11-02-2006, 11:10 AM
[QUOTE=Finish the joke- ...an aikidoka walks into a bar and........[/QUOTE]

...says, "No, no, no, that's not how we attack in my dojo. Attack this way..."

James Davis
11-02-2006, 12:23 PM
you brits need to remember one thing, we kicked your ass in world war 2 and we'll do it again!
LOL! Nice. :p

SeiserL
11-02-2006, 12:39 PM
Yes, Americans (as representative people in general of all nationalities) tend to take themselves too seriously, give consciously constructive suggestions (even in a context that humor would more appropriate and possible helpful), and in general are trying (in intent at least) to help make a better world (including the art of Aikido).

Thanks for noticing. I don't think we get enough credit for this.

MikeLogan
11-02-2006, 01:26 PM
While truthful in it's optimism, and I am an optimist, I will for the moment regard the above post as finely crafted sarcasm. Unless you want me to take that seriously :) But since this thread was moved from humor to open discussion, I suppose it deserves more sincere attention. It might be a preference for not being mistaken online. Humor is hard to transmit via internet, and while the signal seems loud and clear when it leaves your keyboard, it deteriorates, and can end up unintentionally insulting. Something often avoided by aikidoka.

On the other hand, I've found that my sense for sarcasm as a form of humor went down the drain after a period of time in which I was able to participate in group zazen meditation. All the thinking and the experiencing of what is, now, tended to engender sincerity, and sincerity is essentially the oppsite of sarcasm.

Anyhow, don't hurt me, I didn't move it from the humor department!

michael.

Neil Mick
11-02-2006, 01:39 PM
Yes, Americans ...are trying (in intent at least) to help make a better world (including the art of Aikido).

Thanks for noticing. I don't think we get enough credit for this.

You're right: Abu Ghraib, Baghram, Guantanamo, and tossing out Habeas Corpus are our ways of telling the world that "we care." If the Spanish Inquisition was human society's stumbling attempts at sick humor: you could think of extroadinary rendition as our attempt at modernizing the knock-knock joke, with a helluva "punch"line ("Knock-knock." "Who's there?" *sounds of a door getting smashed in* "'Sounds of door getting smashed in,' who?") ;)

See...? You claim that we American's have no sense of humor; but we take our humor very seriously (just look at who we elected). When Bush said that he's a "uniter: not a divider," he was making his first steps in his valiant effort to mine the depths of irony.

Now, we will not sleep until we've steamrolled every single English word in our bid to "irony-out" terrorism! (see? We're great punsters, too!!) :crazy:

deepsoup
11-02-2006, 04:39 PM
Spanish Inquisition
I didn't expect that!

MikeLogan
11-02-2006, 08:45 PM
Ziing! (extra i for extra zing!)

Neil Mick
11-02-2006, 09:19 PM
I didn't expect that!

that's because...

Wait for it....

NO one expects the SPANISH INQUISITION!! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zO68fUMWx3g)

Charlie
11-03-2006, 01:40 AM
Ha.

Guilty Spark
11-03-2006, 01:48 AM
Neil my friend you're really going to have to watch your back for those secret service dudes!

I don't think there is a topic in which you can't turn into a jab against Bush or the government - you've a gift to say the least ;)

RampantWolf
11-03-2006, 02:51 AM
Bringing it back around to humour... or lack of it. From what I have seen, read and heard it is not that Americans have no sense of humour it is just rather different from the British one. Living in Australia we were fed both American and British comedy shows. As a generalisation the American comics routines are hard and fast... joke - punchline, joke - punchline, joke - punchline while the British comics tend to ramble along with the jokes completing themselves in the middle of the story and continuing onto the next without much of a pause.

Different styles, both of which I can find amusing, of course there are some American comics I don't like just as there are some British comicsI don't like... but that's personal preference, nothing else.

Lee Mulgrew
11-03-2006, 04:22 AM
you brits need to remember one thing, we kicked your ass in world war 2 and we'll do it again!
That statement scares me on several levels!

MikeLogan
11-03-2006, 09:07 AM
Lee, it was a joke, a self-effacing one at that, poking at our dumbnitude.

Or am I now missing your joke?

happysod
11-03-2006, 10:14 AM
martial artists - destroying humour since 59 B.C.

[Disclaimer: this post is not intended to imply or assert that martial artists are without the ability to either provide or understand humour in any of its forms and the author of this post would like to apologise in advance for any unwarrented feelings of seriousness or thought caused by this post. He would further like to point out that any connection between this post and any martial artist (living, dead or practicing BJJ) is purely coincdental and no offense is intended to any lifeform currently wearing pyjamas and/or latex fetish wear as part of their chosen hobby/sport/spiritual path/lifestyle]

James Davis
11-03-2006, 10:51 AM
You're right: Abu Ghraib, Baghram, Guantanamo, and tossing out Habeas Corpus are our ways of telling the world that "we care." If the Spanish Inquisition was human society's stumbling attempts at sick humor: you could think of extroadinary rendition as our attempt at modernizing the knock-knock joke, with a helluva "punch"line ("Knock-knock." "Who's there?" *sounds of a door getting smashed in* "'Sounds of door getting smashed in,' who?") ;)

See...? You claim that we American's have no sense of humor; but we take our humor very seriously (just look at who we elected). When Bush said that he's a "uniter: not a divider," he was making his first steps in his valiant effort to mine the depths of irony.

Now, we will not sleep until we've steamrolled every single English word in our bid to "irony-out" terrorism! (see? We're great punsters, too!!) :crazy:

Ah, crud. :yuck:

Our government's bad nough, but now I've got Neil representing me on an international level too?! :eek: If we create another set of representatives called the "House of Smart-asses", he's got my vote for sure! :D

Michael Meister
11-03-2006, 12:19 PM
you brits need to remember one thing, we kicked your ass in world war 2 and we'll do it again!

orgive my insufficient knowledge of the English language, but wasn't it us Krauts, that got the kicking, and the English asses you saved?

Lee Mulgrew
11-03-2006, 12:42 PM
Lee, it was a joke, a self-effacing one at that, poking at our dumbnitude.

Or am I now missing your joke?
very good! lol. I think. you were joking weren't you? You see, this is where it can get confusing this humor thing.

p.s. is dumbnitude a word from the American language? (i like it, must start using it!)

Jim ashby
11-03-2006, 01:11 PM
Where would we be without our sense of humour?
Germany.

Neil Mick
11-03-2006, 03:08 PM
Ah, crud. :yuck:

Our government's bad nough, but now I've got Neil representing me on an international level too?! :eek: If we create another set of representatives called the "House of Smart-asses", he's got my vote for sure! :D

Please! We're one step ahead of you. We're called "The International House of Smart-Asses," thank you very much! We make a mean Punster Pancake, if I do say so!

And, I thank you for your vote: I'll be sure to carry out my duties as your representative with aplomb and verve (not to mention a few OTHER cool-sounding words, as well).

No matter what we do: we HAVE to be better than those fellows over at Capital Hill, sleeping off their latest bender! :freaky: :crazy:

James Davis
11-03-2006, 05:14 PM
Please! We're one step ahead of you. We're called "The International House of Smart-Asses," thank you very much! We make a mean Punster Pancake, if I do say so!


Pass the syrup...

of ipecac. :yuck:

;)

deepsoup
11-04-2006, 08:55 AM
their latest bender! :freaky: :crazy:
Ah, if only Frank Zappa were still alive to write a song about it. :)

Mark Freeman
11-04-2006, 12:26 PM
martial artists - destroying humour since 59 B.C.

[Disclaimer: this post is not intended to imply or assert that martial artists are without the ability to either provide or understand humour in any of its forms and the author of this post would like to apologise in advance for any unwarrented feelings of seriousness or thought caused by this post. He would further like to point out that any connection between this post and any martial artist (living, dead or practicing BJJ) is purely coincdental and no offense is intended to any lifeform currently wearing pyjamas and/or latex fetish wear as part of their chosen hobby/sport/spiritual path/lifestyle]

And some they fell on stony ground Ian ;)

Kevin Wilbanks
11-04-2006, 01:01 PM
orgive my insufficient knowledge of the English language, but wasn't it us Krauts, that got the kicking, and the English asses you saved?

That's typical for a bunch of commies - trying to muddle the issue with facts. One of these days we will force you Germans to give up those little red books and embrace capitalism.

Michael Meister
11-06-2006, 01:11 AM
That's typical for a bunch of commies - trying to muddle the issue with facts. One of these days we will force you Germans to give up those little red books and embrace capitalism.

Oh. it's not that. We are just so used to blame ourselves, and throwing ourselves in the mud, feeling inappropiate and guilty. We just can't let no other take the position anymore ;)

roninroshi
11-06-2006, 10:43 PM
Humor? .....HUMBUG!!!!!!!!!! evileyes

Mike Grant
11-07-2006, 05:25 AM
They don't have a sense of humour and they don't even have a language of their own. Guys, maybe you could at least learn to spell if you're going to borrow ours....

MikeLogan
11-07-2006, 07:34 AM
Dumbnitude, invented implying the stupidity of something, and 'tude' implying the mental stance, or point of origin, (a plane's attitude, a teen's attitude)

Please forgive us ahead of time if it is plucked for use in a Shrub speech.

Mike Grant
11-07-2006, 08:36 AM
Right on dude!

(Whatever that means) ;)

James Davis
11-07-2006, 11:16 AM
I watched Shaun of the Dead last weekend. It was pretty funny, but messed up and a little scary too.

Like you guys.

:D

Mike Grant
11-07-2006, 12:16 PM
That's gratitude for you. Who else would have 'sexed up' a dossier on weapons of mass destruction so that you guys could go and 'kick some ass' in Iraq?

(If that's not evidence that somebody over here has a twisted sense of humour then I don't know what is).

By the way, will somebody please tell GWB that it's 'nuclear' and not 'nukuler'? Is he inventing a whole new language of his own?

(Once yo' got an aircraft carrier, yo' really somebody.....)

Luc X Saroufim
11-07-2006, 12:52 PM
or is it just incompatible with the old world?

Often, when I talk to my English mates, they mention, that they get serious philosophical answer on posts in this humor section, mainly by US Americans, though the original post was only meant to be fun.

So are we different? If you do feel the need to answer seriously, please do it at least in a satirical way ;)

I particularly enjoy British humour; Are You Being Served, Faulty Towers, and The Office are some of my favourites.

then again i spent some years in Cyprus, a British mandate. i never really got into Saved by the Bell or Full House, two very popular shows with American kids my age.

Ron Tisdale
11-07-2006, 01:20 PM
Faulty towers is excellent! But I rarely get to watch it anymore...my French GF just doesn't find it funny. :freaky: Maybe it's the French who have no sense of humor! :D

Best,
Ron (ok, if ANYONE tells her I said that, you are TOAST) :grr:

PS If I survive her finding out... :crazy:

BC
11-07-2006, 01:39 PM
I heard this skit from Monty Python's Flying Circus on the radio yesterday. Still a classic!


On Australian Table Wines:
A lot of people in this country pooh-pooh Australian table wines. This is a pity as many fine Australian wines appeal not only to the Australian palate but also to the cognoscenti of Great Britain.

Black Stump Bordeaux is rightly praised as a peppermint flavoured Burgundy, whilst a good Sydney Syrup can rank with any of the world's best sugary wines.

Château Blue, too, has won many prizes; not least for its taste, and its lingering afterburn.

Old Smokey 1968 has been compared favourably to a Welsh claret, whilst the Australian Wino Society thoroughly recommends a 1970 Coq du Rod Laver, which, believe me, has a kick on it like a mule: eight bottles of this and you're really finished. At the opening of the Sydney Bridge Club, they were fishing them out of the main sewers every half an hour.

Of the sparkling wines, the most famous is Perth Pink. This is a bottle with a message in, and the message is 'beware'. This is not a wine for drinking, this is a wine for laying down and avoiding.

Another good fighting wine is Melbourne Old-and-Yellow, which is particularly heavy and should be used only for hand-to-hand combat.

Quite the reverse is true of Château Chunder, which is an appellation contrôlée, specially grown for those keen on regurgitation; a fine wine which really opens up the sluices at both ends.

Real emetic fans will also go for a Hobart Muddy, and a prize winning Cuivre Reserve Château Bottled Nuit San Wogga Wogga, which has a bouquet like an aborigine's armpit.

Ron Tisdale
11-07-2006, 02:00 PM
YIKES...

Ron (now officially laying off the Australian wines)

Erick Mead
11-07-2006, 02:12 PM
They don't have a sense of humour and they don't even have a language of their own. Guys, maybe you could at least learn to spell if you're going to borrow ours.... It's hardly OUR fault.

English began as bad German spoken by Welshmen with a Latin inferiority complex.

Over yonder here, its been adopted by us mongrel Scotch-Irish drunks and our Spanish cousins...

What sort of chance does that give us, then???

Ron Tisdale
11-07-2006, 02:39 PM
Welshmen SPEAK??? :D

Wow, learn something new everyday... :)

b,
R

Erick Mead
11-07-2006, 04:01 PM
Welshmen SPEAK??? :D

Wow, learn something new everyday... :) Well .. mostly, they sing ... :o

The difference between a Welshman and an Irishman is that the Welshman sings more than he drinks ...

And the difference between an Irishman and a Scot is .... [Anyone? Anyone??]

Mike Grant
11-08-2006, 07:47 AM
Faulty towers is excellent! But I rarely get to watch it anymore...my French GF just doesn't find it funny. :freaky: Maybe it's the French who have no sense of humor! :D

Best,
Ron (ok, if ANYONE tells her I said that, you are TOAST) :grr:

PS If I survive her finding out... :crazy:

It's 'Fawlty' Towers not 'Faulty'. That's if we're not talking about some ghastly knock-off for American TV. You guys will be asking for a Waldorf salad next!

Does anybody on here actually find Friends funny? Most of them should have been put down at birth. Perhaps the French like it.

Ron Tisdale
11-08-2006, 07:53 AM
Quite right Mike...pardon the mis-spelling.

Well .. mostly, they sing

And quite beautifully at that! One of my favorite books growing up was "How Green Was My Valley", and one of my favorite B&W movies is the old screen version. Not to mention the Master Piece Theater version...also excellent.

Best,
Ron

James Davis
11-08-2006, 12:05 PM
Does anybody on here actually find Friends funny? Most of them should have been put down at birth. Perhaps the French like it.
I think it's funny how much those people got paid! :crazy:
Seriously folks, the cast of Friends has contributed much to society. :straightf

:rolleyes:

Mike Grant
11-08-2006, 12:33 PM
To be fair, there's some cr*p TV comedy on over here too. We've also started to move beyond take-the-p*ss-out-of-the-Germans mode at long last. At one time, the latter was about 70% of TV comedy over here. The Germans may not have a sense of humour, but they sure do take it pretty well from we Brits.

Don't mention the War! I mentioned it once but I think i got away with it...

Two world wars and one world cup....

Jim ashby
11-08-2006, 04:39 PM
(Once yo' got an aircraft carrier, yo' really somebody.....)[/QUOTE]
The collected broadcasts of Idi Amin no less!! Aaah, :) John Bird at his finest.http://www.aikiweb.com/forums/newreply.php?do=newreply&p=157924#
Smilie

Steve Mullen
11-09-2006, 04:18 AM
Finish the joke- ...an aikidoka walks into a bar and........

his sensei dispares at his lack of awareness. I mean seriously, a simple tai sabaki would have doen the trick, what are they teaching this guy :D

Mike Grant
11-09-2006, 08:52 AM
(Once yo' got an aircraft carrier, yo' really somebody.....)
The collected broadcasts of Idi Amin no less!! Aaah, :) John Bird at his finest.http://www.aikiweb.com/forums/newreply.php?do=newreply&p=157924#
Smilie[/QUOTE]

It is indeed General President Idi Amin Esq., PhD VC

People getting off the pavement when yo' walking by...you ain't walking naked into the conference chambers of de world!

A great pity that John Bird can't do a Texan accent. (If he's still around that is!)

deepsoup
11-09-2006, 09:27 AM
A great pity that John Bird can't do a Texan accent. (If he's still around that is!)
He is, and he's still on TV quite often, usually with John Fortune and Rory Bremner. (Bremner does 'Texan' on those shows.)

You might be thinking of John Wells, hes the one who sadly died a few years ago. (He was best known in his latter years for spoofing Dennis Thatcher.)

Mike Grant
11-09-2006, 10:22 AM
Ah yes! Anyone for Dennis. Another classic. Along with Mike Yarwood's impression of Ted Heath (I was very young for that one. Honest!)

Rory Bremner has got Blair down to a 't'. Haven't seen anyone do Cherie yet, but I guess all you would have to do is walk into the nearest supermarket and start loading freebies into a very large bag whilst at the same gurning and going cross eyed...

Bin Laden would be another easy target for a take off by Bremner. Can't imagine him ever doing it though. Salman Rushdie II here we come...

Dario Rosati
11-09-2006, 11:35 AM
They don't have a sense of humour and they don't even have a language of their own. Guys, maybe you could at least learn to spell if you're going to borrow ours....

When I was young, my english teacher (he was scottish) when someone asked him the difference between english and american, simply said laughing

"Oh not much you have to care for - simply imagine me with a potato in the mouth while speaking, that's american"

I cannot figure out at the time, but after meeting many americans and british people in my life and watching some UK/USA films with the original soundtrack, I can say the statement fits pretty well to my perception... :p
I always panic when I have to phone an american for job-related stuff :D