Sexual harrassment

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[Lucy Smith]

I've been reading all previous polls and I noticed that the first ones didn't have a discussion. I found this one particularly interesting, especially because of the alarming amount of people who voted Yes. Well at least I think it is alarming.

Have you ever experienced or witnessed sexual harrassment in aikido? - 6/17/2000
Yes 61 votes (15%)
No 309 votes (76%)
I don't do aikido 32 votes (7%)
402 total votes

Aren't we trying to prevent this sort of things from happening? I mean, a lot of women do Aikido after or during abusive relationships. So, if anyone has answered Yes, or would today, or if you just feel like telling your opinion, it'll be apreciated :)

[MikeLogan]

This might not be quite what you were looking for, but the closest I've ever seen has been from guys who think they just shouldn't have to practice with women, calling it a waste of time. Thankfully I've never witnessed nor experienced genuine harassment, but the aforementioned is pretty godawful too.

[Chris Li]

I've been reading all previous polls and I noticed that the first ones didn't have a discussion. I found this one particularly interesting, especially because of the alarming amount of people who voted Yes. Well at least I think it is alarming.



Aren't we trying to prevent this sort of things from happening? I mean, a lot of women do Aikido after or during abusive relationships. So, if anyone has answered Yes, or would today, or if you just feel like telling your opinion, it'll be apreciated :)

Surveys vary quite a bit, but 15% is probably on the low end if you compare it to most surveys of workplace sexual harassment.

Best,

Chris

[Steve Mullen]

i have never witnessed sexual harrassment in the dojo, probably for two reasons

1) all the people i train with are a sound bunch of guys and girls
2) if anyone tried to be inappropriate with any of the girls i train with....the girls would kill them......several times (they scare me)

I feel that with a martial art such as aikido (i.e with the levels of physical closeness you need to have for things to work) you need to feel confident that the person who you are throwing your hips into (for a koshinage for example) isn't getting off on it.

Yeah occassionally when you are training you might touch/grab something you didn't mean to, but as long as that trust is there nothing will be thought of it.

So no touchy feely dammit!!!!!! ;)

[Nick P.]

I think as long as you are an open dojo, and have chosen to accept all types of people, it stands to reason you will get a good cross-section of the general population; whites, blacks, browns, yellows, misc, christian, jew, muslim, budhist, short, tall, thin, fat, smart, stupid, smoker, non-smoker, heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, omni sexual, metro sexual, liberal, conservative, marxist-lennonist, sexual predator, sexual deviant, pedophile, necrophiliac, murderer, extortionist, dangerous driver, drunk driver, driving without a license, etc etc

The only way I think you could exclude undesirable behaviour is to exclude those who bring it into the dojo. That would probably require a VERY explicit, and probably illegal in most parts of the world, interview and acceptance process.

See or experience anything inappropriate on the mat? I would tell that person to stop now AND ask them to leave AND tell the Sensei right away. My Sensei trusts me enough that if something that wrong happened he would back my actions.

[Hanna B]

Sexual harrassment - let's start with defining the word... which I think is a major issue here.

Without anyone commenting the poll, is impossible to know what the people who voted "yes" refers to. I have seen (and been subjected to) gender discrimination, although most of the aikido places I have been to have been better than most other places in that respect. I have been a member in a dojo where it seemed perfectly OK to a man my daddys age to expect getting hugs from me without any other reason than him saying so - that is the closest I get. Had he been an important figure in the dojo I would have left at once (now I stayed too long anyhow) but sexual harrassment? Nah, I wouldn't say so.

[Mark Freeman]

I think as long as you are an open dojo, and have chosen to accept all types of people, it stands to reason you will get a good cross-section of the general population; whites, blacks, browns, yellows, misc, christian, jew, muslim, budhist, short, tall, thin, fat, smart, stupid, smoker, non-smoker, heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, omni sexual, metro sexual, liberal, conservative, marxist-lennonist, sexual predator, sexual deviant, pedophile, necrophiliac, murderer, extortionist, dangerous driver, drunk driver, driving without a license, etc etc
.

Wow, you get a real cross section in Canadian dojos don't you, from Beatles loving Communists to omni sexuals ( what is one of those? :confused: ).
Me, I'll take them all in, apart from the 'misc's' you just cant trust someone that is beyond categorisation ;)

regards :D
Mark

[Nick P.]

Wow, you get a real cross section in Canadian dojos don't you, from Beatles loving Communists to omni sexuals ( what is one of those? :confused: ).
Me, I'll take them all in, apart from the 'misc's' you just cant trust someone that is beyond categorisation ;)

LOL!
Actually, I was refering to my days in Atlanta.
And yeah, don't trust those miscs.

All joking aside, sexual harasement is no laughing matter. It, like all human traights, is something we all have to deal with in a dojo, just like in every other part of our lives.

No-one more than I wishes that the dojo was a place where only good people with good motives and deeds and words congregated, but alas....

[Koren Ko]

I think as long as you are an open dojo, and have chosen to accept all types of people, it stands to reason you will get a good cross-section of the general population; whites, blacks, browns, yellows, misc, christian, jew, muslim, budhist, short, tall, thin, fat, smart, stupid, smoker, non-smoker, heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, omni sexual, metro sexual, liberal, conservative, marxist-lennonist, sexual predator, sexual deviant, pedophile, necrophiliac, murderer, extortionist, dangerous driver, drunk driver, driving without a license, etc etc

The only way I think you could exclude undesirable behaviour is to exclude those who bring it into the dojo. That would probably require a VERY explicit, and probably illegal in most parts of the world, interview and acceptance process.

See or experience anything inappropriate on the mat? I would tell that person to stop now AND ask them to leave AND tell the Sensei right away. My Sensei trusts me enough that if something that wrong happened he would back my actions.

I never saw any inappropriate action as in sexual harassment in my place, yet. :) Probably because most of them are young children and 90% boys.

However, if in a confined/finite of mat area, with a larger group of trainees in it. Unintentional, accidental body contact at the wrong place and wrong time will happen... :uch: You tell me, how to get through of this kind of situation? (Such as an opposite sex trainer fall on some opposite sex trainer, although softly, in stomach, hand/leg kick at someone hand/leg/back/head/front or sensitive areas...) :blush:

I kinda scared the hell out when my neighbour almost has her lower back dropped on my head when my partner was doing suwari-waza to me... To block the fall? To take the hit? sigh...

Anyway, on the issue here.
I think the general mentality and characteristic plays a part here. Like Nick said here, no sensei want to get a trouble maker in his/her dojo. Also, most martial art trainer will never allow to be taken advantage at. :)

[giriasis]

I have experienced it -- during kokyuho my partner allowed his hands to "accidently slip" and then he literally squeezed my breasts. Of course, he promptly had a fist in his face -- mine. Sensei was told and the next time I saw the jerk in class he didn't look very happy. And I never saw him after that. It's rare, but I'm in a large dojo living in a city where you do get all kinds of people so your bound to bring in some jerks. Fortunately, I had a sensei who believed me when I said it happened.

Also, sensei didn't see it happen because this jerk was pretty sneaky about how he did it. So just because you don't see it doesn't mean it might not have happened. Please trust your students.

[Richard Langridge]

Hehe, Steve's sig is a little worrying! :p

[Amelia Smith]

There are a couple of distinct elements to sexual harrasment. One is discrimination against a person because of his/her biological sex or gender. The other is inappropriate, unwelcome sexual advances, attention, etc. I've definitely heard a few inappropriate comments, but most of those were not all that serious, and the person responsible was told in no uncertain terms that it was inappropriate and/or rude. The biggest problem I've had was with predatory leering, especially when I was newer to aikido. Those who have experienced predatory leering evileyes know that it's totally different from casual looking or flirtation! It's very objectifying, and actually feels quite hostile. I think that as my aikido has improved, most of the predatory types haven't been able to objectify me quite so safely (they know that there might be a nikkyo in their future :D ) and of course I'm getting older too. Eventually, I'll be downright hag-like!

There is definitely some mutually consenting flirtation which takes place in aikido, from time to time, and as far as I'm concerned that has nothing to do with sexual harrasment, except that it makes the atmosphere less focused on training, and if there's a lot of it, people can start to get the impression that it's ok to flirt with anyone at any time on the mat, which is not good at all.

As for Steve's sig line, that's definitely not harrasment!

[merlynn]

i have never witnessed sexual harrassment in the dojo, probably for two reasons

1) all the people i train with are a sound bunch of guys and girls
2) if anyone tried to be inappropriate with any of the girls i train with....the girls would kill them......several times (they scare me)

I feel that with a martial art such as aikido (i.e with the levels of physical closeness you need to have for things to work) you need to feel confident that the person who you are throwing your hips into (for a koshinage for example) isn't getting off on it.

Yeah occassionally when you are training you might touch/grab something you didn't mean to, but as long as that trust is there nothing will be thought of it.

So no touchy feely dammit!!!!!! ;)

but lets not forget sexual harrasment works both waysit not just women who get it men do too

[Don_Modesto]

Hanna!

Long time, no see. I've missed your posts.

Sexual harrassment - let's start with defining the word... which I think is a major issue here.

I was thinking the same thing. And, as often happens when you've been to a thread first, you spoke my thoughts.

[Jory Boling]

I haven't seen it happen but I know of a lot of guys who are nervous about training with women, because of it. My friend's regular sensei frequently teaches kotegaeshi by tenkan-ing and ending up "posterior-to-posterior" during the technique. Sensei is short and my friend is pretty tall, so sometimes to make the point about the importance of position, sensei will reach down and slap uke's leg. my friend came to a seminar here in Japan and on autopilot, during kotegaeshi with a teen girl, slapped her "posterior." during the next break, he was EXTREMELY worried about it. thankfully, the trust was there and he didn't have 15 Japanese yudansha breathing down his neck.

[Man of Aiki]

In a culture where feminists have been creating havoc for over 2 generations, any endeavor, no matter what it is, where men and women are bound to come into physical contact with each other is going to be ground rife with opportunity for someone with an axe to grind to push an agenda.

Having said that, yes sexual harrassment goes on at Aikido dojos. It is rare, many Senseis would not tolerate it if made aware of the fact that an incident has happened in their dojo, and we must be vigilant against people that try to turn every interaction meeting between men and women into a sexual power struggle.

If someone had told me 20 years ago colleges would institute rules dictating dating rules between men and women, down to specific questions that have to be asked by the male every step along the way, I would have laughed out loud.

As a matter of fact, there were several colleges with rules of that nature in the late 1990's.

The common leftist tactic of 'creating a crisis' (hate speech, date rape on campus, etc.) leads to stringent rules that revokes freedoms between rational adults (speech codes, posting of pics of every male on campus as a 'potential rapist', etc.) Every word a white student speaks to a black student that the black student doesn't like leads to charges that the motive of 'racism' led to the offending statement, which puts the white student at the mercy of the college's 'hate speech' laws. Any physical contact whatsoever between a male and a hypersensitive feminist is an act of 'sexual harrasment' motivated by 'hatred of women' and a desire to oppress them. Any luckless male who happens to accidently touch such a person in the hall ends up being denounced and then forced to sit through 'sensitivity seminars'.

I recently read a transcript of a debate between a military recruiter (an Iraqi War Veteran) and an 'anti-military recruiter' who fronts a group that tries to drive military recruiters off of college campuses.

During the course of the debate, the anti-military recruiter claimed that 90% of the women who served in the armed forces claimed to be the victims of sexual harrassment. He then blew the game by going on to claim that OVER ONE THIRD OF THE WOMEN IN THE MILITARY CLAIM TO HAVE BEEN RAPED.

It's over-reaching like this that often exposes the agenda on the part of these activists. Around 210,000 women are currently serving in the Navy, Air Force, Marines and the Army. One third of that is 70,000.

So basically, what this guy was claiming is that over 70,000 current female military personnel claim to have been raped.

Hmmmmm. Wonder by who? I guess we're supposed to infer.....BY THEIR FELLOW MALE SOLDIERS, OF COURSE.

So basically this guy was not only managing to claim that military service by females creates an entire class of victims, he's also claiming that the US Military is chock-full of rapists. The US military is overwhelmingly hostile to females and exploits them, and by floating this figure and then quickly moving on, he creates a perception that stays with the audience.

70,000 rapes, if that is true, when it's widely accepted that over half of rapes are never reported, would mean the actual number is far higher.

Why so many female members of the military then re-up when their first enlistment is up must therefore remain a mystery. :)

Activists like this run around creating perceptions of 'epidemics' of 'rape' and 'harrassment' and then are all ready to make everything better with a list of rules longer than my arm. (Which is quite long by the way). And by the time you figure out that their 'facts' were totally bogus and that they were all made up, they've already got the rules in place and you're stuck.

Sucker.

manofaiki

[Nick P.]

Mr. Cates,

I agree that "we must be vigilant against people that try to turn every interaction meeting between men and women into a sexual power struggle."

However I am not quite sure who the "sucker" is at the end of your statement. Who exactly is the sucker?

Remember that pendulums have a nasty habit of swinging, and the feminists began creating their brand of havoc only after a really, really long period of men getting away with really, really awful behaviour....like not letting women vote, and our culture still not trusting the claims of the victims of sexual inpropriety.

[Man of Aiki]

Nick;

I in no way shape or form criticized genuine women's rights or the gains they have made.

I was criticizing strident feminism and the activists who have harmed the college experience the last 20 years or so for countless people, both male and female, with their ridiculous date rules, speech codes, hate speech laws, and so forth.

I can tell the difference between Susan B. Anthony and Betty Freidan.

Trust me on that. :)

[Dajo251]

I think it is key to be comfortable and trust the people you train with, I couldnt see any sexual harrasment happening with any of our regular member, the only way I could see it happening would be if a new comer or someone visiting did it. And even though Aikido is a very touchy thing, people know the difference between good touching and bad touching, at least I hope they do.

[Lucy Smith]

we must be vigilant against people that try to turn every interaction meeting between men and women into a sexual power struggle.
True. This is why trust between students is so important. I can tell the people I trust from the people I don't, but what if a person I trust does something clearly inapropiate? Those are the worst situations, because you feel like the world is falling apart. It hasn't happened to me in a Aikido class, which is great 'cause I like the Dojo being a place were the everyday world is left behind.

If someone had told me 20 years ago colleges would institute rules dictating dating rules between men and women, down to specific questions that have to be asked by the male every step along the way, I would have laughed out loud.
Yeah maybe it was too much, but don't you prefer this to women being uncertain whether men were abusing them or not? Maybe you don't. Well, you're not a woman.

Every word a white student speaks to a black student that the black student doesn't like leads to charges that the motive of 'racism' led to the offending statement, which puts the white student at the mercy of the college's 'hate speech' laws.
Again maybe too much, but we as caucasians have already made african-americans suffer enough, don't you think? And again I prefer a little bit fear, that will lead to a better treatment. At least as a short-term project.

Any luckless male who happens to accidently touch such a person in the hall ends up being denounced and then forced to sit through 'sensitivity seminars'.
Which won't do you no harm, don't worry.

During the course of the debate, the anti-military recruiter claimed that 90% of the women who served in the armed forces claimed to be the victims of sexual harrassment. He then blew the game by going on to claim that OVER ONE THIRD OF THE WOMEN IN THE MILITARY CLAIM TO HAVE BEEN RAPED.
Which I don't doubt at all. Or aren't you informed, that when soldiers were only male, female prisoners were raped, and dozens of prostitutes were hired and "used" by at least 20 soldiers each?

This is not strange, since those men were confined to be alone (with no women) for long periods of time. And if a woman is in the same room as theirs, well... good luck to her. They won't care if she's a soldier too, who is supposed to trust them. You may say "don't women feel lonely too?" Yea, but they won't lower themselves to meaningless sex with a punch of durty guys. So, they get raped.


So basically, what this guy was claiming is that over 70,000 current female military personnel claim to have been raped.
What is it that you find strange about this?

Hmmmmm. Wonder by who? I guess we're supposed to infer.....BY THEIR FELLOW MALE SOLDIERS, OF COURSE.
Of course. As I stated above. What, don't tell me you think soldiers are like gods or something. THEY ARE TRAINED TO KILL. To KILL human beings. Which means: MURDER. Which means: THE WORSE THING YOU CAN DO. So a little rape from time to time, what difference does it make?

So basically this guy was not only managing to claim that military service by females creates an entire class of victims, he's also claiming that the US Military is chock-full of rapists.
After jale, the worst, yeah. Absolutely.

70,000 rapes, if that is true, when it's widely accepted that over half of rapes are never reported, would mean the actual number is far higher.
Probably.

Why so many female members of the military then re-up when their first enlistment is up must therefore remain a mystery. :)
Oh, no. I will clarify it right away. They are just trying to prove themselves and others, that those things will not put them off, probably sometimes thinking that male soldiers do what they do to try and make women leave the military. (Just for the record, I don't think female soldiers are very intelligent either. And to you all: please don't take this as an insult; I just don't think that an intelligent person would want to kill someone. Not at all Aiki).

So Brian, it looks like we differ in a lot of things. Just opinions, don't hate me.

:)
:square: :circle: :triangle:
Lucy

[Man of Aiki]

Anybody who thinks that the American military is chock-full of rapists, and that over 70,000 currently serving female personnel have been raped.....

No I don't hate you, Lucy.

I just want you to start thinking for yourself, that's all.

[Man of Aiki]

You seem to have an exceptionally low view of the American military, Lucy.

American boys killing German and Japanese soldiers 50 years ago wasn't murder. That was war.

You also can't seem to tell the difference between democracies that send soldiers to liberate people and tolitatarian states that murder millions of their own citizens.

Because Hitler hated Jews, and happened to have millions of them living under his control, he went about systematically killing them and any other group of people he decided his perfect Reich could live without, like Gypsys and homosexuals.

Would have been nice if all the Germans and Americans could have joined hands in 1941 and sat down and sang Kumbaya together but unfortunately that didn't work out.

Let me clue you in: I have friends in Iraq, and friends in the American Military.

The American military is not chock full of rapists. Over 1/3rd of serving American female military personnel have not been raped.

That was a statistic some anti-military recruiter pulled out of his ass.

Just so you know.

[Lucy Smith]

You seem to have an exceptionally low view of the American military, Lucy.
We all hate the US military around the world, you see... no wait... you don't. How can you? Let me tell you something: at least here, we are always wondering when are you going to come for something... we don't have oil but we have plenty of water. Lots. And you are always attacking somewhere. But that's not the point. I hate all militarys. I hate all uruguayan soldiers as well. And yes they are rapists. Maybe they tell you they're heroes but they are no better than you and me, in fact they're much worse.

American boys killing German and Japanese soldiers 50 years ago wasn't murder. That was war.
Yeah, well, being that my definition of war is murder... you get your conclusions. I see it as murder because that tiny little shadow you kill from 100 meters; that's a human being. War is a devastating secuence of murder. And sometimes it gets way more personal than killing someone from a long distance.

You also can't seem to tell the difference between democracies that send soldiers to liberate people and tolitatarian states that murder millions of their own citizens.
Liberate people? Did you just wrote liberate people? All those people who are dying 'cause you want their oil are far from being liberated.

Let me clue you in: I have friends in Iraq, and friends in the American Military.
So...? I bet Bush doesn't.

The American military is not chock full of rapists. Over 1/3rd of serving American female military personnel have not been raped.
Right. Whatever. Aiki on this one... ich ni san...

That was a statistic some anti-military recruiter pulled out of his ass.
An anti-military recruiter is a pacifist. Don't insult him. :disgust:


:straightf
Lucy

[Lucy Smith]

Brian: read Neil Mick's thread: http://www.aikiweb.com/forums/showthread.php?t=10054

[Man of Aiki]

You hate all soldiers everywhere, you think they are bad people, much worse, and they rape alot.

I'm beginning to realize I'm not going to get far having a rational discussion with you, so I'll drop it here.

[Lucy Smith]

yeah just what I was thinking about you ;)

anyway we are out of subject here

:p :) :cool:

Lucy

[Lorien Lowe]

I'll drag this back on kicking and screaming:
There's always incidental squashing, touching, and whomping of sensitive parts by both sexes on the mats; I've had my hand accidentally taken where it ordinarily shouldn't go as often as I've had hands go where they ordinarily shouldn't on me. The thing is, when we're training hard I barely notice. I'm sure it's happened more times on both sides than I'm consciously aware of.
When it does come up, as with a newbie, I usually get a very red face and an 'oh, sorry!' The one time I've experienced harassment on the mat, it was 'OOoooohh that was nice! I liked that!' after a sempai accidentaly squashed a breast during irimi-nage. Biiiiig difference.
I've turned men 180 degrees by glaring at them, before, and he immediately knew he'd done something wrong. I kept training (unfortunately, his ukemi was too good for me to really kill him), and after class I made it clear what exactly my problem was. I never had a problem with him again; later he quit training.

-LK

[Hanna B]

Thank you Lorien for bringing the thread back on topic.

[Steve Mullen]

and he immediately knew he'd done something wrong. I kept training (unfortunately, his ukemi was too good for me to really kill him), and after class I made it clear what exactly my problem was. I never had a problem with him again; later he quit training.

-LK


at the risk of sounding like an extra off the Jerry Springer show YOU GO GIRL!!! :D :D :D
He would be beaten half to death by most of the girls/ladies/those of the double x chromosome.
Then the guys would beat him the other half

[Koren Ko]

I have experienced it -- during kokyuho my partner allowed his hands to "accidently slip" and then he literally squeezed my breasts. Of course, he promptly had a fist in his face -- mine. Sensei was told and the next time I saw the jerk in class he didn't look very happy. And I never saw him after that. It's rare, but I'm in a large dojo living in a city where you do get all kinds of people so your bound to bring in some jerks. Fortunately, I had a sensei who believed me when I said it happened.

Also, sensei didn't see it happen because this jerk was pretty sneaky about how he did it. So just because you don't see it doesn't mean it might not have happened. Please trust your students.

Errr...ok, you r pretty straight and fast to react... :uch:
How will an opposite-sex trainer react and behave so not to get a fist?

[Steve Mullen]

ermmm by not squeezing anne marie's breasts seems like a good start.

I think (and forgive me if im wrong) what anne marie was doing here was highlighting the fact that there is a difference between the accidental brushing of an intimate part when training, and a full on grope, or even taking advantage of what starts as an accidental brushing

[Steve Mullen]

I think the simple solution to the whole sexual harrassment problem is to not let women train with us men ;) :D :crazy:

As i now fear for my safety i would like to point out that the above statement was made totally in jest and very tongue-in-cheek, hence the ;) please don't kill me, and definately don't tell the aiki-sirens from the humour section, they scare me so badly :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :uch:

Seriously though, i think the biggest thing (and it's been mentioned above) is trust, trusting your training partner not to take advantage of those types of situation, or the physicality of our type of art.

[Steve Mullen]

Oooops, didn't meant to hit post repyl then.

right, were was i.....ah yes the trust thing.

The trust is so important in this type of art that on the odd occassion harrassment of any kind does happen it's kind of multiplied as there is the betrayal of trust issue to

so, once again NO TOUCHY FEELY DAMMIT

[Dirk Hanss]

OT: Steve, did you ever realise the <edit> button?

So if submit unwillingly or realise a mistake just after post submitted, you can edit it and post the corrected version.

Hope that helps ;)


Dirk

[Steve Mullen]

he he thanks dirk

[merlynn]

I think the simple solution to the whole sexual harrassment problem is to not let women train with us men

As i now fear for my safety i would like to point out that the above statement was made totally in jest and very tongue-in-cheek, hence the ;) please don't kill me, and definately don't tell the aiki-sirens from the humour section, they scare me so badly :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :uch:

Seriously though, i think the biggest thing (and it's been mentioned above) is trust, trusting your training partner not to take advantage of those types of situation, or the physicality of our type of art.

too late steve we are on to you evileyes

[Steve Mullen]

No i love women on the mat

they just scare me so badly

[merlynn]

No i love women on the mat

they just scare me so badly

evileyes mwahahahahahahahahahahahaha evileyes

[Richard.B.Martin]

You hate all soldiers everywhere, you think they are bad people, much worse, and they rape alot.

I'm beginning to realize I'm not going to get far having a rational discussion with you, so I'll drop it here.

As a Military Veteran, and someone who has witnessed the after-effects of unwanted sexual harassment of women (and men) in the military, and the inevitable harassment of those who dared to report it up the chain of command...and the deleterious effect upon their careers and lives.

I have to condemn you and your attitude Mr. Cates. For I have seen little to no rationality in your assertions nor your reactions to those who question your stance. I know that my comment is being made many years after the fact, but I feel the need to say something lo these many years after.

Such an attitude of yours, is one of the biggest reasons why so many in the military tend to turn against it, after they muster out.

Now, for everyone else who is reading this. Allow me to put forth some facts that many of the Conservatives in America refuse to face:
1) Q) Is there a great deal of sexual flirtation in the military?
A) Yes, there is. Often young adults are put into incredibly stressful situations in the military. This includes such minor traumas as Basic Training, on up to having someone attempt to kill them. Naturally, this is all to be expected.
Thus, many of these young, healthy, physically-fit' young adults out on their own for the first time, choose to unwind and de-stress in various ways: working out, drinking, partying, and yes- sex.

Which inevitably leads to situations wherein someone is unable to consent to sex, and the male-other chooses to continue in the absence of consent, or is undaunted when refused consent.

Unfortunately in American Culture, many of our males are taught many things growing up that they shouldn't; up to and including an overblown sense of entitlement. For this assertion I put forth the notion of Affluenza and the young male from Texas whose name is now permanently attached to such an adjective.

But, my biggest beef with society, is that which we don't teach our young men: Which is- "Don't Rape". We don't teach or tell our young men to not rape. Inevitably, whensoever I bring up such a suggestion I am usually shouted at, or cussed at, for even mentioning such a 'radical-leftist' idea. Which is sad, really.

Sad, because Society has a kazillion suggestions on how to get women to change their behaviors to avoid being raped, as if the onus is supposed to be on them. Yet invariably rape occurs because a man has chosen to instigate it.

If you ever choose to reply to my comment Mr. Cates- I would have a question for you: Is your attitude concerning the 'radical/feminist/leftists' of America, the kind of attitude that O Sensei would have adopted?

I think we both know the answer to that one.

It is my sincerest hope that you've changed your ways in the years since you've made that rather immature and dismissive comment in your last reply.

So, in summation: Recently I have learned a bit of advice that I have started to emulate when it comes to my personal behavior both on and off the Mat.

"Never say anything to a woman in life, that you'd rather not have a Man say to you in prison."

Good day.:ai: :ki: :do: