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Home > Columns > Paul Schweer > September, 2004 - Too Sad
by Paul Schweer

Too Sad by Paul Schweer

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My wife, who loves me very much, graciously tolerates my flirtation with aikido. This does not mean she has any interest in the art, and I've given up trying to introduce her to it. My attempts were just too sad to continue, and I'm proud to say I gave them up... after a couple of years.

It usually went something like this....

"What are you doing?"

"Nothin," I'd say.

"You're doing some of that jodo stuff."

"Aikido," I'd say.

"Well, it didn't work."

"You sure?"

"Yes," she'd say.

"Let me try again."

She'd play along.

"How bout that?"

She'd say, "Nope."

I'd try again. "Now?"

"Nothing," she'd say.

Well, one more time. "How about this?"


This, for some reason, was an ineffective way to demonstrate to her the beauty and art of aikido. But she loves me. And I don't try anymore to explain things to her. And I've learned to demonstrate, if anything, restraint. I shrug a lot, and say things like, "I like it." It usually gets me by.

And her patience is rewarded in ways that I'm sure make up for everything. Just this past week I heard her say, "This whole room stinks like one of your dirty gi outfits."

But she's in favor of my practice, and supports me in it. Like the time she fixed my lip with superglue, or taught me how to buddy-tape my broken toe. Don't know why she sometimes worries about me.

"You bruise too easily."

"No I don't," I'll say.

"We need to get you a blood test."

"Nothing is wrong with me."

And she'll give me a look.

And I'll think again how she really has no idea what it is we do at the dojo. I'd try to show her a little something, but I'm proud to say I gave that up... after a couple of years.

But it's okay she doesn't know. She loves me. And I....

I don't know much. But I do have a wife who knows more than I think. Knows me better than I know myself. Knows what she needs to know. Knows enough for both of us.

Good thing.

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