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trademark8806's Blog Blog Tools Rating: Rate This Blog
Creation Date: 06-14-2009 01:51 AM
Blog Info
Status: Public
Entries: 68
Comments: 185
Views: 220,741

In General I feel like froud... Entry Tools Rate This Entry
  #66 New 08-09-2011 12:44 AM
Tonight i took my 4th Kue test, I should be happy and exceted, but I not! I can't say that any test has gone as plyned , but this one I not even postive that I actuly did some of teques at all. I mean on pervious test I sure I messed up, but not like this and not like you could not even reconise what the teque was. I so , epicaly failyed, onmy difense I siad I was not readdy, but I did it anyway, out of trust in sisay and another sutdent whom siad I coould do it. I gess they were wrong! I feel like I let them down more then my self , becaue I already at lest was nto sure, I gess it just conformed it. Sisay , I don't think has ever not passed anyone, and so I am sure I passed. However, if you look at that fact that he went up to the mom of the other testy and siad she did assume and when my dad came to get me he siad nothing, I must not have done all that well. I feel like if accept the award and belt that he says he will send to me, It would be lie. However , I dear not say that to him becaue I was told along time ago that if you question the belt level then you question sisay, and I addmire him and trust him too much to go disrepecting intealy him. I feel like it more like school he is just doing it because he "has" to or something not like earned it. I know some of the stuff but not nearly as well as I should and I defently failed tonignt. I felt sick to my stumic for the rest of the night , still do. I gess I know now the asnwer to my last blog.. I jsut dont want it to be so. Today was so good, I felt conccnoed kinda agin, oh well. I just tryed of trying when I gess I relly am geting nowhere!
Views: 2246 | Comments: 6

RSS Feed 6 Responses to "I feel like froud..."
#6 09-06-2011 11:34 PM
I feel like this often as well, and I am a shodan. But then I remind myself that I still have my whole life to learn, and realize that what's really important is the journey, not the destination.
#5 08-25-2011 06:30 AM
LinTal Says:
I actually think that you questioning and wanting to learn marks you as rather a good student to have around, it's no good being just good at technical aikido if your attitude's not in the right place. Our feelings can send us in every direction and let us down and mess us up if we haven't figured out what's important in our heads first. Commit to the love of learning and you'll always be the most worthwhile student to share life with. Well done on coming so far.
#4 08-10-2011 11:38 PM
Thanks , porhaps your right. To some deagree I supose trusting in teacher knonwing , more then I is porbbly a good idea.
#3 08-10-2011 07:34 PM
Linda Eskin Says:
You feel like you might not be good enough to have truly earned your rank. The fact that it upsets you shows that you have integrity, that you want your rank to mean something, and you want to do your best. Those all point to being a good student. If you were interested in advancing in rank, no matter what, I'd be concerned. Don't worry, even if rank and skill do get a little out of sync now and then, each will eventually catch up to the other.
#2 08-10-2011 10:32 AM
Yes I have questions , but none you can ask anyone ? What makes you think I am a good student, I not so sure I am anymore? Thanks itherway for reading and offering input.
#1 08-09-2011 09:01 PM
Diana Frese Says:
I have heard or read many times that people sometimes feel they are on a plateau and not making progress, then later they find out they did progress, they did learn a lot at that time. You probably did better than you think. In any case, I've been thinking since your last post that you should talk to sensei and seniors and just ask for their advice because you have questions. I've heard that it is good to have questions. Good luck, I think you are a good student.

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