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In General
Leading (in more ways than one)
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#222
 01-24-2007 09:33 AM |
I have extremely high standards. I guess I don't need to say this to those of you who know me well and/or have practiced with me. I take my training seriously --- far too seriously to some. Each night on the mats is a constant struggle --- a duel to the death --- if you will, between who I am and who I want to be.
I know it may sound overly dramatic, but there is a duality at work here that (when I stop to think about it) you can't really avoid in an art such as Aikido. There is the me that is the practitioner: the woman whose Aikido is made up of mere physical movements that have come about based upon her own individual physiology, skills and experience. Right now, this woman is currently trying to delve beyond the physical aspects of the art that are seemingly visible to the eye. Gone are the days of figuring out what to move. *How* to move concerns her more now. She is experimenting with timing, extension, alignment --- essentially, the aspect of leading --- and how these all influence kuzushi (or lack thereof, in her case).
There is also the me that is exemplified by the quality of my character. She is a woman who strives to be the very best role model she can be for not only the other female practitioners in the dojo, but for any and all who wish to see value in what she does both on and off the mats. She takes her role as senior student extremely seriously. She also wishes others took her, as a practitioner, seriously. She wonders what it will take.
...and she wonders what --- when both these worlds within her merge --- what the confluence of her mind, body and soul will look like when they finally do.
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