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In General
Back in the Saddle Again
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#154
 12-16-2004 05:00 PM |
Well, I took the plunge. I *finally* bloody well picked a new dojo. After three weeks just getting settled in this city, let's just say that The Year of Hell still isn't over.
But you know what? Man, does it ever feel good to be back on the mats again. Even if it means --- once again --- going through the whole process of looking stupid, feeling like an outsider, tolerating the initial bemused looks that say, "Oh, it's only another girl. Nothing special." But I know that's just my good old friends, Pride and Ego, talking. They'll quiet down soon enough.
Don't get me wrong. The folks at Portland Aikikai are friendly enough. I just have enough foresight to know that no matter what, the dynamic will be different. And how.
At least we did some Randori. Okay, so it was more like Jiyu Waza. For just one technique. With ukes graciously taking turns instead of rushing you at once. And they rarely do it. Oh well. It's something.
I feel like I'm re-learning things again. Sheesh. I mean, it's not like this should come as a big surprise. Every dojo does things differently and this place is no exception. But what disturbs me is that the thought actually crossed my mind that: I'll finally feel settled in there once I reach the same level of conformity as everyone else. Yikes. What's up with that? But it's true. Getting used to a new warm-up. Getting used to new dojo-specific etiquette. Getting used to a whole new pecking-order. If there's anything (and there are many things) that training at different dojos has taught me, it's that we become complacent.
We let ourselves be satisfied with diligence in a certain environment. Then once that rug gets pulled out from under you, you have to regain your footing. It's unnerving at times, but I like the challenge. I want to get to the point where it doesn't matter how much the ground beneath my feet changes --- I'll be able to both adapt and stay perfectly stable.
I miss the camaraderie I had with the guys at North Winnipeg Aikikai. Hearing the guys at this place chitchat and laugh together, with a wall separating us is too strange to me. I guess I have to get used to being considered "one of the girls" now. It sucks.
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