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Far too much time has passed since my last class. If my child is not in the process of coming into the world I think I will go to class tonight.
In my time away from the dojo, I've been doing my best to try to focus on the world as an environment conducive to training. I've been relating my daily interactions to the principles that the mat has taught me. I've been seeing others as a means of connecting and trying to gauge my effectiveness in blending with them in my day to day interactions. Trying to look back at them to see where I should have entered or gone around and to see where I moved just right.
I've even been trying to make sure that my breathing is controlled from my hara like it should be. Trying to make the energy connections with everyone... attempting to make it subconscious. Trying to let my mind wander into imagery during interactions while still staying focused on the task/conversation at hand.
And today the morning sky seemed to have entered on my perceptions. I was idling at a stop sign waiting to turn onto a busy street during rush our. Focused intently on the seemingly endless stream of cars, trucks, SUVs, and minivans. Suddenly the sky pulled my focus back. It was just as the sun was trying to break through the horizon and spread it's warmth. There were a smattering of clouds and a few jet trails illuminated in the most serene blend of pink and orange backed by a pale blue that bled into a dark purple speckled with the small white dots of distant stars. All at once the intense focus I had on the here and now, the forced tension of the moment, the unclear yet driving sense of purpose all faded and for a few moment I just existed with the universe.
I think the need for balance is greatly overlooked in our society to the point that the balance that is achieved is only accomplished because of the absurd contrasts in our zealot driven extremes. We find perfect examples in seemingly every facet of the modern world. I long for the world to return to where the middle ground is common. I feel like Aikido has and will continue to help me pursue a balance in my life and I hope that by my example I am able to instill in others a desire for the same balance.
As the birth of my first child draws near I find myself being forced to balance more aspects of my life, at the detriment of my training time. This is why I have been intent on applying the lessons of Aikido to regular day to day situations.
Now I need to get back to training even if it isn't as often as I'd like, I'm setting out a goal to make it to class no less than once a week with a goal of twice a week (at least until I settle into a balance with my soon to be quite different family life).