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So I winessed a fight this weekend ... well sort of. Was in the car with my kids drivring past a local high school as the soccer games were in flux- the traffic light was red. Saw a fat guy well into the precursor stage of getting physical with a skinny guy. The body language was crystal clear to me that skinny guys big mouth had gotten the better of fat guys temperment. There was also a woman and a child present but it was very mixed to whom the child held dear which I found remarkably disconcerting.
The fat guy shoves skinny then takes off his sweatshirt and shoves again and I see where this is going and the light turns green. I really wanted to do something but I exhaled and drove on to the hardware store (that's where we were going). My decision bothered me quite a bit and after our business at the hardware store was concluded we drove by the scene again (nothing there).
I think my oldest did notice what was happening but we didn't speak of it. I know many will opine that taking care of mine is more important but that is no comfort. What about the child? I could have just stuck my head out the window and yelled "NO" or "STOP" and I bet something would have changed. I really wanted to go over there and play my standard protective role for the sake of the child. I'm way bigger than either of the fellers so my usual intimidation by presence would have likely quelled things like it usually does. Nope. Nothing. Just drove away.
I've always found it easy to be critical. A well developed critical ability comes in handy in most every field of endeavor. "Healthy" or constructive criticism is often offered by those with an opinion but one is just as likely for find other types of critical commentary readily and copiously offered. Lately I've been working on keeping my opinions to myself.
When ever I feel the urge to opine rising I think to myself "What would O'sensei have to say about my own training?" and my urge subsides quickly. Just how many truly dedicated, serious and otherwise fully committed students of aikido were relatively sure of their direction along the path and had heard the words from the source "That's not my aikido!"
It is not humility but common sense that stays the all too frequent urge to offer opinions and/or criticism: If those so close to the founder were so far off the mark with what surety can those of us two, three or four "generations" removed can we audaciously cling?
The more I read the more I feel compelled to post. Then I read some more and begin to feel unsettled. Now I just don't think I should post all! There are so many seriously experienced and knowledgable folks here that it seems rude to consider posting.
The more I train the more I realize I have very little understanding of what I'm striving after. What I knew and did last year seems confused now. Two years ago I was just wrong. More than two years ago I'm embarassed that I was even seen in public doing that stuff - much less posting about it!
For me this last year has proven that shodan really is just the beginning. I've barely scratched the surface ... just finding the extent of the surface is tough much less the volume bounded by the surface (keep your fractal commentary to yourself).
01-09-2012 02:03 PM 