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. At least I wasn;t the only one who sucked last night,and I think i am entering better on jiyuwaza but I also got the same damn correstion I ALWAYS get-too much head & shouolders while simultaneously trying to back away from uke. I Can't Feel It.. I know this is the body's default position when I feel threatened, the system just wants to plow through any opposition so my head goes forward while my center goes back and I get stuck in the middle.
Bill, my other teacher, told me I was "doing fine" but i'm all freaked cuz I'm going symptomatic with my mdical stuff on the mat now and this has never happened before.medical stuff being essentially non-life-threatening and largely psychosomatic and stress-elated and very,very annoying and disr=tracting on the mat.
Right now I am ready to not only bail from the test but my theatrical and social plans for the next two months.
I will not die
I will not quit
I will cry a lot