Hi, I do wonder why some aikidokas will bend backwards and follow some egoistic" my way or the highway" senseis even though they can see, time and again, that most of the other black belt students cannot even do the tachi wazas correctly. Let alone jiyu wazas

Natasha: Sorry to hear things didn't work out for you --- I wish you all the best and I do hope you're able to find another place to train again soon. For myself, I feel rather fortunate that my Sensei and I aren't "dating". Instead, it turned out that over the course of the past three years that we've known each other, we discovered that we just so happen to share a great many values as well as common interests outside of Aikido --- ultimately, we became best friends and are now planning on getting married in the next few months. Devon & JAMTX: So thankfully, it's not always about "abuse of power" at all. Actually, there have been some good discussions in threads about this very subject --- George Ledyard makes some very good points on the matter here: http://www.aikiweb.com/forums/showpost.php?p=69646&postcount=47

There are some good comments on the Abuse of Power thread.

Ouch! Sorry to hear it all went pear-shaped. It's nice to know, though, that some of his other pupils are obviously on your side... and it's good to hear such a bad experience hasn't put you off Aikido itself! I wish you a much happier new year.

I think you have this backward. Your Sensei should have never dated you. This violates the teacher/student agreement. It may not be in writing, but it's definitely an unwritten rule and violates a business ethic. I'd like to know what school and which school and which teacher. I wouldn't be sending my daughter there, or anyone for that matter. He could have ruined your entire path of martial arts. Now do not get me wrong. If you were his girlfriend and then decided to join his class, than this is different, but it should never be vice versa. I am sorry, and I apologize that this had to happen. I am really upset about it and I do not even know you personally. Take care, and please do not let his bad behavior ruin the arts for you. You may want to take another art outside of Aikido for awhile just to try and bring it back for you. I suggest kickboxing to let out some aggression. It may help.

Your story is very typical and not at all uncommon. Sensei should never data student. Unfortunately, there is a growing number of dojo operators who see the school as a private dating club. They just move on from student to student.