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My Path Blog Tools Rating: Rate This Blog
Creation Date: 06-08-2009 02:55 PM
Linda Eskin
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My path to and through Aikido. Observations on Aikido, horses, & life, by a 52 y/o 1st kyu.

This same blog (with photos and a few additional trivial posts, but without comments) can be found at www.grabmywrist.com.

I train with Dave Goldberg Sensei, at Aikido of San Diego.
Blog Info
Status: Public
Entries: 218
Comments: 359
Views: 346,252

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In Spiritual A Little More Freedom Entry Tools Rate This Entry
  #41 New 11-09-2009 01:16 AM
There is class on Monday (day 4 of 16), but because of a prior commitment I won't be there. So no training notes for day 4. It's the only day I'll be missing class.

Instead, I offer this, about my recent experience of trying to write a little information about my background:
Leaving Some Things Behind

I started to explain who I
Have been throughout the years

Justify my limitations
Perhaps excuse my fears

The stories told of loss and pain
And how life wasn't fair

Like dirty water to a fish
The stories were just there

But the more I wrote
The more it seemed
Those stories weren't mine

They'd lost their hold
And left me free
My own life to define

Linda Eskin
Copyright 2009
I know, intellectually, that we need not be defined by our pasts. We can start now, where we are, and create our own futures anew. I had known that, but still felt ensnared by a litany of Perfectly Good Reasons for being who I was. They were some really solid reasons, too.

But when I sat down recently to list these things they suddenly seemed insignificant, powerless, and pointless. Not like something I should try to ignore, and move ahead in spite of, but truly meaningless, at a gut level. It felt ridiculous even to be writing them down, and so I stopped.

I'm sure there will be times when stories from my past will seem more present and real than they do right now. But I won't forget this.
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