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moon in the water Blog Tools Rating: Rate This Blog
Creation Date: 04-26-2010 11:46 PM
the water does not try
to reflect the moon
and the moon has no desire
to be reflected
but when the clouds clear
there is the moon in the water
Blog Info
Status: Public
Entries: 155
Comments: 1,111
Views: 1,557,027


In Teaching should I teach my child how to fight? Entry Tools Rate This Entry
  #123 New 06-20-2012 10:12 AM
should I teach my child how to fight?
Aikido by Tonya Staab
Is it a father's job to teach his kid to fight? - The Washington Post

This is a cool article from the Washington Post by Joel Stein. And it asks an important question: should I teach my child how to fight?

As parents we want to protect our children. From harm. From bad things. From the world. Some children - like Joel's perhaps, and like Joel himself certainly - are not interested in learning how to fight.

Joel Stein believes kindness and gentleness are better than fighting. But anyway he'll let his son try a mixed martial arts class.

Being a dad is knowing when your kid will be receptive to certain lessons. But that's not it. I'm the one who is never going to be ready. Even when he's 20, I'll be trying to distract him from the violence of the world. I'll be proud of his kindness, his gentleness, his ability to extract revenge by firing off pointed satire on Twitter.
So what is the answer? Should you? Should you teach your child how to fight? Or should you teach your child how not to fight.


nice photo: Aikido by Tonya Staab

my home page with a mirror of these blog posts plus other stuff: mooninthewater.net/aikido

my columns on aikiweb

niall matthews 2012
Views: 4716 | Comments: 18

RSS Feed 18 Responses to "should I teach my child how to fight?"
#18 06-29-2012 11:08 AM
niall Says:
Thanks for the quote James. I don't think you need to know how to fight. That's just one way.
#17 06-29-2012 10:39 AM
niall Says:
I'm sorry to hear about your daughter Billy. Perhaps one day she will get over her resistance to learning aikido. I'm not convinced that not reacting is the best way for her to deal with bullying though.
#16 06-29-2012 10:26 AM
niall Says:
Mary I admire your equanimity and the way you always try to keep on the real path of aikido.
#15 06-29-2012 10:17 AM
niall Says:
Thanks Graham. Yes that sounds like a good day.
#14 06-28-2012 05:23 PM
James Sawers Says:
To paraphrase Sun Tzu: "The best fight is the fight you don't fight"; still, I think you need to learn how to fight to be able to do this.
#13 06-26-2012 07:51 AM
Makochan Says:
Hi Niall; recently my daughter asked me to teach her how to punch, I did then she punched me, it hurt. She gets bullied at school a lot, she does not react, fortunately for the other kids, she bottles it up till she gets home and we can tell her we love her and that she is special. Don't think I could teach her Aikido she wouldn't listen, she says I know nothing, bless her!! Best, Billy
#12 06-23-2012 08:11 PM
Like a woman in a fifties movie where she just stands and screams while she is being attacked.
#11 06-23-2012 06:33 PM
Yeah, suppose it was kind of reverse psychology. To me it was more a matter of letting him be, keeping the door always open and 'trying' to be an example. It was quite a day when he came to me and said "Dad, I think I'm ready now" Peace.G.
#10 06-23-2012 12:34 PM
niall Says:
Thanks James. Yes that sounds very sensible. Let me know if you want any help any time with links or photos. I didn't know anything about it either at first. Niall
#9 06-23-2012 12:32 PM
niall Says:
Thanks for your reply Mary. I don't quite see what you mean by a womanly response to self-defence. A stiletto to the temple? Niall
#8 06-22-2012 03:15 PM
James Sawers Says:
Niall: That is a difficult question. It is not just a matter of teaching a child to fight, but also of the various circumstances in which fighting is the appropriate response. So, fighting skills should be part of a philosophy of life. You, as a parent have to live this kind of life, actualizing it, serving as a model for the child. Ultimately, you can't force a child to learn to fight. Thanks for the advice on live-linking, but my IT skills are even worse than my fighting skills.
#7 06-22-2012 02:27 PM
I talked about situations with each child when it came up in life. I hope I gave them examples and ideas other than what is traditionally portrayed as womanly responses to self-defense situations. And as a power of example I take extremely good care of myself.
#6 06-22-2012 09:50 AM
niall Says:
Thanks Graham. I remember you said you used reverse psychology with your son and waited until he was ready. Niall
#5 06-22-2012 09:38 AM
niall Says:
Thanks for the recommendations Mary. Your book sounds very interesting. Having explained to James how to do a live link with tags I will now put one using the globe/chain insert link icon right above this comment box: Mary Eastland's book on Amazon: Self-Defense for Every Day. What would you do Mary if a child wasn't interested in learning? Niall
#4 06-22-2012 09:28 AM
niall Says:
Thanks James. Good answer. How about when your child doesn't want to learn to fight? By the way if you want to put a live link to your website use the [ url ]mooninthewater.net[ /url ] tags with no spaces inside the square brackets which gives mooninthewater.net. You can use them on your signature too. Niall

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