And another thing. Although I do not really know what your superiors meant with "too soft on your uke" and I have not seen your test, I would like to point out that generally speaking "too soft" and "too hard" are not relevant criteria of successful performance in aikido. They are mostly measures of style, not correctness. Some people are softer with their ukes, and others are harder. Some people adapt the level of softness to their ukes. Some styles of aikido are softer, and others are harder.

With all due respect to your superiors, it is they who failed your first kyu test. A responsible teacher would never have a person take a test if they are not fairly confident the test will be passed. I can understand that there will be students who will have to take their test the second time. But four times is outrageous and completely irresponsible. Congratulations on not giving up aikido because of this!

I was too soft on my uke. The grading before that I was too rough. The grading before that I was too soft. The grading before that I was too rough.........

Oh, man... Sorry. Do you know why you failed, or is it a mystery? Is it something you agree with (as in "yes, I really did do X badly"), or do you think you're doing things right, and just being failed for some other reason? Is it something you can fix? Do you do OK most of the time, and fall apart from nerves on the test? Is that something you can work on? Can you do private lessons with your teacher? Sorry... Maybe we could make Helping You Pass Next Time into a group project. <sigh>

Thats just wrong ketsan I admire your courage and determination for taking it.