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Misguided ramblings Blog Tools Rating: Rate This Blog
Creation Date: 07-14-2007 05:40 PM
Possibly an endless train of possibly Aikido related thought.
Blog Info
Status: Public
Entries: 113
Comments: 84
Views: 342,383

In General Body follows mind Entry Tools Rate This Entry
  #110 New 12-10-2011 10:15 PM
I think I'm fighting to become me. I feel that this explains my depression most of the time, aside from the fact that I'm bipolar and all that. More like fighting to just be me. I can't quite believe who I am, that's what therapy seems to be showing me.

And usually when I'm just being me it's on the mat because I'm being attacked and there's no space in my head to be anything else; I can't hold on to myself and respond at the same time and it feels awesome.

The grading panel want to see if I'm good enough for dan grade, so I'll show them me. Not an Aikidoka, not a martial artist, not a student, not a 1st kyu hoping to be dan grade, not how I think I should be, just me.Not even me doing Aikido anymore.How can I do Aikido? I can't seperate me from my Aikido, it is not something I do: It's who I am so I will be me. Just me.
Views: 1979 | Comments: 1

RSS Feed 1 Responses to "Body follows mind"
#1 12-11-2011 04:46 AM
LinTal Says:
I think that's what they'd be more interested in seeing anyway. I know what you mean, having depression heightens your awareness for these sorts of issues. The duality of the inside and outside can fade though, they can combine, which will allow this greater awareness to shine through.

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