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Today I was planning on attending the beginners' class at the dojo, but was reminded of another obligation I had agreed to. This whole day was one of the worst I've had in a long time. I was in a foul mood from how my body has been feeling, my lack of sleep, other things I'd rather not mention, and the fact that I wasn't going to the dojo...again. And the wee-est lad has a scream that cuts me to the quick like few things can. I was feeling like a miserable fuck, not to put too fine a point on it.
I really didn't want to do anything but crawl into a dark hole. However, by the time we were leaving our little get-together, I felt better...but still needed to blow off some of that pent-up steam, and so my son and I decided to splash in puddles the whole way back to the van. We were soaked but smiling brightly. The puddles were my misogi; his laughter like suzu bells; another day another lesson.
Sweet dreams, folks.
I'm very frustrated with my inability to train regularly. If it's not one thing it's another and the most common theme is my inability to get organized. I've been good at practicing at home, for whatever that's been worth, but it's hard not to feel like a joke after so much inconsistency.
Time to stay positive and keep plugging away: what I can; when I can.